by Cara Wylde
“No…”
She started crying harder, leaning over the dead body until her lips almost touched the man’s cold, unmoving lips. She couldn’t feel Kain’s sweet breath on her face anymore, and her heart broke into pieces when she realized it was all her fault. She had done it. It was because of her that Kain was gone now. Then, his features changed under her trembling fingers and Sophie could recognize Alexi’s sharp cheekbones and slightly upturned nose.
“No!”
“Sophie… Sophie, darling… Sophie, wake up!”
That voice… she knew that voice. She wasn’t alone anymore. Sophie struggled to open her eyes. She turned on her left side so violently that she almost smacked Lamia over the face.
“That’s it… come back to me. It was only a dream.”
Lamia was stroking her hair carefully, massaging her temples and whispering softly, urging her to fight her way back to reality.
“It’s okay, my dear. It’s okay… I’m here.”
Sophie managed to open her eyes and focus them on Lamia’s beautiful face. She sat up in bed, and her friend propped a pillow behind her back. She rubbed her eyes and ran her fingers through her tangled hair a couple of times.
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay.” Lamia climbed next to her and snuggled against her side. She shouldn’t have let Sophie sleep alone again, but her roommate had insisted, saying that she didn’t need anyone to watch over her at night. She had been wrong, of course, but there was no way Lamia, or anyone for that matter, could reason with her lately.
“I’m sorry I woke you up.”
They were both silent for a long while.
“Was it the same nightmare?” Lamia asked.
“Yes…”
“You know… It might go away if you…”
“If I what?”
“If you slept with Kain and Alexi as you used to.”
“You know I can’t do that, Lamia.”
“You say that…”
“I can’t, so stop mentioning it.” She waited for her friend to argue with her again, but when Lamia didn’t say anything, Sophie sighed and felt a bit guilty for having snapped at her. “Besides,” she continued. “Alexi has his own shit to deal with right now. Kain can help him. I’d only be a burden.”
CHAPTER TWO
Walking past Meridies, the pavilion of the incubi and succubi, then through the main gate of Lure Academy, Kain stopped in the middle of the road and looked right and left. May had told him she had seen Alexi go into the forest, probably for a walk. Kain sighed and tried to make up his mind. If he went right, the road would take him down the mountain, and he doubted Alexi had gone that way. If he went left, he would eventually hit a dead end. The forest around the Academy was rather dense and unfriendly. The terrain was steep, and the overgrown roots of the old firs could turn into horrible traps if one wasn’t careful. That was why the cambions rarely went for strolls outside the gates. Kain hesitated one more minute, then went left. He allowed his instinct to guide him, and after walking for five minutes, he stepped carefully between the trees at the edge of the road.
The past few days since coming back to Lure had been a nightmare. An entirely different kind of nightmare, if Kain were to compare it to what had happened at Casimir D’Argyle’s mansion. A bad dream happening in slow motion. First, Sophie had started avoiding them and locking herself up in her and Lamia’s room. Neither Kain, nor Alexi had seen her since the meeting in Lilith’s office. The blond would have understood if Sophie had given the silent treatment to the Pantheon. They had all been jerks to her, refusing to tell her what they knew about her sigil. But, for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why she was giving him and Alexi the silent treatment as well. They could have helped her. They could have tried to distract her, and if that didn’t work, help her research the strange, intricate mandala on her stomach. Kain huffed and stepped over a root that was half hidden under twigs and leaves.
Then, there was Alexi. Kain’s roommate, lover and partner had been avoiding him too. He would have expected him to go straight to Oriens to see Duke Gremory, but instead Alexi had spent most of his time in their room, with his headphones over his ears and his eyes stuck in a video game. It was the first time Kain had seen him like this. He had had no idea Alexi was using his computer for something other than studying and researching demons, especially the Dukes, so it had all come as a huge, unexpected surprise. He had tried to talk to Alexi, coax him into telling him what was happening, but Alexi had only grown more distant. One evening, Kain had come into their shared room only to see that Alexi had separated their beds. He had thrown a tantrum, of course, but the only reaction he had gotten was Alexi storming out of the room and returning hours later, when Kain was already asleep.
