by Vivian Lux
Loud Rowdy Hearts
A Kings of Crown Creek prequel
Vivian Lux
Copyright © 2018 by Vivian Lux
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Created with Vellum
For my readers. I like you.
To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
Contents
1. Gabe
2. Gabe
3. Gabe
4. Finn
5. Gabe
6. Gabe
7. Beau
8. Gabe
9. Jonah
Thank you!
Also by Vivian Lux
Chapter One
Gabe
Some people drink to forget.
But I always remember.
Even in the blissful oblivion of my worst blackout, I still know who I am.
I’m a King.
There’s no running away from that. But I wasn’t running away right now.
I was just walking. Walking very fast.
“Fuck,” I hissed. The door to the green room was locked. I darted a look over my shoulder at the sound of an unseen door slamming closed. Sound was weird down here, so I couldn’t tell if it was close by or far away, but the noise was enough to send me rushing to the next door.
Also locked.
“Son of a - ” I caught myself before the echo of my curse betrayed my location. Down here in the tunnels, there were always crewmembers wandering around, searching for a bathroom or a place to sneak a covert smoke break before the show.
Or sent on a mission to find me.
I was almost praying by the time I reached the third door. Dear God, just a moment, just one moment of escape…
It swung open easily, without even a squeak of hinges to betray me.
I exhaled a sharp, relieved breath. Reaching into the darkness, I felt around until I located a light switch and flicked it on, then checked quickly behind me to make sure none of the crew had chosen this moment to appear. The last thing I needed was someone wondering what the fuck I was doing. I wasn’t even really sure myself.
I just knew I needed to do it alone.
I shut the door behind me. Finally, everything was quiet.
The lights took their time flickering on, like they were reluctant to show me where I’d ended up. When they finally did hum to life, I smiled.
I had stumbled into the room where they were storing our band equipment before the show. All along the wall, neatly stacked - because our crew was as professional as anything - were the cases for guitars, amps and pedals just waiting for load out. Every one of them stenciled with the King Brothers logo, the little crown above the K that we thought was so cool when we first started out.
Of course we’d thought it was cool, we were kids.
Now it just looked embarrassing.
But the boxes and crates were silent, and that’s what I needed right now. Silence. They’d sit here hidden in this room until the show was over.
Sounded like a good idea to me.
“Fuck,” I breathed, letting my head fall back against the door. Somewhere on the other side, my brothers were probably looking for me.
I just needed a moment. I walked over and hefted myself on to the big padded box that stored the drum kit.
And pulled the flask from my pocket.
One shot, two shots. I didn’t have a glass so I just poured the whiskey right down my throat and estimated. When I got to four shots worth burning in my belly, I stopped.
Because I still had control, you see.
I wasn’t looking to get drunk. I was just…
Happy.
Yeah, that’s it. A little something to make it all more fun, because it sure didn’t feel fun sober any more.
I leaned over onto one of the stacked boxes, resting my head on my elbow. Let the whiskey do its work.
The soft sighing sound of the door swinging open didn’t rouse me but soft hands shaking me gently awake did. “Hey baby,” Noelle whispered softly.
I lifted my head. With the fluorescent lights shining behind her head, she looked just like she was wearing a halo. “Hey there angel,” I murmured, already smiling.
“Been looking for you.”
“You found me,” I said, opening my arms.
She giggled a little and then climbed up on to the box next to me. I shimmied over, making room for her to fold herself into the small space. She fit just right.
She was quiet for a moment, and I felt my eyes closing again. “Gabriel?” she said softly, after a moment.
“Hmm?”
“Babe, did you forget you have a show to play?”
I hadn’t. But it didn’t seem nearly as important as staying here on top of this box with my best girl in my arms. “I do?” I stalled.
She giggled again, snuggling closer so that strands of her white-blond hair went up my nose. I sniffed and pulled my head back before I sneezed. “Gabriel,” she said. “Come on. You’re going to be great.”
I swallowed. For some reason, I always believed her when she said that.
Bennett had set us up, laughing about how he was a full-service manager. And yeah, maybe it was a calculated move at first, two pop stars with the same manager dating each other for the publicity. But it was so much more than that now. I needed Noelle St. Lucia more than I needed air itself. “Did my brothers send you?” I sighed.
This time her giggle was louder. “Your brothers hate me.”
I felt the heat in my blood even as I chuckled, “They do not.”
“Jonah despises me, I can see it all over his face.”
The pleasant whiskey haze wore off immediately at the mention of my older brother and his opinions. Especially those that concerned my girl. “If he even says a word to you, even looks at you the wrong way,” I reminded her for maybe the millionth time. “You let me know.”
She rolled over to face me, her big blue eyes the whole entirety of what made sense right now. “Yeah right,” she said, bopping me lightly on the nose. “I’m not about to be wedge that drives apart the King Brothers. Your fans would crucify me.”
“Don’t care,” I sighed, leaning in for a kiss.
But she ducked away. “And your fans are gonna crucify you if you don’t get up there and play right now. Come on big boy,” she said, patting me before sliding off the box and reaching out a hand. “Up and at ‘em.”
