by L. A. Witt
“I don’t blame you. I’d have done the same.” I took another drink, if only to wet my parched mouth. “How long have you known?”
Another shrug. “A few weeks. Maybe two months, if that.” He watched his fingers tapping the side of his beer bottle. “I just didn’t want to confront him-either of you-until I was absolutely sure.”
I barely kept myself from shuddering. For two months, while I’d carried on with Jake in blissful ignorance, Nathan must have been agonizing over all of this.
Without looking at me, he said, “How did you meet him?”
“He was one of my regular customers.”
His fingers suddenly stopped and his head snapped up, eyebrows raised. “He-what?”
I cocked my head, then laughed. “I own a movie theatre.”
He laughed, too, and some of the hostility between us seemed to diminish. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply…” He trailed off.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Given the circumstances…” I chewed my lip, inwardly cringing as the tension returned. Less hostile now, but awkward, nonetheless.
“Which theatre?”
“What?”
“You said you own a theatre.” He lifted his beer bottle, but paused just in front of his lips. “Which one?”
Whether he was genuinely curious or just wanted to change the subject, I wasn’t going to argue.
“The Epidauran,” I said.
His eyes widened and he swallowed his drink. “You own that place?”
I nodded. “Well, I co-own it. My partner and I-” Another flick of his eyebrows made me pause. “My business partner and I bought it a few years ago when the old owner was shutting it down. Back when it was still The Looking Glass.”
“You did a nice job with it,” he said with a nod of what I assume was approval. “Was a dump when it was still The Glass.”
“Thank you. It still has its problems, but we’ve tried to fix it up.” I paused. “I don’t think I’ve seen you there.”
“You probably see a lot of people.” He smiled. “And I haven’t been there in-” He cut himself off, his expression darkening and his gaze dropping.
“What?”
He swallowed hard, and when he looked at me, some of the bitterness had returned to his expression. “I probably haven’t been there in six months or so.” Through his teeth, he added, “About the time Jake suddenly lost interest in foreign and independent films.”
“Oh.” I went for my beer, letting the label hold my gaze. He didn’t need to know how often Jake had come to The Epidauran alone. Nor how many times he’d left with me.
Nathan cleared his throat. “Anyway, it’s a nice place.”
“Thanks,” I said dryly. “So, um, what do you do?”
He shifted, picking up his beer bottle and visibly relaxing as we moved on to another topic. “I’m an attorney.”
As the conversation went on and fury no longer added its harsh edge to Nathan’s features, I couldn’t stop looking at him. Without the mask of anger, he was simply gorgeous. He had an infectious smile, the kind that was impossible not to return, especially when it crinkled the corners of his dark eyes. When he laughed-freely now, without the choked, bitter sound-there was music in his voice.
And that was just his face. I hadn’t had a chance to drink him in while he was standing, but what I could see above the table was anything but disappointing. His black shirt sat just right on broad shoulders, and the collar was casually unbuttoned, revealing a thin gold chain resting on his collarbones.
The sleeves were snug enough to show off his toned arms, and silver rings on his right ring and left index fingers drew my attention to his hands. Hands that could open and light a Zippo lighter in one fluid motion, something I’d never quite mastered in spite of trying time and again. I caught myself staring at his hands, watching the rings catch the light whenever his long, slender fingers drummed the table or played with the label on his beer bottle.
Those hands probably give a hell of a- I cut off that train of thought. Fucking hell, this guy just busted his boyfriend cheating with me, and I’m thinking about what he’s like in bed? I’m either a seriously insensitive bastard, or I really need to get laid.
When I realized I’d been staring, I looked up, and a hint of a smile told me it hadn’t escaped his notice. He didn’t seem offended by it or creeped out. Amused, if anything.
As I took another long drink, not tasting a single drop of it, I figured it was probably a little of both.
Jake, you pissed this away? What in the name of all that’s holy were you thinking? It occurred to me then that I’d all but forgotten about Jake as I lost myself in conversation with Nathan. This was supposed to hurt, but it didn’t. I was supposed to be angry, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t supposed to be attracted to Nathan, but I was.
I took a sip of beer, wishing it was about forty degrees colder. As I swallowed it, I glanced at Nathan just in time to see him drop his gaze. His face might have colored, or it might have been the dim light from the lamp above the table encouraging my wishful thinking.
After another round and some more conversation, he looked at his watch. “Shit, it’s almost midnight. Listen, I appreciate the beer,” he said, indicating the empty bottle. “I should probably go.”
“No problem.” My own disappointment surprised me. I should have been relieved that this was over, but my heart sank as he started to stand. Here comes that parting handshake, then we can both get on with getting over Jake.
He pulled his jacket halfway onto his shoulders, then paused, looking at me. “Are you staying?” Something in his voice seemed…uncertain. Hesitant.
“I, um,” I said. “I didn’t really have a reason to, no.”
He continued the motion of putting on his jacket, but slower now. Deliberately so. Waiting.
I stood and picked up my own jacket. He waited while I put it on, then headed for the door, glancing back to see-maybe to make sure-if I was following.
