I look at Tyler across the table, and he doesn’t look at me. I wonder why, thinking immediately that something that I did last night must have put him off. I can think of nothing though, nothing that I did that he disapproved of. I focus on the food in front of me, needing to eat the hangover away, and needing to speak to Isaiah, to tell him what I have been doing. I cannot resist, needing someone to talk to. It this person comes in the form of my 16-year old brother, then so be it.
“I slept with him!” I say, as soon as I have managed to pull Isaiah alone.
“Who,” he asks. I can see the wheels turning in his eyes quickly. “Charlie?” he teases, pulling my leg obviously.
“No, fuck no…” I say, and then I turn away from him, before I tell him who I mean.
“Tyler? ...but you said…” he starts.
“I know what I said. And it wasn’t like that. I needed to fuck; he needed to fuck, so we fucked!” I dismiss it as just fucking, not needing it to be anything more than that. I know though, deep down, in that place that knows that I really am starting to like him. Maybe it’s just curiosity, who knows. Who the fuck even cares?
“Okay…and how do you feel about this?” Isaiah has the tendency of going all Dr. Phil on a person at the oddest times.
“Fuck off, I don’t feel anything… We just fucked, that’s it!”
“So, you fucked your brother…way to go…”
“Fuck off!”
The words ring in my head. I fucked my brother! Technically, he’s my step brother, I console myself. I have to admit to myself that there is something twisted about this. Did I do it to get back at my mom, on some level, I wonder? NO, no, that’s not it. I really wanted to fuck him. I really wanted to feel him inside of me. I like to fuck too, so if it wasn’t him, it would have just been somebody else. There is something about the fact that it was him, though, something that I find wonderfully intriguing.
The way he fuck me too was fascinating. It awakened urges in me, desires that I did not even know I was capable of. Not until now, that is. I find him completely irresistible too now, wanting him more and more. How though, when he suddenly won’t even look at me. I don’t want to ask him why he suddenly feels the urge to ignore me either, not wanting to come across as a needy child. In two days we will be off this fucking island, and I can go back to my old life.
What is my old life though? I’m done with high-school, and I haven’t even gone to college yet. One gap year became two, and now it is threatening to become three. My mother indulged me for a while, but she cannot look after me forever. And the last thing I want is to end up sleeping on my brother’s couch, working as a waitress. A plan starts to form in my mind.
What if, just what if I can convince Tyler to take me with him to Silicon Valley. What it I can do an internship with his company, and work for my own money until I figure myself out. Then I will have unlimited access to him, and he can teach me his way of fucking, just so that I can notch this up on my lovemaking belt.
Tyler avoids me for the whole day though, and that night, I lie in bed, naked, waiting for him, hoping that he will come in to my room again. He doesn’t come though, and I don’t go to him. I cannot be seen as desperate, not now. But I am desperate, desperate for his cock, and strangely, for his approval. I need him to want me, I need him to need me, I need him.
The day before we are supposed to leave he is still ignoring me. First I thought I was just imagining it, but then I noticed that he spoke to everyone, even Isaiah, just not to me. Suddenly our departure from this island looms over me too soon. I wish suddenly that there could be a storm, anything that might delay the airplane that is coming to fetch us tomorrow. Nothing of the sort seems likely though. I start to panic.
Not the normal sort of panic either. This panic is real, and I don’t know what to do with it, or with myself. I fake a headache and go to my room before dinner, and I start to think, think about everything, about that night that we fucked. I wonder what it was about me that he did not like. Perhaps he just needed to get his rocks off, needing just to empty his sack. Perhaps I too was just another notch on his belt.
This seems likely, with the lack of real intimacy. He did not kiss me, not once, not in the way that matters. He licked my lips, he spat in my mouth. Fuck, he came in my mouth and a swallowed it, more than once. He took my virginity in my ass. I never thought that I would give up my ass so easily but he took it. I wanted him to take it. I hate the fact that I wanted him so much, that I still want him. I hated these feelings even more than I hated the sun.
I really just want to be back in New York now, so that I can get back to raging against the machine, back to my anarchy and mayhem. This isn’t a life though, and if I continue the way I have then I will be arrested and end up in prison. I really don’t have a look for prison, no matter how hard-ass I try to be. Perhaps it is time for me to get those college applications out, I think to myself.
A soft knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts. I look up to see Tyler peeping into the doorway. He asks for permission to enter with his eyes. I don’t know what my eyes say, but he comes in anyway. He looks at me, for the longest time, and then sits on the bed. The runs a finger up my arm and I shudder, warming in the places that he knows so well now.
“So, I’ve been talking to you mom, and my dad… and we think it might be a good idea for you to come back with me, to the Valley, so that I can talk some sense into you, give you a little direction…” He seems to have read my mind, but how?
“What?” is all I can manage, not wanting to appear over enthusiastic, but wanting to hug him and kiss him, knowing somehow that this will not be acceptable.
“If you want to, that is…nobody is forcing you to anything that you don’t want to do…” he says, sounding like he is talking about much more than just whisking me away from the East Coast, and everything I know, everything that is familiar to me.
“What will I do in the Valley, exactly?” I really need to know. I want to know what exactly is being put on the table here. The last thing I want is to go to the West Coast and be used as a sex slave, only to be disregarded after the novelty of me wears off.
“Nothing that you don’t want to do…” he says, leaving this statement hanging, like ripe fruit on a tree. He pulls me to him, and kisses me on my forehead. Then he leaves me to think about what he is proposing to me.
I know exactly what he is proposing, and I want it, with every part of me. I don’t even care how quickly the novelty wears off, reasoning that I can just go back home and move on with my life anyway. But I am curious about everything that I can learn from him, learn with him. He has mountains more experience than I do, and I intend to milk it for everything that it is worth.
We all know what curiosity did to the cat, but fuck it, I ain’t no cat. I could be a cat, a tell myself. I could be whatever the fuck Tyler wants me to be. I take my imagined headache with me back to the dining room, where everyone is gathered, still enjoying the last of the Christmas vacation. I look from him to Isaiah, and then from my mother to Charlie. Then, after taking a deep breath, I pull myself together and say the words I know at least two people in the room are dying to hear….
“Okay,…I’ll go…”
THE END
ROMANCE: MC Romance: Owned by The Bad Boy (Stepbrother Bad Boy BBW Ménage Mafia Romance) (Contemporary New Adult Alpha Male Billionaire Romance Short Stories) Page 11
