I twisted to look at him, and I could see recognition flicker in his eyes as he grinned.
“Aye, it seems verra strange to me, but I believe I do know how. ’Tis almost as if I’ve stood under such a spray before.”
I couldn’t resist a small giggle and, turning off the water, I flicked the drips from my fingers at him playfully.
“Well, I should sure hope so.”
“Marion dinna have one, though she dinna have much of anything. I bathed in the fishing hole among the rocks and the caves. I canna tell ye in a way ye might understand. It feels as if I have memories hidden from two separate worlds. One in which Marion’s cave seems a fine sort of home and the fire where we cooked our daily fish was more than suitable. In the other, a warm waterfall such as this seems the only reasonable way to rid yerself of dirt. Even the way ye have things lit is no strange to me. Does it make any sense to ye, what I mean?”
It didn’t, not really, but I tried to take a guess at what he meant.
“Do you mean that while your memories of people and things that have happened is gone, you still understand the way things work? All of your skills, all of your common sense has remained?”
He nodded and shrugged, and I knew then that I’d missed the mark. Still, he remained polite and agreeable.
“In a way, though everything seems more at odds with each other in my mind. I only hope that when I see those who know me, the memories will come back to me. I doona believe they are gone for good for ’tis as if I can feel them lying in wait below the surface of my skin. If only I could scratch deep enough, they might rise to the top.”
It made me ache for him, for the misery he must feel at being lost for so long. I could think of little worse than losing my memories, even the worst of them. For every single one was an integral part of who I was.
“I can’t imagine what that must be like for you. I’m sorry for it. I’m sorry that this has happened to you.”
“Ach, doona feel sorry for me. I doona feel sorry for myself. We each have our trials. This is mine.”
“I suppose so. Now,” I stepped out of the bathroom to give him some privacy. “I’ll leave you alone to get cleaned up. I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you to wear though. You’ll have to…” In mid-sentence, I noticed my dark green robe hanging on one of the hooks in the bathroom and moved to lift it up and open to gauge its size.
It swallowed me whole and, as I looked it over, I imagined it would fit around him well enough, though it would need to be a good foot longer to be a decent length for him. Still, it would cover his most intimate bits. And if it didn’t, I guessed I would just have to suffer the torture of catching a glimpse of his rear end.
“Why don’t you put this on when you get out of the shower until the clothes you have on now are dry.”
He looked at it suspiciously, but then stepped toward me causing his shoes to squeak from the way they were soaked through. Taking a glance down at his still-wet clothes, he relented and reached his hand out for it.
“Verra well. Thank ye.”
The moment I shut the door to the bathroom, I heard the shower start to run and the soft sound of his clothes dropping to the floor.
* * *
“Did ye roll onto the floor, lass? Why else would ye no be in yer own bed?”
The sound of Orick’s voice startled me, and I jumped up from my pallet on the floor so quick that my head spun as I stood. I only meant to prepare my mat for sleeping and instead fell asleep within a matter of moments.
“No, I didn’t roll off the bed. I left it open for you.”
He looked ridiculously adorable in my robe and nearly did give me a peek of his jewels when he puffed his chest out in reaction to my explanation for being on the floor.
“Do ye mean to tell me that ye intend for me to stay here with ye? In yer room? I couldna shame ye in such a way, lass. ’Twas fair different in the cave than here.”
“Oh, come on now, Orick. I’m flattered that you’re worried about my reputation, but don’t be such a prude. You need a good night’s rest. I insist that you take the bed. I’ve got plenty of blankets right here. It’s pretty comfy actually. But you do have to stay here with me. We can’t risk you staying in any other room. Not until they’ve seen you.”
“No, lass. I willna have ye sleep on the floor.”
He walked over to the bed and pulled at the top blanket, setting it down on the other side of the bed before he disappeared from view as he lay down on the floor.
I rolled over and looked at him from underneath the bed.
“What’s the point in this? If you sleep on the floor, I sleep on the floor, too. I’m very stubborn. You do not want to try me on this.”
He looked over at me, and one corner of his mouth pulled up in an appreciative smile.
“So what are ye saying? That if I want ye to sleep in the bed, I must sleep with ye?”
It did make me seem like a hussy, but I’d been raised to be a better hostess than that. I simply wouldn’t stand for him to sleep on the floor just as he wouldn’t allow me to either.
“No. I would prefer that you just get in the bed and let me lay here, but if you won’t without me being in it, it’s not going to hurt me any to share it with you.”
“Are ye no worried that I’ll take advantage of ye? That the temptation of ye lying next to me would be too much?”
I laughed and pushed myself up as I dragged the blankets from my pallet back onto the bed. I knew what my hair most likely looked like now that I’d fallen asleep on it, and I also knew the sounds I made in my sleep—neither were attractive. Even if I’d been with a man far less polite, I wouldn’t have been too worried about me presenting myself as a temptation—not that I intended to place myself in such a situation with strange men ever again.
“I’m not worried. Should I be? You don’t strike me as the type.”
“No, lass. I swear that I willna touch ye.”
