When Jason walked back into the room, he looked pale beneath his deep tan. She jumped up. "Dear Lord, what's wrong!" He wrapped his arm around her waist and sat down on the sofa, pulling her into his lap. "It's bad, isn't it?" she asked with motherly apprehension.
He nodded, then hugged her to him for the longest while without saying a word. Finally he said, ' 'Honey, I know you want to see Robin, but I think maybe we should let me go and talk with her."
"What is it! What have the boys done now?"
Jason loved his wife with a passionate intensity that hadn't abated through the many years of marriage and child rearing. He knew his sons had gotten their protective tendencies from watching his attitude toward Kristi and his family. How could he fault them for doing what he'd always done? He didn't want to bring Kristi pain, but he knew that what he had to say would be hard for her to hear.
"Robin wasn't completely up front with us about her cruise, honey," he finally said.
She lifted her head from his chest. "What do you mean?"
He looked into her large, wide-set eyes that had always had the same effect on him since she'd been a baby. "Nothing to get excited about. I don't think. But the fact is that Jase believes, and I tend to agree with him, that Robin had a romantic interlude while she was gone. As soon as he heard about it, Jason and the boys checked the guy out. He lives in Los Angeles, he's a detective with the police force there, and he seems to be a nice enough guy. He also appears to be genuinely in love with Robin, or so Jase thinks."
"I can't believe this! And she didn't tell us a word about meeting a man."
He sighed heavily. "I know. That's what bothers me about this. I want to talk to her—about the fact that she kept this from us, the fact that she called Jase today and said that as far as she's concerned she no longer has any brothers—''
"Oh, no!" Kristi said. "I know she gets angry at them, but she's never threatened to dismiss them from her life."
"Well, that's what she did today. I may be wrong, but I think that if you're there, she'll hide behind you and not talk with me about the situation. I need to get her to deal with this and not to hide behind her mother:"
Kristi shook her head in dismay. "But, Jason, I told her we'd both be there. Why don't I go to Austin with you, and let you talk to her first? Eventually she's going to want to talk to me, and I want to be there for her."
"I suppose that will work. Jase thinks these two spent several nights alone together. In fact, he's certain of the facts, just not sure how much of that time they were actually, uh, together, if you follow me."
"She made love to him."
Her bald statement made him flinch. "Yeah," he drawled. "That's what it looks like."
"Did the man admit to it?"
"Let's say he didn't deny it. He also said that he wanted to marry Robin."
"In that case, there shouldn't be a problem."
"So it would seem. Then why is Robin upset? Shouldn't she be happy if she's fallen in love? There's something here I don't like. We'll go see her tomorrow and find out what's going on."
Cindi opened the door of the apartment the next morning in response to Robin's father's knock. Her eyes widened when she saw him. "Well, hi, Papa Mac, what are you doing here?"
"Robin wanted to talk with us, so mom and I drove here to see her. Kristi wanted to do some shopping first, so she dropped me off here."
Cindi looked like hell, Jason thought. "So what's going on?"
She shook her head. "I really can't talk about it. I've already done enough damage," she said wearily. "Robin's moving out as soon as she can find another place. She's made it clear she no longer wants me in her life."
He frowned. ' 'What nonsense. You two are closer than sisters."
"Well, she said I overstepped the boundaries this time." She sat down in one of the chairs and motioned for Jason to do the same. "I've got to admit she may be right. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but all I've done is really mess up everything!"
"Is this about that man in L.A.?"
Cindi's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh, my gosh! How did you hear about him?"
"Is it?"
"Partly... well, mostly... and the fact that she said I betrayed her trust."
"Because you told Josh about him?"
She rubbed her hands across her face. "Yeah. I've never done anything like that before, but I was so worried about her. Now she just wants me out of her life." She glanced at her watch. "I've got to go. She'll be here in a few minutes. It will be better if I stay out of the way." She got up. "I'm really sorry all of this worked out so badly. I hope she'll forgive me. Eventually."
Jason waited another fifteen minutes after Cindi left before he heard Robin's key in the door. He stood and waited for her to come inside.
She looked like hell. Her eyes were red and swollen. She was much too pale, and as soon as she saw him she burst into tears. In two strides he was beside her and holding her tightly against his chest.
"Having a rough time of it, little sister?" he murmured, rubbing her back soothingly.
They stood that way for uncounted minutes until Robin finally pulled away, wiping her cheeks with her hands. "I'm sorry, Dad. I don't know what's the matter with me." She looked around. "Where's Mom?"
"She had a couple of errands to run, so I told her to drop me off here so we could visit."
Robin turned away. "How about a sandwich? Maybe a cup of coffee?''
He had a hunch she hadn't eaten in a while. Jason ignored the fact that he'd eaten less than an hour ago and said, "Sure, sounds fine to me."
