by Carol Caiton
"He worries about us, Jill. Just like we worry about him."
"Yes, I know."
"Has he lectured you? About going out so often?"
Surprisingly, tears sprang up in Jill's eyes. As far as Rachel knew, the only time Nathan had reduced Jill to tears was when she was sixteen and had been arrested while riding in a stolen car. But maybe there had been other times she wasn't aware of.
"Yes," Jill answered. Then, "No." She gave a short, weak laugh. "It's more than that this time. It's serious this time."
Concerned now, Rachel waited for Jill to explain.
But instead of an explanation, her sister said, "Rachel, did you ever think Nathan might want to marry one of us?"
Rachel blinked. "Well, yes. At least I used to hope so."
"You did?"
"Well didn't you?"
Jill frowned.
"Jilly, you were in love with him for years. In fact, it surprised me when you finally gave up and moved on. I kept waiting for Nathan to open his eyes and fall in love with you, too."
"Me? But Nathan was always in love with you."
Rachel stared. She shook her head. "No he wasn't. Nathan was never in love with me. He wanted to take care of me . . . wrap me up in tissue paper so the world would never hurt me again. Honestly, he has more rules and regulations than Mom and Dad ever had." She smiled, thinking back over the years. "Do you remember when he was so much bigger than life to us? Our very own personal policeman?"
Whatever else was on her mind, the memory of those days softened Jill's eyes and brought on a smile. "Do you remember the first time he picked us up from school?" she asked.
"Wearing his uniform."
"The back seat of that patrol car smelled like someone threw up in it."
Rachel chuckled. "Someone probably did."
"And everyone thought—"
"—that we were being arrested," Rachel finished. "But he picked us up every day for the rest of that week."
"And half the girls in sixth grade suddenly wanted to be friends with us."
"Sally Schaffer swore she was in love."
"But Ali told her I had first dibs."
"And Sally said you didn't stand a chance because her mother told her boys preferred girls with red hair and freckles."
"Now why would her mother say something like that?"
They looked at one another and grinned.
Jill grew quiet then. But she didn't need to put her thoughts into words. What happened just a few days after that had changed all their lives forever.
"It was a long time ago," Rachel said quietly.
"Do you still have nightmares?"
"Not so much anymore. The memories get to me once in a while, but . . . ." She gave a small shrug. The memories would always be there, but they didn't paralyze her the way they once had.
"You've come so far," her sister remarked.
"It wasn't easy. And there were times when Nathan made it even harder."
"How do you mean?"
Rachel shook her head. "You're not the only one he dictates to, you know. As soon as he found out I wanted to use RUSH as a form of therapy, he argued with me almost every time I saw him. It became a strain. For both of us. I held my own, but there were times when I almost broke down and gave in." She wiped the counter with a paper towel, then paused to look at Jill. "Nathan can be a tyrant. He's determined and he likes to be in charge. But I wouldn't be standing here now if he hadn't been watching out for us. He's my hero, Jilly. He'll always be my hero. I love him deeply . . . and I always wanted him to marry you so we could keep him."
Jill didn't answer.
But a deep male voice did.
"Thank you, Rachel."
Both she and Jill whirled around.
He stood in the doorway, a warm smile in his eyes. Beside him Michael leaned against the jamb, thumbs in the front pockets of his jeans. Eyes on hers, he gave a slight but noticeable nod and her heart filled with love.
Shifting her gaze back to Nathan, she walked across the kitchen and slid her arms around his waist. "Thank you for my life, Nathan."
She'd spoken those words to him more than once in the past. But now she wondered how much of her conversation with Jill he'd heard. Then she decided it didn't matter. She and Jill and Ali had complained about his rules and regulations often enough, so nothing had been said that hadn't been said before, except the part about her wanting him to marry Jill. And that was okay. What mattered was this—the love they felt for one another.
His arms circled her in return. There was a brief squeeze, then he relaxed his hold and gave her the room she needed to pull away. She smiled. He knew her so well, understood her quirks and accepted them.
