by Tonya Kappes
The thought that Charlotte would want her inheritance before Granny was dead infuriated me. Charlotte and I were definitely not cut from the same cloth. She was always worried about her appearance, which was probably put on her by the community—everyone always telling her how pretty she was, while my greatest compliment was how nice I was. I’m sure it was hard for Charlotte to live up to her God-given looks all the time.
I turned and faced the sliding entrance doors.
“By the way,” I jerked my head around once I reached the front of the building. “I didn’t insist, I suggested we talk about the sideboard. I merely suggested it since I was here. Now I regret it.”
“Cremated.” Charlotte’s chin dipped; she stared at me with those green eyes.
“What?” My face contorted. I glared at her.
“Granny’s wishes are to be cremated.” She smiled with cruel confidence.
My mouth opened. I snapped it shut. Turning on the balls of my feet, I marched out the door and slammed it behind me.
Chapter 4
“How could you?” I stomped around the kitchen of the Sleepy Hollow Inn. “It’s an Eternal Slumber heirloom. Not just a family one. It’s a staple in the Sleepy Hollow community. Everyone in the community always comments on it. And cremation? Since when did you want to be charred like a pig from a pig roast?”
Granny planted her fists on her hips. Her face as red as her hair. She might be only five-foot, four-inches, but she still put the fear of God in me.
“Are you done showing yourself?” Granny’s brows cocked. Her disapproval of my behavior showed on her face.
“Maybe.” I wasn’t able to commit to definitely being done. I was so mad that Charlotte Rae would actually even ask to do such a thing, and that, by the sound of it, Granny didn’t discourage her.
“And here I thought you came here out of the goodness of your own heart to help me out because God knows Hettie Bell has been so busy making everyone Zen that she’s not been able to help out.” She shoved a tray of salad plates at me.
When Hettie came to town, she couldn’t afford to pay for a room in the Inn so Granny put her to work and let her live there for free. After Hettie opened Pose and Relax, she continued to work part-time and help out Granny when she could. Granted, Sleepy Hollow Inn wasn’t generally as busy as it was now since it was reunion weekend.
Granny’s eyes snapped up.
“Take this to table three and come back. We will talk then.” Granny was good at laying the guilt trip on me.
Granny pushed it toward me again. Reluctantly I took it. She was as stubborn as a mule and I knew if I didn’t deliver the salads to the customers in the Inn’s dining room, Granny wasn’t going to tell me a thing about the conversation she had with Charlotte Rae about the sideboard.
I gripped the black tray, holding it close to my gut. I turned and headed toward the swinging kitchen door, knocking it open with my backside. Laughter spilled out into the hallway of the Inn. Granny had really made the Inn very cozy for the guests. She even opened the dining room up as a restaurant for the community. There was nothing better than Granny’s home cooking.
There was not a single table open in the dining room. I kept the tray steady and headed straight for table three. It was the most requested table. It sat on the backside of the Inn next to the large window with the best view of the mountainous caves that put Sleepy Hollow on the tourist map.
I put the tray above my head and curled up on my tiptoes to get past the extra chair the patrons had added to the two-top table to make it a three top.
“You can’t get through there?” The voice sent chills up my spine as it raked up my body like nails on a chalkboard. “I mean, there is a lot of room. Scoot up, Mary Anna.”
I sucked in a deep breath and lowered the tray.
“Who had the Cranberry Cave salad?” I asked, ignoring Jade Lee Peel. It was convenient how Granny left out the little detail the salads were for Jade and her group.
“Me.” Tina Tittle twinkled her fingertips in the air. “Emma Lee has really done a great job for tonight’s get-together at The Watering Hole.”
I smiled at Tina. She was never as mean as Jade, but she didn’t have a spine.
“Who had the Chicken Cobb Cave?” I asked.
Mary Anna Hardy stuck her hand up in the air. It took everything I had not to flip the salad on her Marilyn Monroe styled head of hair.
How could she? I made eye contact with her and glared. Her eyes popped open and she gave a slight shrug.
