sommer marsden learning to drown-CALIBRE

by Sommer Marsden

  “Look at you. Desperate. Slutty. Gorgeous, needy little whore.” Coming out of his mouth, the words that should sound so horrible sounded as bright and shiny as new coins. There was a tone of reverence in his voice that I knew I wasn‘t imagining. As if he were marveling at my bravery and strength. My ability and willingness to accept his pain. More pride, shiny and big, filled my solar plexus.

  “Yes,” I managed. “Yes, Sir. I am needy. I need you.”

  The world turned wildly when he rolled me on my back. The light stung my eyes, the ceiling fixture an interrogation light. Lucas shed his pajama pants in an effortless motion of flexing muscle and sinew. His hair still twisted in whorls to one side, eyes sharp but still a bit sleepy. He was beautiful and perfect and a new kind of fear rippled through me. I didn’t stop to look at it. Instead I studied him. His cock stood out before him, hard and perfect. He stroked himself and watched me. I noticed the birth mark on his hipbone, how his cock curved to the left, the way his thigh muscles bunched when he pumped his shaft. The smooth head of his flushed sex. The dark trail of hair from his navel to his groin was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. I licked my lips, moved a little. My entire body resonated with my want of him. I spread my legs for him to see me. The swollen, rosy flesh between my legs that beat with my rapid pulse. Beat so hard it felt as if my heart had relocated from chest to cunt.

  “Spread them wider for me. Let me see everything. You’re so pretty. You know that, right? Red on your ass end, red between your legs. Not pink like most women. True red. You have a red, red cunt, September. Like a sinful little flower.”

  He moved closer as he threw his praise at me. My belly curled in on itself and relaxed, spasms of excitement that bordered on pain. I moved my hips, flexed against the ties. Begging him with my body to be fucked, for him to touch me. Touch me hard, touch me soft, however he wanted. I simply craved the feel of him.

  There was that half grin again. So immensely cocky and yet he backed up every assumption with the talent to make me feel this weak and wanted. I would not think about time or logistics. I flexed my calves, spread wider, watched him move to the bedside table and open the drawer. “What were you just thinking just then,” Lucas asked. He didn’t look at me. He looked at the foil packet now in his hand. Peeled it open so slow I heard every crinkle of the shiny wrapper.

  “That I shouldn’t be thinking.” I tried to pull my gaze up to meet his, but my eyes fixed on his dick. He was large and so hard. The rational parts of me shut down at the sight of him. What was left were the animalistic parts that were so eager, maybe too eager, to get him inside of me. To feel that first immense thrust that would seat him deep inside my pussy. And then to feel the whole of me pressed to the all of him.

  “Scared?”

  I nodded, watching him roll the milky pale rubber over the perfect flushed length of his cock. I almost said, No, no don’t do that. I want to feel you. All of you. But that was just plain stupid and if he was using one he was too smart to listen to the likes of me anyhow. “Yes, I’m very scared.”

  “Want to change your mind?” He turned, holding his now sheathed cock in his hand. Smiled. Pointed it at me like a gun. He was trying to push me off balance. Pushing my boundaries, my nice girl sensibilities. My common sense.

  “No.” My eyes found that scar in his eyebrow again. Why was I so fascinated with that damn scar? Because it was the only evidence of weakness? That Lucas Crow was indeed flesh and blood and not a perfect, invincible alpha male.

  He came at me, his brown eyes sleepy but dangerous. The cut of his jaw, the angle of his brow hard and malicious. His sleep spiked hair shone in the stark light of the overhead making him appear, in that breath of time, almost angelic. A dark angel come down to steal my soul. “Say red and you’re out of here. Untied, in my sweats, which I will give to you. Returned to your man and your life and all of it. Or I can take you to the police. Family, friends, neighbors, any or all of the above. Just say the word. Tell me no.”

  I trembled, finally in this place of my abduction. A dark place I had silently imagined for a long time. How many daydreams? How many nights dreaming it? Waking up sweaty and on the verge of orgasm. Twice, coming awake mid-orgasm. My own fingers tangled and stroking between my legs, bringing myself to climax while I dreamt of the overpowering, strong, violent dark him who would take me. Now Lucas was here, being the him I’d imagined. Fantasized. Wished for in some shadowed part of myself. A dream come true. Someone to do the things to me I craved, hell, needed. But trustworthy enough to not be a monster.

