She had never felt anything like that before. That emotion had been… far too strong to label it as such. It had been all-consuming, chasing away every sane thought she held on to since she had met Matthew. She had already begun to see that it would be difficult to keep him at arm’s length, that her heart was warming to him. But that? That profound need? How could she ever have expected it?
Thank God I was able to stop it before it went too far.
Jonet let out a breath, making her way over to her bed. Her mind was racing so fast that she did not know what to focus on. Her heart continued to pound, the lasting effect of his feverish kiss that made her entire body hot. Her toes had curled when he wrapped his arm around her waist. How he had gripped her hair in such a dominant manner… goodness, she could hardly control herself.
Yet she was happy she stopped it. Jonet was not sure why she did. Her body had wanted him, had needed every inch of him that he was willing to give.
Yet, her heart was still conflicted. When she was with him, it was easy to laugh and to smile and to think positive thoughts regarding this terrible curse, but when she was faced with how much she wanted him, how much she was beginning to like him, it felt as if it only raised the stakes.
She sat there, staring blankly out of her bedroom window while her mind ran wild. At this rate, Jonet knew she would not sleep, and she was not going to try. She needed to clear her head first.
When she was certain sufficient time had passed, Jonet left her bedroom again. She knew Matthew would not be, but she still paused to make sure he was not standing nearby. Once she saw that it was clear, she made her way down the hallway, wanting to go out into the courtyard, thinking the open air would help calm her some.
It didn’t take her long to arrive and to see that she wasn’t alone.
Jonathan was standing in the very center of the courtyard, swinging a broadsword around. She came closer, watching the way the weapon arced through the air before it descended in swift and powerful strokes. She came close enough to see the sweat running down the side of his face, disappearing under the white shirt, though he still had not noticed her.
This should be a decent distraction.
Jonet chose to sit in the bench behind him, taking care to keep her steps silent. She watched as he continued to practice, each swing of the sword growing clumsier and slower until he finally came to a stop, heaving. He wiped at his brow, lowering the sword to his side.
“Perhaps a shorter sword would do ye well?” Jonet spoke up after a few moments.
Jonathan whirled to face her, surprise stark on his face. “Jonet! When did ye get here?”
“I’ve been here for about five minutes now, just watchin’ ye.” She tilted her chin at the sword in his hand. “Ye’re pretty good at that.”
Jonathan looked down on the sword and huffed a laugh. He rubbed the back of his head, the tips of his hair heavy with sweat, as he came to sit next to her. “I’m nothin’ compared to me Uncle, though.”
“Go easy on yerself,” she spoke lightly. “It takes a lot of practice to be as good as the war chieftain, ye ken.”
“Aye,” Jonathan said, sighing. “And yet all these years of practice havenae done me much justice.”
“Ye’re bein’ too negative. How did ye fare against Dougal during yer spar?”
“He won, of course.”
“Of course,” she nodded without hesitation, earning a surprised lifting brow from Jonathan. “But that shouldnae be yer main focus. How long did ye last against him? And what did he say after it was over?”
Jonathan’s eyes slid to the side in thought. “He dinnae say much. He was too excited to spar with Laird MacLagain. But our spar went on for the better part of an hour before it came to an end.”
“The last time I watched ye two spar, he had ye on yer bum in ten minutes,” Jonet pointed out.
Jonathan chuckled deeply. “Ah, right. I get yer point loud and clear.”
“And look at ye.” She pushed him playfully. “Ye are up in the middle of the night trainin’. It takes a lot of dedication to drag yerself out of bed like that. I ken I wouldnae be able to do it.”
“It’s nothin’ like that. To be honest, I just couldnae sleep and so I thought I could train a bit to wear me out.”
“Somethin’ on yer mind?” Jonet asked.
Jonathan leaned back on the bench, taking a deep breath. Slowly, he shook his head. “It isnae anythin’. I’m just thinkin’ about me Maither and the rest of me siblings. I wonder how they’re doin’.”
“Ye havenae gone to visit them?”
“Nae in a while. They’re all havin’ their own families and their own lives that I daenae think they give me much thought. I’d probably be a burden to them if I visited.”
Jonet huffed a laugh and watched as Jonathan looked at her in surprise. “Nonsense,” she dismissed the idea. “I’m sure yer Maither would be happy to see ye. And I’m sure she misses ye too. Ye should go to see her when ye have the time. Besides,” she gave him a mischievous grin, “when she hears that ye plan to have yer own family one day, I’m sure that’ll make her even happier.”
“Me own family?”
“Ye do wish to get married, daenae ye?”
Jonathan nodded slowly. “It is a wish of mine, yes.”
That surprised her. Not because he wanted to get married, but because she had not expected him to answer her so honestly. In all the time she had known Jonathan, she knew that he was not a very forthcoming person. He was rather tame when compared to the boisterous nature of Dougal and Laird MacLagain, with very neutral expressions only breaking for a smile now and again. At first, she thought he was rather boring. After that, she figured he was only taciturn. Now, she wondered if she had him wrong all this time.
