She prayed she wouldn't regret it. As she clasped her hands in front of her, she ran her thumb over the bands of silver on her left hand. Her marriage vows echoed in her head. She would not be the one to break them. She nodded to herself and stood proudly. Men were not the sole owners of honor.
Visions of her parents drifted into her thoughts. They had done everything they could to keep her safe. How could she throw that away? Surely she owed it to them and to herself to try to make peace with Alexander.
William leaned over his saddle, raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Katherine, my brother is a great man. But even great ones act the fool at times. His actions were not excusable, but I believe he will try to be a good husband to you if you will allow it. Listen to your heart, little sister."
Her lips quivered and she forced a smile. Was Alexander really a good man? Given time, would he be a considerate husband? He'd shown her little to indicate that thus far. Without William's pleasant manner, the days ahead would be dreary indeed. But her decision was made and she would hold to it. For their own sake and the families they loved, Alexander and she must set aside their anger and begin anew.
She nodded to William and whispered, "Take care of your leg," then waved as the men rode away. She stood in the empty courtyard for a long time before she turned back toward the keep and climbed the castle steps.
Chapter Seventeen
Alexander thrummed his fingers on the dinner table. For the third time in as many minutes, he looked toward the entrance of the great hall, waiting for Katherine. After Davey and William left, she secluded herself in her chamber and he had seen naught of her. His conscience flayed him as he thought of all the cruelties for which he had to make amends. Where should he start? He had no idea how to go about it. But he would do it. Somehow.
When she still had not appeared after several more minutes, he motioned to a girl who carried food from the kitchen. "Lass, go to my wife's chamber and bid her join me."
The flushed servant returned, twisting her apron in her hands. "M'lord, yer lady said she is weary and wishes to remain in her chamber."
He frowned and nodded in silence. It was going to be more difficult than he thought.
The next day fared no better as Katherine remained in her chamber requesting to be left alone and her midday meal brought there. Come evening, another servant relayed the message that she still did not feel well enough to dine in the lord's hall for the evening meal.
By the end of the second day, he was at a loss. Was Katherine just avoiding him, or was she truly ill? He looked across the great hall and called to a young boy. "Lad, find the healer and tell him I wish him to attend my wife." When the boy stood fixed in place, Alexander said, "Why are you just standing there? Go."
"M'lord, I—"
Alexander's brows drew together and his voice took on a sharp tone. "Do you refuse to obey the orders of your laird?"
The child's face paled, and he stammered, "N… nay, m'lord. 'Tis just… I'm afeared of him. He said I was good for naught but makin' music."
"What?"
"Yestereve, when I watched him bleed a sick mon, I… I retched. He told me my guts were nay use but for stringin' a lute. I'm afeared he may cut me open to fix old Kieran's music box."
For a moment Alexander said nothing. Then a wide grin spread across his lips and erupted into a loud chuckle.
Ah, the laughter felt good. If only Katherine were here beside him to share such silliness. He pulled a small sprig of pine from his sporran and then beckoned to the trembling boy. "Come here, lad." Tucking the bit of plant in the boy's belt, he said, "This is the badge of the MacGregor clan. The physician will not dare harm you. Tell him to seek my wife. She may have need of his healing."
The child smiled bravely and hurried from the hall.
Alexander scowled as he walked up the stairs to Katherine's chamber a short time later. Her room was the farthest one from his. As he neared it, the physician came out closing the door quietly behind him.
"Ah, Laird MacGregor, yer lady should sleep now. Ye shouldna awaken her. She told me her sleep has been fitful of late, so I gave her a strong sleepin' draught."
"What malady ails my wife? I would give much for her to be hale and herself again. I have much to say to her."
"M'lord, I am a healer of the body, no the spirit. Yer lady appears healthy, but is withdrawn and listless. 'Twould seem she pines away. Fer what, I dinna ken. I advise rest and quiet surroundings fer her. She should come round again in time. Now, with yer leave, I will prepare fer travel. I have been called away."