  “Tell me no, September,” he said, watching me. Stroking his cock, moving one step closer.

  So I said the only thing that maybe would save me. I parted my legs farther, arched my hips toward the ceiling to show myself to him fully and said, begging. “Please.”

  Chapter 10

  He tore the panties with his fingers. I watched. Rip, rip went the little scraps of lace that held them together at my hips. I didn’t care. I could buy new panties. This, I could never get again. This first with him.

  His lips came down on my belly and he kissed me right above the swell of my sex. Soft, teasing kisses that had me thrashing in his bonds. Lucas’s own little personal marionette, bouncing around. Wishing, praying and hoping his lips would move lower. Part my nether lips, suck my clit, make me come with long laps of his tongue. “I’m impressed,” he said and kissed a fraction of an inch lower.

  I whimpered. Such a cowardly, powerless sound but I let it loose like a whispered supplication. His mouth on me felt almost too good. His kisses a heady blend of Heaven and Hell. I needed him lower. I had never needed to come more in my life than during that small blink in time. Trapped in the sexual equivalent of a fever dream. Time was elastic, pain and pleasure merged so one was indecipherable from the other. I bucked and Lucas put his hands on the angles of my hipbones, pinning me tight. Holding my pelvis to the bed with his muscular forearms. “You need to be still. Do. Not. Move.”

  I obeyed though it seemed impossible. Tranquil on the surface, I focused on simply drawing air. His tongue swept over my clit, licked the wet seam of me. His licks grew harder and his finger fanned over the sharp rise of my hipbones. His tanned hands standing out boldly against my pale white flesh. He held me down so tight, I could not move. Helpless, I wanted to promise him anything, anything at all, if he would make me come.

  I forced the babbling down in my throat and watched his blonde head between my legs as he forced the rigid tip of his tongue inside of me. His tongue fucked me slow and lazy until I was weeping with desperation. “I didn’t think you could do ten,” Lucas said, raising his head and staring at me. Taking note of the tears, he asked almost kindly. “How bad?”

  I shrugged, denying myself complaint. He would fuck me or he wouldn’t. He would let me come or he wouldn’t. If I was going to do this¾be at his mercy¾then I needed to do it completely. I stayed silent as tears continued to roll and my chest hitched with emotion.

  “Cat got your tongue?” He grinned. “Tell me. That’s not a request.” Before I could speak he pushed his fingers inside of me and touched the evidence of my want. His fingers made slippery silver sounds inside of me when he thrust.

  “Bad,” I stammered. My teeth and lips wanted to chatter from my attempt at control.

  “A little reward then. For doing so well your first time. Your ass is red and pink and tomorrow some blue and purple for fun. You did extremely well for a beginner. For that I’ll reward you.”

  My heart warmed, tingled. Nearly lightheaded with gratitude I said, “Thank you.”

  Lucas forced my legs apart, pushed his cock to my belly and rested it there. Watching me. His tan face flushed and darkly stubbled. He rubbed his cock on my belly, pressing the back of his dick to my clit when he thrust. Faux sex. He slid along the top of my split, fucking me without entering me. My pulse pounded as I suppressed the urge to beg.

  Then I remembered. “Thank you, Sir. Thank you.” A few more tears. He wiped them
off.

  “Enough of that,” he said. and pushed into me with one long thrust. His cock stretched me, filled me. I was falling, tipping back through the mattress like falling into the ocean from a cliff. At least it felt that way. Lucas watched me, not smiling.

  Being under his eyes was like being pinned naked to a wall. Or put in a shop window without a stitch of clothes. I’d never felt more naked than when I watched him drink me in, studying my face, reading my mind. Lucas moved over me, his belly brushing mine as he thrust. My cunt grew taut and eager and I shut my eyes to feel him better.

  “Open your eyes, September,” he said, the intimate feel of his breath in my ear.I forced them open, letting his gaze penetrate me as surely as his cock did. His chest warm against my breasts as he moved slow. Fucked me slow and easy, each inch he thrust generated a mile of pleasure. His movements drawn out so I felt a crawling restlessness in my chest. Lucas slid his hands under my bottom, pushing his fingertips against that tender welted skin. Yanking me up to him even as he pushed into me. His eyes stayed on mine¾curious, dark¾thoroughly unnerving. I shut my eyes without thinking.