Mary Anna owned Girl’s Best Friend Spa and was the beautician for my clients at Eternal Slumber. I never understood why she loved doing hair for the dead, but she did.
“Stalagmite Spinach Salad, no salt?” I asked, wishing I had a real stalagmite to stab Jade Lee right in the heart.
There was really no need to ask who had the spinach salad. Jade Lee was known to order everything without salt. She claimed it made her puff up like a big balloon and made her eyes have dark circles.
“Me.” Jade looked at me with a hard, cold-eyed smile. “The Watering Hole.” She rolled her eyes. Her nose curled. “I’ve never been fond of smelly bars. But if it’s the best you could do.” She picked up her fork. I resisted grabbing it and stabbing her in the neck. She moved the spinach around on the plate. She leaned over to Tina. “At least she didn’t plan it in the creepy funeral home.”
A giggle escaped their lips. A tightening of anxiety crept in my heart sending me back in time to high school and Jade’s cruel, underhanded remarks for me every time she saw me. Tina glanced up at me; a melancholy frown flitted across her features.
“Will that be all?” I asked, using the manners Granny taught me to use. I dropped the tray to my side.
“Thank you, Emma Lee.” Mary Anna touched my arm. “Tell Zula Fae it looks delicious. And it’s so nice of you to take time out of your busy day to help her.” She nodded toward the other girls.
“I’ll be sure to tell her.” I bit my lip to stop me from saying something I’d regret.
I made sure I looked around on my way out of the dining room to see if anyone needed refills. Whispers of the homecoming parade fluttered through the dining room. It was exciting.
Before I walked out, I turned back around and took a nice long look at Jade Lee Peel. She might have been the homecoming and prom queen when I was in school and had the best clothes, but I had the best accessory. Jack Henry.
“Granny, why didn’t you tell me that tray was for Jade Lee?” I asked after I bolted through the kitchen door. Granny stood with her back to me. Her arms were going back and forth in a rapid motion with her rolling pin.
“If I did, you’d probably spit in her spinach.” Granny laughed her wicked laugh.
“You are right about that.” I set the tray on the kitchen table. “Oh.” I reached over to the basket of fresh out of the oven biscuits.
“Ah . . . ah . . .” Granny tsked. She put the rolling pin down and wiped her hands on her apron. “That’s for table three.”
“No way am I going back out to table three.” I shook my head. I cleared my throat like I was going to bring up a big mucus ball ready to spit on them.
“She ain’t worth the salt I put in that bread.” Granny winked and pushed the bread basket across the table.
“You didn’t.” The biggest grin crossed my lips. I grabbed the basket. “I’ll be right back and when I am, we are going to talk about that sideboard.”
I hurried back out to table three and slipped the basket on the table while they were in deep conversation about hair and hair color. Happy they didn’t seem to notice. Happier when Jade Lee took a biscuit and bit her pretty, pearly white teeth down into the fluffy dough.
“Mary Anna is a traitor.” I plopped down at the kitchen table. Granny put a hot biscuit in front of me and slid the butter dish over.
The knife cut through the room temperature butter like a warm, comfort feeling. I spread the butter on and ignored Granny’s stare as I took a bite
. I closed my eyes and took in the sweet, savory dough.
“You are going to have to let that girl be if you are going to enjoy yourself.” Granny tapped the table with her finger. “You are the one with the prize.”
“Jack Henry is a prize.” I held the last bit of biscuit up to my face and sighed with happiness. Jack Henry and butter biscuits were two things I thoroughly enjoyed in life.
“No matter what you do, that girl is always gonna be like a bugger you just can’t thump off.” Granny eased down onto the seat across from me.
“No matter how much you try to make me feel better, every single time I look at her, I think about her calling me the creepy funeral home girl.” I slumped down in the chair.
It was funny how those feelings of sadness swept over me like it was yesterday.
“And this whole sideboard isn’t making this any better,” I grumbled.
“You know Charlotte Rae,” Granny declared. “She’s always been a little big for her britches. I would’ve given it right to her if she’d stopped by and made a visit. She called and asked for it.”
