There was also a looming fear that had begun to stalk him. What if Lila came to harm at the hands of Malmuira? What if he lost her? Fear and grief constricted his heart at the thought. Their distance, as difficult as it was, needed to continue. Perhaps it was necessary to lessen his growing feelings for her.
He stood, forcing a coldness into his tone that he didn't feel.
“Leave me be,” he said, turning away to avoid seeing the hurt in her eyes. “I need tae be alone.”
Chapter 18
Lila returned to her chamber, hurt still piercing her at Gawen’s cold dismissal. It’s what you wanted, she reminded herself, blinking back a sting of tears. We each have our duty.
What she’d just learned about Sgaire was a step forward; she’d brought several items of his clothing back to perform Locator spells on. She should feel encouraged that she’d made some progress, not dejected. But she kept seeing the coldness in Gawen’s eyes, the exact opposite of the warmth that had shone in them when he’d held her in his arms.
It was difficult, but she focused on performing several spells on Sgaire’s personal items. If he was still working with Malmuira, the dark witch must have concealed his presence, because Lila’s spells gave her no sense of his current whereabouts.
Lila remained in her chamber for the rest of the day, stubbornly performing spell after spell, determined to make some progress. She even took her dinner alone in her chamber; it would be too difficult to face Gawen.
But her spells proved fruitless, and her eyes were heavy with fatigue when she finally shut the grimoire and crawled into bed, falling into an exhausted sleep.
When she awoke the next morning, it took a long moment for her to notice the letter on her side table. Her heart picked up its pace at the sight.
Lila scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping on her underdress to grab the letter. It was from Siobhan, she'd used a special Transport spell to send the letter to Lila through time.
Lila's heart sped up even more as she read Siobhan’s words; she pressed her hand to her mouth.
She was on her way out of the chamber before she’d even finished it.
* * *
Moments later, Lila sat opposite Gawen in his chamber as he read the letter. He wore nothing but a long, loose tunic; Lila realized with a flare of awareness that he must have slept naked and hastily pulled it on when she'd knocked on his door. Every masculine contour of his body was apparent beneath the loose clothing; the broad shoulders, the muscular torso, and an ache swelled within her at the memory of the thick hardness of him, now shielded beneath the length of his tunic.
She tore her eyes from his body and made herself focus on his face; his intense green eyes as he read the letter. Several emotions played across his handsome features as he read: astonishment, disbelief, and awe.
When he lowered the letter, it was with shaking hands. A long silence stretched between them as she waited for him to speak.
“I ken ye’re from a time that hasnae come tae pass,” he said finally, shifting startled green eyes toward her. “But it truly doesnae settle until I read letters such as this.”
Lila gave him a jerky nod, her gaze shifting to the letter in his hands. While Siobhan knew nothing of Malmuira, she had dug up monumental information on Kudan. Lila had already read it twice.
Two centuries from now, one of Kudan Munroe’s descendants, Enraig Munroe, will organize one of the bloodiest massacres in Scottish history. It will become known as the Bloody Feast of Nelkirk, in which twelve members of Clan McCaullum will be murdered by their hosts at a feast. This must be why Malmuira targeted Kudan.
It was the answer Lila had been looking for ever since she’d arrived in this time—why Malmuira was here. And now she knew what time period she was actually from. She could only guess that someone important to her must have died in that massacre.
Lila felt a small, fleeting stab of empathy. Wanting to prevent such a tragedy was understandable. What she couldn’t understand was killing innocents, begetting more death, more darkness. And for all the answers the letter had provided, Lila had even more questions now. If Kudan was the target, why had Malmuira killed those two farmers? Why had she spared Kudan?
“Who else is Kudan Munroe associated with?” Lila asked. “If Malmuira spared him, maybe she realized she made a mistake. Maybe she meant to target another family member of his. Is he married?"
“No,” Gawen replied, “but we can speak with members of his family, and I’ll put more guards on them.”
“I want to speak to him again,” Lila said. “We can’t let him know what’s going to happen, but we can find out what connections he may already have to this clan in the future—Clan McCaullum.”
