“My Boy Lollipop,” she murmured.
He laughed softly as she captured him in her mouth and worked her tongue all around the tip, taking in the sweetness of him mixed with the slight bitterness of the dark chocolate. He moaned and twisted until he came in a grinding torrent. Fawn held fast, would not release him until he was completely spent.
Or so she thought, but he soon rose up and thrust into her with renewed strength. Fawn let herself be wound up again, cherishing every twitch and kiss and ripple of pleasure. They finished together and fell upon each other, breathing in a hard, sweaty rhythm.
“Damn, that was almost too good!” Taury decided, reaching down to sweep her hair away from her eyes. “Did you break any glass? I was too busy to hear it if you did?”
“You know I didn’t! But I don’t doubt your Harper heard every noise we made!”
“Ah, I don’t care! Next time I’ll invite her in, and let you show her how it’s done!”
Fawn sat up, her ego injured. “Oh, no you won’t!”
He scooted close, pulled her down on his sticky chest. “I was kidding, Fawn! Don’t take me so seriously. You‘re the only woman I want. I’ve proven that, haven’t I?”
“Yes, but don’t joke about her, or anyone else. I can’t bear to even think of sharing you with someone.”
“You’ll never have to, I swear to that!”
She calmed down, realized then how messy they were.
“Oh, wow, how are we going to get out of here looking and smelling like this?”
“I’ve got a bathroom with a shower in there.” His gaze pointed to a set of double doors. “I also have a bedroom up here but I rarely use it.”
“That’s convenient. Oh, it just occurred to me … but what are we going to wear to this Venetian ball?”
“I hadn’t thought about that. I guess a trip to a costume store is in order.”
“This might be fun, after all, Taury.”
She giggled with nervous excitement, though Taury seemed unconvinced.
By evening the old mansion was lit up like a Christmas tree. The white-paneled ball room was draped with streamers and lacy paper globe lights and colorful banners heralding the guests. They all began to arrive around eight; a steaming hot buffet was lined up in the dining room, waiting there to entice and enjoy. Fawn and Taury had sneaked in earlier to taste the myriad of delights – meats and seafood and glammed up vegetables and some swanky pasta dishes otherwise known as casseroles in less pretentious circles; plus cakes and cookies and even ice cream.
Now the two of them hid at the top of the stairs, wondering if they really wanted to brave the tedious atmosphere of political jargon and false familiarity.
“Should we go down?” Fawn asked him, while her eyes danced all over his commanding presence. He was dressed exquisitely in a white shirt with ruffled collar under a smart black waistcoat and doublet. His pants were 17th Century, dark gray, tight and lean, with black knee boots finishing the Romantic Poet look.
Fawn was sexier than hell, or so Taury had said, in a scarlet gown with puffed sleeves and sparkling sequins running from her shoulder on one side across her midriff and down around her hip on the other. Her cleavage was quite pronounced – which surprised her since she hadn’t realized she had any. Her chestnut hair was twirled up and pinned loosely with ringlets dangling here and there.
Both of them wore a mask that complimented the colors of their costumes.
“I guess we might as well make our appearances. But I don’t want to stay long. I thought I’d be worn out after that escapade in my office but damn, woman, if you haven’t got me hard again, wearing that getup! All I want to do is chase you into a bedroom somewhere and peel it off of you, layer by layer!”
Fawn shook off a sudden case of goose-bumps, savoring the vision he inspired.
“Sounds like heaven! Taury, hold my hand as we go, will you? I’m afraid I’ll trip in this gown. I can’t even see my shoes!”
He bowed, took her hand and graciously escorted her down the stairs. They passed politely through the incoming crowd, made their way into the ballroom. A band, also in costume, was playing a strange, classical version of an 80s tune. People were dancing, badly, or drinking, a lot, or clustering in groups about the edges of the room, conversing no doubt about politics and money.
Finally, the Queen made her entrance. She was breathtaking in a golden gown covered in sparkling stones, immaculate make-up, a feathered mask and a tall, glistening white wig. The guests gasped in unison then broke into applause. Elizabeth accepted it as humbly as a royal could.