Reaching up on her toes, she aimed for his cheek and he bent forward for her kiss. Then she dropped back to the floor and went to Michael.
Her husband draped an arm across her shoulders, fitting her head in the crook of his elbow, and tucked her up against him. Rachel rested her cheek on his chest. Michael was a possessive man. He liked having her close and he liked holding her, whether or not there were people around. And she was absolutely, perfectly content with that.
Nathan cleared his throat and looked over at Jill. "As for marrying your sister," he said, "I'm working on it."
Rachel lifted her head and stared. She tried to turn and look at Jill, but her hair was caught beneath Michael's arm. She hadn't realized—
"But I have a lot to make up for," Nathan added, eyes still on Jill. "I've made some big mistakes along the way, and Jill needs time. I understand that. But I can wait. As long as she knows I'm serious."
Rachel twisted around in Michael's hold and was stunned to see a trail of tears streaming down Jill's cheeks. She started to pull away, but Jill hurried over to the table and reached for her purse and keys.
"I'm sorry," her sister said. She brushed at the tears with her fingers. "I'm sorry, but I can't stay. I'm sorry."
Rachel caught up with her at the front door. Clearly there was more going on between her sister and Nathan than any of them knew.
* * *
"What the hell are you grinning at?" the cop growled.
Michael walked over to the refrigerator, reached inside for a beer and a can of ginger ale, and passed the beer to the cop. He was still grinning.
"Well?" Nathan demanded.
Michael flipped the pop-top on his can. "I thought you were in love with Rachel." He shrugged. "Now I know you aren't."
"I told you I wasn't."
"Yeah, well, you and Rachel are the only two people in the world who know that. Your mother thinks you are, and Rachel's parents—"
"How the hell do you know what my mother thinks?"
Michael shrugged again. "I listen when people talk."
"My mother doesn't talk. Not like that." He twisted the cap off his bottle and made a perfect shot into the trash can.
"What can I say . . . I'm a charming kinda guy. People tell me stuff."
"Oh yeah? Well I'm going to have to have a talk with my mother."
Michael smirked good-naturedly. "Don't bother. She wasn't talking to me. I overheard her talking to Ali at Luke's funeral."
"She— Christ."
"Yeah. Shit like that makes me glad I didn't grow up around a bunch of females."
Nathan snorted. "You have no idea."
"So, it looks to me like you've got some crawling to do."
Nathan harrumphed. "I don't crawl."
"No? Then what was all that shit about having a lot to make up for?"
"None of your business."
Michael studied the guy, all humor aside. "If she means enough to you, you crawl. And while you're at it, you pray to whatever god you believe in that she doesn't kick you in the teeth while you're on your knees."
Nathan stared at him.
Michael stared right back. He'd sweated a fucking swimming pool before he got Rachel back. Because she was that important. So, if the cop was too proud to get his knees dirty, then maybe i
t was a good thing Jill walked out.
"I don't know you well enough to be having this conversation," Nathan told him.
"Fair enough."
Michael backed off because the guy had a valid point. But he wouldn't be extending any more invitations that put Jill in his orbit. Not unless he found out there were some bruised kneecaps under those jeans of his.
"So," he said, "you getting hungry?"
* * *
"I'm sorry for running out on you."
"Don't worry about dinner. I'm more concerned about you. Are you okay?"
"Not really. But I'm working on it," Jill said, digging through her handbag to pull out a tissue. "I've been thinking about going away for a while."
Fear shot through Rachel. Hiding it, she leaned against the hood of her sister's car and said, "Where are you thinking about going?"
Jill dabbed at her eyes. "Not very far. You know me. I don't do well with change. I'd probably have to turn around and come home if I crossed the state line." She gave a self-deprecating laugh. "But I'm going about as far as I can go while staying in Florida."
"To the panhandle?"