  His movements slowed and my eyes flew open. “That was a reminder. If you don’t listen, you don’t come. And you are right there, right on that edge, my girl, aren’t you?”

  I nodded, my cunt tight and slippery on the cusp of the first sweet spasm that would bring me pleasure and relief. “I’m sorry.”

  His hips moved faster, he slid deeper. When his eyes grew darker I knew Lucas was right there with me. He’d probably never admit it but my body twisted with satisfaction to know it.

  “I want to watch you the first time I take you. The first time I fuck you and make you come. I want to see that because you’re mine now,” he said. His lips so near my skin I could feel them even though they weren’t touching me. His energy meshing with mine as his hips pistoned faster. I came on the word mine. A perfect, fierce orgasm that pin wheeled lower and lower in my body like a falling star. I shook under him. He felt so big to me then. I cried out, failing his order of stillness miserably.

  Lucas kept his head tucked against my throat, his teeth homed in there. Sharp and intense but not breaking my skin. His fingers pulled at my sore bottom and his cock slammed into me harder and harder still. Lucas hitched my legs up higher, tilting my pelvis, moving me like his own living breathing doll. His thumb found my clit and circled until shocked and breathless, I came again. His eyes watched me, a human lie detector I couldn’t fool. “Good girl,” he said. “You’re a fast learner. Dirty little slut,” he said and a final aftershock of pleasure rocked through me. This time, Lucas came with me.

  * * * *

  I didn’t know what to expect. What would he do? With Damien it had been scripted. He would ‘steal’ me, then fuck me and then we’d have dinner or watch a movie. It was nothing but fluff. This time, it had all been real. I was really tied up, he had really spanked me. I really felt that spark of warmth and intensity in my belly and pussy and heart when Lucas Crow said mine. I waited, listening to his heart beat. He laid still, pressed to me so each beat of his heart pounded through me. In tandem with my own heart.

  He kissed me. It was a soft kiss but his stubble scraped my skin. His hands tangled in my hair and tugged at my face to pull me closer. If I weren’t bound, I would have touched his face too. Memorized the planes of his features. The sharp places and the soft ones. I started to speak but he shushed me.

  “I’m going to leave you now till morning. It’s not far off, but you need to go to sleep and remember I’m right next door. And Daisy is right there.” He nodded to the doorway where the beast could be heard but only her paws were visible.

  I was used to a shower, at least a chance to use the bathroom. That wasn’t up to me this time. Lucas had decided I would go to sleep. I could live with that, but my heart hurt to think of him leaving me all over again.

  He read my mind like he always seemed to do. “I want you to sleep. I’ll let you up when dawn breaks and you can use the bathroom. Go to sleep, Ember,” he said and covered me with a quilt.

  I didn’t balk, though my nature was to do so. This is what he wanted me to do, it was what I would do. Period. I shut my eyes, knowing I would never ever sleep. But I would try. I was still aroused, had to pee, my ass stung and I kept playing it all in my head over and over and over again. Lucas fucking me. Saying mine. No, I would never fall asleep. I focused on the steady thump of blood in my welted, tender bottom and somehow fell asleep counting the heartbeats that pounded in my skin.

  Chapter 11

  “Time to get up,” he said. His voice sandpaper and broken glass. I opened my eyes to him and smiled. Lucas smiled back and untied my wrists. My ankles were already free, the covers bunched around my middle, a blue hill of cotton. “I’m sure you need to use the toilet and would kill me for a shower if I let you close enough.”

  When he grinned at me it went straight to my pussy. Lucas smelled shower fresh and his face was shaved smooth. I wanted to touch it but didn’t reach out. His hair, damp and a bit too long fell in his eyes. And the eyes themselves flashed as dark and rich as my usual morning coffee. Coffee I was already craving intensely.

  “I wouldn’t kill you but I’d beg,” I said. I sat up, rubbed my wrists. No marks but my shoulders ached dully from the constant bit of tension. I was already wet from his close proximity. I could feel my insides, wet and swollen and still tender from the night before. He watched me suffer all of those thoughts and I blushed at my choice of words. But it was true. I would beg him.