Nodding silently, Alexander walked to his room. Sitting before the fire with a half-filled goblet in his hand, he stared into the swaying dance of bright flames. The golden glow of the blaze likened Katherine's hair and the snap and crackle reminded him of her constant sparkle and energy. He glanced over to his bed. It still rested beside the window. There, for days on end, she had devoted herself to his care. Her gentleness and, aye, even her bit of temper had drawn him out of illness and apathy into a world of health and renewed hope.
Absently, he raised his goblet to his lips for a drink. But his wavy reflection in the wine stopped him. Aye, only a devil such as this dark visage would have mistreated such a woman so. And yet, she'd cared for him diligently in spite of his actions. Guilt gnawed at his conscience until he couldn't stand the sight of his own image any longer.
He slung the wine from the goblet. It flowed like a deep purple ribbon into the flames where it hissed and sizzled for a moment before disappearing. Whatever it took, he must undo the harm he'd done. He mustn't let his chance of happiness with Katherine vanish into the air as the wine had just done. Setting the goblet down on the stone floor, he headed for her chamber.
After he knocked gently on her door and heard no response, he quietly let himself into the room and walked over to her bed.
She lay sleeping on her side, breathing gently, with her glorious hair spread out about her. In her sleep, her face was free of worry and anger. God, how he wished she would look at him with that same sense of peace and contentment.
The white bed sheet lay draped loosely over her slender form. It puddled at her shoulders like two airy wings. She reminded him of the bright angel he had often dreamed of during his illness.
Suddenly his mind realized what his heart already knew. The angel hadn't been one of fanciful illusion, but had in fact, been real. Even as Katherine had cared for him physically, she had also lifted him out of his despair. Her whispered words and gentle touch had drawn him from those feverish, dark dreams, just as her skill as a healer had brought him back to health.
As he looked down at her, an overwhelming surge of tenderness ran through him leaving him shaken. What a fool he'd been. Only this woman could ever teach him to love.
Kneeling beside the bed, he slowly leaned over her. Ever so gently, he brushed her lips with his. Just that and nothing more. Then he sat back on his heels and gazed at her, memorizing the sight before he turned and left the room.
**
Alexander dodged blows and thrusts from two of his men. His skill with the broadsword was more than enough to fend off their attack. Methodically, he worked them back towards the inner castle wall, but even knowledge of his impending win did naught to ease his troubled thoughts. He'd hoped this would improve his spirits. 'Twas why he'd accepted Malcolm's offer to watch the men train.
But merely standing there viewing it had left him feeling all the more unsettled. He longed for action. Thinking entering the fray would clear his head, he'd challenged two of his warriors. It hadn't worked.
His thoughts only grew more tortured, thinking of where he'd rather be. For the last three days, he'd tarried about the keep, hoping to spend time with her or that she would join him for a meal, yet Katherine had continued to keep to herself. He was frantic to see her, speak to her. But how could he convince her to accept his company without forcing her? He would never gain her trust if he coerced her to remain in his presence
. A sudden movement and flash of color caught his attention and he looked up.
Katherine stood on a small balcony shaking out a tapestry.
Hot pain sliced through his upper arm. Jerking his gaze to his left arm, he saw a red slash now seeping blood. He grit his teeth and lunged at his attackers. Swinging his sword in a broad circle, he knocked the first man's weapon from his hand and swiftly dropped to one knee as his other opponent ran toward him.
Just as the man's arms rose lifting his blade above his head, Alexander rolled forward hitting the second man's legs with his shoulder, knocking him to the ground. Before the man could move, he turned and touched the tip of his sword to the man's chest. Breathing heavily, he said, "Never leave yourself so open. Next time it may cost your life."
The man's flushed face turned grim. He nodded in silence.
Alexander withdrew his sword and shoved it into the ground. Then he reached out his right arm and helped his man rise. Looking across the field, he called out in a booming voice. "Ho, lads, your skills are improving. 'Tis been enough for one day. After you've seen to your weapons, tell the steward to break out an extra cask of ale. You've earned it."
