by Lilly Wilde
“Do you want me to let you come?”
“Why are you doing this, you asshole?”
“Ah, ah, ah. You know I don’t approve of name-calling. You should apologize.”
His lips covered my clit, just enough to where his sucking elicited a cool air over the tiny bud, and that’s when I lost it. It felt as if my clit was about to explode. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Fuck! I’m sorry.” My head was spinning, and my eyes were starting to water. “What do you want me to say? Tell me. I’ll say it. Please. I need to come.”
I was damned near mindless—only able to focus on letting out what he had stirred inside me. I had to give in—to give him what he wanted…my compliance. He usurped all my power, affording me only the option to agree. And I did—to letting go of my fixation on R.I., to letting him do what he felt was best for us, to maintaining focus on Lyric and RPH and then finally, he let me come. My sex rippled and quaked, my orgasm flooding me with an intensity I’d never before experienced. I screamed aloud, unable to maintain myself. I was sure the driver and everyone else in the parking lot heard me. I’d lost all control—I had none. And at that moment, I didn’t care. His mouth was still on me, licking tirelessly until I climaxed a second time, gripping his legs and gasping his name.
Once I’d stilled, he placed me on the seat. My heart was racing so fiercely that I didn’t think it would ever drop to its normal rate. I looked up at him as he watched me, his lips shiny and wet with my essence. When my breathing finally settled, I sat up and glared at my tormentor.
“You should get dressed, and meet Dianna at Lyric’s doctor’s appointment,” he said.
“You should fuck off!”
He looked at me, feigning confusion by my response, although he knew damn well I’d be infuriated by his tactics.
I placed my feet on the floor. “Why did you do that?” I demanded.
“I gave you what you asked for,” he replied, reaching for his handkerchief and wiping his mouth.
“Yeah, with a side of torture thrown in for good measure.”
“I would hardly describe the act of pleasing that decadent pussy as torture…for either of us.”
I angrily reached for my clothes and said, “I certainly hope you don’t take any of what I was coerced into saying at face value. I was under duress when I made those statements.”
“Oh, to the contrary. I fully expect you to honor every word.”
“Well, your expectations are going to be shattered.” I slipped on my panties and then tossed him a look of defiance.
“Do you see a smile on my face? I’m dead serious, Aria. No more of your fixations and interrogations.”
“You can’t use sex to get me to do what you want.”
He leaned toward me and moved his finger over my bottom lip. “Sure I can. If you can’t be reasonable and do as I ask, I’ll get the results I want one way or another. You’ll do good to remember that.”
“Why? Why would you do that to me?”
“Because it’s the only way I can get someone like you to understand.” He slid his finger over my cheek and then placed his palm there.
I slapped his hand away from my face and started to pull on my jeans. “You mean someone who doesn’t roll over and fawn at your feet? You egotistical bastard!”
After slipping on my shoes, I grabbed my purse. “It was cruel and unnecessary.”
“I didn’t do anything to be cruel. I did it to show you how much pleasure you can have, how much more pleasure I can give to you if you just let go of those things that upset you.”
“I don’t care how you pretty it up,” I said. “What you did was cruel.”
“That was not my intent.”
“Wasn’t it?”
“Do you think I would receive any pleasure in being unpleasant to you in that way? I love you, Aria, and I only want you to be happy—not obsessing over something that serves no purpose.”
“So I should just stand by and let Raine Industries slink in like a blood-sucking vampire and pull us apart?”
“If you think, even for a moment, that I’ll let anyone or anything remove my focus from what’s most important, you’re mistaken. You and Lyric are my world. You take precedence over everything else, and I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep us together.”
I turned and reached for the door handle. I had no desire to be around him any longer. He was obviously fine with what he’d done. I opened the door and he called after me, “I’ll see you at home, princess.”
I stormed off in the direction of the valet for my car. He’d see me at home all right.
Chapter Twelve
Lyric, Dianna, and I arrived back at the house just before five o’clock. We stepped from the foyer into a room full of flowers, wrapped gifts, and a card. I knew they were all from Aiden. He knew I was fighting mad, and he was hoping to soften the blow before he came home. Well, that wasn’t going to happen.
“Looks like Mr. Aiden’s in the dog house,” Dianna said, when she noticed that I flung Aiden’s card on the table.
“When is he not?”
I looked up and saw the sympathy in Dianna’s eyes. I knew she wanted to defend any and everything that Aiden had done, but this was not a subject I would dare discuss with her or anyone else.
My gaze settled on the huge bouquet of balloons floating near the window. I carried the baby over to them and saw they were actually for Lyric, as evidenced by the new teething ring attached to one of the strings. I pulled them down, bringing them to the baby’s eye level. He reached his chubby little hand out and tried to grab one of the balloons. It floated away and he reached for another one, only to have it move from his distance, too. I watched with a smile as he enjoyed his gift from Daddy. After a while, he became frustrated with them and burst into tears.
