by Lori Ryan
“He’s good, busy but good.” She smiled but Jake could see it was strained.
He squeezed her shoulder and smiled.
She kissed his cheek and patted his hand
“Well,” Aunt Sally said, “it’s nice to meet you, Becca. I’m Sally, Jake’s aunt, which makes me your aunt, too.”
Becca wrinkled her nose and studied Sally. “You don’t look like an ant.”
“What do aunts look like?” Sally asked.
She pinched her thumb and forefinger together. “They’re small and have more legs.”
The group laughed.
Becca scowled at them all.
Jake bit his lip to get his laughter under control. This girl may be less than four feet tall but she packed the personality, and probably the punch, of a world-class wrestler.
Aunt Lisa squatted next to Sally. “I’m sorry,” she said to Becca, her tone genuine, not the babying voice a lot of people used with young kids. “We didn’t mean to laugh at you, Becca. May I call you Becca?”
Becca’s scowl remained.
Jake honestly had no idea what the hell to do. Should he discipline Becca, make her respect her elders? Or did he apologize for laughing?
Aunt Lisa went on, unfazed by Becca’s expression, unlike him. “Sally didn’t mean an ant that crawls on the ground. She meant a person, a title. Your aunt.”
Becca’s scowl fell, replaced by a look of pure confusion.
“Did your mother have any sisters or brothers?” Lisa asked.
Becca’s eyes fell to the floor and she shook her head. “I forgot about that kind of aunt. I don’t have any, but some of the kids at my school do.”
That’s when Jake remembered that Becca’s mom had no brothers or sisters. She’d been an only child. It was why her grandparents had taken custody of her after Jenni died.
Sally waved her hand in the air. “Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe, it doesn’t make a hill of beans.”
Becca sucked in a breath. “That’s a bad word.”
Sally raised a brow. “What? Beans?”
“No,” Becca said.
“What then?” Sally asked.
Becca leaned in closer. “Hell,” she whispered. Her eyes darted up to Jake as if he would reprimand her. Should he? He had no idea.
He watched everyone bite back a laugh. They were all learning quickly.
“Well yes,” Aunt Sally said, “hell is a bad word.”
Jake laughed silently. Hell was a regular word for his aunt, tame even. She and his brother, Max, cursed more than sailors on shore leave. He shuddered thinking of Becca around all his brothers.
“And if you ever hear me say it, I’ll pay you a quarter,” Sally said.
Becca smiled as if she’d just thought of an evil plan. “My mom used to pay me a dollar.”
Jake thought back to Jenni. If he remembered correctly, she’d been a quiet girl, not one to cuss much. But then he hadn’t known her well. Obviously, if she’d never even told him she’d been pregnant. The thought still infuriated him.
Aunt Sally narrowed her eyes and stared at Becca like she was a cop and Becca a criminal under investigation. “She paid you a whole dollar for saying swear words?”
Jake wasn’t sure it was a question or a comment.
“Well,” Becca twisted the ear of her bunny, “sometimes. But not all times.”
God, Sally was good. Of course, she was. She’d raised six girls all on her own so she could see through Becca’s story.
Sally raised a brow. “All right, a dollar then. Shake?” She held out a hand. “Although I’m pretty sure your Uncle Max is going to go broke.” They all laughed.
“Uncle Max?” Becca stared up at him.
“Max is my brother,” he said. “That makes him your uncle.”
Becca nodded as if things were starting to make sense. Bless her heart, her life had been turned upside down, too. Sometimes Jake forgot.
Becca smiled, a look of relief washing over her face as she turned her focus back to Sally. “Deal.” She and Sally shook hands.
Aunt Lisa glanced up at him, an expression of, I feel sorry for you, etched on her face.
“Who is this?” His mother pointed to the purple stuffed rabbit Becca carried, thankfully changing the subject.
Jake rolled his eyes at the story he knew his mother was about to hear. This was worse than the swear jar Becca had told him about the first time he’d dropped an F-bomb in front of her.
“This is Dog,” Becca said, squeezing the stuffed rabbit tighter.
His mother looked from Becca to him.
He nodded toward his daughter. This was her story, and he couldn’t wait to see his mother’s reaction.
“But,” his mother hesitated, “he’s a rabbit.”
“I know,” Becca said as if his mother was an idiot. Thank God it wasn’t just him.
“So, why do you call him Dog?” his mother asked.
Becca stroked the animal’s head. “Because he’s a boy rabbit.”
His mother stared at Jake in confusion.
He just smiled, remembering the story he’d already heard.
His mother was shaking her head, bemusement in the gesture. “And so why does that mean your rabbit’s name is Dog?”
Becca stared up at his mother. “Because my mom said all men are dogs.”
His mother’s eyes went wide.
Sally snorted. “Yeah, they are,” she said under her breath.
“Sally.” Aunt Lisa swatted at her.
“What?” Becca stared up at all of them in confusion.
“Nothing honey,” Sally said, standing. “Why don’t we take you and Dog outside so you can see the mountain?”
Becca glanced up at Jake, waiting. Crap, was this one of those parenting things he needed to approve? He needed to say something. “Um, sure,” he said, shrugging. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
Becca slipped her hand into Sally’s as she dragged her suitcase behind her.