Then gripping his left arm where the sleeve of his shirt was turning a bright crimson, he turned to Malcolm. "Friend, see that my sword is taken care of. It seems fate has answered my wish. I will seek my wife's skills to stitch this wee scratch."
**
Katherine opened her door to find Alexander standing at the threshold. The sight of his bloodied arm sent alarm spiraling through her. "Sweet Mary, Alexander, what has happened? Come, let me see to your wound."
She led him to a chair beside the fireplace and gently pulled the blood soaked fabric from his arm. Biting her lip in fear, she examined the cut and then sighed. "Thank God, 'tis not deep but will need to be stitched. How fast can one of your men return with the physician?"
Alexander shook his head. "Not soon enough. You will have to do it."
"Me? But I've only done so a few times before. I… I might do it wrong. Can no one else do it?"
He laid his right hand across her arm. "No, lass, I want no one else. My faith is in you. I trust your skill. You will not fail me."
Tears welled up in her eyes at the seeming sincerity of his words. How she had longed for him to speak to her in such a gentle tone, but never because he needed her care in such a way. She drew a deep trembling breath and nodded. "I'll need to clean the wound before 'tis stitched. Can you take off your shirt by yourself while I get my things?"
"Aye." He stretched his arms upward, pulled free of the sticky garment and tossed it to the floor.
She swallowed a lump in her throat at the sight of him. Blood covered much of his arm, smeared over part of his broad chest and mingled with the dark curling hair. Even wounded and dirty, he took her breath away. In truth, his body was simply magnificent.
Tearing her gaze from him, she hurried across the room and gathered her basket of healing herbs, linen strips, and needle. With shaking fingers, she cleaned the wound and raised her worried gaze to his face. "I have no wine here. If you wish, I will send for some. 'Twill ease a bit of the pain."
"No, lass. Your touch is all I need."
A wave of apprehension coursed through her at the thought of piercing his arm repeatedly with the needle. The last thing she wanted to do was cause him more discomfort. But without it, his wound would not heal properly. She let out a long quivering sigh, threaded the sharp instrument and fetched her candle closer so that she could see.
As she pierced his skin and felt it pull through his flesh, she threw an apologetic glance at him. His jaw tensed visibly but no sound came from his lips.
Somehow, she managed to find her voice. "I'm sorry 'tis painful. 'Twill be finished soon."
His gaze turned to her and he smiled. "Lass, I meant it when I said only your touch could take away my pain. The ache in my arm is naught compared to the pain in my heart of late. Now with your attention, both are eased." He slowly raised his right hand and caressed her face.
A single tear ran down her cheek and he wiped it away gently. "No, don't cry. I never again want you to feel sorrow because of me. I only want to bring you joy if you will let me." He pushed a strand of her hair back from her face, then placed his hand in his lap and waited.
She couldn't speak. Her heart was too full. With all of her soul, she wished it to be so. She nodded once and finished stitching his arm in silence. After she packed the area with dried meadowsweet and marigold then bound it with linen strips, she gave him a tremulous smile. "That is all 'twill need for now. But I will have to check it often."
A glint sparkled in his eyes and he grinned. "My every hour of every day will be at your disposal, my lady. Will you join me to break my fast? I may need your help to feed myself."
Katherine laughed. "Oh, I don't think that is necessary. I'm sure you will succeed without me."
His downhearted expression tugged at her heart and she relented. "Oh, all right. I can't have the laird of the castle spilling ale on himself, now can I?"
After the meal, they walked beyond the castle together. He picked a few wild flowers and gave them to her with what seemed to be an apologetic smile.
"I am sorry there is no garden at Ironwood. Would you like one? I will see it done if you wish it."
"Aye, I would like that. Thank you."
He held her hand as they walked back to the castle. When they were once again inside the keep, he said, "My lady, I won't force you to stay by my side, but will you join me for the evening meal tonight? 'Twould please me greatly to share your company."