She walked straight to Taury and Fawn, nodded her hello.
“You look beautiful, Mother,” he said in a tired voice. “But then you always do.”
“Thank you, dearest. I admire your choice in costume, Ms. Hamilton; the scarlet woman, indeed.”
“I’m glad you like it. Yours suits you well, too. Reminds me of Marie Antoinette, though I should think she was quite a bit younger than you when she dressed that well.”
“Hum, beauty is ageless, or haven’t you heard?”
A man in a tuxedo stepped forward; judging by his used car salesman smile Fawn assumed he was a politician.
“Good Evening, Mrs. Trahern. Could I offer you your first dance of the night?”
“Of course, Senator Blanchett; I’d be honored. See you two later, I’m sure. Oh, and Ms. Hamilton, I think I have a surprise for you, lurking about somewhere.”
She sauntered off with the senator, leaving Fawn puzzled and Taury furious.
“What did she mean by that?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I’m sick of the way she talks trash to you. Though I do love how you throw it right back at her. I want to go up to your bedroom now.”
“Oh, not even one dance? I’ve never danced at a ball before.”
“All right, maybe just one.”
He bowed again then set his arm about her waist and took her right hand in his left. They swayed to the music; everything and everyone around them became a blur of colors and shapes. Fawn sighed as he clung to her, chest to chest. He was watching her cleavage rise and fall. She could just imagine the delights that awaited her once he got her back upstairs.
Then it hit her – that damned pain. She stopped dancing, huddled over in a vain attempt to quench it.
“Fawn, are you okay? Should I take you to the hospital?”
“No, no, it’ll pass. Let me sit down somewhere quiet.”
He nodded, helped her away from the staring crowd, and into Elizabeth’s study.
THIRTEEN
Taury eased Fawn down into a wing chair and knelt beside her.
“I knew I should’ve called another doctor. We can’t let this go on. What if it’s something really serious? I don’t want to lose you…”
His voice trailed off; tears welled in the blue eyes. He tore the mask off, tossed it in the floor. Fawn removed her mask, placed a comforting hand on his cheek.
“I was a fool to wait this long. But I just couldn’t face being in a doctor’s office again.”
“Sit back and rest. I’ll call 911.”
He hurried to the desk, picked up a phone. Fawn tried to relax the breath she’d been holding. The pain was ten times worse than before, and she could feel something hot running over her inner thighs. She discreetly lifted the gown, saw blood trailing down her ankles and into her shiny red heels.
“A period?” she thought. “That’s what’s causing this pain?” But she knew in her heart that it was more. She had felt this kind of desperate, imminent loss in the past.
“Hurry, Taury,” she pleaded.
The study door opened; to her shock two very familiar forms came through – her parents! They were dressed in regular evening clothes, and wore no masks. Both seemed terribly somber.
“Mom? What are you … oh, are you the surprise Mrs. Trahern was talking about?”
“I suppose we must be. We were amazed when she called and personally asked us t
o come up here.”
Taury slammed the phone down. “I can’t believe they put me on hold! Did you say my mother asked you here?”
“Yes,” her father answered. He looked odd to Fawn, not his usual, assured self. Some mystery was gnawing at him, wounding his pride.
“Your mother wants us to take Fawn home, to San Diego.”
“That’s ridiculous, Mom. I’m not a child to be taken home. Who does she think she is?”
“She’s someone powerful, who can ruin a man’s life, I should think,” Kent Brennan said. Fawn stared at him.
“Are you talking to me now, Dad?”
“Yes, Fawn, I am. And I want to ask you to come with us now, with no more questions.”
The door opened again; this time the Queen entered. She looked from one person to the next, trying to size up the situation.
“Well, here you all are! A nice, happy little reunion, hum?”
“Mother, I don’t know what the hell you’re planning, but I can’t deal with it right now! Fawn is in pain.” Something caught his eye; he glanced down at her feet, saw the blood pooling under her shoes. “Oh my God! Why didn’t you say something? I’ve got to get you out of here, now!”