He watched his graceful, enchanting daughter as she quickly put on coffee and made sandwiches, marveling that he could be the father to such a beautiful woman. She was her mother all over again—generous and impulsive and warm and loving. His heart ached because he knew he couldn't protect her from the pain she was presently feeling.
Jason made certain that she ate, keeping her entertained during the meal with stories about the ranch and the antics of her silly cat that had taken over the household after her owner had gone off to college. He actually managed to get a smile out of her a couple of times.
Once they were finished eating, Jason leaned back in his chair and said, "Want to tell me about it?"
She looked uncomfortable. ' 'Well, actually, I was hoping to talk to Mom about this."
"Uh-huh. You think your old dad might be a little upset with you?"
She eyed him uncertainly, then made a face. "You've talked to Jase, haven't you?"
"If I had, would that make a difference?"
"Men just don't understand," she finally said.
"What is it we don't understand?" he said, determined not to show his amusement at her obvious frustration.
"I'm barely twenty-two. Almost out of college. But I've never been on my own. Even going away for college didn't help. I've always had brothers around, even here."
"So you're angry at your brothers."
"I'm tired of their interference in my life."
"'Do you think your mother and I interfere too much?''
"Not really. You're just very protective, that's all."
"We love you."
"I know you do. But sometimes I feel suffocated by all the attention. I hate that everything I do has to be vetted and commented on by my family."
"You called us, remember? That's why I'm here. What is it you need from us?"
"Your moral support. That's all. I've accepted a position at the company where I worked last summer. I'm going to be working part-time for the rest of the semester. I intend to find an apartment closer to work. I want my family to understand that I need to do this."
"Okay."
She waited, but he said nothing more. "That's it?" she finally asked.
“If this is what you want, we accept it. You set the boundaries, and we'll abide by them. We want you happy. Believe it or not, honey, that's all we ever wanted."
She nodded, looking as though she was fighting tears
.
“Do you care anything about this man you met while you were on the cruise?''
"Jason did tell you about Steve. I knew it!"
He smiled. "You know, there's really no crime in meeting a man you like, honey. I guess I'm a little surprised that you never bothered to mention him to your mom and me."
She shrugged. "There wasn't all that much to tell. I figured it was a typical vacation meeting. Cindi met a guy, too. They've written a couple of cards apiece back and forth, and that will probably be it. It was no big deal." She looked down at her hands in her lap. "Until my brothers got involved and treated it like an international incident. I am so embarrassed. I'll never be able to face him again."
He straightened and leaned forward. ' 'Here's the really important thing, sweetheart. Do you want to?''
She stared at him, her misery plain. "It really doesn't matter anymore, Dad. I made it clear I didn't want him in my life. I don't expect to ever hear from him again."
Eleven
June, Two Years Later
Robin had overslept. The phone woke her a little after ten. As soon as she answered, Don said, ' 'Where are you? Weren't we playing tennis this morning?"
She sat straight up in bed. "Oh, no! My alarm didn't go off. Oh, Don. I'm so sorry."
"We're going to lose the court." He sounded disgruntled.
Not that she could blame him. They worked together and had discovered they both enjoyed playing tennis. She had never missed their Saturday-morning tennis match before. Until this morning.
"I'm really sorry, Don. I don't know what happened. Guess we'll have to forget it until next week."
"Or maybe I'll see if someone's looking for an extra."
"Good idea. I'll see you Monday."
She hung up the phone, feeling guilty.
Boy, did she ever hate the feeling. She'd dealt with enough guilt and a need for atonement these past couple of years to have earned an eternal state of grace.
She'd almost destroyed her relationship with Cindi.
Whenever she saw her brothers they were distant— treating her so carefully and so awkwardly that she felt like crying with the frustration of it.
Her mother occasionally got a certain look in her eyes that made Robin feel she'd somehow disappointed her, too.
But nothing compared to the rift in the relationship between her and her dad. She'd tried to explain to him several times that she'd just been upset and hurt and angry when she'd leveled so many charges against men in general. She hadn't meant to hurt him.
He'd said at the time that he understood. He'd said that he wanted her to be happy and that he hadn't realized how his attitude, and the attitude of her brothers, had made her so unhappy.
Ever since that day it was as though a wall had grown between her and everyone she loved. They had all stepped back, way back, and politely allowed her to get on with her life.
Her very lonely life.
Of course she'd made friends at work. She'd dated several very nice men in the past couple of years. She enjoyed her job. In fact, Robin now had the life she had dreamed about during her teenage years.
She was free.
She was independent.
She was alone.
It wasn't at all the carefree existence she had expected it to be.
She had no one to blame but herself.
She and Cindi had eventually formed an uneasy truce, mostly because Cindi was never one to harbor a grudge. Robin had found an apartment and moved out before graduation, and Cindi had found another roommate almost immediately. After graduation Cindi had accepted a job in Chicago and rarely came home.
When she was home, they got together for lunch to catch up on personal news, but it was not the same.
Nothing was the same.