“I love your suitcase,” Sally said.
They all looked at the small case. It was covered with several Disney princesses with the words ‘Dare to Dream’ written across the top.
Up until two weeks ago, Jake could barely tell the difference between Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. But thanks to his daughter’s obsession with the franchise, he now knew almost every Disney character by heart.
When he should have been studying bills up for vote by the California legislature, he’d been watching Beauty and the Beast again and again. If he had to hear the title song one more time, he thought he might vomit. He almost groaned out loud just thinking about it.
“It’s very pretty,” Aunt Lisa added.
“Thank you,” Becca said, relinquishing her hold on the handle, which surprised Jake.
That was one thing he had to give Jenni and her family credit for, they’d raised a very polite girl. She said “please” and “thank you” in all the right places.
“Belle is my favorite princess,” she said, looking up at the women. “I love Beauty and the Beast.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen it,” his mother said.
“You’ve never seen it?” Jake and Becca said in unison, their voices pitched to the same level of shock.
His mother’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll have to show it to you sometime, Val,” Becca said.
He groaned.
The girl tapped the top of her luggage. “I have it in my suitcase if you want to see it later.”
“Oh, God, she brought it with her,” he mumbled.
“I would love to do that.” His mother smiled bigger than he’d seen in a long time. She actually looked excited.
Becca laid the suitcase on its side and popped it open, quickly finding the video. God help them all.
“One of the joys of parenthood.” Sally laughed, coming up beside him.
Jake glanced down at his aunt, who was nearly a foot shorter than him. “What’s that?”
“Watching
crap-ass movies and TV shows so many times you think you might puke. Over and over and over.” She rotated her wrist like a rolling wheel.
He laughed and glanced at his mother and Becca. Becca was explaining the plot of the movie while his mother listened with rapt attention.
Sally was right, repeatedly watching the same show was like ice picks through the skull to Jake, especially little girl movies. But if it brought such joy to his mom, and Becca, he’d endure. She’d already been through too much at the tender age of five, and his mother was still trying to cope with his father’s death.
“I wanted to be Belle last year for Halloween,” Becca said.
“Oh, I bet you made a beautiful Belle,” Aunt Lisa said.
In an unusual display of shyness, Becca stared down at the floor and kicked one shoe on top of the other.
Aunt Lisa gently touched her shoulder. “What’s wrong, dear?”
Becca didn’t look up and her voice held the thickness that came with tears. “My Mommy was going to make the dress, but…”
Jake stepped forward. Not that he knew how to help her, but he should do something, shouldn’t he?
“Well, come on,” Sally said, reaching out and taking Becca’s hand to distract her. “The mountain awaits. And my daughter, Holly, is a fashion designer in New York. She can make you any costume you want this year.”
Jake wasn’t sure what to do—comfort her, allow her to cry over her mother? Who the hell knew?
“Really?” Becca asked, staring up at Sally like she was Walt Disney in the flesh.
“Yep, true story. Come on, let’s go see the mountain,” Aunt Sally said before Jake could step in. “Your dad can put up your suitcase later.”
Becca’s smile fell as she jerked her hand away from Sally.
The fact that Becca had a father was still new to both of them, and obviously a concept she was still uncomfortable acknowledging.
The only father figure the girl had ever known, Becca’s grandfather, now had Alzheimer’s. Recently his symptoms had taken a turn for the worse. Jake had suggested to Phoebe that he take Becca for a few weeks while she looked for a facility that could help her care for him.
Jake would probably never fully understand the intricacies of fatherhood, but if Becca truly was his, he’d have to start sometime. It seemed like taking her to Colorado would give them the chance to figure out what they were to each other.
Jake squatted before Becca, taking both hands into his. They’d sent off samples for DNA testing so they had something to file with the courts. It still made him seethe to think that Jenni hadn’t put his name on Becca’s birth certificate.
What if her parents had died before her? Becca could have ended up in foster care and he wouldn’t have even known to look for her.
“Remember what we said, Becca?” he asked. “I wasn’t there when you were born,” he placed two fingers against her small chest and tapped lightly, “but I’ve always been here, in your heart.”
She looked down and stared at his hand for several tense heart beats before finally lifting her gaze, holding back tears. “And so is my momma, Grammy says,” she whispered, more as a question than a statement. “In my heart.”
“Always.” He smiled. “She’ll always be in your heart no matter what. Even on days when you miss her, she’s always here.” He tapped her chest again. “And so am I.”
She nodded once but he could see the doubt in her eyes. Thankfully she seemed pacified, for now at least. She’d had some moments where her anger seemed to get the best of her, but he was beginning to realize mood swings were normal for a child her age. At least, that’s what the blogs he’d found said.
Jake stood and glanced around the room at the women staring back at him. They were all wiping their eyes.
“Come on, sweetness.” Aunt Sally clasped one of Becca’s hands while Aunt Lisa grabbed the other. “Your grandma,” Aunt Sally stumbled, “well…uh, Val has a big fire pit outside. We can make s’mores later if your dad says it’s okay.”
Becca glanced back at Jake then to his mother.