“Yer handsome,” she told him when she realized she had paused for too long. “And yer kind and strong. I daenae think ye’ll have any issue finding yerself a wife. Why, I wouldnae be surprised if there was a maid in this very Castle who fancied ye.”
“Now ye’re the one spouting nonsense,” Jonathan chuckled. Jonet laughed along. He looked at her, his smile slipping a bit as he asked, “And what about ye? What’s been botherin’ ye?”
“What makes ye say that?”
“It’s very obvious that ye have somethin’ on yer mind. Tell me what it is. Maybe I’ll be able to help.”
Jonet hesitated. She was not very keen on expressing her indecisiveness to someone she was not very closed to. If it had been Christal, her mother, or even Freya, Jonet would not have hesitated. Yet perhaps Jonathan, as another man, would be able to help sort through her thoughts.
She sighed softly. “Well, I ken ye are aware that I’ve been courtin’ Matthew. But, I daenae ken if I should consider marriage to him.”
“Ah… I see.” Suddenly, she was eager to hear what he would say. She watched as he folded his fingers before him, his hands resting on the flat part of his sword. “I’m surprised this has been botherin’ ye, actually. Ye’ve always been so headstrong in yer decisions so I never expected ye to be givin’ this so much thought.”
“Is headstrong only a bonnie way of sayin’ I’m stubborn?” she wondered aloud.
Jonathan grinned. “Take it how ye will. But I think the answer is clear.”
Jonet held her breath. “Which is?”
“Do what yer heart tells ye to.”
And let it go. “That isnae as easy as ye think it is.”
“Nay, it isnae,” Jonathan said with a nod. “But if ye keep that in the back of yer mind, then yer decisions will be made clearer. Are ye worried about Matthew?”
Not knowing how else to answer that question, which would require a far more complicated response than a yes or a no, she simply nodded. Jonathan nodded as well, as if she had confirmed his suspicions.
“If yer instincts daenae trust him then ye should listen to it. They’ve never been wrong before, have they?”
“They’ve never been particularly right either,” she murmure
d.
“Still, yer heart always ken when someone is right for ye. A person who muddles yer mind and makes ye worried may nae be the right one. Ye should marry someone ye can turn to, someone ye can talk to at ease.”
Jonet sighed, staring down at the ground before them. He could be right, she knew. Having someone that kept her up at nights the way Matthew did may be a sign that he was not the one for her. There was also the arrow that had been shot at him… she could not get it out of her head no matter how much she tried. Her mind nagged her that the curse was real.
She gave him a curious look. “Ye ken… I never noticed how thoughtful ye are. And good at advice too.”
“Keep peelin’ back the layers, Jonet, and ye might see somethin’ ye daenae like.”
Jonet blinked. Jonathan stared back at her, his face straight, before it broke into an awkward smile. “I’m jestin’.”
She breathed a laugh, uncertain. “Ye are? Ye said that so intensely, I couldnae tell.”
He’s so different from Matthew. Matthew has always managed to make me laugh. Goodness, I should stop thinkin’ about him.
“Ah, well, jokes have never been me strong suit.”
“It’s sweet of ye to try anyway. I feel a little better.” With a sigh, Jonet rose to her feet. “Thank ye, Jonathan. Ye’ve really cleared a lot of things up for me.”
He stood with her. “I’m happy to help, Jonet. Ye just call me whenever ye need advice again. I’m learnin’ I’m very good at those too.”
She chuckled. “So confident all of a sudden, are we?”
“Thanks to a certain someone.” He grinned.
“Well, I am happy to be of help. Will ye continue trainin’?”
“Nay, I think I’ve worked up enough of a sweat to tire me out for sleep. I’ll walk ye back to yer room,” he offered.
Jonet hesitated a moment, before she nodded. She could not stop the image of Matthew popping into her mind, staring down at her with those green eyes, dark with desire.
They set off in silence at first, but then conversation broke out once they were well on their way. It was light and easy, the continued distraction she needed as they took the same path she had earlier with Matthew and memories flooded her mind. Soon enough, they arrived at her room and Jonathan bid her goodbye.
This time, when Jonet walked over to her bed, she had a little more confidence in her ability to sleep. She slipped under the covers and let out a sigh, hoping that confidence was well placed. Though in a matter of minutes she had slipped into sleep’s warm embrace, but her dreams filled with heated kisses and a forbidden touch.
The morning was far too bright for Matthew’s liking. He was in a crabby mood, and after a night of tossing and turning through fitful sleep, he was hardly surprised. He glared at the sunshine flooding his room, as if the angry stare could will it away. After a while, he sat up and let out a sigh.
His mind instantly went to Jonet.
Matthew was hardly surprised by it and he did not think very much of it, either. After all, the entire reason he was lying in such a large, comfortable bed was because the woman he was trying to seduce had finally invited him to stay. A major step in his plan to take the Lairdship… and yet, there was unease in his heart.
