Were-

by Seanan McGuire

  Beth considered lying, but decided there were other ways to stall. “She turned into a Were-Pomeranian.”

  Laurence made a sound of disgust and put his flute to his lips. He played another tune. Beth winced. “Did you take lessons?” she asked politely.

  Laurence stopped mid-tune. “Yes.” He sounded shocked. “Why do you ask?”

  “You’re kind of flat. Or sharp. I’m not sure which, but since I don’t think a flute can be tuned, it’s got to be you.”

  “They can, too.” He stared at her. “You weren’t, ah, affected by the music?”

  “Only in that it was painful.” Beth looked him right in the eyes. “I know who you are.”

  Laurence managed a smirk. “And who is that?”

  “You’re the Petit Pied Piper. Though you’ve lost the petit part. You’re a lot taller than I’d have expected.”

  “I lost it through my experiments,” he said rather grandly. “Experiments you’ll be a part of.” He grabbed Beth’s arm.

  She didn’t look to James for help. Aunt Cil was big on self-defense and she’d spent a lot of time drilling Beth into how to protect herself. Beth slammed her knee into Laurence’s groin, then kicked at his knee while she wrenched herself away from him.

  He staggered and Beth backed up. Into James, who grabbed and held her upper arms more tightly than Laurence had. “You have to stay now,” he said quietly. “It’ll be safer and I don’t want you to get hurt. Besides, every team needs a girl in it.”

  “Why is that?” Beth asked.

  “To make the food and bring the snacks and answer the phone. And, um, you know, maybe…you could be my girlfriend.”

  He’d never been stupid like this before. Beth presumed this was Laurence’s influence. “The heck with that.” Beth stomped on his foot and slammed her head back into his face while slamming her elbows back at the same time. James let go, howling. Beth leaped away from him, but Laurence was playing his flute and the other boys had surrounded them. They looked more like zombies than they had before.

  “You broke my nose!” James was holding his face and there was definitely blood.

  “You’re supposed to be my friend, not someone trying to force me to do things against my will!”

  “But it’s going to be so cool,” James said, as he used a handkerchief to sop up the blood. “We’re going to be the New Masters of Doom, taking up the mantle after the demise of the Doom Squad who took over from the original Masters of Doom. We’ll take on the Super Team, and the Amazeballs, maybe both at once. Don’t you want in on that? Don’t you want to be my girlfriend?”

  “No, I don’t want to be your girlfriend just so I can get your snacks and act like you’re impressive even when you’re not. Good boyfriends don’t try to make their girlfriends Turn To Evil or force them to do anything they don’t want to. And, to make it even worse, the Doom Squad was even lamer than the Masters of Doom. The Masters of Doom were enemies of your team, too,” she said to Laurence. She pulled out one of the knives Mrs. Marconi had given her.

  Laurence shrugged and stopped playing. The boys looked a little less like zombies again. “Alliances shift. Doctor Megadoom had many interesting…ideas.” He went to a metal cylinder that was sort of hanging from the ceiling and flipped one of its many toggles. The knife flew out of Beth’s hand and slammed into the metal cylinder. The other knives she had on her did the same thing, even her Swiss Army knife. Laurence smirked. “Now, for the last time, where’s your dog?”

  “Mrime herrrre!” Missy came bounding in from a different direction than from where Beth had entered the Secret Lair.

  “Stop her!” Laurence shouted. He played another painful few notes and the boys lurched into action.

  Missy was in full Were-Pomeranian form and she dodged the admittedly slow boys and leapt in front of Beth. Missy’s collar wasn’t on, so presumably Mrs. Marconi had noted the giant magnet and had Adapted the Plan accordingly.

  Laurence stared at Missy. “You were serious? That’s her entire transformation? Into a slightly larger and less cute Pomeranian? How is that even possible? How could the serum fail so miserably?”

  “Rooo ruck,” Missy said. Accurately, as far as Beth could tell.

  Still, Missy was her dog. “I think she’s awesome as her regular self and as a Were-Pomeranian. Just because she’s not what you wanted doesn’t make her anything less than Super.”