The blond tripped over a root, found his footing on time, and cursed under his breath. “Things can’t go on like this,” he thought. “One way or another, it ends here.” He was tired of stepping on eggshells while he was around Alexi, tired of being patient, fed up with measuring his words carefully as to not hurt the Russian. Yes, Gremory had ruined his life, he had carved his awful mark on Alexi’s back and abandoned him, but it was time for his partner to face the facts. Face reality.
And Sophie… what were they supposed to do with Sophie? Kain couldn’t handle everything by himself. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed where his train of thought had taken him. “I can’t handle everything by myself,” he whispered. He shook his head and smiled. “Great! These two assholes have messed with my head, turned my life upside down, and now they’ve each disappeared into their own bubble.” He had never thought he would ever need someone by his side. Not a man. Not a woman. He had worked alone for too many years. He had been sure he would never get attached again. He looked into the distance and saw the sun finally making its way through the trees, which meant there was probably some sort of clearing up ahead. He resumed walking with new-found determination. He was going to get his two lovers and partners back. One way or another. First Alexi, then Sophie.
Alexi was sitting on a root, head down, his dark hair sticking into his eyes. He heard someone approaching, but didn’t turn around. He could already feel Kain’s summery aura enveloping the small clearing, making the bright sunrays feel warmer on his skin. He was wearing a white T-shirt, tattered blue jeans, and a pair of old mountain boots. He hadn’t felt like putting on something fancier before leaving their room a couple of hours ago. When Kain crouched in front of him, Alexi didn’t look up.
“Lovely friend you have there,” said the blond.
Alexi furrowed his brows at the weird statement, then realized he had been staring at a rather big and long black ant as it was trying to grab and lift some sort of seed. He blinked and moved his eyes to Kain’s leather boots. As usual, the blond had tucked his leather pants inside them, leaving the laces half undone. He stopped himself from looking up at his roommate’s strong arms, lean body, wide shoulders, and long, soft hair. Kain was smoking hot, and Alexi didn’t need that distraction right now. He didn’t need any kind of distraction until he sorted things out and made a decision.
“So… this is your secret place.” Kain looked around the clearing. It was rather nice, but uncomfortable. Asides from the thick root Alexi was using as a stool, there was no other place to sit, unless you didn’t mind leaves and dirt sticking to your pants.
“If it were secret, I would’ve made sure no one saw me leave the Academy.”
“Right.”
Alexi hadn’t looked at him yet, and Kain was growing impatient. The last thing he liked was being ignored.
“I think it’s time for you to talk.”
“I don’t wanna talk.”
“I know. But you have to. Come on, you’ll feel better after you get it out of your system. Trust me.”
Alexi growled and kept staring stubbornly at the small creature on the ground. If he waited long enough, maybe Kain would just get bored or frustrated and leave him alone.
“I thought the
first thing you’d do after coming back to Lure would be to pay Gremory a visit. Mikal has been waiting for you in Oriens.”
“Waiting… to kick me out?”
Kain shrugged. “Well, yes. But that’s not the point.”
“Then what is the point?” Alexi huffed. “I can’t rip his head off, so why bother seeing him?”
“Because you need to put an end to this. You need to go there, face him, tell him whatever the hell you’ve been waiting to tell him all this time, then move on.”
“It’s easy for you to say…”
“For fuck’s sake, it’s not easy!” Kain jumped to his feet and started pacing. His right leg had fallen asleep in the odd position and now an army of needles was running up and down his muscles. “Look, I know it’s not easy, but you have to do it at some point. Sooner rather than later. This situation isn’t helping anyone. And how can you even live knowing that he’s here, so close to you, in the building right across from yours, while he has no idea you’re here?”
“Maybe that’s what makes it easier…”
“That he doesn’t know? That as far as he’s concerned, you might as well be dead?”
