by Wendy Smith
“I mean, you had some bad luck. Including that last great catch.”
Rolling my eyes, I pour the water and grab the milk out of the fridge, turning his coffee a light brown shade. “She seemed alright, at first.”
“It’s not like you ever let us spend much time getting to know her.”
I place the coffee on the table and sit. “You should be glad of that. She probably would have found a way to pick your pocket and fleece you, too.”
“That bad, huh?”
I nod. “My own laziness in calling off a relationship that was wasn’t really one bit me in the arse. It might have been fun at the start, but that didn’t really last long.” Smiling, I take a sip of my coffee. “What I’ve got with Hayley is nothing like that. She’s amazing.”
“When’s she moving to the city?”
My heart sinks. It does every time I think about it because I feel as if I’m being unreasonable not wanting to move. But the reality is that there’s nothing in Copper Creek for me other than Hayley, and if we’re in the city, I can give her the world. “I don’t know about that. It’s a big move, and she’s happy here.”
“From the looks of the smile on her face, you make her happy.”
I let out a sigh. “I hope that’s enough.”
“She’s a great girl. I did try to chat her up, but she’s not interested in me.”
Frowning, I glare at my brother. “When?”
He shrugs. “Quite a few times during the past four years. She’s not a hermit, and you know I flirt with anyone who comes into the bakery.”
Rolling my eyes, I take a sip of my coffee. “She knew better than to go near your dick. It’s been around the block a few times.”
Owen chuckles. “That just means it’s more experienced.”
“You keep telling yourself that while I get the perfect girl.”
“Am I interrupting something?” Hayley emerges from the living room with a smirk on her face, clad in that T-shirt of mine she stole and never gave back. With her tousled hair, she’s still got that just-fucked look about her, and it makes me want to throw Owen out and start all over again.
“I was just telling Owen if he didn’t overshare, he might have a chance with someone like you.”
She waggles her eyebrows as she leans over to kiss me. “I’m not making that call.”
“See? Hayley knows the deal.” Owen laughs.
“I wasn’t complimenting you,” she says as she sits on my lap and grabs my coffee cup out of my hand. I loop one arm around her waist and pull her tight against me.
“If you’re up for it today, we could go and see Mum and Dad,” I say, resting my head on her back.
“You’re brave.” Owen snorts and takes another sip of his coffee.
“Dad’s alright. Mum I can deal with.”
Hayley takes a sip of my coffee. “They can’t be any worse than my parents.”
“Wanna bet?” Owen grins. “Drew’s right. Dad will love you just because you’re you. Mum will treat you like you’re the devil’s whore.”
“Owen,” I growl.
“It’s true. I’m just warning her.”
Hayley shrugs. “I guess I have to meet them sometime. Now’s as good as later.”
Introducing Hayley to my parents is something I feel I need to do, given how serious I am about her.
At the same time, it scares the shit out of me.
“Drew.”
Dad’s in the backyard when we get to the house, and he beams the biggest smile ever at me.
“Hey, Dad.”
“I didn’t know you were home.” He flicks a look at Hayley, and his eyebrows twitch, like she looks familiar.
“I’m going back tonight. I just wanted to bring Hayley to meet you before I left.”
He smiles again and holds out his hand to her. “Hi, Hayley. It’s nice to meet you, but I get the feeling I’ve seen you before.”
“I live in Copper Creek, so I’ll have been around the shops from time to time.”
“That must be it.”
“Is Mum about?”
He sighs. “She’s inside. The last few days have been rough. We need to go back to see the oncologist again, and we’re not expecting good news, but don’t you dare tell her I told you.”
“Oncologist?” Hayley asks.
I lick my lips. “Mum has breast cancer. She had a mastectomy maybe eighteen months ago, if that, and chemo, but it looks like it’s come back.”
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”
Turning to catch her gaze, I see the hurt in her eyes. My girl is such a big sweetheart, and I love her for it. “Let’s get inside and see her.”
Mum’s sitting in a recliner in the living room, and she keeps a straight face as she looks Hayley up and down.
“Mum, this is Hayley.”
“I thought you were with that other one,” Mum says.
“Lucy and I broke up a while ago. I met Hayley at Adam’s place.”
She nods, still not giving in to a smile.
“It’s so nice to meet you.” Hayley’s already won Dad over; the warmth in his eyes makes that obvious. Mum was always going to be a tougher nut to crack.
“How about I make us all a coffee?” Dad nods toward us, and I follow his lead and guide Hayley through to the couch. Mum watches, her judgemental eyes fixed on Hayley’s back.
“Are you from the city?” Mum asks as we sit.
Hayley nods. “Originally. I was born in Auckland and grew up there, but I’ve spent the last four years living in Copper Creek.”
“What brought you here?” Mum’s almost being pleasant, but she’s still in interrogation mode. Hopefully it won’t be long before Dad interrupts.
“I’m a community midwife.”
“And you enjoy living here?”
Hayley smiles. “It’s lovely.”
“My son works in the city. He’d stagnate in a place like this. Are you moving to be with him?”