  “Still playing with toys that aren’t yours, Laurence?” Mrs. Marconi came from the same direction Missy had. Only she wasn’t dressed like Mrs. Marconi anymore. She was dressed in her former uniform. She didn’t have any weapons Beth could see other than the whip, which made sense, since all the other weapons they’d brought had metal in them. But then, her whip was all she’d need.

  “It’s Wonder Gal,” James said, sounding shocked, as the other boys once again seemed to be coming out of their Zombie-Like Trance. “I thought she disappeared after the Last Battle with Doctor Megadoom.”

  Beth was thrilled. Wonder Gal was one of the Originals, one of the members of the very first heroes’ alliance, the Wonder Team. And Beth was her new Sidekick! “This day could be the best ever.”

  “Mother, what are you doing here?” Laurence asked. Whined, really.

  “Stopping your madness. Again.”

  Laurence put his flute to his lips. “Attack!” Then he started playing. The sound was still painful, off-key, unappealing, and still totally non-hypnotic for Beth. But the boys all lumbered towards Wonder Gal. James, however, didn’t.

  “So, his awful playing doesn’t work on you?” Beth asked.

  James shrugged. “I’m immune, I guess. Like you are.” He looked down. “Your Were-dog isn’t, though.”

  Missy was indeed running away from Beth, but not towards Wonder Gal. No, Missy was headed right for Laurence. She grabbed his ankle in her jaws and bit down. And then she flipped him.

  One moment Laurence was standing up, the next Missy had him on his side. She shook her head the way dogs do, from side-to-side rapidly, and he went from side-to-side rapidly, too, slamming onto the floor each time. He stopped playing and the boys stopped trying to attack Wonder Gal. She rounded them up with her Whip of Holding and though they struggled, they couldn’t get free.

  Beth and James stared at Missy flipping Laurence around from side to side. “She always that strong?” he asked finally.

  “I don’t think so. But, you know, she’s a Super Dog, so maybe.”

  The flute finally flew out of Laurence’s hands. James and Beth both jumped for it, but he was a little taller than she was and had a slightly better vertical leap. James came down with the flute in his hand.

  “Give it to me,” Wonder Gal said. “Let’s get this over with.”

  James looked at Beth but he didn’t make a move towards Wonder Gal. “James, give the flute to Wonder Gal. Then we can take Laurence to the police and go home.”

  “But we’re the New Masters of Doom.”

  “Hardly,” Wonder Gal said.

  “Yeah, I have to agree. You guys are mediocre at best. I mean, unless you have hidden troops here or something.”

  “I’m not mediocre,” James said angrily.

  “Not you,” Beth said. Sure, he’d tried to force her to do things she didn’t want to, but they’d been friends forever, so he deserved the benefit of the doubt. Not a lot of benefit, but some. “But this team is. Who wants to be in the Masters of Mediocre Doom? You could have a Change of Heart and join with me and Wonder Gal.”

  He put the flute to his lips and blew into it. Music came out. Far better than the music that Laurence had played. It still wasn’t compelling to Beth, but Wonder Gal gasped. “He’s got the Ability. Dash it all, we thought it had been bred out!”

  The boys started to fight against their bonds in earnest, and even though the Whip of Holding was impressive, there were a lot of them and they got free. Then they dogpiled onto Wonder Gal. She fought bravely, tossing boy after boy off and away from her but, again, the
re were a lot of them, they were kids, and Beth knew she didn’t want to hurt them. Ultimately they got her down.

  Meanwhile, Beth was trying to get the flute away from James, but he was running around the room playing, while she ran after him.

  She finally got him cornered between a couple of vats of the clear blue liquid. Beth kicked at James, but he dodged it, shoved her into a vat and, as she bounced against the glass, took off.

  Beth scrambled to her feet and this time she didn’t try to get fancy—she tackled James from behind. They went down, but he kept a hold of the flute. He was a little bigger than her, though, and also a little stronger, and he managed to kick away from her, and get to his feet. To his credit, James didn’t try to kick her in the head, he just ran away, once more playing the flute.

  “To me, my minions!” James shouted, as he reached the hidden door Beth realized Missy and Wonder Gal had come through. “We’ll show these girls who’s the boss!”