I groaned only once as she tugged me to my feet. I let her fuss over me a minute, smoothing my shirt collar and re-spiking my smashed hair. “You look good,” she finally said, stepping back.
“You look good,” I said, lunging for her.
She stepped lightly to the side, those years of competitive dancing kicking in to evade my grabby hands. “Your brothers are all upstairs in the green room, waiting. Show time is five minutes, I think.” She pulled out her rose gold phone case. “Four,” she corrected.
“I love you,” I said.
She smiled and went up on her tiptoes, kissing me with those lush, pouty lips. Then she patted my ass firmly. “Go.”
Chapter Two
Gabe
I was so late that there was no time for anyone to comment on where I’d gone or what I’d been doing. My harried looking tech just slung the guitar strap over my neck and gave me a not so gentle shove out into the spotlight.
I blinked, wavering a second. But years of practice kicked in like muscle memory and I ju
st lifted my hand.
The screams from the crowd climbed higher, assaulting my eardrums. I ducked away, but in the process I caught sight of my brothers.
Jonah was at the mic facing out into the crowd, but his eyes were on me, glaring through narrowed slits. Beau was way back at the keyboards on the other end of the stage, but I could tell by the stiff, still way he was holding his shoulders that he was poised for trouble.
Of course, Finn was grinning as he let his fingers play over the bass. He was expecting drama because lately that’s all I’d been giving them.
I told myself I didn’t care. Fuck them was my mantra these days. But it was a lot easier to believe that when I was away from them and the blood they shared with me. It was much harder when I was in the same room with them. When could read their thoughts and feel their disappointment.
Always the fucking disappointment.
But Noelle’s kiss was still lingering on my lips and because of that, nothing could possibly be wrong tonight.
So I gave all three of them a big smile. “Hey guys,” I said into the mic so the crowd could hear me. “Nice of you to show up.”
Laughter bubbled up from the crowd. Jonah looked like he wanted to argue, but he knew a good line when he heard one. “Sorry to make you wait, Gabe,” he retorted, to further laughter. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Beau’s shoulders slump in relief. “Ready to do this?” Jonah prompted.
These days, when I looked at Jonah, it didn’t feel like I was looking at a person anymore. The brother who’d been my idol, my guiding light, was gone, swallowed up by ambition and a desperate need for stardom at whatever cost. I looked at him now and I saw nothing of the nights spent in the outbuilding on the edge of our property, writing our songs and dreaming of the future. I just saw a thorn in my side.
A real prick, more like it.
But if he was a professional, then I was too, dammit. So I smiled at him and lifted my chin. “Born ready,” I replied.
Screams of approval washed over us. I glanced down at the camera guy crouched in the wings, capturing the side of my face to project it up on to the monitors. I gave a practiced grin, the one that showed my stupid dimple and the crowd went apeshit.
“How ‘bout you, are you ready?” Jonah hollered into the mic. The screams grew deafening. I looked back at the hired drummer and nodded.
Even though it was getting harder and harder to care, I still didn’t want to disappoint them. Jonah, Beau, Finn, but most of all Noelle, all counted on me to do my job, night after night after night. I was a King Brother, after all.
So I did it. I played my guitar. I sang my harmonies. I posed and preened and pointed at the screaming teenaged girls who’d grown up loving us. I made them believe I loved them too, because that was my job most of all.
*
When the show was finally over, Noelle was waiting in the wings, clapping excitedly. I made a beeline for her, needing to feel her hands on my body. When I was out there, I felt scattered, like the crowd had torn me to pieces. I needed her touch to put me back together.
“Gabe!” Jonah called as I pushed past him. “Hang on a sec!”
I pretended I hadn’t heard him. Call me a fucking coward, but I preferred Noelle’s soft kisses to my older brother’s sharp words. A headache was starting to form behind my eyes. I needed a bed, and my girl.
And maybe another drink.
But there was no avoiding any of my brothers. Not when your life is led on the road. Tour buses might look big on the outside, but there’s nowhere to hide on the inside.
My bunk was way in the back, sitting right over the engine because I claimed I didn’t mind the noise. It was the most private place on the bus, and I found the sway of it soothing, especially with Noelle snuggled along the length of my body.
She was talking about the show, breaking down the places she thought I’d messed up, or in her words, “where you could step it up.” I wasn’t really listening. Her nightly post mortems irritated Jonah to no end, so I let her talk just for the pleasure of hearing him grinding his teeth from his bunk.
“And you should be the singer,” she said, and from the sound of her voice she was repeating herself.
“Babe,” I sighed. From over in his bunk, Jonah swore softly.
She pushed up on her elbow and looked at me. I couldn’t help but smile even though her face was deadly serious. I loved the way she looked at me. Not the way that everyone else in my life looked at me. Like they were calculating the exact amount of money I can make them.
Noelle looked at me the way people back in Crown Creek looked at me. Like I was just a… guy.