I roll my eyes. “Mum, that’s a work-in-progress. We haven’t been together that long.”
“Long-distance relationships never succeed. That’s why I’m asking.”
Hayley links her fingers in mine.
“Well, Mum, we both want to make this work,” I say.
She shakes her head. “It’s all well and good wanting it. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
This was a mistake. Why did I ever think bringing Hayley here was a good idea? Sure, she had to meet my parents sometime, but the worse Mum’s health is, the more bitter she gets.
Hayley shifts slightly, and the tension’s clear in her face. She already has issues with the distance. Mum’s not exactly helping.
“Dad says you need to go and see the oncologist again,” I say, trying to steer the conversation in another direction.
“I’m not discussing that right now.” Mum shoots a pointed look at Hayley, and I cringe inside.
“Coming here was a mistake,” I say.
“Here we go.” Dad arrives in the doorway with a tray of mugs, a bottle of milk and a bowl of sugar. He places it on the coffee table and sits in the recliner next to Mum. Maybe he can rescue this. He beams at Hayley. “So, Hayley, is your family in Copper Creek?”
Hayley shakes her head, and it gives me a sense of relief that Dad’s at least keeping the conversation going and upbeat. “My parents are in Auckland.”
“What do they do?” Dad asks.
I reach for her hand and squeeze it, and she shoots me a smile. “Dad’s a businessman. Mum does all kinds of things.”
Dad smiles. “What brought you here?”
“Work. I had enough of the pressure of the big city, and Copper Creek is the pace I need.”
Mum snorts. Dad wriggles in his seat.
“There’s no future for Drew in this town. He spent too many years training to give up his work,” Mum says.
“I know,” Hayley says quietly.
“I’m sure Drew and Hayley will do what they need to do,” Dad says.
“I’m right here, Mum.” No wonder Adam has nothing to do with her. I can’t let her treat Hayley like this.
“Just stop it. We’re adults and we’re working through the complications that come with a long-distance relationship. Hell, when it comes down to it, it’s not like we’re living in different countries.”
Hayley grips my hand, and I long to see the light back in her eyes. My mother appears to have extinguished it.
“I’m just looking out for you,” Mum says.
“I can look after myself.”
Dad sits there silent. He’s useless sometimes, but I guess he cops the worst of it, especially now she’s ill.
My family is so screwed up.
Hayley’s quiet all the way back to her place, and my chest aches at the thought that I’ll be leaving shortly.
“Hey.” I pull her into my arms as soon as we get in the door, and she leans her head on my chest. I stroke her face until hot tears roll down the back of my hand. “Don’t cry.”
“I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispers. “What if your mother’s right, and it all falls apart?”
I lace my fingers in her hair, running a thumb over her cheek.
“We’ll cross that bridge if and when we come to it. Don’t overthink it, babe. Let’s make the most of the times we are together and just have phone sex in between.”
She gives me a small smile, not the laugh I’d hoped for. For a moment, she closes her eyes and tears roll down her cheeks again. “It’s the in-between bits. I know you haven’t pushed me, but I’m feeling the pressure of needing to move for this to work. It took me so long to feel like my life was sorted, and now it all seems to be up in the air again.”
“It doesn’t have to be. The distance is driving me insane, but I’ll put up with it for as long as I have to.”
She licks her lips and swallows hard. “I don’t know if I can.”
She’s breaking up with me. “I’m sorry about my mother. She can be awful at the best of times, and her illness isn’t an excuse. She was like that before.”
Hayley shakes her head. “It’s not your mother. I’m sure sometimes she’s perfectly lovely.”
“Then what is it? I know the distance is getting you down, but we’ll work that out.”
More tears spill down her face, and she focuses blue eyes filled with sadness on me. “I can’t take the distance, Drew. It’s not fair that the one person I want to be with, that I want to love, is so far away, and I can’t do anything about it.”
“Then move in with me,” I whisper.
“Your mother’s being protective of you. I never had that luxury. This is where I found my peace, and I don’t know if I can give that up, for my own sanity.”
I gulp. “So, what are you saying?”
“That I don’t think this is going to work. I’m already dealing with abandonment issues, and you’re three hundred kilometres away.”
“Is this you saying it’s not you, it’s me?”
She nods, and my heart shatters into a billion pieces. “I met you right after you broke up with Lucy. What if this is just a rebound thing for you? Do I give up everything I worked so hard for?”
“No. This is not a rebound thing. What I feel for you is bigger than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone.”
“Maybe.”
I want to tell her I love her, but I also want her not to feel pressured into committing to something she can’t deal with. I’ve never been in this position before, and I have no clue what to do.
“I’ll go.” I say the words quietly as I don’t want to make a scene. She’s in agony, and I can’t relieve her pain. I knew from the start this would be tough for her, but we tried, and now this hurts so much.
Hayley nods, and I bend to kiss her cheek, breathing her in one last time.
“Call me if you change your mind.”
Her eyes are full of tears, and I’d give anything to throw my career away and stay with her. But I can’t. Not if I want to build the future we might still need.