This was so confusing, for all of them, but especially for his daughter. His daughter.
“Did you know your,” Sally paused again, “Jakey used to run around outside howling to the moon like a crazy person when he was your age. When we asked him why, he said he was a werewolf.”
“What’s a werewoop?” Becca said. She couldn’t always pronounce her F’s correctly in spite of her ability to read. It usually happened when she was tired or upset he’d noticed.
“Well, a werewolf is a really hairy guy,” Aunt Sally said “It’s a man who turns from a man to a wolf and back again.”
“Jake is pretty hairy.” Becca nodded.
His aunts chuckled. “I bet,” Aunt Sally said, glancing over her shoulder and giving him a wink.
He watched the three disappear through the back door before turning to face his mother, breathing a heavy sigh.
“Oh, Jake,” she said quietly, taking him into her arms.
He squeezed her tight against him. “I’m sorry for being such a little shit growing up.”
She laughed and didn’t even scold him for cursing.
“She’s beautiful,” she said, pulling back. “She looks a lot like you.”
He nodded, staring out the back door. “She does, especially when she gets frustrated.”
He laughed and told his mom about the time he’d tried to paint with Becca at her house on one of his early visits with her. She couldn’t get the lid off the red jar so she’d chucked it across the room. The container hit a picture on her grandmother’s wall and almost broke it. They’d stared at each other in disbelief then Jake had burst out laughing. Completely inappropriate response for a parent, he knew, but he could understand her frustration. It had been a learning moment for him when her grandmother walked in and scolded them both.
His mom laughed. “Sounds just like something you’d do.”
He turned to face her when she went silent.
“Have you gotten a DNA test?” she asked.
He nodded. “The results are due soon but, I mean, look at her, Ma.”
“She does look a lot like you, but there have been stranger things. When you called a few weeks ago you sounded like you didn’t even remember her mother.”
“I started to remember her when I saw pictures of Jenni at Phoebe and Steven’s house. She and I met at a frat party but honestly, I don’t remember much about her. I know that makes me a total asshole.”
She cocked a brow. His warning.
He laughed. “Sorry, Ma. Just calling it like it is.”
“How did Phoebe know to look for you?” she asked.
Jake drew in a long breath and blew out another heavy sigh. “Apparently Jenni had a memory box that Becca liked to play with. It had old photos and letters and things. There was a Polaroid picture of the two of us we’d taken at my frat’s annual Halloween party. We’d both signed and dated it for some reason, and I guess Jenni kept it.” Jake hesitated, seeing if his mother could figure out the rest.
“And?” she asked.
Guess not. “And, when Becca took the photo to Phoebe, she did the math and realized the timing could have been right for me to be the father. Plus, Jenni had mentioned me a few times to her mom. She never told Phoebe I was the baby’s father though, but eventually, with the picture and our resemblance, Phoebe made the connection.”
“How did Jenni die?”
“In a car accident. Drunk driver hit her. She died instantly. Phoebe said Becca was supposed to be with her but Jenni had left her at home with a sitter because Becca wasn’t feeling well that day.”
“Oh, my goodness.” His mother clamped a hand over her mouth. “That’s awful, Jake.”
“Yeah it is. It’s only been a year.”
“How’s Becca been?”
“Phoebe said she has good days and bad days. She saw a therapist for the first six months but got bored.”
His mother studied
him and smiled. “I can understand that.”
“Apple and tree?” he asked.
“Something like that.” She hesitated again, something he wasn’t used to from his mother.
He cocked his head. “Just say it.”
“Do you want her? I mean, long-term.”
“I never saw myself having a kid, you know. At least not anytime soon.”
His mother remained silent. Of course. She probably didn’t know what to say. She had six boys back-to-back by the time she was his age. She had been born to be a mother.
“But the bottom line is,” Jake said, “Phoebe doesn’t really have any options. That’s why she finally reached out to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Phoebe and Steven were older when they had Jenni. Jenni was an only child so Becca has no aunts or uncles. Phoebe was an only child so there are no great aunts or uncles on that side, either.”
“What about Steven’s family? Have they been involved?”
“He’s already in his early 70s and only had one sister who died almost ten years ago.”
“Goodness.” His mother shook her head. “There’s been a lot of death in that family.”
Jake nodded. “If she’s mine, I’ll take her.”
His mother narrowed her eyes.
“What do you want me to say, Ma? Should I raise another man’s kid? Would that be fair to Becca if I wasn’t her dad and I didn’t do what I could to find him? To let him know?”
“None of this has been fair to Becca,” she said.
Jake’s shoulders slumped, remembering the pain Becca must be going through, her entire world turned upside down.
“It sounds like all she has left is you, Jake.”
It was the truth. Phoebe was searching for a health care facility for Steven as his Alzheimer’s progressed, but until then, she was sole provider for both her aging husband and Becca. Anyone could see the woman was worn to the bone. That was the reason he’d suggested a “vacation” of sorts.
Although now wasn’t the best time to leave the senator. None of the bills they were working on would wait while he got his personal life sorted out. As it was, he’d had to stop on the drive here several times to answer questions from the people in his office who were left handling the bill currently being debated.