"Aye, Alexander. I will see you then." As she walked back to her chamber, her heart felt lighter than it had in months.
**
Katherine took special care as she dressed for dinner. Humming, she smiled at her reflection in the mirror and fastened a thin silver chain with a single amethyst around her neck. The pink and silver ribbons she had twined through the braids at her temples brought additional color to her already flushed face. She looked down at her heather colored gown. Its color pleased her for it reminded her of the lovely flowers Alexander had given her on their wedding day.
A young maidservant knocked at the door and quickly entered the room. "Lady MacGregor, the laird sent me to fetch ye. He says the food grows cold and urges ye to haste. I was told to bring ye straight away."
Katherine frowned slightly. "I don't think 'tis such need to rush."
"Please, m'lady, I dinna wish to anger him."
"Aye, all right then. Let us go."
Alexander was already seated at the lord's table when she reached the great hall. Impatiently, he gestured for her to join him. He nodded to Malcolm as soon as she was seated. "Go tell the cook to bring the food, now that my wife is finally here." He turned to face her. "I fear our food may not be hot. I had hoped you would have joined me earlier."
She bristled at his words. "Faith, I didn't know you were so famished. Perhaps you should not have waited and simply eaten without me." Frowning, she added, "If my slow appearance vexes you so, perhaps I should continue to dine in my own chamber."
"No, 'tis no need for that."
He nodded as a servant approached the table carrying a large covered bowl. "Ah, at last. Here lad, set it before my wife." Turning back to her, he said, "'Tis a special dish I had prepared for you, but it doesn't keep well. 'Tis my reason for haste."
Looking down at the large container in front of her, she pasted a thin smile on her lips. Surely he didn't mean to sound so demanding. After all, he'd had the food prepared just for her. "I am sure 'twill be delicious, my lord."
He shrugged. "Not everyone cares for it." Snorting, he added, "Why, none of my own men will touch it. Is that not so, Malcolm?"
The older man grinned and nodded. "Aye, few warriors dare try it."
Katherine attempted to swallow her rising anxiety, but her stomach churned with trepidation. Sweet Mary, what was it? She darted a worried glance at her husband.
"My lord, will you join me? From the size of the bowl 'tis plenty for both of us."
"No, lass, I ordered it all for you. Come now, eat up. It grows cold."
With trembling fingers, she lifted the heavy lid from the container. Her mouth dropped open and she blinked twice. Squealing in delight, she quickly set down the lid and thrust both hands into the dish.
A small black and white kitten scrambled nimbly into her grasp to escape its temporary hiding place. Katherine immediately cuddled it against her breast with a gentle whisper and it responded with a soft purr. "Oh, you bonnie thing. You wee sweet darling."
Alexander laughed and called out above her quiet crooning. "Och, Malcolm. Have you ever seen a grown lass play with her food so?"
She beamed at him then burst into a fit of giggles. It was a moment before she could catch her breath. "Oh, Alexander, thank you. I love the wee creature. Faith, but you had me worried." Before she stopped to think of her actions, she leaned over and kissed him. The feel of his warm lips sliding over hers sent a jolt of emotion through her. Her enthusiasm and delight in his gift, coupled with his touch, left her breathless and eager for more.
He wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss. All of a sudden he jumped back with a startled oath. "What in thunder?"
She looked at him, then down at her new pet and grinned. "Even small kittens have sharp claws my lord. I fear we squeezed it more than it liked."
"Well, lass, give it to one of the maids to care for. Then we will finish what we began."
Heat flooded her face. She straightened in her seat and placed the kitten in her lap. Quickly, she passed a plate of bannocks to Alexander. "Aye… you are right. I'm quite hungry. And you?"
He arched an eyebrow and licked his lips slowly. Leaning toward her, he whispered in a husky tone. "Aye, lass, I am near starving. But 'twould seem my appetite will have to wait a bit longer. Do take pity and don't leave me to starve forever at your gate."
Highlander's Bride (Heart of the Highlander Series Book 1) Page 22