Granny and I both knew that around here, if you wanted a favor, or in Charlotte Rae’s case, a family heirloom, you made a visit, not a phone call.
“So you aren’t giving her the sideboard?” I questioned Granny with hope in my heart.
“Not anytime soon.” Granny winked and pushed herself up to her feet. “Now, you run along and be sure that you are all prepared for this evening and tomorrow. Make sure everything goes off without a hitch.” She shook her finger at me. “That way little Miss Priss can’t say a dag-gon word about you. Ever.”
“Who might this Miss Priss be?” Marla Maria Teater stood at the screen door in the kitchen in all her glory with Lady Cluckington attached to a dog leash around her wrist. She wore a skintight black dress that hugged her curves more than the pavement on the back roads. Her red high heels matched her red lips.
“Don’t you think you are bringing that fowl in here,” Granny protested, and snapped the hook lock on the door frame. “Or I’ll wring its neck and pluck it clean.” Granny licked her lips. “Mmmm, mmmm. I can taste that prize chicken now.”
“You have lost your mind, Zula Fae.” Marla Maria grabbed Lady Cluckington and tucked her under her armpit. “You think that little lock is going to keep us out?” Marla Maria clucked.
“Hi there.” I got up and flipped the hook up, letting Marla Maria and Lady Cluckington in. “It’s been a while since I saw you.”
We gave each other a quick hug. I patted Lady on the top of her head.
“Are her nails painted?” I asked, noticing Lady’s pink claws.
“Doesn’t she look great? Precious pink just like mine.” Marla twinkled her hand up in the air. The same color nail polish on her nails.
Granny snarled and mumbled a few unintelligible words under her breath before she went back over to the stove and stirred whatever she had in the pots.
I hadn’t seen Marla Maria since her deceased husband, Chicken Teater, had become a Betweener client and haunted me until I figured out who killed him and had it out for his prize chicken, Lady Cluckington. Thankfully, with the help of Chicken and Jack Henry, Chicken had happily crossed over and his murderer was in jail.
“Honey?” Marla Maria stepped back and squinted. “You look tired. Have you been using that Preparation H like I told you?” She reached out and patted skin underneath my eyes.
“I had heard Jade Lee Peel was in town and I just had to get in front of her.” Marla Maria had on a full face of makeup.
“Why?” I asked flatly, knowing exactly why she was here and dressed to the hilt.
“It would be great for business if I had an endorsement from her.” Marla Maria picked up Lady and stroked her feathery body. “After all, I do run the only pageant school around and she is the face of Sleepy Hollow,” she squealed with delight. “Here.” She shoved Lady against me. “You don’t mind watching Lady while I just go peek in the dining room, do you?”
Whether I minded or not, Marla sashayed out of the kitchen, twisting and turning as if she were on the pageant runway.
“Get that varmint out of here.” Granny’s arm jerked out and her finger pointed. She meant business.
I nearly knocked Mary Anna down when I rushed out the front door with Lady Cluckington tucked in the crook of my arm.
“Lady Cluckington.” Mary Anna laughed and patted Lady on the head.
I set her down in the front yard and held on to her leash while she stabbed her beak at anything and everything on the ground. I could only imagine Chicken Teater going crazy watching me from the Great Beyond—he never let Lady eat anything that he wouldn’t eat.
“Marla Maria made a beeline for Jade, giving me the signal to get out of there,” Mary Anna said.
“And why were you with that snob?” I tried to hold back from the gossip, but it was too much for me to hold in. I was like a shaken up Coke can, ready to explode once opened. Mary Anna opened me. “You are my friend. Not hers. She is evil and mean to me.”
“Geesh.” Mary Anna grinned from ear to ear. “Little Miss Emma Lee has a dark side.”
“I do not,” I protested. Then I corrected myself. “She brings it out in me.”
“Her hair stylist can’t fly into town because of some family emergency, so she’s asked me to do her hair and makeup while she’s here.” Mary Anna rolled her eyes. “She and Tina and . . .” Mary Anna tapped her temple. “I can’t remember that assistant’s name, but anyways”—she shooed off the minor slip of memory—“they came into the shop to buy out a few hours for me to do her hair.”