  The boys ran away from Wonder Gal, and they seemed less like zombies and more like they were really into the whole Masters of Doom thing. At the same time, Missy dropped Laurence, who was unconscious by now anyway, and lunged at James. As a Were-Pomeranian she had a lot more spring. She wasn’t quite able to reach the flute, but she got his arm and held on.

  James spun, flinging his arm around. Because Missy wasn’t on the ground she couldn’t bring him down, and he finally managed to shake her off and sent her flying.

  Beth didn’t hesitate. Super dog or Were-dog or not, Missy could get hurt. She ran even faster than she had after James. She had to jump to make it, but she caught Missy, pulled her in, and did a tuck and cover. They landed against the vat of clear blue liquid Beth had already slammed into and this time it broke. The water splashed all over them.

  “You haven’t heard the last of the Masters of Mediocre Doom, Beth,” James shouted. “You’ll see! I’ll impress you and you’ll stop calling us mediocre and you’ll join our team because I’m the best and you’ll want to be with the best!” With that, he and the boys ran out, carrying Laurence’s unconscious body with them.

  Wonder Gal ran over to Beth and Missy. “Anything broken? Any cuts?”

  “I don’t think so,” Beth said, as she stood up.

  “Rime rokay.”

  Wonder Gal looked worried. “I have no idea what was in that and with Laurence and the boys gone, we’re not going to know for a while. It could affect one or both of you. The protection suit is good, but it’s not the best against that much liquid.”

  Beth shrugged. “I’m prepared for whatever might happen. Those are the Risks when you’re part of a Super Squad.”

  “And the risks when you get bitten by a lycan. We have no idea if Missy’s bite will alter Laurence or James, but I think we need to be prepared for it.”

  “I’m ever ready,” Beth said. Missy barked her readiness as well.

  Wonder Gal smiled. “I knew you were special, Beth. I’m proud of how you handled things today.”

  Beth beamed and hugged Missy. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Wonder Gal, or our Wonder Dog, Missy the Were-Pomeranian! Missy did the hardest stuff, after all.”

  Missy licked her face. “Ryyy rerson.”

  “Yes, I’m your person and you’re my dog.” Beth cuddled Missy a bit more. “So what’s my Sidekick name?”

  Wonder Gal snorted softly. “You weren’t a sidekick today, Beth. You were definitely a superhero. So, I’m thinking that, based on age alone, Wonder Girl might be a good starting name. After all, I won’t live forever and someone should always be ready to take up the whip and become Wonder Gal.”

  “Really?” Beth could not believe her luck. “I’m really a full superhero now?”

  “You are,” Wonder Gal said solemnly. “You even have a Nemesis. Who you’re going to have to be prepared for. James isn’t going to come back and say he’s sorry. He’s going to try to outdo himself to impress you.”

  “Rike fowr roo.”

  Wonder Gal nodded. “Yes, Missy, just like for me. Mister Marconi wasn’t on the Wonder Team. He was a mild mannered college professor by day and at night he was…Doctor Megadoom. And Laurence’s father.”

  Beth gasped. “You married your Nemesis?” Wonder Gal nodded. “But why?”

  Wonder Gal got a funny little smile on her face. “Oh, you know. Chicks dig the bad boys.”

  “I don’t.”

  Wonder Gal sighed. “Well, we’ll see what happens when the time comes. For now, we have to change into our regular clothes and get back home to our Secret Identities. And I’m going to catch hell from your Aunt Cil, too.”

  “Really? Why?”

  Wonder Gal grinned and put her arm around Beth’s shoulders. “I’ll tell you all about what your family does on the side on the way home, Wonder Girl.”

  Beth sighed happily. “I was right. This has definitely been the best day ever. Oh, can we stop on the way and get Missy a chicken?”

  Wonder Gal laughed. “Yes, we can. Whatever Missy our Wonder Were-Pomeranian wants, she gets.”

  “Rye wrant a steak!”

  “A steak it is then,” Beth said as she patted Missy’s head.

  “Wronder-roo! Missy’s ron the case!”