When it appeared Lyric would never calm down, we went upstairs to ready him for bed. I hated to see him like this. I wished I could take his pain away. The shots this afternoon, combined with the teething meant a miserable night for my sweet baby. After a bath, some pain medication, and his bottle, he managed to drift off pretty easily. He’d been so irritable lately that I already had my mind set that tonight promised more of the same, but I was relieved when he easily surrendered to sleep.
I was still in Lyric’s nursery, sitting near the window, staring at the evening skyline and lost in thoughts of Aiden when I heard someone approaching from behind. I was certain it was the subject of my thoughts, so I didn’t turn to look. Seconds later, a single-stemmed yellow rose appeared in front of me. The grin on my face was almost involuntary, but I bit my lip to conceal my elation.
Aiden stepped around and crouched in front of me. “At least you’re not still upset with me.”
“What makes you think that?” I asked.
“You didn’t grab my peace offering and throw it in my face. Secondly, you’re speaking to me—that’s always a good sign.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed as I reached for the flower.
“I’m sorry,” he offered.
“Each time I think you can’t do anything to shock me, you always prove me wrong. Today was insane.”
He glanced toward the crib. “Let’s not wake him. Can we talk in the bedroom?” he asked, extending his hand to me.
I placed my palm in his as he stood and then led us down the hall. As soon as we’d settled in the chair beside the bed, he said, “I want to share some things with you that will put your mind at ease, but I’m not going to discuss parts that I feel you’re better off not knowing. You’re just going to have to trust me.”
“Trust you to do what? Dismantle your father’s company as you’ve threatened? Is that what all of this is about? Aiden, that will rip your family apart—not to mention the ripple effect on us.”
“Are you going to let me talk?”
“I’m sorry,” I said. After having imagined so many ominous scenarios, which had yet to be proven right or wrong, my impatie
nce had gotten the better of me. “Go ahead.”
“Do you have any idea how many birthdays my siblings and I spent without a father? Or the number of Thanksgivings, or Christmas holidays?”
I didn’t know where this conversation was going, but I was certainly shocked that he started with a story about his childhood. Like me, he preferred to keep that side of himself tucked away. “I know that must have been horrible for you and your family, but you can’t let your resentment for Connor dictate your decisions. You’ve allowed him to take so much already.”
“I agree, and since he’ll never make any changes of his own accord, I’m making them for him. I won’t let my son be collateral damage to my father’s views. For the next several years, you and I have the opportunity to steer Lyric down the right path. Once he’s of age, we lose that. Then what? His name alone will lure him to R. I., and if the company is run the way my father wants, it will change the very essence of Lyric’s life, same as it has for all of us. I want Lyric to be a part of something great, something better than that. Something that he won’t resent or hate.”
“But if you plan to destroy the company—”
“I didn’t say I was doing that.”
“So you’re secretly making changes then? Changes you know your father will disapprove of, which will only lead to more infighting. Why walk into that? The more you involve yourself, even in secret—the more room for disaster, the more he’s going to pull you in. And then poof, we’re right back to weeks and weeks apart, leaving me without the man I love and Lyric without his father. That sounds all too familiar. And I know how that story ends, and it’s not what I want for myself, and most definitely not for our son.”
“There you go again, drawing your own conclusions,” he said.
“You’re playing this so close to the vest that I can only go by the bits and pieces I’ve managed to put together. So the latest story is that whatever you’re doing, it’s for Lyric?” Connor was right—he said Aiden would tell me that whatever he was doing—it was for Lyric’s protection.
“Aria, would you have Lyric grow up to be like me? To have his choices removed because of what was expected of him? To have him resent his parents for not actually being parents?”
I couldn’t refute his logic.
“I thought not,” he said, when I didn’t respond.
“But we aren’t planning to raise Lyric that way. And you know what? We can move, Aiden,” I suggested. “Out of the country if need be. We don’t have to be around any of this.”
“If it’s one thing I’ve learned, you can’t outrun the Raine name—no matter how hard you try. Sooner or later, it always catches up to you.”
“You say that like it’s a curse. Are you sure this plan of yours isn’t your way of exacting revenge on Connor for what you think he’s done to you?”
He looked at me as if I had suddenly sprouted horns. “What I think he’s done to me? Are you serious?”
“You know I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
“There’s a lot about me you still don’t know, things that are a part of me because of how I was raised, and because of how I was molded to be the future of Raine Industries. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not someone whose life spiraled downward or who can’t function in society because of my parents. My childhood wasn’t all bad. I mean, I pretty much had everything, except the one thing all children need.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Deprivation. I was raised with emotionally unresponsive parents, and because of that, I could have been just as damaged as a child who was frequently beaten. And I honestly think I would have been seriously fucked up, had it not been for Dianna.”
There was hurt in his tone that mirrored the sadness in his eyes. “Are you sure you want to talk about this? You don’t have to, you know.”