“Oh, yeah. Tina said something about that this morning.” I recalled her saying something about it at The Watering Hole, but didn’t get all the details because I was so shocked by her appearance and too busy taking it all in. “Thank God you aren’t doing her hair.” I let the leash out a little more so Lady could continue to eat up whatever was in the grass.
“Oh, yes I am.” Mary Anna’s chin flew up in the air and down again. “She’s paying me some good money and with no clients from the nonbreathing, it will make up for the lack of business from the Grim Reaper.”
“You are not only a traitor, but you’re sick.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’ve been Jaded,” I groaned.
“I’ve been what?” Mary cackled. “Jaded?”
“Yep. It’s what Charlotte Rae and I used to say when everyone in town used to drool all over Jade when she was in high school.” I shook my head. “They were all jaded by her good looks and overlooked her evilness.”
“Oh, Emma.” She batted at me. “I’ve got to get going.” She turned and waved behind her back. “She has a specific hair color she uses on her hair and she gave me the formula. I have to go make some up because she will be over shortly to get her hair and makeup done for tonight.”
“Tonight,” I growled under my breath. I had absolutely nothing to wear that would compare to how Jade would be dressed.
Tonight was going to be a disaster. I could feel it.
“Ms. Hardy!” The girl called from the top of the Inn steps, flailing her arms in the air. “I’m coming with you!”
I jumped out of the way, tugging Lady Cluckington’s leash, almost strangling her to death. Lady’s wings flew up in the air sending feathers flying when the girl ran past.
“Pfft. Pfft.” The girl spit and waved her hand in front of her to detour the feathers from flying into her mouth.
Mary Anna stopped on the sidewalk. When the girl got closer, I could tell it was the same girl that had opened Higher Grounds Café’s door this morning for Jade and Jack.
I grabbed the leash and hurried to the tree where Granny kept her moped tied up to listen in on their conversation. The girl knew Mary Anna; Mary Anna apparently knew the girl, but I didn’t. In and even around a small town like Sleepy Hollow, I knew and had heard of everyone.
“Really you don’t have to come.” Mary Anna’s head bobbled. “I’ve been a ha
irdresser for many years and I know what I’m doing.”
“I’ve been Jade’s assistant for many years and I know how she can be.” The girl’s tone turned cold as she warned Mary Anna. “And if you don’t get it right, I’m telling you that this career you have been doing for many years”—the girl gulped—“will be over.”
I wondered what exactly she did for Jade. She was as plain as the day was long.
“There you are.” Marla Maria clomped down the Inn’s front steps in a manner less than pageant style. Her strides were stiff and her hands balled up in fists. “I hope my Lady didn’t eat something bad for her.” She jerked the leash from my hand and bent down to pick up Lady. She stroked her body. “After all, she is a prize hen.”
“Take it easy,” I assured her. “Lady is just fine. What got up in your nest?”
“That . . . That.” Her lips pinched. Her eyes snapped open. “That. That,” she pointed at the Inn with her finger, “so-called beauty queen! Argh!” She shook her head and tucked Lady up under her armpit before she stomped off.
“I guess asking her to be your spokesperson didn’t go so well,” I muttered under my breath, and watched Marla Maria. She was so mad. She was shaking like a hound dog trying to get at the squirrel it treed. “And that’s what Jade Lee Peel does to you.”
I shook my head. In forty-eight hours Jade Lee would be out of here and life in Sleepy Hollow would return to normal. Unfortunately, Jade Lee could do a lot of damage in that forty-eight hours. I’d seen it all my life.
Chapter 5
Business was down. Not many people were dying, which was good for the community but not for paying bills. I had spent so much time working on the reunion over the past few weeks that I had let the premade funeral arrangements go to the wayside.
Some people thought it was creepy to think about their own funeral arrangements before they died, but it was a blessing for the family. I’d seen it so many times where the family was grieving so much, they were unable to make decisions of sound mind, or they wanted to give their loved one a wonderful send-off but found they couldn’t afford to do so.
