by Seton, Cora
She chewed her lip. “What about you? Will they come to get you?”
He frowned. “I’m not the priority. Catching Crow before he and his men launch an attack on the U.S. is far more important than rescuing a lone SEAL. I’ll get myself back to base one way or the other.”
She gripped his arms. “But Crow shot down your helicopter. The SEALs must be looking for you.”
“The weather’s too rough. No helos in the air. No satellite. They wouldn’t have any clue where to look. For now, I’m under cover. With you.” A slight smile played on his lips, then fell off. “If only Preston had made it, too. Shit, I should’ve saved him. It’s my fault the kid isn’t here now.”
He was trembling? She held on as tightly as she could.
“Don’t say that. It’s not your fault.”
“He was trapped inside the downed helicopter. When I went to scout for help, one of Crow’s men…” He swallowed hard. “Who shoots an injured and trapped kid?”
She shook her head. Why did real bad guys exist in this world?
His voice was low. The torment in his face squeezed her heart. “Preston did the only thing he could—two grenades blew them both sky-high. Nothing left.”
“Goodness.” The word was barely more than an exhale.
His turned his back on her and walked to the window. “I should’ve protected him, not the other way around.”
“You can’t feel guilty, Ty.”
“If I’d turned the helo around earlier, or gotten Preston out, or took a shot…something. Dammit, I should have done a thousand things differently. Preston didn’t have to die, Holly.” He slammed his fist on the windowsill. “The kid didn’t deserve it. That’s on me.”
“Dear man, stop.” She hated to see him suffering. Pulling on his shoulder, she forced him to turn around, and winced at the pain twisting those beautiful features. Taking his face in her hands, she said, “Sometimes bad things happen even when we don’t deserve it. Think for a minute. If Preston was here right now, would he blame you for his death?”
He let out a deep breath. “No.”
“If the roles had been reversed—you trapped in the helicopter and him on the outside trying to save you—would you blame Preston for what happened?”
“Hell, no.”
She put her hands on his wide shoulders. “Then you have to let it go. You didn’t kill him, that bird guy did. He’s the real evil.”
He buried his face in the crook of her neck. “I get so tired of this shit. So many good guys have been lost either on the field or by their own hand. Really good guys.”
“I know, baby. I know.” And she did. She’d read reports, seen evidence. Supporting vets was one of the things Ronald was trying to fix up on the Hill. Looking out for the military was his big thing and a cause she believed in deeply. It was also a good reason for her not to go to the cops and reveal his abusive behavior. Punishing Ronald could have an unintended effect of destroying current bills and hurting the heroes who deserved to be protected. She owed them too much to let that happen. She rubbed Ty’s back and said a silent prayer for all the men who had been lost—living and dead.
Ty held on for several silent minutes. She was touched that he let her be strong for him. She had a feeling SEALs very rarely shared their deep emotions with others. Weren’t they taught to not show fear? What an honor it was to see Ty’s vulnerable side. It made her care for him a hundred times more than she already did, which was already off the charts. This moment with him was a gift. She’d be strong for him, letting him take comfort in her arms. It wasn’t enough after all he’d done for her and the country—could never be enough—but it was the best she could do. She’d gladly give whatever she had to ease his heartache.
“Sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t be dumping this crap on you.”
“Right. Because I’d never dump any of my troubles on you.” She ran her hands through his thick, dark hair. Mercy, she never liked long hair on a man before, but she had the insane desire to run her fingers through his for years.
He gave her a gentle squeeze. “It’s different. I wanted to hear yours.”
“And I want you to tell me yours too. What you do, Ty, is honorable. Respectable. When you go to work, there is always danger, risk. You are a true, selfless hero. How many of us can say that? I am so grateful.” Her cheeks got warm. Any second now the blush would blotch her neck and chest, and she’d resemble an heirloom tomato. “And I am also very, very ashamed. Please forgive me.”
“Why?”
“Because I am a total donkey’s behind. I am so embarrassed.”
He pulled back to look at her. “I can see that. Do you know how cute you are when you blush?”