  “I like the sound of that.” He touched my bottom lip. His finger smelled like soap and coffee. My stomach rumbled. Lucas pushed his finger into my mouth, moving slow, stroking my tongue like it was my cunt. A lazy warmth filled my pelvis. I felt like I was glowing. I sucked his finger, swirling my wet tongue along the length, when he shut his eyes for just a beat, I sucked harder. “I like the sound of that very much but you need to go wash up and I’m going to feed you. You need food for fuel. And coffee, really strong coffee.”

  I sucked again and grinned around his probing finger. “Coffee?” I moaned like I was mid-orgasm. Lucas laughed.

  “Hot, strong and black as sin. Waiting just for you. Go get washed up and I’ll make sure you have as much as you can stand when you come down.”

  I stumbled to the bathroom, sleep deprived but happy. My bare feet cold on the hardwood floor, my steps a whisper on the bare planks. The bathroom was lit with sunshine that filtered through a sky light. A butter yellow light in the stark black and white room. His sweats and a new tee were on the toilet tank. A pair of socks. A comb. I didn’t think I’d ever stop peeing but when I finally did, I stood under the hot shower spray letting the water beat the sleep knots out of my muscles. I worked the fuck knots out of my hair with conditioner.

  If I closed my eyes I could still feel his finger on my tongue, a phantom touch. I wasn’t nearly as nervous as maybe I should be. Who knew what the day would bring. Would he tie me back up? Was I spending the day thrashed to his guest bed? Inside was so much at once-curiosity, terror, elation.

  I touched my tender butt cheek, the skin slightly warm under my fingers. I pushed my fingers on the flushed skin, feeling the bite of a deep bruise. I turned off the shower, dried off, tried to wipe the mirror. Mainly, I smeared it. But even my smudged and humid reflection was the mottled bruise of his marks on my skin. He had marked me. I was marked by Lucas Crow. Was there any walking away from it now?

  * * * *

  He greeted me with a steaming mug off coffee, fried eggs, scrapple, bacon, fresh fruit and cottage cheese. “I thought you might be hungry. I know I was starving. Ate two plates full.“ When Lucas spoke I had to touch the table to keep from feeling floaty. His voice did odd things to me. Everyone has a trigger. Mine was the sound of his voice like pebbles under my feet at the ocean. His voice never failed to make my body respond. “I am famished. I could eat all of this and start over again, I think.” I kept my voice soft. I bar
ely heard myself even though the house was quiet.

  “Are you afraid of me?”

  The question startled me and I looked up from my plate before I’d even tucked in. “No. Not in a classic sense. I don’t think I’m afraid of you so much as…”

  He waited. That trait, alone was admirable to me. I could never manage that psychologist’s tool of quietude. Patience was a virtue, but it was not my virtue.

  “Respectful of your power.” There. That was the best way I could put it.

  He seemed pleased. Which pleased me. And I noted here I was at ground zero. Wondering why the fuck I really cared if Lucas Crow approved of my feelings, thoughts, or reactions. And yet I did. I really, really did and that freaked me out a bit. Luckily, I was too hungry and too desperate for caffeine to let the confusion bog down my brain.

  I pushed half a piece of bacon into my mouth and added two teaspoons of sugar and a splash of cream to my coffee. Swallowing the bacon, I sipped the still too-hot coffee and gave a damn near orgasmic moan. “Did you know you make the best coffee in the world?”

  He grinned at me, straightening his place mat and then mine. “It’s the brand. Dave’s. Dave’s Coffee. The best Baltimore can bring.”

  “It is divine. And you’re a hell of a cook, too. I can burn some toast. Hell, I can burn some water, but as far as cooking actual non burnt things, I have issues.”

  “Who put you in charge of way too much for your soul to bear, September?”

  He spit it out just like that and I stopped, an unchewed piece of scrapple in my mouth. Anger rose in me, harsh and fast. Red and bright like a shot gun flaring in the dark. “Who took your power?” I hissed. The anger was not to be reasoned with and though I recognized him at this point as my Dominant, my rage had teeth and moved fast.