"No, not the panhandle. A job is waiting for me down in Key West. You've heard of Marrimore-Smith, haven't you?"
"The hotel people—luxury hotel people," she clarified.
"Yes. They have a resort on the ocean. The Keycrest Resort Hotel & Spa."
"And they made you an offer." Rachel wasn't surprised. Before she'd even graduated, her sister had received offers from as far away as London and Switzerland.
"The offer was a good one," Jill said.
Rachel smiled. "As good as the one you had from Oslo?"
"No, but it's in Florida. And the timing's right."
Rachel felt a little faint. Key West. "You always told everyone you'd have your pick of jobs once you graduated. Is that where you went last weekend? To Key West? Mom said you went to the beach for a few days."
"That's what I told her and Dad. I didn't want to say anything more because I wasn't sure I could follow through, if I could actually leave. And because I didn't want anyone to try convincing me I was making the wrong decision."
Nathan.
"I'm a mess, Rachel. I want some time alone. I need to find some balance and rediscover who I am." She ran a hand through her hair. "I need to heal and I can't do that here."
Jill was leaving. Maybe it had only been a matter of time before this happened. Her twin was overqualified—way overqualified—for the phytochemist position she worked at right now. Some of the offers she'd had were extravagant, even excessive.
"Are you looking at this as something long-term?" Rachel asked, afraid of the answer but needing to prepare herself.
"I don't know. I've signed an employment contract though. They wanted two years but I negotiated eighteen months."
Eighteen months. A year and a half. Jill wouldn't be here when it was time for the baby to be born and that frightened her. Michael may have married her because she was pregnant, but he didn't want their child. She'd come to understand that early on. He never asked about her pregnancy, never talked about the baby, and each time she came home after a doctor appointment, he asked only if she was healthy, as though she'd gone in for a recheck after having had an ear infection. She didn't know how he was going to react to the changes in their household when the baby arrived. She'd been giving herself little pep talks by reminding herself that she had her family's support. Now, however, that support was about to decrease in a big way and the fear she'd been living with surged up inside.
"Will a hotel be able to provide you with enough clients to keep you busy?"
Jill reached out and took her hand. "I'll be back. Holidays. Some weekends. Just not at first."
Rachel squeezed her fingers. "I'm sorry, I should be congratulating you."
"It's okay. And I'd be the same way if it was you leaving. Or Ali." She let go of Rachel's hand. "But to answer your question, the Keycrest plans to extend my services to the other hotels and the alternative health community. For a fee, of course. They're setting me up with a lab in a medical building that houses an acupuncture clinic."
The medical field had attracted them both, possibly because their father was a pediatrician and their mother a nurse. It wouldn't be long before Rachel graduated and she'd be a licensed pharmacist—another respected profession recognized by the AMA.
But Jill heard the beat of a different drummer. While answering a similar call to heal, she leaned toward the unconventional and frequently scorned field of alternative medicine. In the search for natural, non-chemical methods of healing, it was a growing field, but still faced enormous hurdles.
"Did you find a place to live while you were down there?" Rachel asked. Oslo's offer had included a three-bedroom apartment in a two-hundred-year-old stone manor.
"They're giving me a twelve-hundred square foot suite overlooking the ocean."
Rachel laughed weakly. "I should have guessed."
Something serious, very serious, had happened between Jill and Nathan. It was serious enough for him to announce he wanted to marry Jill, and serious enough to drive her away—Jill, who preferred the security of family, friends, and familiarity over a full scholarship to an Ivy League college in the north, or spring break in Cancun, or the opportunity to work and travel in Europe.
Straightening away from the car, Rachel asked, "What does Nathan have to do with this, Jill?"
Jill closed her eyes. When she opened them, tears slipped over again. "Please don't ask. I'm not ready to talk about it yet."