Outside, he stopped. “Where are you parked?”
“Actually, I live about half a mile that way.” I gestured in the direction from which we’d come earlier.
“My car is a block or so that way.” He nodded in the same direction and started walking, and my feet accepted his implied invitation to walk with him.
We weren’t so far apart this time. Maybe half an arm’s length, if that. Still not close enough to touch, but the wall of ice had melted.
He reached into his jacket and pulled out his cigarettes, then hesitated. He glanced at the pack, and a moment later, it was back in his pocket.
“I don’t mind if you smoke,” I said.
“Nah, it’s not that,” he said. “I’m not a heavy smoker, honestly. I only need the nicotine when I’m nervous.” Again, he went for his pocket, but again his hand came away empty.
Conversation became steadily more awkward as we approached the second cross street where, I assumed, we’d be parting ways. He slowed his pace, as did I, and we walked like two people who wanted to draw this out even if we talked like two people who were too uncomfortable to stay another minute.
In spite of our best efforts, we eventually reached the cross street, and Nathan stopped.
“My car’s that way,” he said quietly, gesturing down the street. “I should probably let you go.”
I couldn’t think of any reason to keep him here. No reason that made sense, anyway. My attraction to him was probably just out of spite for whatever-his-name-was who I was with a lifetime ago.
“Listen, I’m really sorry about everything,” I said. “You know, with-” I paused. “Jake.” Right, that’s his name.
Nathan shrugged. “You didn’t know.” A cautious smirk tugged at his lips. “Sorry I fucked up your sure thing tonight.” We both laughed, but in the back of my mind, I wondered.
Did I dare? Hell, I had nothing to lose. Once we parted ways, we’d probably never see each other again.
Ignoring the fact that I had never, ever been
this forward with someone in my life, I reached across the space between us and put my hand on his hip. “I don’t know, maybe you haven’t.”
His eyes darted to my hand, then to my face. The hand on his hip wanted to shake as I regretted making this move. He couldn’t possibly want me. Not after everything with Jake, after everything tonight, after-
He put his hands on my hips.
In unison, we both swallowed hard. Though our bodies were still the same distance apart, our arms now bridged that distance and seemed to diminish the gap between us. I couldn’t decide if he was too close or too far away.
His fingers hooked in my belt loops, and he pulled me to him. I slid my arms around his waist, as much for balance as closeness.
Our faces were inches apart now, close enough that I caught the all-too-familiar faint scent of cigarette smoke lingering under cologne. The faint scent of guilt. Of how we’d ended up here in the first place.
Like the end of a cigarette when a drag is taken, the dormant anger in my gut flared to life. That son of a bitch had played us both for idiots and screwed us both over.
Fuck you, Jake.
I pulled Nathan a little closer, catching my breath when his cock pressed against mine through our jeans. His lips thinned, some of the earlier anger returning to his expression, but his narrowed eyes still burned with arousal.
With lust.
With angry lust.
He tilted his head and leaned in a little more, his ragged breath warming my face, but he didn’t kiss me yet.
“Was this what you had in mind when you offered to buy me a beer?”
Yes, I just didn’t know it yet. I swallowed. “No.”
Laughing softly, he closed some of that minute remaining distance, but still he hesitated. Pulled back. He moved less than an inch or two away and it was entirely too far.
In a hoarse, growling whisper, he said, “I know I shouldn’t, but I really, really want to kiss you.”
I resisted the urge to moisten my lips. “I’m not pulling away.”
“I know,” he breathed, leaning in before drawing back again. “But if I do…”
Before I could stop myself, I moistened my lips, very nearly touching his in the process. He shivered, releasing a sharp breath.
When our eyes met, I understood.
Once we started, we weren’t stopping.
I took a breath. “My place isn’t far up the street.”
“I’ll drive.”
Chapter Three
The short walk to his car and shorter drive to my apartment were silent except for my brief directions. It wasn’t the hostile or awkward silence from before. If anything, we were just subdued. Waiting. We both knew what this was about. We both knew what we wanted. There was nothing to discuss. If we did discuss it, there was a chance we’d figure out that we were doing it for all the wrong reasons.
Right or wrong, we were both angry and hurt, and if we could find a way to release that anger with each other, then so be it.
I surreptitiously glanced at Nathan. This situation must have cut him even deeper than it did me, so I could only imagine what went on in his mind right then. Jake, if you want to throw this away, you son of a bitch, I’ll be happy to pick it up for you, if only for tonight.
I had no illusions that this was anything more than a one night stand. It wasn’t even that: It was revenge sex. A fuck you to Jake, who’d probably already charmed his way into someone else’s bed by now anyway. Or maybe Nathan and I weren’t the only ones to begin with. Maybe in his little black book, under Nathan’s name and mine, was a Justin Case or two. If monogamy wasn’t his strong suit, I thought as we pulled into the parking lot, then why would he stop at two?
And why was I rationalizing this? I dug my keys out of my jacket pocket as we silently went from the car to my front door. We’re consenting adults. We’re using each other, but for the same thing. Who the fuck cares?
