by T. S. Ryder
How was it that the worst thing Leila had done to her was also the best?
She collapsed down on the pillow, Ryan's head resting in the crook of her neck. He nipped at her sensitive flesh, his motions slowing just a tad.
"Are you okay?" he whispered.
"Yes," she whispered back. "I love this. I love you."
With a grin, he thrust his hips hard against her. The motion had heat flaring through her whole body once more. She gripped his hip with her hand, screaming as he kept up the assault. Her eyes widened, bugging out of her head, as her fingernails dug into him.
When the end came, it was so powerful that everything went black. Jamie's mouth was still open, her jaw hanging slack, but she didn't have the brain function to breathe in. Instead, a noiseless scream still closed her throat over. Her body moved on its own, pushing back against her lover, limbs thrashing. He held tight and kept her high for another few minutes before the pleasure overcame him.
They collapsed on the bed, both panting ragged breaths, neither of them able to speak.
After a long time spent getting her breath back, Jamie moved back closer. He was still inside, filling her, and she didn't want to break apart. She could feel his heartbeat through her back. It pounded fast like hers, and she sighed in happiness. This was what she wanted. To feel utterly relaxed in the arms of another person, to share this intimacy and not feel like she had to run away as soon as it was done.
She wanted someone she could share her deepest secrets with and know that he would keep them and her safe.
"Ryan?"
"Mmmm?"
"I'm afraid for you. Your job is so dangerous. I know that you're doing great things and I don't want you to quit. I'm so proud of you and what you've accomplished. I love how dedicated you are. It might be selfish of me to worry about you, but I do."
"It's not selfish." He kissed her neck, his voice deep and warm. "That's what love is. And I worry for you. Even though I know there is nothing to be afraid of. I think of everything bad that can happen in a day and I want to be by your side to protect you from all of it. Silly, huh?"
Tears flooded her eyes. Damn hormones. "It's not silly. I'm afraid for me, too."
Ryan stilled. "Why? Have you been threatened?"
"No. I'm pregnant."
Jamie held her breath. How would he react? Her heart pounded as she waited, but Ryan didn't move. He didn't say anything. Her stomach clenched. He was angry. He didn't want to have children yet. It was just one more distraction that he didn't need. He was going to send her away, out into the country where she wouldn’t hear anything about what he was doing and so he wouldn’t have to worry—
Stop, she told herself firmly. "Ryan?"
"Pregnant," he breathed. His hands drifted over her stomach. He laughed softly and kissed the back of her neck. "Pregnant!"
The happiness in his voice made the knots in Jamie's shoulders unknot. She buried her face into the pillow, trying to sop up the stupid tears that insisted upon rolling down her cheeks. Why was she crying again? This was happy news. He was happy. They should be dancing and shouting from the rooftops. They loved each other and they were going to be parents. What could be better than that?
"Jamie?" Ryan's voice was laden with concern again. "Hey. What's wrong? You said you're afraid. Why are you afraid?"
"My older sister died in childbirth," she said with a sob. "And Mother nearly died giving birth to Katrina. My family has an awful history when it comes to having babies. What if the same happens to me? I want this baby, Ryan. Even though she was unexpected and I'm scared out of my mind, I love her already. But what if I can't give birth? What if my hips are too narrow for a baby that's bound to be huge? I mean, just look at you!"
Ryan pulled her in closer and kissed her again. "Shhh. Shhh. It's okay. It's okay, my love. The Guard has the best physicians available, and we are not going to let this baby get stuck. Successful cesareans are done all the time, and you don't have to be afraid. Medicine has made leaps and bounds in just the last few years."
"I know. I just can't help but be afraid. And if I don't die . . . but you do? What are we supposed to do then? I barely remember my father. I don't want my child to grow up without knowing hers at all."
"You don't have to worry. You've got a good job, and if something happens to me, you’ll have a stipend from the Guard as my wife. It'll be enough for you to finish your university degree and continue on taking care of our baby."
