Martha glanced between Jude and Elizabeth. “Did you...?”
Jude looked away from Elizabeth. “I told Elizabeth everything last night.”
Martha nodded slowly, her keen gaze assessing the situation. “Do you think Violet will want to go?”
“I’ll ask her this evening, but I don’t see why not.”
“It’s probably for the best,” Martha said, going back to her biscuit dough.
“I have some correspondence to see to.” Jude pet Edgar one more time and patted Rose’s head, then he pushed through the swinging door and disappeared.
Elizabeth let out the breath she’d been holding and looked down at her potato. She started to peel once again, though her thoughts were not on supper anymore.
Martha didn’t say anything for a few moments, but then she wiped her hands on her apron and grabbed her roller.
“So now you know everything,” Martha said.
“I do.”
“And what are you thinking?”
Elizabeth glanced at Rose, who sat preoccupied with the kitten.
“I’m not sure what I’m thinking.”
“Are you disappointed in Jude?”
Was she? She hated to think of what he used to be, but she couldn’t fault him for what he had become. “No.”
“Did you ask him to send Violet on her way?”
Elizabeth stopped peeling, shame and guilt lying heavy on her conscience. “I did.”
Martha nodded. “I thought so.” There was no censure in her voice, just understanding. “I think she’ll be happy in St. Cloud. Maybe she’ll gain a bit more confidence under Mrs. Swisshelm’s lead.”
Elizabeth’s shoulders stooped. “I feel awful. I reacted without thinking and I probably hurt Jude and Violet in the process.”
“Probably.” Again, her voice held no blame. “But it will all work out, you’ll see.” She patted Elizabeth’s hand. “Now don’t fret, lovey. Sometimes we make mistakes, but we get second chances every day. Everything will be just fine.”
Elizabeth wished she had Martha’s confidence.
* * *
A week later, Jude rode home after dropping Violet off in St. Cloud, about thirty miles south of Little Falls. She had seemed eager to start working for Mrs. Swisshelm and be done with cleaning rooms. Jude asked that she write from time to time so they knew how she was doing. Some of his favorite letters were from the women he’d helped liberate.
The Wood’s Trail spread out before Jude with the Mississippi River to his left and a wooded thicket to his right, the leaves gone from the trees after the locust invasion. Humidity hung in the air and mosquitos buzzed around his head. His mood was sour and his thoughts jumbled.
He and Elizabeth had barely spoken since she learned about his past. They had kept a cool distance between them, speaking only when necessary. He was relieved that she finally knew the truth—yet he missed her. His heart still beat faster when she entered a room and he looked for her when he hadn’t seen her in a while. Some nights he couldn’t sleep, knowing she was only a few doors down the hallway, yet unreachable.
Abram’s sawmill came into view, and activity in the millpond reminded Jude of the day he’d rescued Rose from the log. Over the past few weeks, he had come to enjoy the little girl more and more. Every morning they played with Edgar in the kitchen while Martha and Elizabeth cooked breakfast. In the evenings, he had taught her how to play checkers and she taught him games like Hot and Cold, Who Has the Penny and others he’d never played as a child. He found it hard to say no to her, but more than that, he loved seeing life through her innocent eyes.
Jude rode up Main Street and took a left on Broadway. He drove to the middle of the block and pulled the wagon into the alley behind the Northern Hotel. The thought of seeing Elizabeth again and yet not being able to fully enjoy her presence made him want to turn around and find somewhere else to go. But he had a pile of correspondence to see to. His request for assistance from the territorial legislature had been approved and they had asked for a representative to come to St. Paul to purchase the seeds and grain being granted to the Little Falls residents. Jude had been named the Little Falls representative. The letter he needed to write would let the legislature know when he planned to go to St. Paul.
Jude unhitched the wagon and rubbed down his horses, then he went into the kitchen.
“Mr. Jude!” Rose had been crouching by Edgar’s box, but she jumped up when he entered the kitchen. “You’re back in time.”
“In time for what?” He picked up Edgar and ran his hand over the soft fur. The kitten purred in response.
“For my picnic.” She raced over to the worktable, where Martha stood filling a basket with food.
“You’re going on a picnic?”
“Yes. Lizzie said she has time today.” Rose’s eyes sparkled with anticipation. “Will you come, too?”
Go on a picnic with Elizabeth? The thought was at once appealing and disconcerting.
“Who else is going?”
“Just you and me and Lizzie!” Rose’s braids swung as she turned in a circle.
How would he say no to her? He hated to see her upset, yet he couldn’t spend that much time with Elizabeth.
“Oh, go on with you, Jude,” Martha said as she wrapped a sandwich in a clean cloth. “It’s just a wee bit of a request.” She winked. “And I’ve put in some of my dried-apple pie that you love.”
Elizabeth entered the kitchen as she finished tying the bonnet ribbon under her chin. She wore a pretty new dress that fit her snugly at the waist and had belled sleeves. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes shining. “Are you ready?” she asked Rose, pausing when she spotted Jude.