Her lower lip was starting to jut though, and I knew she wanted an answer. My head fell back on the pillow. “I’m not a singer,” I repeated, for what felt like the millionth time.
“Gabriel,” she grumbled. “Come on.”
Guilt twisted in my gut. “You really want to do this?”
“Yes!” she hissed, truly exasperated now. “Don’t you think it’s a good idea?”
I didn’t, not at all, and I’d told her this. It wasn’t like I didn’t think she could sing. It’s that I knew I couldn’t. “My voice isn’t great, babe,” I reminded her. “I’m good at harmonies, but - “
“Baby,” she wheedled, sliding her hands up my chest. “You know that’s not true.”
Her hands slid up to my shoulders and then traveled lower. She grinned when my stomach tightened under her touch. “What if I just play back-up for you?” I bargained, trying to keep my head straight. “On your album. How about that?”
Her hands slid lower and my cock jumped, lengthening in my jeans. Noelle snuck a quick glance and grinned in triumph. “A duet,” she said firmly. “I really want to sing with you. Blend our voices like we’ve blended our lives.”
From Jonah’s bunk came the sound of retching.
If her fingers tracing over my jeans hadn’t sealed the deal, the sound of my brother’s disgust clinched it. “Fine baby. Happy anniversary then.” Her eyes widened and I grinned. “You thought I forgot.”
“I didn’t think that,” she corrected quickly. “I believe in you, you know I do.”
That was why she was the best. Why every time I looked at her, the question popped up in my mind. Will you marry me?
I pulled her close again. I wasn’t asking yet. She deserved a big flowery spectacle, a story she could brag about to the tabloids. But it was hard for me to come up with that type of idea. As weird as it sounded, I really didn’t go in for that kind of thing.
Deep down inside, I’m just a guy from Crown Creek, a fading town in rural New York. The forgotten part of the state where four local boys making it so big was the last source of pride the town had left.
A King wedding would be in the news for months. I could imagine marrying her in the house I grew up in, standing near the edge of the property, where the creek arced a little oxbow, leaving a spit of land jutting outward. “The cliff” we’d called it as kids.
But even as I pictured her in a white dress trailing across my parents’ lawn, I knew it would take some convincing. Noelle hadn’t come home with me yet. Every break in touring that we’d had while a couple, she’d begged to go off to far-flung destinations. “Hey babe?” I whispered into her hair.
“Mmm?” She was falling asleep and her voice was pouty. “Gabriel, come on.”
“Sorry,” I whispered, pulling her closer. “Good night.”
Chapter Three
Gabe
I glanced over to the wings. The only things keeping me from crawling out of my skin with nervousness were the pills Bennett had handed me this morning right before disappearing. They kept the anxiety at bay, but my brain was still stuck on one thought.
Where was Noelle?
And then, suddenly, she was there, appearing like a mirage in the desert. One minute she wasn’t there, and the next minute she was sitting cross-legged on the floor to watch my sound check.
I breathed a sigh of relief. It did
n’t matter where she’d been all day, because she was here now. The tight, sick ache behind my eyes eased up when I saw her. If only a little bit.
“We good?” I asked the sound engineer.
He switched the house mic on, “Yeah Gabe, sounds good on my end.”
“I’d like to hear channel two again?” Jonah broke in. I shot him a glare and caught him staring straight ahead, jaw clenched.
“It sounds good. You heard the man,” I tried to joke.
But Jonah only shook his head stiffly, still not looking at me. And all at once it dawned on me what he was doing.
Keeping me at sound check. Keeping me away from Noelle.
I lifted my guitar off of me and shoved it in the direction of my waiting tech. “Fuck this shit,” I hissed. The hangover had only gotten worse as the day went on, and the bright lights were starting to play havoc with my brain cells. I needed my girl and I needed a drink, in that order. “The man says we’re good, I’m good. See you tonight, Jonah.”
“Gabe!” Beau called, but I was already moving. Noelle giggled as I twined my fingers with hers and started off, pulling her down into the rabbit warren of hallways that tunneled under this arena. I hadn’t seen her since last night. She hadn’t been there when I woke on the bus this morning.
The green room for this arena smelled like the ghost of every nervous pre-show cigarette ever smoked, but it had a couch and that’s all I wanted. I collapsed into it and reached out for her, tugging her arm. “Babe,” I sighed, needing to taste those lips. I leaned forward, but my head throbbed in protest and I winced.
Noelle saw it in an instant. “Hey baby,” she whispered in that little pouty voice of hers I loved so much. “You not feeling good?”
“I’m fine now that you’re here,” I promised her. And it was true. She was so damn pretty, and she was all mine. She didn’t want Jonah, she didn’t want my brothers, she wanted me.
She slid into my lap, wiggling a little until she could feel me getting hard for her and then smiled against my lips. “I missed you,” she murmured, still pouty as she nipped my jaw.
I sighed and let my head fall back as she went to work, kissing that place under my ear that drove me crazy. “Missed you too,” I sighed, or maybe I didn’t say anything at all. It was hard to tell underneath the haze of pain in my body and pills in my blood.