Rachel bit back the questions. It wasn't easy. She knew Jill often made decisions that frustrated Nathan. But they were Jill's decisions to make, not his. Look how many times he'd argued with her about her career choice. Yet Jill's field of specialty was in such high demand, she could relocate to just about any place on the planet and earn four-to-six times the salary Rachel hoped to make. What Nathan thought about that she didn't know. But whatever he'd done this time, it had to be soul-shattering to drive Jill away from home.
"All right," she said, "I won't ask."
But that didn't mean there weren't some strong suspicions turning over in her mind. Nevertheless, Jill was still mourning Luke. And Nathan, if his sudden interest in marriage had any hope of success, needed to make some changes. He needed to open his eyes and his heart. He needed to see that the choices Jill made, while not always conventional, weren't the frivolous ventures he supposed they were.
"When are you leaving?"
"In two weeks. I'll be handing in notice on Monday."
So soon . . . . "Have you told Mom and Dad?"
Jill shook her head. "I'll sit down and talk with them when I get home. And Ali has Parent-Teacher Night tonight so I'll drive over to her house tomorrow."
Rachel wished Ali was with them now. Ali would have made this easier for all of them because she'd find something positive to say. Tears might be streaming down her face, prompting an all-around group cry, but she'd count off on her fingers and name a list of exciting opportunities for Jill to look forward to—between sobs. Then all three of them would laugh at their pitiful lack of control and cry even harder.
"Are you going to tell Nathan?"
"Yes. I don't want to, but yes." She turned her face up to the night sky and sighed. "I'm going to go see Luke's mother as well. And Mason."
Rachel wanted to cry. Her heart already felt the void of Jill's absence, as though a large chunk of her small world was about to break off and disappear. She tried to come up with something encouraging, but the best she could do was, "There's a lot to do in Key West." Then, unable to help herself, she cried anyway. "Half of me goes with you, so take care of me," she managed.
Jill's tears spilled over again. She held out her hands for Rachel to clasp. "Half of me stays here with you, so take care of me."
Instead of taking her hands, Rachel slid her arms around Jill for a long embrace. When she began to feel the crowding of her personal space, she held on
even tighter and cried. She didn't want Jill to go away. She didn't want things to change.
The baby chose that moment to move. It was just a light fluttering, but Jill gasped and held still.
"Rachel," she whispered, "I felt your baby!" She eased back and stepped away, knowing it was time.
"Yes," Rachel said through her tears. "She's been active for a little while now."
"She?"
Rachel nodded. "It's a girl."
"Mom didn't tell me."
"Mom doesn't know. Michael doesn't want to know the sex until she's born, so you can't say anything to anyone else."
It was a variation of the truth, but the truth nonetheless. Michael just didn't want to know anything at all about the baby. And if that brought on a few more tears to add to the rest, it was okay because she was the only one who knew.
Jill smiled and wiped her face with the tissue again. "Thank you for telling me. I won't say anything."
"Do you have another one of those?" Rachel asked, indicating the wadded up tissue.
"No."
They stared at one another, then burst out laughing.
"You'd better go back inside," Jill said. "I'm sorry for ruining dinner."
"Don't apologize. You didn't ruin it. If I'd known there was friction between you and Nathan, I would have stopped Michael from phoning him."
Jill walked around the car to the driver's side. "Someday I'll explain. But it's raw right now."
"Then you'd better go ahead and leave before they come out here looking for us."
"You're right." She opened the car door. "Rachel?"
"Yes?"
"I've never seen a man so in love as Michael is with you. Not even Luke."
CHAPTER 29
"I didn't realize men had nesting instincts until I married Ethan," Nina said. "If I didn't know better, I'd say his biological clock was ticking."
Rachel smiled. She liked Nina Vale. With her quirky sense of humor and straightforward manner, it had taken fewer than fifteen minutes to reach that conclusion. Conversation between them flowed easily, and waiting to hear Nina's next forthright, sometimes offbeat point of view, made the afternoon so enjoyable, it was the first time Rachel scarcely paid attention to the imagination and talent that went into designing a theme park.