Seeing that I meant every word, he slowly followed my lead, rolling the blanket he’d pulled from the bed into a long snake that he lay down its middle as a sort of separation between the two of us.
After I flipped off the lights, we both settled in the bed a comfortable distance from the other, and I started to drift just as quickly as before when Orick’s voice spoke to me in the darkness.
“I’m frightened, lass.”
We lay with our backs to one another but, recognizing that he needed someone to talk to, I twisted toward the center at the same time he did, placing our bodies much closer to one another. Seeing him that way, lying so close to me that I could feel the heat of his breath, reminded me so much of my dreams of him that I wanted to reach for him, to pull him close to me and press my lips against him. I almost did just that but saw sense when he opened his mouth to speak again.
“I believe that I’ll remember with time, but that time may no be tomorrow. I doona wish to cause those who know me pain.”
Instead, I rested my palm on the side of his cheek to comfort him.
“You needn’t be worried about that. All of it will come as a shock to them so know that, but if they love you, they will give you the time you need.”
He said nothing. All I could see were his blue eyes in the moonlight.
“You know…” I whispered the words to him as I scooted just slightly closer, the front of my body bumping the barrier he had created between us. “I know you may not remember this but sometimes to give someone courage you press your lips against another to pass on that strength to them. I have some to spare, if you’d like it.”
He smiled in the darkness, and I didn’t allow him the chance to answer before I leaned in and brushed my lips ever so softly against his own. I didn’t linger long, but his hand rose to my cheek and cupped it as he guided me to his face for a second kiss. His touch was light and gentle, and it was over as quickly as it had begun.
With that, I rolled over and bid him goodnight.
He said nothing, but I could tell that he
knew I lied.
CHAPTER 13
For the first time since moving into the castle, I didn’t dream about Orick. I dreamt of my parents and how much I missed them. It was the kind of dream where the memories are so acute you can smell them, touch them, hear them, even see them in a way that makes your heart ache from the sudden longing you feel at missing them. When I woke, tears lingered in the corner of my eyes.
I twisted over my shoulder to make sure Orick still slept before slipping out of bed and into the bathroom where I could wash the tears and memories away with a hot shower. I didn’t dream about them as often as I once did, but the significance wasn’t lost on me.
They were like beacons, lighthouses, leading me either toward or away from something I couldn’t yet see myself. Reminding me of their wisdom when I was in need of it, even long after they were gone. My dreams of them had always been that way.
What were they trying to tell me now, I wondered? Perhaps it was a simple sign of their approval of Tracy’s decision to give me the castle. Whatever it was, I never knew how to feel about such dreams. In a way, I never wanted them to end but, once they did, I always wished they’d never happened. The feeling of being so unattainably close to them always just made me hurt and, more often than not, cry.
I allowed myself those tears while I showered but once I finished, I let them wash away with the suds that ran down the shower drain.
I readied myself in the bathroom, doing the job quickly and moving around as quietly as I could so as not to wake Orick. I managed to get the job done pretty efficiently, and I was basically finished when I heard the bed creak as if he’d stood. I opened the door to see him standing, and I had to call out to him to keep him from stretching upward in my little shortie robe while I looked on.
“Morning, let me just close the door before you do that. Otherwise, I’ll get a nice wide shot of your rear end.”
He stood with his back toward me but laughed at my words.
“’Tis more likely to embarrass ye than me, lass.”
He turned and pointed to the bed. “’Twas the best night’s sleep I can remember.”
“Good.” I stepped and moved to make the bed now that he was standing. “I think you needed it.”
He immediately moved to help though I could tell it was a task he wasn’t overly familiar with as he mimicked my moves exactly. Not that I put that off to his memory loss—he was, after all, a man.
“I believe I did. For the first time since my fall, I dinna dream of senseless colors and voices.”
“That’s good. What did you dream?”
I knew that for me, my dreams often pulled from my own memories of things I’d seen. I wondered what a man with so few memories would dream about.
He smiled and looked down at his feet rather shyly.
“I doona know if I should tell ye but ’twas of ye, and it dinna feel like a dream, lass. It felt like a memory. Are ye sure ye doona know me?”
“I’m sure. I would have told you if I knew you. But maybe that means you are starting to remember and your mind just replaced someone else’s face with my own because you’d just seen me before you went to bed. I think that’s good news.”
“Hmm.”
He made the noise as he stepped away from the bed and crossed his arms as he thought.
“Mayhap ye are right, but I could see ye with such detail, Gillian. I stood out in the rain, just outside yer bedchamber window next to a lass I couldna see. I watched ye as ye stood there, yer red hair covering half of yer face. I watched ye, but ye couldna see me. How desperately I wanted to know ye.”
I swallowed and the room seemed to warm suddenly with his words.
I stuttered over a few unsure words and nearly collapsed with relief when the handle to my room rattled as if someone meant to enter. It kept me from trying to follow up his dream confessional with any sort of reply, which was good because my heart was pounding way too hard for me to do so successfully.
Anne I could deal with and speak to just fine. I assumed she meant to check in on us after abandoning me the night before.
“I’m coming.”