With my heart breaking, I grab my things and make my way out to the car. I look back at her little house, but there’s no sign of her at the window, and for a moment I grip the steering wheel to stop myself shaking.
It can’t be over.
18
Adam
I thought the worst was behind me.
It’s not.
I gave in two days ago and stashed a bottle of bourbon in a kitchen cupboard. Lily has enough on her plate with Rose not sleeping well. She doesn’t need the stress of me struggling. And I am.
Ben visits me more at night as it gets closer to the anniversary of his death. I just hope that after that date, it eases off.
Maybe it’s guilt that drives the dreams. I spent so long wishing it was me who died that day instead of him. Me, who had nothing to live for at that stage while he had everything.
Maybe it’s that now I have the life he longed for—the steady love of a good woman, and children. He was so close to being a father for the first time, and that was a role he couldn’t wait for.
Maybe it’s just because I miss him.
He would have had so many words to say about me being back here. Ben was my person, the one I poured my soul out to. He knew how much pain I was in when I thought Lily had left me, and he knew how hard I fought myself to stay away from town.
My heart’s in my throat when I think about him and how much he would have loved this place. He would have adored Lily and Max, and been happy for me.
The thought of that leaves me feeling even guiltier.
This time it’s a little after midnight, and I seek Jenna out. She was the first person to help me; maybe she can do it again.
I hesitate as I hold my mouse over the message button. This feels like a betrayal, even if I’m not up to anything. Lily would be hurt. But I also don’t want Lily to have to worry about me when she’s still dealing with having a new baby.
Rose isn’t the best sleeper, and I help as much as I can, but the days are as long as some nights for Lily. The garage is so busy, it’s hard to find time to help her as well.
I click the button.
I need help.
The reply is almost instant.
What can I do?
I’m having more dreams again, and I’m worried it’ll impact my relationship with Lily. I’ve already hurt her by mistake.
Those little dots appear, and my stomach clenches at the thought of turning to my ex for help.
Hurt her how?
My brother shot a possum and the gunshot caught me by surprise. I pushed her to the floor to protect her.
Shit. Okay. Do you have someone to talk to over there?
I sigh.
I don’t know if there’s anyone close who can help. That’s the worst part of living in a small town.
It’s not a good idea to talk to me.
I know.
Where exactly are you? I know I’m far away, but maybe I can find someone.
I let out a loud breath.
I’m in Copper Creek. There’s a slightly bigger town about fifty kilometres away called Carlstown.
Okay. I’ll see what I can drum up. I’m not sure if I can help, but you know I’ll try.
I nod. Of course she will. I might have hurt her deeply, but Jenna’s a good person.
“Adam?”
I turn. Lily stands behind me. “What are you doing?”
“Catching up with an old friend.” I should tell her, but I’m worried about upsetting her unnecessarily.
“Come back to bed. I’ve got something for you.”
I grin. “What’s that?”
She peels back her bathrobe, revealing her naked body underneath. Her breasts are full and firm, having grown in size during pregnancy. Lily’s never been more beautiful.
“Are you sure?”
“It’s time.”
I lick my
lips, more than ready to reacquaint myself with her body, but there’s something I need to do first. “I’ll just finish this. I’ll be two seconds.”
“What is it?”
I swallow. “I’m asking Jenna for help with something.”
“Jenna? As in, ex-girlfriend Jenna?”
I nod.
Lily’s eyes convey her hurt.
“Lil, she has contacts, and she might be able to find someone here I can go to for help.”
“You didn’t think you could talk to me?”
I run my fingers through my hair, and she crosses her bathrobe again, tying it closed.
“You’ve just got so much on your plate. Having a baby, then I lost it in the kitchen. She friend-requested me on Facebook one night and messaged me, and we’ve had one conversation.”
She swallows hard, and tears run down her cheeks. I’ve hurt her.
“It hurts that you would keep this from me.”
“I never intended to.”
Shifting her gaze to the ceiling and away from me, she sniffs. “I told you we needed to trust each other, but it feels like you broke that promise.”
I shake my head. “Lily, I wouldn’t do anything to make you lose your faith in me. I swear. We had one conversation, and she asked me about my family and saw my photos. That’s it.”
“And then she’s the one you ran to when you needed help.”
I close my eyes. It’s true. Lily should be my first port of call, no matter what. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
When I open my eyes, she’s taken a step back. I reach for her, but she pulls away. What the hell was I thinking? Lily’s so much stronger than she realises, but I’ve hurt her at a time when she’s particularly vulnerable. She’s just shown me that vulnerability in coming to me and revealing her post-birth body, which, knowing how self-conscious she can be, must have been tough, and I admitted to turning to someone else for help.
I love her with all of my being.
“How long have you been messaging Jenna on Facebook?” Lily’s tone is pained, and I can’t bear to hear it.
“She messaged me. And I replied to be polite. Not for any other reason.”
All Lily’s insecurities surface. She’s fought so hard for everything in her life, and here I am wanting to make her life easier in some ways, but just making things worse. “Are you sure?”