“It’s not cute, it’s shameful. Wow, I’m such a ninny.”
“A donkey’s behind and a ninny? Such sailor talk.” He ran a knuckle over her cheek. She was thankful to see the corners of his lips twitch.
“Pageant officials disqualified girls for using bad words so my mom banned all not nice language from the house. To this day, I can’t cuss. But I wouldn’t be surprised if you called me one or two choice words because of what I thought, holy cow, what I said to you.”
His dark eyebrow crooked. “You lost me.”
“I didn’t believe you were a real SEAL. I thought you were…” She couldn’t look at him. Not after what he’d been through. “…a liar.”
“Holly…”
Nope, she wouldn’t look. “You must think I am the most ungrateful, egotistical, spoiled brat you’ve ever met. You took me in, cared for me and my dogs, have been nothing but kind and generous, and the first thing I do is call you a liar. Ty, you have every right to toss me out in the snow.”
He cupped her cheek. “How would I keep you warm then?”
She opened one eye. Thank God, he was smiling. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”
“Not entirely your fault. I kept the scary stuff a secret to keep from frightening you. I didn’t know how tough you are.”
She turned her head and pressed a kiss to his palm. “Meet the newly developing Holly Colton. She’s a real fanny kicker.”
He laughed. Wow, she loved the melodious sound that rolled through his chest. So rich and full of life; amazing after all the death he must have seen.
“You are kicking my ass, that’s for sure. Let’s make a deal.” He pressed his forehead to hers until they were eye-to-eye. “No more secrets between us.”
Oh, Lord. He wanted her to say Ronald’s name, didn’t he? Nu-uh. She couldn’t do that. Ty was strong and capable, oh boy, was he capable, but Ronald had his powerful fingers in too many pots. Her ex could personally hurt Ty, and in the end, other vets like him. She wasn’t about to let that happen. Not agreeing to Ty’s “deal” was the only way she could protect him.
“Um…”
“You’re thinking too hard about this,” he said. “I’m agreeing with you. This won’t work between us unless everything is aboveboard.”
Aboveboard. Heck, she wanted to go below, around, and all over his board. Her inner sex kitten was clawing her way out again.
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she pressed her cheek to his chest and closed her eyes. She was quickly falling in…huh, what to call it? It couldn’t be love. No one fell in love that fast, did they? But she liked him more than a little. Who wouldn’t? He was gorgeous, kind, caring, strong, and made her insides quiver just by looking at her. He made her feel protected. She could easily fall in love with Ty without really trying. She breathed in his male scent and fell even more.
“You’re quiet, sailor girl. Are you still with me?” He ran his warm, hands down her back. “Tell me I didn’t scare you.”
Holly tipped her head up. “You can’t scare me.” She was scared for him.
“Good. If you’ve changed your mind about us…I’ll understand. Won’t like it, but I’ll go with whatever you decide. Either way, I still need to know about your ex. He’s going to be punished, Holly. I’ll see to that.
”
He wasn’t going to let it go, was he? Determination was one of those things she liked in a man. Ronald was determined to change the world, especially for guys like Ty. Believing in his platform, she actually thought she could fall in love with Ronald if she worked hard enough at it, wore nothing but rose-colored glasses, and as it turned out, was a total idiot. He talked a good talk and she was swept away with his desire to do good things for the country. She had wanted to love him. She’d tried to love him. It didn’t happen. Still, she valued marriage and would’ve stayed with him if things hadn’t gone so horrifically wrong. She’d still be in DC ignoring her own needs and trying to be a good wife.
But she did have needs. Ty had ignited many, many hot desires in her that were about to explode. She’d never met any man sexier. Not even close. It was all so thrilling. He made her head spin.
She swallowed. “And what is this going on between us, exactly?”
“Hell, if I know, Holly. I’ve never felt this way before. It’s new territory for me.”
“You’ve never been with a woman before?” She sputtered.