Jamie elbowed him lightly in the chest to make him let go of her. He released her with a grunt and she turned around. Her shirt had ridden up and she tugged it down over her hips. She stuck a finger into Ryan's face. "Listen here. I don't want a stipend. What part of I don't want my child growing up without knowing her father makes you think this is all about money?"
A smile answered her.
"I don't want a stipend," she repeated under her breath. "I want you. I want you to be with us as she grows up. I want you to be able to be a father to her like your father was to you. I need you, Ryan. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't want to end up like my mother, and I need you to help me to make sure that never happens."
"It won't. You are going to be an excellent mother."
"I hope so." Jamie rubbed her belly again. "She deserves a good mother."
"She? Why do you keep saying 'she'?"
Right. She hadn't told him. Jamie gave him a smile and nodded. "I went to the doctor already. Just to make sure everything was okay. I needed to, for my peace of mind."
Ryan nodded, though he did look a little disappointed. "Next time, we go together."
"Yeah. I had an ultrasound. It is a little early to tell . . . but it looks like we're going to have a little girl."
"A girl." Ryan rested a hand on her stomach. "I hope she's as pretty as you. Now, lie down, sweetheart. We both need our rest."
Sniffing, Jamie obeyed. She curled herself into his arms and sighed in contentment. Everything was going to be okay because Ryan was with her. She had to trust their love.
Chapter Fourteen – Ryan
Getting out of bed and leaving Jamie the next morning was one of the hardest things he had ever done. She was pregnant. That explained so much. Why her scent was affecting him so much, his protective instincts kicking into high gear, her exhaustion of late. Her fears made it especially difficult to leave. He wanted to be with her to reassure her, to make sure she knew that she was going to be fine, that their baby would be fine. Everything would be fine.
Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple. Jordon's organization had gone on radio silence. It meant they were planning something and Ryan couldn't just kick around waiting for the shoe to drop. He had to take out that zealot before he could hurt anybody.
Melissa passed him her coffee when he came into the briefing room. She looked like she needed it, but Ryan gratefully took a few swallows of the hot liquid.
"Somebody looks happy," the alpha said dryly. "Had fun with Jamie last night?"
"She's pregnant," Ryan said, ignoring the jibe. "She told me last night. She's about eight weeks along and has started to show."
Melissa's brows rose. "Eight weeks? So it's a honeymoon baby, is it?" Her expression relaxed into a smile. "Congratulations. I mean it. Babies are the best thing that can happen to you. You're going to be an excellent father. But I have to ask: are you still up for this?"
"This as in taking down Jordon?"
"Yes."
Ryan nodded. "Bringing a child into the world doesn’t make me hesitate. I have one more thing I need to protect, and I will bring Jordon to justice."
"Good, I—"
The door burst open. Sean, followed by three of the Elite, charged in. Ryan jerked in surprise and instinctively reached for the alpha to shield her. The Elite grabbed her and pulled her away while Sean punched Ryan in the face, then flipped him to the floor and pinned him down. His mind reeled.
"What is going on here?" the alpha demanded.
"Ma'am." Sean cuffed Ryan's hands beh
ind his back. "I'm afraid that we've uncovered evidence that Ryan is working with Jordon."
"What?" Ryan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. "That's preposterous."
Sean dragged him to his feet, then pulled a picture from his pocket and showed it to the alpha. Her face paled as she looked at it, and then turned it towards Ryan. His jaw dropped. It showed him in a dark alley, Jordon facing him. The image was a little grainy, but not so much that he couldn’t make out his own visage. He shook his head.
"That's not me."
"I didn't want to believe it," Sean said, ignoring him. "But if he is working with Jordon, it would explain why we haven't gotten anywhere with the investigation."
The alpha looked at the picture again and shook her head. "I don't believe it." She fell silent and started pacing up and down the room, then faced Ryan. "But is it a risk we can afford to take?"