* * *
They arrived at Kudan’s home just after midday. A pretty, young woman with dirty-blonde hair and wide-set, blue eyes opened the door, surprise flitting across her face at the sight of Gawen.
"Laird MacRaild," she said. "Was Kudan expecting ye?"
"No," Gawen replied, giving her an apologetic smile. "I'm here tae see how he's faring, Ysenda. Lila has skills as a healer, and she wanted tae come as well.”
He gestured to Lila; they'd decided this was the easiest way to explain Lila's presence.
Ysenda gave Lila a polite nod and stepped back to allow them to enter, her face flushing at Gawen’s kind smile. Lila wondered with a rush of possessiveness if he had this effect on every woman he met. Probably, she thought with an inward sigh. The man was sexier than sin; she couldn't have been the only one who'd noticed.
Still blushing, Ysenda let them into a large bedchamber, where Kudan sat propped up in bed. A tall, stocky man stood at his bedside; Gawen introduced him as Struan, Kudan's cousin and Ysenda's husband, which took Lila by surprise; Struan seemed much older than Ysenda.
Kudan was still pale, his arm heavily secured with a cloth bandage, but he looked better than when they’d last seen him.
"How are ye faring, Kudan?" Gawen asked.
"My arm is still a wee sore, but the healer says 'tis healing well," Kudan replied. "I thank ye for checking on me, my laird."
"All men of my clan are my responsibility," Gawen replied. He slid a glance toward Ysenda and Struan, giving them a polite smile edged with authority. "If ye donnae mind, Lila and I wish tae speak tae Kudan in private."
Ysenda and Struan obliged, leaving the chamber with polite nods. As Ysenda left, Lila noticed that she cast Kudan a lingering look. When she noticed Lila looking at her, she averted her gaze. A tendril of unease coiled around Lila’s spine, but she set the feeling aside as she joined Gawen at Kudan's bedside.
During the ride over, she’d given Gawen careful instructions as to what he could and could not say. Informing Kudan of future events that affected his family could result in him trying to change things, which would only cause a disastrous domino effect.
She watched, her heart hammering, as Gawen asked Kudan if he or any of his family members planned to leave the Isle of Skye.
At the question, Kudan stiffened, hesitating for a long moment.
“No,” Kudan said, not looking at Gawen. “Skye is my home.”
Kudan was a terrible liar. Gawen seemed to realize the same, holding his gaze.
“’Tis nae a crime if ye do,” he said. “I’m just trying tae determine why ye were targeted.”
There was another long pause, and Kudan swallowed hard.
“I donnae ken why,” he said.
Lila studied Kudan, wondering what he was hiding, and if this was the key to figuring out why Malmuira had targeted him. Gawen expelled a sigh and stood.
“If there’s anything ye wish tae inform me—anything that can help—ye ken where tae find me.”
As they rode away from Kudan's home, frustration swelled within her. Kudan was hiding something from them, she was certain, but she didn’t know how they’d get him to confess. And there was that lingering sense of unease about Ysenda. There was something . . . off about the woman, something that she couldn
’t place.
“Kudan is lying,” Lila told him in a low voice, once they’d arrived back at the castle and made their way inside.
“Aye,” Gawen agreed. “I’ll have my men keep close watch on him.”
“What do you know about Ysenda?” she pressed.
“She's the daughter of a Highland noble, recently wed tae Kudan's cousin Struan.” He stopped as they reached the base of the winding stairs, frowning down at her. “Ye donnae think she has anything tae do with Malmuira?”
“No. I don't think so. But I . . . sensed something off about her—something that I can’t quite place.”
Another surge of frustration swelled. Witches tended to be perceptive; she should be better at determining what rankled her about Ysenda. Gawen seemed to read her thoughts, reaching out to take her hand. His touch caused her heart to do a somersault in her chest, and a sizzling heat scorched her skin.
“If Ysenda—and Kudan—are hiding something, we’ll learn what it is,” he said gently.
His hand lingered as his green eyes probed hers, an unmistakable need flaring in their depths. But he blinked, and the charged moment came to an end.