He looked at her like she was nuts. “I’m a SEAL, sweetheart. Yes, I’ve been with…a few. But I don’t typically sleep with a woman the day I meet her.”
She cocked her head. “So, what are you saying?”
He shook his head. “That you make me crazy. Really, really crazy. I want to take care of you. Touch you. Kiss you all over. Massage away your sadness. Destroy your fears. Bury myself in you over and over and never come up for air. Shit, Holly, I feel like I’ve been searching for you my whole life, and here you are in freaking Alaska.”
Her heart puddled in her chest. “Oh.”
“Seriously? The woman who fires off three sentences per second says ‘oh’ to my heartfelt confession?”
“You’d better get used to it.” She rose up on her toes and nibbled on his chin. “I’ve got a lot of ohs where that one came from. I’d like to fire them off over and over, and as you so beautifully confessed, never come up for air. But first, there’s this issue with your pants.”
She cupped him with one hand and unzipped with the other.
He sucked in a sharp breath. “Are you sure? Once we start this, I’m all in.”
Was he nuts? Of course she was sure. “Let’s go all in. Please, Ty, I’ve never been in control before. Let me?”
“Okay, sweetheart, I’m yours.”
Did he mean for this moment, or forever? Did it matter?
Holly pulled his pants down and knelt before the most amazing specimen of man she’d ever seen.
Chapter Ten
‡
He did give her ample opportunity to walk away gracefully. But his sailor girl wasn’t walking. She gripped him by the balls and unzipped his pants like an expert. Holly was full of surprises. The lady had the beautiful openfaced expressions of a child, yet kept secrets close and tight to her chest. She walked ramrod straight like a beauty queen, still she didn’t mind getting dirty or fighting off a moose with her bare hands. She spoke her mind, thoroughly and exhaustingly, but refused to cuss. When he first tried to touch her, she had a panic attack. Now she gripped his bare ass and yanked him toward her as if she was starving for him. Holly Colton made his head swirl. He liked it.
With a greedy moan, she took him in her mouth, and he stopped thinking altogether. He closed his eyes and let the waves of pleasure roll over him. She swirled her tongue around his head. Electric lights shot behind his eyelids. Slowly, up and down she went, lighting forest fires in his veins. Gently she squeezed his balls with one hand while her wicked mouth kept working.
Shit, his sailor girl knew what she was doing. But if she didn’t stop, he’d be done. And he was nowhere near done.
He took her hand and gave her a tug. “Come with me.”
She pulled her wicked mouth away and grinned. “I can try, but I usually need a little somethin’-somethin’ to make that work.”
He shook his head. As if he could order her to orgasm on the spot. That wasn’t possible, was it? With Holly there was no telling. The woman had him thoroughly confused and twisted in knots. “No, sweetheart. I mean walk with me to the bed. Please. Or better yet…” He scooped her up in his arms.
“That’s not fair. I wasn’t finished with you yet.” She nibbled on his ear as he carried her.
Sweet hell. “I want you naked. Now.” He put her on the bed. Conan followed them as if he thought it was time for them all to go to sleep. “No, boy. Go fetch your own girl. This one is mine.”
“I like the way that sounds,” Holly purred.
He meant it. Holly had crawled under his skin like a delicious addiction. He longed to know everything about her, large and small. Time was the enemy here. Time was going to kick the shit out of him.
She pulled her soft sweater over her head and revealed even softer skin beneath. He couldn’t wait to touch her. She unhooked her sexy pink bra and tossed it on the closest chair. Her breasts were as beautiful as he’d imagined they’d be.
“Come over here, handsome.” She wiggled a finger at him.
He didn’t have to be told twice. He leaped onto the bed and caged her with his arms. “I’m here.” No place in the world he’d rather be. He held his ground, not moving, his pulse pounding in his ears. He wanted to take things slowly, make it last. Letting his gaze pour over her face, he drank her in—hooded eyes shimmering in anticipation, flushed cheeks, her breath coming fast through parted, delicious lips. She studied him too. The sexy smile told him she liked what she saw.