He told himself it was because he was not unsure where they stood any more, and so he did not know what move to make next. He ignored the pang of agitation that he might have done something wrong last night, and the growing concern that Jonet was not as well as she had claimed she was. She could not hide her emotions that easily but, at the same time, he didn’t know if her sudden retreat had been because of him.
God, if I havenae figured it out yet then sittin’ here like a fool isnae goin’ to make it any easier. I should see her.
He was desperate to see her. After returning last night, he had lain in his bed acutely aware of how large it was. How perfectly she would have fitted next to him, and how the odd loneliness he felt would have been gone in an instant.
She can continue to push me away but I’m nae goin’ to back down.
Determination coursed through him at the thought, but he was still a little agitated, not knowing what was to come when he saw her next. He reached for the wine sitting by his bed. He poured himself a goblet full, hoping the rush of alcohol would make him ready for the day ahead of him.
He had just lifted it to his lips when he smelled something odd. Matthew lowered the goblet, frowning. He sniffed the wine, noticing that there was a bitter scent to it, one that he was certain had not been there before.
It couldnae be… could it?
He sniffed it again, horror dawning on him. He had this wine by his bed for some time now, often times having a drink before he retired to sleep. It had never smelled like this. Almost as if it had been… tampered with.
Matthew picked up the bottle and carried both it and the goblet to the window. After peeking over to ensure no one was down below, he emptied it all, until there was not a single drop inside. His heart seemed to sink with it, as his mind grew used to the idea that he might have narrowly missed being poisoned.
I’m only overthinkin’. Maybe the wine went bad.
Telling himself that the wine he had been given from the Laird’s household had gone bad was not an easy feat, but Matthew did not know what else to do. He could not deny that it was odd, and the fact that he was not the only person who had access to this room made the situation all the more curious.
There’s nothin’ I can do about it now. I most certainly cannae tell Jonet about this though.
His consoling thoughts did nothing to stop the tremor of unease that shook his body as he dressed. He stared at the empty bottle the entire time, as if it would reveal to him why the wine had such an unusual smell. Yet the questions remained when he left his bedroom and he pushed it to the back of his mind as he made his way down to the stables. It was still early, early enough for him to clear his mind with a horse ride before breakfast.
“Matthew!”
Matthew grinned at the chipper voice, watching as Georgie rushed over to him. “Arenae ye in a good mood today?” he said by way of greeting.
“Ye ken I’m always in a good mood,” Georgie smiled. There were bits of hay in his hair and when Matthew looked up at it, he caught wind. He quickly brushed it out with his hands. “Sorry. I was cleanin’ up the stalls just now.”
“So early?” Matthew swept his gaze around the stables. “Ye’re the only one here.”
“I like to get up early,” Georgie said. “Learned it from me Faither. He was always the first one to begin workin’ so I will too.”
“Yer dedication is commendable, I must say.”
Georgie beamed at that. “What brings ye by so early then? Ye want to ride out to the village again?”
“Nay,” Matthew shook his head. They continued along, stopping only when they got to Temper, who watched them with steady black eyes. “I thought I could go out for a ride before breakfast. I need to clear me head.”
“Ye have somethin’ botherin’ ye, Matthew?” Georgie asked.
“Ye could say that.”
“What’s it about? Maybe I can help?”
Matthew shook his head again. “I doubt it. And besides, I wouldnae ken where to start.”
Whether it was working through how to deal with Jonet or trying to get to the bottom of the odd smelling wine, Matthew was sure Georgie would be as clueless as he was.
“Ye shouldnae underestimate me, Matthew,” Georgie spoke confidently. “Almost everyone in this manor passes through the stables at least once or twice. I may be able to help ye more than ye think.”
“Is that so?” Matthew grinned, deciding to take his word for it. “Well then, what do ye think I should do to win Jonet’s heart?”
Georgie did not falter, not for a single moment. If anything, he seemed to stand a bit straighter as if he had prepared himself for this moment and didn’t want to disappoint. “Miss Jonet is much gentler than she pretends to be. All ye need to do is
be kind to her.”
“Kind, ye say?”
“I think so,” he said with an affirmative nod. Looking at him now, Matthew was very aware of his age and his obvious lack of experience. He doubted being kind to her would get him where he wanted to go. “She’s been through a lot,” Georgie continued. “So ye should give her space but make sure to be there for her when she needs it. I think if ye are too forceful, she’ll only run.”
Matthew’s brows lifted in surprise. Now that was better advice than he had expected to receive.
“Space, ye say?” he wondered aloud. It was true that he had not given her much of that since arriving there. If anything, he had been a little pushy, dragging her around behind him despite her many protests. Even though Matthew did not regret his actions, maybe there was some merit to Georgie’s words, especially since he wasn’t sure where he stood with Jonet right now.
Highlander's Trials of Fire: A Steamy Scottish Historical Romance Novel Page 12