Ryan felt dazed, staring at the picture again. Who had manipulated this picture? Who wanted him out of the investigation? He understood the position Melissa was in. If it was him seeing Sean in a picture meeting Jordon, he'd have his friend arrested in an instant. As the alpha continued to hesitate, he shook his head. "You can't risk it. If it was anybody but myself I'd have them arrested, and I'm sure that Sean will do the same. The safety of the pack comes first."
A look of uncertainty flashed over Sean's face, but he nodded. "Ma'am, we have to make sure that he can't contact Jordon if he's working with the zealots."
"I don't believe it," Melissa repeated, then sighed. "But you are very right. This isn't something that I can just ignore. Take him away. But I want this picture put through every test we have to see if it's been tampered with in any way."
"Yes, ma'am." Sean pulled Ryan from the room.
As they walked along, Ryan's mind went from one possibility to another. Jordon must be nervous that they were getting too close to him. Either that, or he wanted to cause turmoil and upset in the ranks, leaving the Guard and the alpha vulnerable to attack. The photo would be revealed as fake within a few hours, though, so unless it was going to happen right away . . .
Sean took Ryan to the parking garage and shoved him into a car. "Stay here and look after the alpha," he told the Elites.
They glanced at each other. "Sir, protocol states—"
"And the man who made the protocol is in handcuffs. I am in charge now, and I'm ordering you to go look after the alpha." The Tiger growled, narrowing his eyes at the Elite.
Ryan's heart jumped to his throat. There was no way Sean would ever break protocol. They had created the rules together. He struggled against his restraints as the Elite looked at each other before nodding. They headed off and Sean slipped into the driver's seat. His whole body was tense. Ryan snarled. His own best friend, his second in command.
"Why?"
Sean turned on the car. "Jordon has my brother and his family. He'll kill them all, starting with the baby, if I don't do this. I'm so sorry, Ryan. I don't have a choice. I thought you'd see that something was wrong. But you were too involved with your new wife, it seems."
"Sean—"
"I can't sacrifice them. My family is everything to me. When it's done, I'm going to turn myself over to the alpha. You'll be remembered with honor."
Ryan kept still. He stared at Sean's face in the mirror. They had been friends their whole lives. He allowed the claw on this little finger to grow and maneuvered around so it was pressed against the lock on the cuffs. It was a trick his dad used to show him, but one he had never been able to master himself. It was his only chance, though. He inserted the growing claw into the lock, pushing it out harder as it brushed against metal. If he did it right, his claw would take the form of the lock and if he turned his finger just right—
The pressure of the cuffs eased. Ryan shook them free as they left the alpha's grounds, heading into the street. He waited another couple of seconds before he lunged forward. His fist collided with Sean's head before his friend knew the punch was coming. The blow dropped him and the car jerked to the side. Ryan grabbed the wheel and directed it back onto the road as he climbed into the driver’s seat. Opening the door, he shoved Sean out and slammed on the gas, hoping that the Tiger would recover before he got hit by another car.
Ryan barreled down the road, needing to get as far away as possible right now. The cops would be on him soon, though. He'd need to abandon the car and get away on foot – over the rooftops, maybe? The buildings were close together. He'd be able to make quite a distance over them in his Lion form.
The real difficulty would come after he made his escape.
"Damn you, Jordon," he muttered under his breath as he swerved the car onto the sidewalk. "You couldn't wait until after my child was born for this?"
He jumped out and crouched, Shifting just before he sprang into the air. His huge paws caught the roof of the nearest building and he pulled himself up and dashed across it to leap over the alley in the back. If it had still just been him, this situation wouldn't be so hard. He would simply go after Jordon with a single-minded determination. He might even be grateful to be out of the constraints of his position.
But now? Jamie was pregnant and she was scared. How was he meant to focus on capturing Jordon when this ball of worry was eating away at his chest? He wanted to run right back home to his wife, to reassure her that everything was going to be alright. She didn't need this stress on top of everything else! His teeth gnashed together, but he held his pace. Even calling her at this point would put her under suspicion and more danger. He had to leave her out of this.