Cindi had called her three weeks ago to say she'd accepted a ring from the man she'd been dating—Roger something or other. They planned to have a long engagement, but she wanted Robin to be in on the planning of the wedding once they set a date.
It was the M word that always set Robin into an emotional spin.
If she hadn't acted like a complete fool way back when, she would be married to Steve Antonelli by now. Instead she'd let her pride take over and she'd shoved him out of her life. She couldn't blame him for not attempting another round with her.
Steve popped into her thoughts once in a while—when she saw a particularly romantic movie or television show, around the holidays, especially Valentine's Day, or when she saw couples obviously enjoying each other.
She wondered if he was married now. Despite what he'd said when they first met about the perils of his profession and a healthy marriage, he'd been willing to take the chance with her. No doubt he had met someone else by now who had been smart enough to say yes.
Robin went in and got her shower, then headed to the kitchen for coffee. Now that she had no place to go first thing this morning, she would relax with a cup of coffee and the paper before running her weekly errands.
She went to the front door and picked up her paper, then returned to the kitchen. While she waited for the coffee to brew, she flipped through the paper.
On the third page of the news section, she spotted a headline that froze her blood. A gang war in L.A. had wounded several policemen. With trembling hands she read every word. There was no mention of the names of the men who were shot or how badly they were wounded.
With so many police working for the city, the chance of Steve being a part of this particular shooting was very slim. Practically nil.
But her heart continued to pound in her chest. Life was so fragile. How quickly a loved one could be lost.
It was time for her to go to each member of her family and apologize for her behavior. She needed to tell each of them how very much she missed the closeness they once had and how much she wanted it back. Maybe by admitting how wrong she had been she could somehow convince them that she wanted to build a new and stronger relationship.
Tears, came to her eyes just thinking about all she needed to say. She loved her family so much, never so much as now when she finally faced and acknowledged to herself that she was responsible for the horrible gulf that had formed between them.
Then she thought of Steve. She always visualized him on the island, wearing shorts...or nothing at all. She'd never really tried to come to terms with what his life must be like at work—the pressure, the stress, the long hours, the frustrations that every law enforcement official had to combat.
He'd once called her a coward, and now she could better understand that he had been right. She'd complained about her life and her brothers like a silly child, while he risked his life daily performing a necessary service in the city where he lived. With the perspective of time, she now knew with complete certainty that if he hadn't wanted to come see her in Austin, there was no way her brothers could have forced the issue.
No one had held a gun to his head when he'd asked her to marry him that night in his hotel room.
What an idiot she had been.
It was at that point in her thinking that Robin suddenly had the idea of going to Los Angeles on her vacation. She had two weeks coming and was scheduled to take the last two weeks of this month. She hadn't made any formal plans. She'd thought to go home for a few days, then maybe down to the coast.
She'd never been to California. What would be wrong if she decided to go out there? Not because Steve was there, of course. He could have moved by now—gotten married, even had a child. No, she would go just to see the place. And if she decided to give him a call while she was there, what could be wrong with that?
Before she had time to talk herself out of it, Robin called her travel agent and booked the trip. Next, she called her parents and told them she wanted to come home to see everyone again.
Three Weeks Later
Robin walked along the Santa Monica sidewalk that overlooked the beach. The weather seemed too good to be true. There was a soft breeze, but the air was cool and the sunshine felt goo
d on her shoulders.
Her travel agent had recommended a hotel in Santa Monica. She was so glad that he had. Her rental car had given her an opportunity to drive around the Los Angeles area, so she had explored both the basin and the valley areas.
She'd gone to Universal Studios one day, visited the observatory, walked the streets of Hollywood, but had always been thankful to return to Santa Monica each afternoon, where she could see the ocean from her hotel window.
She hadn't gotten used to all the flowers blooming everywhere—along the sidewalks, in hanging baskets, in every yard she passed. It was beautiful this time of year. No wonder so many people came to visit southern California and fell in love with the climate.
She had been in California a week now. She'd bought a city map and actually looked up the address that Steve had given her on his card, way back when.
The fact that his phone number and address had been indelibly imprinted into her memory was a little annoying, but in this case it had come in handy. However, now that she was here, she was less and less inclined to actually contact him.
After all, what could she say to him after all this time? He didn't need to hear her admit she'd been a fool where he was concerned. When it came right down to it, they'd known each other less than a week, even counting his visit to Texas. One week. It was silly to think that he would even remember her.
This was one time when her pride would be her salvation. She was pleased she'd come here. She'd enjoyed driving through the hills, finding the famous streets— Sunset Boulevard, Mulholland Drive, as well as looking at all the shops on Rodeo Drive.
There was no reason that she needed to contact the only person she knew in this area on the off chance he might be willing to see her.
Robin crossed the wide boulevard away from the ocean and strolled up one of the main streets, passing shops and restaurants, then residences, and eventually coming to a park with several tennis courts.
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