His hands slid over my hips as I unlocked the door. This is probably a bad idea. He pulled himself closer, his hard cock pressing against me. I’m going to regret this tomorrow. His soft goatee tickled my skin as he kissed the side of my neck. I don’t care.
Once we were inside, I turned the deadbolt and found Nathan’s hand in the darkness. He closed his fingers around mine and followed me down the hall, his steps tentative as he walked through dark, unfamiliar territory. Putting a light on would have made sense if not for the fact that the second I could see him, we were going down right then and there. Better to at least try to fall somewhere near the bed. So, the lights stayed off. I just hoped one of my cats wasn’t sprawled across the hallway.
They’ll move.
I flipped on the bedroom light and let him go in first. As soon as the door clicked shut behind me, the subdued silence was over.
He slammed me against the door, kissing me frantically as my hands tangled in his hair. His kiss was so demanding it was painful, and I returned it the exact same way. I was so hard it hurt, especially with his rock-hard cock pressing against-almost grinding against-my own.
With desperate, angry hands, we clawed at clothing, pulling apart buttons with no regard for the threads that held them. We probably ripped a few off in the process, and I was sure a seam or two tore, but I just didn’t give a damn.
When my shirt was open, he pulled me away from the door by my lapels. Together we stumbled toward the bed, kicking off shoes, forcing shirts off each other’s shoulders, struggling with belts.
As soon as we made it across the room, I grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him down to the bed with me. We were breathless, frantic, devouring each other, pulling each other closer even though we couldn’t get much closer.
“Tell me you have condoms,” he growled, kissing my neck and shoulder so hard I thought he was going to sink his teeth in.
Yes, because I was fully intending to fuck someone else tonight. Anger surged through me as I remembered why we were here, and it aroused me even more. Made me want him even more.
“There,” I said, gesturing in the general vicinity of the bedside table.
He muttered something like “thank God”, and pushed himself off me. As soon as we were apart, we both threw off the last of our clothes. He grabbed a condom out of the drawer and tore the wrapper almost completely in half with his teeth. Just before he rolled it on, though, he looked at me. Looked me up and down. Then, with a shaking hand, he set the partly wrapped condom on the table.
What are you doing? I wanted to scream but I couldn’t remember how. Fuck, what are you waiting for? Jesus, Nathan, just-
His fingers closed around my cock, making it impossible for me to breathe. After two or three slow strokes, he licked his lips and I damn near came just from anticipation.
Thankfully, I didn’t, because then I would have missed the relentless desperation of his mouth on my cock.
As soon as his tongue touched me, I sucked in a breath and my back lifted off the bed. One hand grabbed the bed to keep me there. The other grabbed his hair to keep him there.
“Fuck,” I groaned. “Fuck, don’t stop, please don’t stop…” He didn’t stop. The more I begged him not to stop, the faster he fucked me with his mouth, squeezing with lips and hand until the electric pulses running up my spine were too much, too damned much, and just when I thought my mouth might betray me and tell him it was too much, I came. He kept going, slower now, slowing with every stroke, until I shuddered one last time and relaxed.
His mouth was barely off my cock before he growled, “Get on your knees.” He reached for the condom and I sat up, pausing for a second to let the room stop spinning.
“Jesus,” I whispered. I glanced at him, and he winked, grinning at me as he rolled the condom on.
He paused. Looked around. “Lube?”
“Same drawer.”
As he reached for it, I shifted positions, hoping my arms and legs could even hold me up now. When his hands closed around my hips, my limbs threatened once more to collapse under me. I screwed
my eyes shut and exhaled as cool lube against my skin sent a tremor up my spine.
“Fuck,” he breathed as his cock slid into me. His fingers dug painfully into my hips and he groaned. I guessed it took every bit of restraint he had to go slow, to make sure I was ready for him. He pulled out then pushed in, his breath coming in shorter, shallower gasps each time.
I knew what he was waiting for. Even through the haze of fury and lust, he needed my go ahead. A sign from me to let him know that he didn’t have to hold back anymore. Closing my eyes, I rocked back against him. Then again, harder this time.
His hands tightened around my hips, keeping me in place. At first, I thought he wanted to keep things slow, that he was enjoying this pace in spite of the desperation written all over his ragged breathing and trembling touch.
Then, with a moan that became a roar, he slammed his cock into me, driving himself as deep into me as he could. He held my hips still so he could control the speed, so that I could do nothing but take it exactly as he chose to give it.
A deep groan escaped his throat. Or maybe mine. I couldn’t tell. I didn’t know. I didn’t care.
His hands moved up my back, then gripped my shoulders, giving him extra leverage as he pounded me harder and harder. The bedspread bunched in my fists as my head fell forward and my eyes tried to roll back. I’d never been fucked like this. It was painful. It was furious. It was hot.
His hands left my shoulders. One came down beside me, supporting his weight over me, but the other grabbed my hair, and jerked my head back. It wasn’t enough to hurt my neck, but it made me gasp.
“Like that?” he growled in my ear. His tone was such a palpable mixture of rage and rampant lust, it probably would have made me come had I not already.
The hand in my hair tightened. “Do you like that?” he said again.