Alexi squeezed his eyes shut, then rose to his feet slowly. Finally, he looked into Kain’s pale blue eyes. He felt a strange satisfaction when he saw the blond flinch at his cold stare.
Kain swallowed hard and pushed further. “Why don’t you just go there and show him he was wrong? Show him you survived without him, show him he doesn’t have any power over you and that stupid mark on your back means nothing to you.”
“That stupid mark on my back is still burning.” Alexi spoke slowly, spitting each word into Kain’s face. “Every time I come close to Oriens, to Gremory, it’s like my whole body is set on fire.”
“Because you refuse to fight it!”
“What do you know about fighting?” He took a step towards Kain. “Oh yes, you lost your eyes, you were forced to take your human father’s eyes… what was he again? A painter? Then you took revenge on each and every demon who crossed your path. Is that what you call fighting?”
Kain took a deep breath and struggled to keep his temper in check. Alexi was hurting. He was hurting, and because he didn’t know how to hurt Gremory in return, he was taking it out on Kain. It was okay. He could handle this.
“That’s not all,” the blond said in a calm, well-measured voice. “I know what you’re going through, believe me.”
“How do you fuckin’ know? You don’t know anything!”
“It’s not a good time because this is not about me. It’s about you and Gremory. You have to set things straight. You have to go there and talk to him. Mikal won’t even let you touch him, and that’s okay. You don’t have to take that sort of revenge to move on. You’ve already done more that anyone could’ve expected from you by catching him and bringing him to the Academy. Your job in what Gremory is concerned is done.”
“It’s not about you… It’s not about you.” Alexi rolled his eyes. “If you wanna say something, just say it.” Kain was incapable of taking himself out of the equation even when things were clearly not connected to him. It almost amused Alexi. On the other hand, it made him curious too.
“I was thinking…” Kain couldn’t believe what he was about to say. It was stupid. He knew it was stupid, but he also knew he wasn’t the right person to try and help Alexi. “I’ve heard Sophie has been seeing Erah.”
Alexi’s dark green eyes widened. “No. Stop right there.”
“Listen to me: he might be able to help. I’ve never told you this, but I’ve seen him in the past. He helped me clear my head…”
“Yeah. That’s why you ended up slaughtering demons.”
“Slaughtering? What kind of word is that?” Kain was starting to lose his patience and temper. “I always brought them to Lure alive.”
“But not exactly in one piece, am I right?”
Kain breathed in and out a couple of times. Yes, Alexi was right. He had been particularly cruel when solving his cases since the incident which had almost left him blind, but again… this wasn’t about him.
“At least consider it,” the blond said. “Erah is one of the good guys. He actually cares about us, unlike the rest of the Pantheon.”
Alexi swallowed heavily. Kvasir also cared about him, his only son. He had been avoiding the incubus just as much as he had been avoiding Kain and Gremory. He looked at Kain for a long minute, at his bright eyes, straight nose, and thin lips. No, he didn’t need friends now. He didn’t need Kain, Sophie, Kvasir, or Erah. He didn’t need enemies, either. Just thinking about Gremory made his skin crawl and his demon mark burn. He turned around and headed back to the Academy.
“Hey! You don’t get to turn your back to me!” Kain yelled. When Alexi ignored him, the blond went after him. “You dumbass! I’m going to help you get through this whether you like it or not.” He struggled to keep his balance on the steep incline. “Shit.”
♥
Kain caught up with Alexi in their room. The blond threw the door open, determined to give his partner a good piece of his mind after he had forced him to trek through the forest at an insane pace. Both his leather boots and leather pants were full of scratches. However, when he found Alexi throwing clothes into a huge bag, he instantly forgot everything he had been meaning to yell at him.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting out of here.”
“Out where?” Kain closed the door behind him and approached Alexi carefully. This wasn’t happening.
“Anywhere.” Alexi didn’t look at his roommate. “There’s a whole wide world out there. I’ll find some place to stay.”