He grabbed her up, started out of the study.
“Wait!” Elizabeth calmly ordered. “Take her out the side door. You’ll gather less attention if you go through the courtyard to the back drive. The Bentley is parked there.”
“Fine. Are the keys in it?”
“Greg is behind the wheel. I told him to have it ready in case…”
“In case the Brennans needed a getaway car for their kidnapping? You’re a piece of work, Mother!”
June stepped forward to open the French doors. She and Kent followed Taury out.
“Hold on now, baby, just hold on!” he whispered as he carried her over a narrow stone courtyard lined with hedges. It was dimly lit; Taury missed a step. Kent leaned forward, caught them both.
“What’s wrong with her?” June asked in a shrill, unfamiliar voice.
“I don’t know. She’s been having pain for awhile, but she said it was nothing to worry about. I should’ve forced her to see a doctor, but I knew what she’d been through with that prize fool of a husband you two found for her. I guess I didn’t want her to suffer through all that again. Hold that gate back, would you?”
Kent stepped ahead, swung open the gate to the driveway.
“We’d like to ride along with you to the hospital.”
“Sure, if you keep out of the way!”
Taury was so strong. Fawn could see the determination in his eyes. He gave her a will to fight, to keep from passing out. But the pain threatened to tear her in half. She covered her mouth to quell an agonized scream.
“Taury, I’m afraid!” she cried.
“Hang on, I’ve got you! You’ll be okay!”
She watched her father’s face as they rushed by him. He seemed so old suddenly, and weak. She looked over Taury’s shoulder at her mother; was awed to see tears staining her cheeks. Did she love her, after all?
The pain was unbearable. Fawn struggled to suppress it but it was no use; the blood was draining out of her, taking all her strength. She tried to stay awake but her body only wanted to sleep, to black out the pain.
“Taury!” she sobbed. “I can’t fight it! I can’t…”
She went limp in his arms. He paused, made sure she was breathing then slid her onto the back seat and climbed in to prop her head on his chest. Kent and June crowded in on the front seat with Greg.
“Where to, Mr. Trahern?”
“Cambridge … it’s the closest!”
“Will do!”
Greg jumped the Bentley out onto the street like a horse from a starting gate.
Fawn drifted back into consciousness, everything she heard was amplified, distorted. Taury’s heart beat like thunder in her ear. She glanced up into the blue eyes, he kissed her damp forehead. Her mother’s whispers echoed round the car. “Oh, Kent, if anything should happen to her I’d never forgive myself!” To which her father muttered, “We must have faith, June.”
Faith, from someone who’d never once uttered anything akin to a prayer in the twenty two years she’d known him. Nor a please or a thank you, either, as far as she could recall. Why must people wait until the unthinkable is on the verge of happening before they show some ounce of humanity?
She focused on Taury’s face. He was calm on the exterior but a growing fear shadowed his gaze. They’d become so close these past few weeks. Not only sexually, but the conversations they’d had and the emotions and beliefs they’d shared. He was so deep in her fiber now she could not imagine being without him and she knew it must be the same for him.
“I love you, Fawn,” he breathed in her ear. “Don’t leave me. Don’t ever leave me.”
“What was it you told me? I can’t promise I won’t leave you, but I can promise I’ll always come back? Believe that, darling.”
The pain swallowed her, took her away into a dark, cold dream where the sun feared to shine and the night went on endlessly. She caught glimpses of scenes and sounds – people in white coats with blood on their tight gloves, bright ugly rectangular lights glaring at her from pale ceilings, Taury’s beautiful face offering a sad but hopeful smile; machines clicking and clocks ticking, her mother’s crying and Taury’s sweet voice softly whispering her name.
Ages later, or so it seemed, when Fawn woke, she was in a large, comfortable bed in a crisp white hospital room. It must have been long past morning but the curtains were still drawn. She felt woozy, wanted to sit up but couldn’t. There were tubes all over her.