“No. I don’t want to talk about it, but if I expect you to trust me, you need to know a little more about me.”
“I do trust you, Aiden. It’s Connor and your mother that worry me.”
“Don’t let them. My parents have their own shit to worry about.”
“What does that mean?”
Aiden took a deep breath and then exhaled. “My siblings and I were emotionally deprived by our parents—they would pretty much ignore us in those times when we needed them most. They weren’t there for the highs or the lows. So we quickly learned not to look to our parents for comfort and support, which is why I always look out for my brother and sisters, especially Allison. I once told you that Dad let her do her own thing, but he only backed off because I intervened on her behalf. I guess you can say I brokered a deal with him, and Allison didn’t know about it until recently. No one else in the family knows.”
I felt guilty for not telling him I’d known also, but I didn’t want to admit I’d been eavesdropping. “I get that parents may want their children to follow in their footsteps, but this is beyond ridiculous. How can he be okay with this? Why would he take so much from you?”
“Because I was the special one. I was the one he saw as the next Raine mogul. But I was also the one who did things a little differently—the handful. Consequently, Dianna spent more time mothering me than she did the other kids, and in doing so, my secure attachment was to her, much to my mother’s disapproval. To be honest, I think Mom was psychologically unavailable as a mother, which is why I often gave in to so many things to keep her happy.”
“You’ve had to carry so much on your shoulders. You once told me your life was not your own, and I didn’t really get why you let that happen—until now.”
“You know…my past is what enabled me to understand yours—to understand you.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t see the point. And maybe because I never discuss it with anyone…even my siblings. We all know it, but it’s something we don’t mention.”
Connor told me something similar about his childhood, about how they all knew what was going on, but no one said anything about it. “Thank God for Dianna,” I murmured.
“Who knows what you would have had to put up with had it not been for her chiseling me into the masterpiece I am today,” he replied, grinning.
“Masterpiece? Yeah, right,” I replied. “Seriously though, I know all too well how a parent’s lack of emotional responsiveness can affect you. Most people don’t realize that it’s a devastating form of abuse.” I was thinking back to my childhood, to how I had to pretty much be my own parent.
“The effects of psychological unavailability on a child’s development are as serious as the effects of physical abuse and neglect, which is why I’m determined to be here for Lyric. When I found out I had a child, one of my first thoughts was of my childhood and how I wanted to ensure Lyric’s was nothing like mine.”
“He has two very determined parents,” I pointed out.
“Yes, he does. I want Lyric to feel happy, safe, and loved…every day.”
“I can somewhat understand why your mom is the way she is—she lost both of her parents at such a young age.”
“Yes, and she’s emotionally very needy, perhaps because she was reared by psychologically unavailable caregivers herself. I don’t think she knows how to be nurturing. She’s always looked to us, mostly me, to satisfy her own needs for nurturance and love, and that’s why I gave up the fight to Dad—to give my mother some of what she needed. Dad sure as hell wasn’t going to do it.”
Poor Sienna. I felt bad for having categorized her as an evil bitch, but to give her credit—she wore that hat quite well.
“Are you okay?” Aiden asked, stroking my back. “I haven’t frightened you, have I?”
“No, just thinking about all of this, and applying it to what I knew—or what I thought I knew about you and your family. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.”
“Oh, don’t let all of this skew your overall view of my mother. She can be pretty tough at
times—she’s had to be with a husband like Connor.”
“I’m sure. And she seems to dote on you.” At least I had some love and nurturing from my parents before Dad disappeared. I can’t imagine the larger mess I would have been had I never had any of it.
“Mother loves me. I know that, but she’s very much into appearances. I’m sure you’ve noticed. She has the successful husband, the disciplined kids, and the picture perfect house.”
She had all of that, but I could see how it was all a charade.
“Every once in a while, a part of her…I guess you’d call it maternal instinct,” he said with a sneer, “would kick in and she’d actually go head to head with Dad.”
“Like with your music? When she encouraged you to play?”
“Yeah, but it was always an argument she couldn’t win. He very easily made her feel as though she was wrong—reduced her to tears most times. Who knows? Maybe she wanted to be different, but couldn’t be, and maybe she thought it was less stressful to be the person my father expected her to be, even when it came to us.”
I remembered her giving me that little Raine expectation speech. I kissed Aiden’s cheek and stared into his dark green eyes. “It sounds like we’re all products of similar circumstances.”
“Yes. And someone has to make a stand if we want anything to change.”
Before I could ask him to explain, he said, “Not only did we have to cope with less than stellar parenting, my father has used manipulation and threats to control all of us. Forcing his will on us…he’s always said it was because he loved us, because he loved his family. But it’s always been about that company, his reputation, his empire…which he was too busy running to be a real parent to his kids. If he’d been more concerned about us instead of that business, maybe we would have actually been the family that the world thinks we are.”