And, of course, there was Sean. He'd be using this to turn the Guard against Ryan, but hopefully that would mean Jordon would not retaliate against his family. The only way to make sure they were safe was to take down Jordon. But in the meantime, it meant his old friend would be hunting him.
Ryan leaped from a building into the street, then slipped into a store and Shifted as he headed through to the back. He would find a safe place to lay low for a while. And then he would take Jordon out.
Chapter Fifteen – Jamie
Three Weeks Later
Jamie leaned against the wall as a pain wrapped around her stomach, squeezing downwards. It made her gasp, but she had called the doctor and had been assured that it wasn't something to worry about. She was still five weeks from giving birth, and some false labor was natural. It was nothing to worry about.
Her arms wrapped around her stomach, which by this time was jutting like a rounded beach ball from her body. The extreme growth had put off her center of balance, and there were times when she woke in the night with severe cramping, feeling like her stomach was going to be ripped open. Her skin was thinner around her midsection, and when she lifted her shirt she could see the veins and muscle beneath it.
"Here." Katrina hurried to her side and helped her to the couch to sit.
"Thanks." Jamie sank down with a sigh. She wanted Ryan to be with her right now. So badly. She hadn't seen him for over three weeks and the worry was eating her up inside. They said he was a traitor and tried to kill the alpha, but there was no way that was true. He was being set up. Jamie didn't know how, but he was.
Katrina fussed over her, eyes bright. "Can I get you anything? Water? Juice?"
"No, I'm fine. I just need a little rest." The thought of trying to climb the stairs was so daunting her Panther actually hissed. "I'll just sleep down here."
Katrina nodded, but before she could speak someone opened the door and walked in. It was Leila. Jamie tensed. What was her mother doing here? She had had nothing to do with them since Jamie told her she was pregnant.
If it wasn't risky to Shift during a pregnancy, Jamie would have let her Panther out to maul her mother. As it was, she couldn’t stop a growl erupting from her throat. Leila started towards Jamie, but Katrina jumped in her way and rose both her fists.
"Get out," she snarled, the sound indicating her own Panther was just below the surface.
"Don't speak to your mother that way."
Leila said, then turning to Jamie, ignoring her younger daughter. "I've arranged everything, Jamie. It's time for you to come home. If I had known that brute was a traitor, I would never have suggested that you marry him. Now, come home so Mommy can take care of you."
"Why?" Jamie snarled at her. Her Panther beat against her chest but she forced it back. Shifting right now would be hard on her body and might even bring on labor early. Another pain wrapped around her and she glanced at her watch to see how long it had been since the last one. Five minutes. Was that normal? She forced herself to focus on Leila again. "Do you get access to my bank account if I live with you? There's not much in it – not since you wiped out the fund that Daddy left me."
Leila's eyes widened. She clutched her chest as though the accusation had hurt her. "You think I would steal from my own daughter?"
"Why not?" Jamie laughed through the pain, lingering longer than the previous wave had. "You took Emily's trust fund after she died and spent it in a month. I don't want you to have anything to do with me or my baby. Now get out of my home."
"You're not thinking clearly. It's the stress of this pregnancy. Come home and—"
"You heard her," Katrina said, black fur starting to sprout over her skin. "I saw the way you were after Emily died. You barely shed two tears."
A look of pain flashed over Leila's face. She shook her head and took a step back. "Just because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve doesn't mean I don't care. You're all alone here. You need to come home so that we can make sure you have the proper medical attention. I've already spoken to a doctor and midwife. They've both agreed to come stay at my mansion—"
"Our mansion," Katrina interrupted. "It belongs to Jamie and me. Not you. And you had better start packing because we're not going to let you stay there anymore."
Jamie stared in amazement at her little sister. She held her shoulders back and stared evenly at Leila, showing more confidence in herself than she had ever before.