Gawen gave her a curt nod and ascended the stairs, leaving her behind with that ever-present need for him; a need she suspected would never dissipate.
Chapter 19
Remnant desire still lingered within Gawen as he entered his private study moments after leaving Lila. He was failing at all attempts to remain detached from her. Just the mere act of touching her hand had set his senses aflame. He sat down by the fireplace, taking a long swig of ale and ordering the hovering servant to send for Aonghus.
“I need ye tae put a man on Kudan; I think he’s hiding something,” he said moments later, after Aonghus entered his study.
“Ye think he’s a traitor?” Aonghus asked in disbelief, raising his eyebrows. “He was injured by Malmuira.”
“No,” he said. “But there is something he’s keeping from me. I need tae ken what it is.”
Aonghus studied him with lingering curiosity but didn’t press, leaving him with a nod to carry out his order. Gawen turned back to gaze into the flames that blazed in the fireplace. What could Kudan be hiding from him?
He distracted himself from disturbing thoughts of Kudan by meeting with his guards who were patrolling the lands and who’d searched the area after Kudan’s attack; none had seen anything suspicious. Setting aside his frustration, he spent the rest of the day locked in his study, reviewing rent records and land deeds. By the time evening fell, his eyes stung from reading the stacks of parchment by firelight. He pushed aside the last piece of parchment, rubbing his eyes, anticipation filling him at the thought of seeing Lila at the feast.
When he entered the great hall, his eyes swept the room for Lila. He didn’t see her, and to his annoyance Achdara immediately took the seat at his side. Lila entered moments later, going still at the sight of Achdara, but made her way to the far end of the table where she took a seat.
He forced himself to make polite conversation with both Achdara and the noble who sat at his other side during the feast, trying to keep his eyes off Lila. When the musicians began to play midway during the feast, another surge of annoyance coursed through him as Aonghus moved to Lila, murmuring something in her ear. She smiled, that smile that was both infectious and incandescent, taking Aonghus’s hand and moving to the center of the hall.
Gawen clenched his jaw as he watched his steward swirl her around. Aonghus murmured something in Lila’s ear which made her toss her head back and laugh. Jealousy pierced him; he told himself that Aonghus knew he and Lila had been lovers, and he would never cross such a line with her. Yet this knowledge didn’t stop the acrid taste of bitterness in his mouth.
"Do ye like my gown, my laird?" Achdara asked, trying to draw his attention back to her. "Ye used tae like this one verrae much."
He reluctantly tore his gaze away from Lila to focus on Achdara, glancing with disinterest at the gown she wore. It was a forest-green gown with a low-cut bodice that she’d kept trying to draw his attention to. When he’d considered courting her, he had liked the gown on her, but he now realized that the mild interest he'd once felt toward her was but a trace of the fiery desire he felt toward Lila. As he studied Achdara, he now wondered how he'd found her cold, austere looks pleasing to the eye. Lila was warmth, joy, and laughter, a burst of light that had rid him of the shadows of his grief. And God, how he missed her.
Achdara must have taken note of the disinterest in his eyes, because her expression hardened, her gaze sweeping to Lila. There was no mistaking the jealousy that tightened her features.
"Is she yer mistress now, my laird?" she asked coolly. "I should have kent the Sassenach would behave like a common whore. With the way she's dancing with Aonghus—”
"Ye'll not speak of her that way.” The growl that tore from his throat made Achdara go pale, and she swallowed. "She's my guest. I'll have ye removed from my side if ye continue tae insult her, Lady McNabb.”
His use of her married name was purposeful. Hurt flickered in her eyes and she lowered her head.
"I will take my leave, my laird. I didnae intend tae cause ye any offence."
She reached out to place her hand on his arm, and he looked down at it with irritation. A mere touch of Lila's hand on his flesh filled him with heat, Achdara's left him cold. She dropped her hand.
“I bid ye good night, my laird.”
As Achdara walked away, he turned his focus back to Lila. She and Aonghus had finished their dance, and she was now looking right at him, a hardness in her lovely eyes as Aonghus escorted her back to her seat; she must have seen Achdara touch him. A part of him was delighted at her obvious jealousy, though he tried to communicate with his eyes that Achdara meant nothing to him, that her touch left him cold, but Lila had already averted her gaze.