He kissed her deeply, keeping his eyes open to watch. He didn’t want to miss anything. Holy shit, she was a great kisser and the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. Was someone like her really in his arms? It was like kissing an angel with sinful lips. As those lips teased him senseless, her soft fingers went on a relentless search to touch his arms, shoulders, down his back. She seemed to enjoy rubbing her palms across his muscles. He enjoyed the way she explored his body like he was her own personal amusement park.
He could live with that. No, you can’t.
The idea hit him like a buried IED. This might be the one and only time he would get to make love to Holly. He couldn’t grapple with how bad that felt. He’d finally met a woman who touched him heart-to-heart. She was ferocious and vulnerable, open and closed, exquisite but not vain, gentle and sinful. No one had come close to his ideal mate before now. Holly was the full package. Fantastic to know she existed, yet horrible to know he couldn’t keep her. Here he was, kissing her for all he was worth, and missing her at the same time. It was FUBAR.
The only thing to do was turn this into one helluva goodbye kiss. They’d make memories here that might have to last him a long, long time. Just as he was getting to know her, he’d have to leave. If not tomorrow, soon.
“You’re not naked,” he growled against her neck.
She squirmed and giggled. Holly was ticklish. He filed that intel for future use. He nibbled her neck, liking the way she wiggled beneath him. Her hips bumped him just right. Dipping his tongue into the hollow of her neck, he traced a squiggle to her collarbone. Kissing, nipping, licking. He was taking his time, exploring the beautiful landscape beneath him.
“I thought you wanted me naked,” she sighed. Was anticipation driving her wild too? He hoped so.
“Mmm-hmmm. In a minute.”
When he took her nipple in his mouth, she gasped and arched her back to meet him. She tasted as sweet as the prickly pear cactus syrup Granny made.
“Oh, oh, Ty…”
He grinned. New mission—get her to give up as many “ohs” as he could. Ten, twenty? How many were possible? He took the other nipple in his mouth. As he sucked, he pressed his hand down her belly and under the waistband of her pants. He kneed her legs open.
“Tell me what you want,” he said with his lips around her nipple.
“Touch me, kiss me. Do everything.”
“Everything, huh? I’ll do my best.”
/> An exquisite moan came from her lips when he pressed his hand over her mound. She sucked in a sharp breath and nearly came off the bed when he pressed his thumb to her nub.
“Relax. I’m just getting started.” He pressed harder but didn’t move his thumb. Just held her there, taut with anticipation. “I’m going to make you come so many times.” He kissed her lips. “You’ll never forget me.”
She blinked at him. “How could I?”
He didn’t want to know. He forced his tongue inside her mouth and made tiny circles with his thumb. She raised her hips and cried out. He swallowed her “Oh…” and began working on the next one. He dipped his finger inside.
She panted, “Take off my pants, please. I want you in me now. I can’t wait.”
He was a good sailor who didn’t have to be told twice. He got off the bed, grabbed hold of her cuffs, and yanked the pants off with one swift move. Ah, all that was left was the pink lace he loved so much.
“Whoa, Houdini. I like these panties.” She lifted her hips and wiggled them off.
He stepped away to get a condom out of his pack.
“Where are you going? I’m dying over here,” she whined.
“Can’t have that.” He was ready. More than ready. He was dying too. Lowering himself on top of her, he pinned her in place and lost himself in her blue eyes.
“How do you want me?” He’d do anything and everything for her. All she needed to do was ask.
“A thousand different ways.” Tears welled in her eyes. “Goodness, Ty. The emotions I’m feeling…I’ve never felt like this about anyone.”
A lump lodged in his throat. Hell, he knew what she meant. This was more than sexual attraction, more than caring. He was falling for Holly and had no idea what he was going to do about it. He bent and kissed her with the feelings swirling through his head and pounding through his veins.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and matched him passion for passion. The other times they’d kissed were mind blowing, but this kiss was on a whole other level. No one had kissed him like that. Ever. He cupped her cheek and felt the tears on his palm. She was giving him everything she had to give, too.