Her abdomen was sore. She began to cry.
“Hey, calm down! I’m here; everything’s all right!”
She glanced over towards the window. Taury was lying on two chairs pulled together to make a cot. He still wore the costume from the ball, though he had shed everything but the white shirt and gray pants.
He rose quickly, came to her; pressed warm lips against hers while his hands gently wiped away the tears.
“No more crying, Fawn. You’ve passed the worst of it now!”
“What happened to me? I thought I’d died!”
“No, no, you’re fine. But brace yourself for a hard fact…”
She hesitated, though she felt she already knew what he was about to say.
“Tell me the truth…”
“You had an ectopic pregnancy, and it ruptured. They were afraid for awhile that the bleeding wouldn’t stop. They said I might lose you. I told them I wouldn’t, that you promised to come back. Then the doctors finally found a way to stop the bleeding and fixed you up.”
“I was really pregnant?”
“Yeah, I guess so, though they said a pregnancy like that can’t go to term. They figured it happened because you were so messed up inside from all the in vitro stuff.”
The realization that she had just lost Taury’s child caused the tears to flow like rivers from the corners of her swollen eyes.
“Don’t cry, Fawn. It was meant to be.”
“What kind of cruel God would do this to me again? And this time it was yours! I would’ve loved that baby so much!”
“I thought you didn’t want to share me with anyone?”
“That’s different, Taury. I wouldn’t have excluded it from our love, like Connie and Beau did with my mom. I would have cherished your baby. Do you think we could try again? Did they say we could?”
A shadow crossed his face; she knew the answer.
“Oh, God, they did a hysterectomy! I could feel that something wasn’t right inside me the moment I woke up!”
“There was no other option. You were hemorrhaging. It was the only way to save you!”
“But, don’t you see? I’m not a woman anymore!”
She began to sob violently.
“Hush, darling.” Taury lifted the sheets and her hospital gown. He bent down, kissed her bandaged abdomen.
“Being able to p
roduce a baby doesn’t make you a woman! It’s being kind and considerate and loving. And you’re all those things, and more!”
He replaced the gown and sheets then eased himself into the bed, careful not to disturb any tubes or IVs. He turned on his side and kissed her cheek.
“You’re upset, and tired, and wounded, too. Once that passes you’ll see how lucky you are just to be alive. I know I feel blessed to be able to look into your eyes again!”
She caught his gaze, peered into the deep set blue eyes, wanted to get lost in them, as if they were a calm, beckoning sea.
“I can’t make love for a long time, can I?”
“The doctor said about six or seven weeks. But I can wait. I told you before it was more than that between us. Right now I just want to take care of you. To make sure you get healthy and strong again. Then, once you’re better, I have some big plans.”
“What? Tell me, please? Give me something to look forward to.”
“Well, after the doctors’ give you the okay, we’ll get married and take an extended honeymoon. I want to show you London, and Paris, maybe Rome, too. And then we’ll go to Eze.”
“Oz? Like where the wizard lived?”
“No, Eze! It’s a beautiful old village that sits high up on a mountaintop in the South of France. I stayed at a hotel there once, by myself. I swore someday I’d go back there with the love of my life. Oh, it’s unbelievable, Fawn; a cozy room with a great big canopy bed, a fireplace, and a balcony! When you’re ready I’m going to take you out on that balcony. I’ll switch out the table and chairs for a comfy little mattress and then we can make love out there, high above the Mediterranean Sea! We’ll feel like we’re on top of the whole world!”
He was bringing her back to life, replacing the dull, empty ache in her abdomen with a thrilling hope of things to come.
“It sounds too good to be real! I can’t wait to get well now! Taury, thank you for being here. And for loving me.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“Yes, I do. You know, I went through three miscarriages while I was married to Richard and not once did he think to come to my room while I recuperated. He said I’d heal better without him. I guess he was right, though. He was never one for comforting me or saying the right words to help me feel better about myself.”
Losing Control Page 8