Aonghus took Achdara’s vacant seat, giving him a teasing grin.
"Ye looked like ye wanted tae murder me just now," he said cheerfully. "I've never seen ye so jealous over a lass. 'Tis quite amusing."
A denial sprang to his lips about being jealous, but he couldn’t speak the lie. He'd felt possessive over Lila even before he'd taken her innocence, and despite his knowledge of what she was and where—when—she was truly from, he couldn't help but consider her his.
"Then ye'll take care nae tae dance with her going forward," he said, his scowl deepening, but this seemed to only amuse Aonghus more.
“I ken ye care for the lass,” Aonghus said, as Lila stood to leave the hall. He wanted to follow but watched her go, with a pang.
"It doesnae matter," Gawen said, tearing his gaze away from her retreating form. "She has her duty, and I have mine.”
"Gawen." Aonghus's tone turned serious. “Ye've done nothing but focus on yer duties as laird since yer family died. 'Tis nae a sin tae enjoy some happiness, however brief it may be."
Aonghus gave him a long look before another noble pulled him into conversation, and Gawen mulled over his words. He’d focused on his duties to keep from drowning in his grief. But since Lila’s arrival, his grief had dissipated. It was still there, as he suspected it would always be, but it wasn’t as stark as it had once been.
When Gawen headed to his chamber later, he made a decision. Aonghus was right; he wanted to bask in the light of Lila’s presence for as long as she was here. Gawen wanted a bit of happiness before he returned to a life of duty; they would just have to not lose focus of tracking down Malmuira.
Now he just had to get his Lila to open up to him again. A lightness filled him at the thought as he entered his chamber. He would see her on the morrow after tending to his duties and ask if she wanted to go for a ride.
Smiling at the thought, he froze at the sight that greeted him when he entered his chamber.
Achdara sat on the edge of his bed, clad in a loose underdress that she’d lowered to reveal her breasts, her golden hair flowing freely around her shoulders. Fury filled him, and he opene
d his mouth to demand that she leave at once, when he heard a sharp gasp behind him.
He whirled. Lila stood in his doorway, her face drained of color, the devastation plain on her features as she took in Achdara.
"Lila—” he began, but she'd already fled from his chamber. The look of triumph on Achdara's face made his fury burn even brighter.
"Get out," he hissed. “Ye are tae leave the castle at once. I'll have my guard escort ye tae yer manor."
“Gawen—” Achdara protested, her triumph vanishing.
“Get out of my castle,” he repeated, turning on his feet to follow the only woman he cared for. The only woman he needed.
Chapter 20
Hot tears stung Lila's eyes as she stumbled back to her chamber. The sight of Gawen with Achdara had torn her heart in two. She kept telling herself that it was none of her business, that the night they'd shared would be the only thing that ever happened between them and she had no claim over him, yet that didn't stop the jealousy, the heartache.
She'd gone to his chamber under the pretense of asking him if they could question Kudan to uncover what he was hiding. In reality, she’d just wanted an excuse to be alone with him; she missed him more than she should. But the sight of him with Achdara . . .
"Lila."
She stiffened at the sound of his voice behind her and whirled, anger and jealousy gnawing at her belly.
"I didn't mean to interrupt you and your mistress," she said tightly. "I apologize for—“
She stopped with a gasp as he crossed the chamber in several long strides, reaching out to gently grip her by the arms.
"Achdara snuck intae my chamber. I didnae ken she was there. I just sent her away from the castle. I donnae want Achdara. All I've been able tae think about is ye. Only ye. I’d just decided that I missed ye—needed ye—tae much tae stay away. Do ye ken how jealous I was watching ye dance with Aonghus? How I wanted tae tear him apart with my bare hands—a man who's like a brother tae me? Achdara, nor any lass, has ever caused me such jealousy. I only want ye, Lila," he rasped. "And damn me, I ken what we agreed. But I cannae stay away."
Gawen's Claim: Highlander Fate, Lairds of the Isles Book One Page 11