He nodded once, wishing his senses didn’t become so alive when he saw her.
“Mr. Jude is coming!” Rose jumped up and down and clapped.
Elizabeth looked at Jude, her eyes growing a bit wider. “You’re coming?”
Rose took his hand and tugged him to the door. “Grab the basket, Lizzie.”
Elizabeth didn’t move for a moment. Was she wondering how she could get out of being with him?
“I’ll grab the basket,” Jude said.
Martha closed it tight and nudged it toward him. “Have fun, lovey.”
“Come, Lizzie.” Rose pulled on Jude’s hand once again and led him to the door.
“We’ll be back as soon as possible to help with supper preparations,” Elizabeth told Martha. “Grace is at the front counter and I changed the linen in room number eleven.”
“Go on.” Martha pushed Elizabeth out of the kitchen. “We’ll be just fine without you for a couple hours.”
The three of them walked out the back door and into the alley.
Elizabeth faced forward, hiding her features behind the brim of her bonnet.
“Where are we going?” Jude asked Rose.
“To the river.” Rose took one of Jude’s hands and one of Elizabeth’s and pulled them toward the north.
The river was only two blocks away and they soon came to the banks. Grass had begun to grow again and a slew of wildflowers had popped up along the edge of the water. Pink and purple blossoms nodded on the breeze. A mama duck must have sensed their approach, because she led her ducklings away from the banks out into the open water.
“Look,” Rose said, pointing to the ducks. Her giggle was infectious and Jude smiled.
Elizabeth stood facing the river. The gentle wind rippled the skirt of her gown and tossed her brown tendrils of hair against her cheeks. From this angle, he could see the reflection of the river in the blue of her eyes.
“I’ll lay out our picnic,” she offered.
“And I’ll pick flowers to enjoy while we eat.” Rose skipped toward the patch of flowers.
“Don’t go too far,” Eli
zabeth warned. “And stay away from the water’s edge.”
“I will.” Rose wandered off a little way and Jude set the basket on the ground.
Elizabeth opened it and pulled out a cloth, which she laid over the grass.
Jude knelt beside her and pulled each item out of the basket to hand to her.
They worked in silence for a few minutes, each tense with words unspoken. He didn’t know what to say. He’d told her the truth and she’d responded exactly how he thought she would.
“I’m sorry, Jude.” She sat back on her heels, her gaze searching his. “I’m sorry for the way I behaved the night you told me about your...past. And I’m sorry about Violet, too.”
Her words were so heartfelt and so laced with regret, he paused for a moment and just stared at her.
“I hope—” She stopped and took a deep breath. “I hope we can still be friends. I do admire you for what you’ve done for Violet and the others. It just took some getting used to.”
“Do you mean that?”
“I behaved poorly, but my pride was in the way and that’s why it took so long to apologize.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
“For what?”
“For keeping it from you.”
“But I know why you did. You were afraid I’d tell you to stop.”
“And now?” He waited for her to answer, afraid of what she’d say.
“Now I understand why you do what you do.”
“You don’t have a problem if another woman needs a place to live and work?”
She looked off toward the river and glanced in Rose’s direction. It was clear she was struggling with her answer. Finally she met his gaze, though her eyes weren’t filled with the conviction and assurance he had hoped. “It’s your hotel, so do what you think is best.”
“If you’re still here after January, what then?”
“It will still be your hotel—at least part of it—and you can do as you’d like.”
He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her how much he appreciated her cooperation, but instead, he sat where he was and smiled. “Thank you.”
She nodded and rearranged the plates on the blanket, though they didn’t need to be rearranged.
Dare he say what he hoped? “I’d like us to be friends, too, Elizabeth.”
Her gaze came up to meet his and this time there was reassurance in her eyes. “Good.”
Rose ran back to the blanket, her hands full of wildflowers, and chatted away about the river and the butterflies and all the waterfowl playing along the banks.
Jude and Elizabeth listened and laughed, brimming with the cautious expectation of forgiveness and the joy of a child.
Was this what it felt like to be part of a loving family?
He inhaled a sweet breath of fresh air, thankful for a new beginning with Elizabeth and a chance to experience family—even if it wasn’t his family and it couldn’t last forever.
Chapter Fifteen
A moonless night hung around Jude and Ben like a dark shroud. It was their first shift on the vigilance committee and they were both aware of the stories the others had shared about their run-ins with Hugh’s gang. Two men had gone out on watch every night, and every night they went home reporting vandalism, theft and violence.
Jude and Ben rode their horses at a slow canter going up and down each street and alley. It had to be well past two o’clock, but all was still and quiet. There had not been any disturbance from the gang, only a group of teenage boys who had been smoking behind the livery stable. They’d rebuked the rascals and sent them home, but that had been the extent of their work for the evening.
A long night stretched ahead and Jude was determined to use his time to talk some sense into Ben about Elizabeth. His friend knew him well enough that he didn’t have to make small talk. “Are you going to get serious about Elizabeth?”