I walked over and opened the door to see Cooper standing in the doorway. In panic, I closed the door in his face as I turned to Orick.
“Step back out of the way for a minute and let me deal with him. I can’t let you meet him until I’ve talked to the adults.”
“Who is it?”
He did as I asked, but his curiosity was evident.
“It doesn’t matter. Just stay back.”
I opened the door once again and looked down at the child’s wounded expression.
“Good morning, Cooper.”
“Morning. Why’d you close the door in my face?
“Uh…” I stood in the crack of the doorway making sure he couldn’t see inside. “My room is just a mess. I didn’t want you to see it.”
“Oh, my room is always a mess so you shouldn’t worry about that. I brought you some coffee.”
He extended a big, steaming mug in my direction, and I took it gladly.
“Thank you. That’s so nice of you. I’ll enjoy every drop.” I stepped back into the room and started to close the door, but he stuck his foot inside to stop me.
“Hey, wait a minute. Is it okay if I come in? I could really use somebody to talk to.”
I immediately felt sorry for him. “Oh. Is your Aunt Jane up? I’m sure she’d love to talk to you. You two are pretty close, right?”
His shoulders dropped. I knew my dismissal hurt him, but I didn’t see another choice.
“I can’t talk to her—not about last night. It was so awful, Gillian. They were all screaming at each other, and it was all about me. I hated it.”
“Gillian.”
The second voice was Orick’s, and I gasped at the urgency of it.
“Who was that?”
Cooper tried to step around my legs, but I held him back.
“Nobody. Hang on just a second.”
I shut the door as much as I could and looked back over at Orick with wide, aggravated eyes, but the moment I saw him, my anger vanished. I knew before he spoke what he would say. I could see in his eyes that he’d changed.
“Gillian. What is the lad’s name?”
“It’s Cooper.”
“Let me see him. His voice…I know it.”
CHAPTER 14
How would it feel to remember? He thought it would be painful, like a flooding of his mind with so many feelings, images, and memories that it would be difficult to take or understand.
His expectations were so different than the way it happened.
Instead, when he stood beside the door and heard the young boy’s voice, he simply knew how to talk to him, knew what would make the lad feel better. And then, when Gillian stepped away from the doorway and he saw the boy, it seemed as if he’d never forgotten.
He knew him, he loved him, and he remembered every game of hide-and-seek he’d ever played with the boy, every surprising thing that came out of the lad’s mouth. In an instant, the man he’d been for many moons vanished, replaced by the man he truly was.
“Cooper.”
The boy charged him, jumping toward Orick as he reached his arms down to lift the child. He smiled as Cooper’s little arms squeezed tightly around his neck.
The child’s faith astounded him. He didn’t look at him with fear, doubt, or confusion—none of the emotions that he knew Jane would have when she saw him for the first time in so much time. No, Cooper simply saw him and believed that his eyes saw the truth, and it was enough for him to let joy overtake him. A joy so strong that Cooper’s little body shook all over as he held him.
Tears filled Orick’s eyes as he listened to Cooper sob into the collar of the robe he still wore, and he allowed the child the time they both needed as they treasured the first moments of their joyous reunion.
Eventually, the boy took a deep breath, holding in any other sniffles as he reared back in Orick’s arms and placed his
little hands on either side of Orick’s face.
“We all thought you died. Oh, Orick, I’m so glad you didn’t. I’ve missed you so much.”
Cooper gasped at the end of his words and took to crying once more as Orick gathered him up and held him close.
“Ach, lad, I’ve missed ye as well. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to ye. O’course it should be ye that would bring all the memories back for me. I’ve always thought ye possessed a wee bit of magic, what with yer wise soul and smart tongue. It seems I was right.”
“What? What does that mean?”
“When I fell into the ocean…I dinna remember anything. No until this moment.”
Cooper still held a firm grip on either side of his face.
“You didn’t remember us? What have you been doing all this time?”
“I lived in a cave, I ate lots of wee fish, and I spoke to only one person—a kind but strange lass by the name of Marion. She saved my life.”
Cooper finally released his face, moving his hands to rest on Orick’s shoulders.
“Are you sure you remember everything now? What is my favorite color?”
Orick laughed and turned his head suspiciously at the child.
“I doona think ye’ve asked a fair question. Ye change yer mind all the time. One day ’tis blue, the next green, and still others ye enjoy red.”
Cooper giggled and leaned in to give him a quick little hug.
“That’s it! You do remember because I never know what to say to that question. Do you want to see Aunt Jane?”
He noticed right away that Cooper hadn’t said Adwen’s name, and he wondered if something had happened between them. He would find out soon enough.
“Aye, but first…”
He wasn’t given the chance to finish as Cooper screamed at the top of his lungs.
“Aunt Jane…come in here right now! You’re going to want to see this!”
“Ach, Cooper. I’ve already suffered a loss in memory, I doona wish to lose my hearing as well. Doona call for yer Aunt Jane yet. Best we approach them with the news slowly.”
Love Beyond Dreams (A Scottish Time Travel Romance): Book 6 (Morna's Legacy Series) Page 7