“You’re kidding, right?” The blond clenched his fists at his sides. “You’re fuckin’ kiddin’…”
“No, Kain, I’m not.” He stopped for a second to catch his breath, then looked up into Kain’s blue eyes. “I thought of asking the Pantheon to give me another room, but that won’t do. I know that now. It’s not just that I need to be alone for a while… away from you, from Sophie… who doesn’t want us around her anyway… I need to be away from all this. Away from him.”
“You’ve been away from him all this time! What the hell do you think you’re accomplishing by running?”
“I don’t know. I’ve no clue. But I do know that I can’t stay. It’s driving me insane.”
Kain saw the lost look in his lover’s eyes. He saw the pain. Alexi’s shoulders were slightly slumped, as if he were carrying a heavy burden on his back. And he was. The demon mark. Kain unclenched his fists and relaxed all the muscles in his body. One by one. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, softly, turning his focus to Alexi’s aura. It was tainted, he could feel it now. He could see it clearly with his mind’s eye. Alexi’s aura used to be fresh and earthy. It used to carry that scent of rain and lush, green forest. Now, there was something else there, something foreign. Something that left a taste of copper on Kain’s tongue and made him think of distant, rotten memories.
“It won’t go away…” he whispered. “No matter how fast you run, no matter how far you get… It won’t go away.” He closed the distance between them, and Alexi straightened his back. Kain looked into his green eyes and emphasized his words, as if each of them held some kind of secret power. “He doesn’t own you, Alexander. He never did.”
A shiver ran up Alexi’s spine at the sound of his full name rolling down Kain’s lips. He closed his eyes and let the words sink in. He allowed himself to believe them. He had repeated these exact words to himself over and over after Gremory had abandoned him, and then while spending every free minute he had looking for him, but he had never quite managed to convince himself of the truth behind them. It felt different now that Kain had been the one to speak them. He smelled the blond’s fresh breath right before Kain leaned in to capture his lips in a soft kiss. Alexi sighed and parted his lips to grant his lover access to his tongue, his body, his soul.
Kain’s hands found their way into Alexi’s dishe
veled hair, and Alexi let him do whatever he wanted. The nimble fingers pulled at the dark strands while the blond devoured his mouth, slowly at first, then hungrier and more demanding. Alexi’s hands rested on his lover’s hips for a moment, then traveled up his sides, pulling him closer, smashing their bodies together. He felt Kain’s erection through his tight leather pants, and his own cock twitched with need. They hadn’t done anything in quite a while. In Ukraine, they had been too absorbed by the case and too focused on making the right decisions. The only time Kain, Alexi and Sophie had allowed themselves to indulge in each other’s auras was when Sophie needed to recharge her weakened powers. And when she hadn’t been with them, both Alexi and Kain had been too worried about her to think about finding solace in each other’s arms. It had only seemed fair.
Now, however, Alexi needed Kain, and Kain knew that. The blond would do everything in his power to ease his partner’s pain, to show him he was much stronger than the demon who had broken his heart so many years ago. He ground his hips into Alexi’s crotch and moaned into the kiss, letting his warm, summery aura envelop them completely. He felt the Russian giving in, letting his shield down and allowing himself to be carried away by the moment.
Deep down, Alexi had yearned for someone to take control. Every time he and Kain had been intimate, he had been the one to dominate the blond and force him to submit to his will. It had felt exhilarating, but it was time for them to reverse the roles. Even though he was pulling lightly at Kain’s T-shirt to show him how much he wanted the garment out of the way, Alexi refrained from becoming bolder. He didn’t have the energy to take the lead, and he didn’t want to play that role. Not this time.
Kain took the cue and broke the kiss, a thin string of saliva still connecting their lips. He gave Alexi a sweet smile, but soon his pale blue eyes turned mischievous. He grabbed the cambion’s wrists and squeezed until he let go of his T-shirt, then he forced his hands behind his back as he dived to taste the soft skin of his neck. Alexi threw his head back and moaned loudly. His cock was starting to give him a hard time inside the confines of his rough jeans, and he knew that the front of his boxers had already become damp with pre-cum.