Ben looked around the alley, appearing to be in no hurry to answer. “I tried. She wasn’t interested.”
“When will you get a little backbone where women are concerned?”
“Backbone?” Ben turned to Jude. “It has nothing to do with backbone. I’m honoring her wishes and keeping a respectable distance.”
Jude snorted. “If I was interested in her, and I saw she had even the slightest interest in me, I’d pursue her.”
“You don’t think she has the slightest interest in you?”
“Of course not. How could she be interested in a man like me?”
“And what kind of man is that?”
A noise came from behind the bank and both men pulled up on their reins to stop their mounts. Jude held his breath as he listened for another sound.
A cat jumped off a barrel and raced down the opposite end of the alley.
Jude let out his breath and noticed Ben sat more loosely on his horse.
They continued down the alley and finally Ben said, “Are you going to answer my question?”
Jude looked over the shadows, his eyes alert and his ears attuned to every noise. “I told Elizabeth about my past. All of it.”
“So?”
“So, how could I expect a woman like Elizabeth to be interested in a man like me?”
Ben pulled on his reins again, drawing his horse to a stop. “The way I see it, we all have things in our pasts we’re not proud of.”
Jude stopped Lady and faced Ben.
“We all need Christ’s forgiveness,” Ben continued, “or He would have never come. You’re no different than me, or any other man for that matter.”
“You aren’t the child of a prostitute.”
“No, I’m not. My father was a French fur trader with a wife and family in Montreal. My mother was the daughter of an Indian guide who worked with my father along the Mississippi. My father loved my mother, but after she died, he went back to his family in Montreal and he brought me to live with a missionary at Pokegama. I’ve never seen him since and I suspect he’s never told his family about me.”
Jude frowned. He’d never heard Ben’s story before.
“So how are we any different?” Ben asked. “Both of us are from ill-begotten relationships.”
“But you didn’t perpetuate your father’s sin by owning a brothel.”
“No, I didn’t, but I struggled for many years with being abandoned by my father and I rebelled against the missionary’s message. I did things I’m not proud of in that time, just as you did. But by the grace of God, I was forgiven and set free from my past. The same as you. What the enemy intended for evil, God has used for good.”
Jude had lived with the idea that he wasn’t good enough to ever enjoy the love of a wife and family. He’d been called to walk alone...or had he? Could Ben’s words be true? Was he worthy of finding love and happiness, despite his parentage and despite his sinful past? Part of him wanted to cling to Ben’s words—and the other part mocked him for hoping.
They nudged their horses into motion again and left the alley.
Broadway was dark and deserted at this hour. The sky stretched over them like a canopy filled with the twinkling stars of summer. They rode alongside the Northern, where a single lantern shone from the front window, letting the late passerby know the hotel was open.
A movement down the dark alley behind the Northern caught Jude’s eye. He reached out and put his hand on Ben’s shoulder to stop him.
Jude dismounted and handed Lady’s reins to Ben. He edged along the back of the Northern, his hand hovering over his pistol, and noticed two people near the barn.
They were caught up in a passionate embrace. The woman’s back was toward Jude and for a sickening heartbeat he thought it was Elizabeth—but then he recognized the silhouette of Grace.
The man pulled away. “Well, lookee here,” said Hugh Jones. �
�The great and mighty vigilance committee found us, Grace.”
Grace looked over her shoulder, keeping her head down, as if she didn’t want Jude to see her.
“Get inside the hotel, Grace.” Jude’s voice held no room for argument.
She began to move away, but Hugh took hold of her arm. “You don’t have to do what he says, sweetheart. You’re a grown woman with a mind of your own.”
Jude planted his feet, his hand still in place over his gun. He would defend Grace’s honor, if need be.
It was hard to read her features in the darkness, but by the way she held her body Jude could tell she was uncertain which way to go.
“You’ll hurt your sisters even more if you don’t get inside immediately.” Jude’s voice was even. “If nothing else, think about your reputation.”
“What good’s a reputation?” Hugh asked her. “They’re for boring people who don’t want to live a little.”
Grace straightened her shoulders. “I’ll go back inside, but not because you’ve told me to, Jude.” She glanced up at Hugh. “I’ve already had all the fun I can tonight.”
Hugh kissed her, long and hard.
Jude took a step toward them, but Grace broke away and walked toward the hotel.
Hugh stared at Jude until the hotel door closed behind Grace. “I ought to skin you alive for busting that up.”
“Get out of here, Jones, and don’t come back. Next time you step foot on my property, or you come near Grace, you’ll be looking down the end of my pistol.” Jude’s body shook with the force of his anger. “Grace deserves better than you.”
“Is that right?” Hugh spoke through clenched teeth. “If you try to stop me you’ll regret the day you made this threat. I aim to see who I want, when I want. I won’t let no self-righteous killjoy tell me otherwise.”
“Get out of here,” Jude said.
Hugh made a slow move toward his horse, which stood tethered to the clothesline in the barnyard. With unhurried movements he untied the horse and mounted. Though he moved with deliberate care, his body was tight with hatred.
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