  PAPER WASP

  Mike Barretta

  Vespa Magillacuddy listened to the party in the next cabin over. Music and laughter drifted through the pines and loneliness pressed on her like a weight. The children were gone, visiting a sister camp on the other side of the lake for the weekend. The supervising adults were in hiding, so the teenage camp counselors were running the show for the weekend. Though kind and patient enough to deal with the kids, she’d never learned how to ingratiate herself to the camp supervisors. Consequently, she was not a counselor and not invited to the party. Working in the kitchen wasn’t bad. It certainly wasn’t what she wanted, but she made the best of it.

  She examined herself in the mirror, trying to find out why no one liked her. The dull and lusterless chunk of glass did not reflect her brighter self, so it was no surprise that no one else could see the real her. Still, she wanted desperately to be loved…or at the very least…liked. Each year, she held out hope and this year, while searching for the tiniest sign of acceptance, she’d found Jack. He said “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me,” though she had never really had a conversation with him. He didn’t shun her or say cruel things. It could be automatic, unthinking courtesy, but she hoped that perhaps, with him, things would be different this year.

  She grabbed her hair and moved it from one side to the other of her pudgy face, seeking a better side to present to the world. Her plastic framed glasses slipped to the bottom of her nose and she pushed them up where they did good service hiding her unremarkable, dirt-brown eyes. She sucked in her tummy and then released. Endless laps around the lake in her glued-up PF Flyers did little to shed the stubborn pounds of baby fat that clung to her body.

  She turned away from her sad reflection and stepped out onto the front porch of her cabin to hear the party better. Drowsy paper wasps clung to their fragile gray nest next to a dim 40 watt bulb over the door. Maintenance hadn’t taken it down despite her repeated requests. The partiers laughed and yelled at each other, playing spin-the-bottle or Truth or Dare. She fantasizing that someone would come over and invite her to the party and then she imagined leaning against a boy so casually that it wasn’t a big deal at all. The next morning, they could walk around the camp with hands tucked into each other’s back pockets.

  The fantasy faded out, the effort to sustain it too tiring. Back inside, she flopped down on the hollowed out mattress to read.

  * * *

  “If you like her so much, go over and do her, why don’t you?” said Amanda.

  “I don’t like her,” said Jack. “I think, maybe, we should just include her.”

  “Eww, what for? She’s a freakin’ toad or something. What are you, some sort of caped crusader?” said Lisa. “I know you’re the new guy, but, come on,
have some sense.”

  “Yea, Jack, righting wrongs wherever they may be found,” added Eric.

  “Shut up, idiot. I’m just saying we should be nicer to her.” Eric handed him the bottle of Boone’s Farm and he took a long drink of the fine wine.

  “She’s fat. It’s the last group we can discriminate against,” said Amanda. “Perfectly legal. They do it to themselves.”

  “She’s not that fat,” said Jack.

  “Rotund!”

  “Bovine!”

  “Corpulent!”

  “Corpulent? Big words from a little mind.”

  “She’s got some big boobs for a moped,” said Eric.

  “Moped?” asked Jack.

  “Yea, lots of fun to ride, but you don’t want anyone to catch ya doin’ it.”

  The group dissolved into vicious laughter.

  “Yea, she’s a moped,” said Jack. He wanted to defend Vespa, but it had risks. He enjoyed the acceptance of the others and did not want to be cast out. “Any more wine? This bottle is empty.”

  “So spin it,” said Eric.

  He spun the bottle and it pointed at Amanda.

  “Well?” he said to Amanda.

  “Well what?”

  “You gotta kiss me,” said Jack.

  “You wish,” said Amanda. “I’m not playing this game.”

  “What do you want to play?”

  “Truth or Dare, and I get to ask first,” said Amanda.

  “Why is that?” asked Jack.

  “The bottle picked me. Are you in Jack? Truth or Dare?” asked Amanda.

  “Dare,” he said. The girl, dull and vain, had no imagination. What could she think of? Jumping in the lake naked?

  “I dare you to go next door and ride the moped.”

  “I’m not doing that,” said Jack.

  “Pussy,” said Eric.

  “I wouldn’t take that dare. What kind of name is that? Vespa Magillacuddy. It’s like hillbilly white trash and wannabe Italian supermodel all rolled into one,” said LeeAnne.