by K J Taylor
No. He won’t help you. I won’t let him. He won’t hurt my children, and neither will you. They’ll find a way to kill you first, I know they will. They’re clever, and I’ll help them.
But Arenadd’s voice was desperate now, panicky even. He wasn’t certain of anything he was saying.
It gave Saeddryn some of her confidence back. She laughed cruelly at him. ‘Did ye really think ye could stop me?’ she asked. ‘Yer nothing, Arenadd. Yer a puff of smoke that talks. An’ yer children are nothing either. Mortals, half-breeds, heathens. Nobody ever stopped ye when ye still had a spine. An’ nothing’s gonna stop me. Yer children have killed themselves by lettin’ me near them. The Night God will freeze them in the void forever. But I don’t think she’ll do that to ye. No, she’ll punish ye far more painfully.’
Shut up. I don’t care what she does to me any more. I need to think …
‘Help me,’ said Saeddryn. ‘Find a way t’get me out of here, an’ then help me do what I was sent t’do. Maybe the Night God will forgive ye.’
Not a chance.
‘Ye’ve got until Laela arrives,’ said Saeddryn. ‘Think about it, Arenadd. Think very hard.’
Oh, I will, he growled. I will.
THIRTY-ONE
IMMORTAL SIN
Arenadd had made his decision, and did not leave Saeddryn’s side once. He stubbornly ignored all her attempts to persuade him.
He needn’t have bothered. Saeddryn’s continued efforts to escape all failed. The chains would not give, the guards would not listen, and her cell door was not opened once, not even for food or drink to be brought. She wondered whether they knew she didn’t need to eat any more, or whether this was an attempt to soften her up in preparation for whatever came next.
The wait finally ended when Laela came. She arrived surprisingly quickly, and brought a small entourage with her to Saeddryn’s cell. All of them were Amorani. Akhane, two middle-aged men with shaven heads, and a fourth: a sinewy, scarred woman of indeterminate age, whose face had an odd faraway look on it.
Kullervo came too, and stood by in silence while his sister inspected her captive.
Laela wore a plain dress, but the crown was on her head. She regarded Saeddryn with an insolent blue-eyed stare.
‘Not wantin’ to open with the obvious, but I told yeh so,’ she said. ‘I said if yeh stood in my way it’d come to this, an’ now it has, thanks to my brother here.’
‘It was my pleasure,’ Kullervo growled.
Saeddryn stared back at her enemy, and felt the hatred in her dead heart. ‘Yer time is nearly up, mortal,’ she said. ‘Ye can’t kill me.’
Laela shrugged. ‘Senneck already did that for us. What I’m planning here ain’t death so much, but you’ll probably wind up wishin’ for it by the time I’m done with yeh.’
‘What do you mean?’ Kullervo interrupted suddenly. ‘I thought we were going to kill her.’
‘When we’re ready,’ said Laela. ‘But first we’re gonna talk.’
‘I’ve got nothin’ to say to ye,’ Saeddryn spat.
‘No,’ said Laela. ‘Not yet you ain’t.’ She gestured at the quiet, scarred Amorani. ‘This is a friend of mine. She used t’be a slave back where she came from, an’ she did a very useful job there. Not many people’d want it, an’ it wins yeh no friends, but she was damn good at it. Still is. So I thought I’d bring her here an’ introduce yeh, see how yeh get on.’
Saeddryn kept her word, and only glared.
‘We need t’find out a few things,’ said Laela. ‘An’ yer gonna help us. One way or another. Even if it takes a month. Which it won’t.’
Kullervo had begun to look alarmed. ‘But Laela, we can’t — ’
‘Shut up,’ said Laela. She rested her hands on her pregnant belly and addressed Saeddryn again. ‘I ain’t in this for the fun, so I’ll give yeh one last chance before we get started. Tell us where Caedmon is an’ we can get it over with right now.’
Fear began to twinge in Saeddryn, but still she said nothing.
Laela did not look surprised. ‘Right, then,’ she said. ‘Akhane, you an’ yer friends can leave now. I’ll see yeh later. But you — ’ She nodded to the scarred woman. ‘Stay. An’ you too, Kullervo.’
Kullervo’s face had gone pale. ‘I don’t really want to — ’
‘But yer gonna stay anyway,’ said Laela. ‘I’m going to open the door, and I need yeh here, in case she gets back into the shadows. Stand guard an’ be on the lookout.’
‘But — ’ Kullervo began.
‘That’s an order, Kullervo,’ Laela said sharply. ‘Do it.’
Kullervo looked miserable, but he nodded his yes, and silently handed over the key.
‘Be careful,’ Akhane advised his wife. ‘I can all but smell the danger in this one.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ said Laela, smiling sweetly at him. ‘With Kullervo here there’s nothin’ to be afraid of.’
Akhane nodded respectfully to Kullervo. ‘Agreed. The power of Xanathus will protect you both.’ His two friends were already leaving, but before he followed them the Prince went closer to the bars and looked in at Saeddryn. ‘Be warned, heartless monster,’ he said. ‘There are no methods of torture more painful or more effective than those used in Amoran. You would do better to speak now and spare yourself, and recall that you cannot escape into death.’
Saeddryn only snarled at him. He shrugged and walked away.
The four guards, who had stayed outside the cell, moved into position while Laela unlocked the door. She ushered the torturer inside then locked her in and stood by with Kullervo, watching impassively.
Saeddryn eyed the scarred Amorani. She did not look very threatening, but everything about her, Saeddryn thought, hinted at a heart of steel underneath her bland expression.
Silently, the torturer unrolled a leather bundle and laid it out on the floor, exposing the metal instruments that were stored neatly in individual pockets inside. She selected one, then straightened up and tore Saeddryn’s tunic open.
For a moment the two women looked at each other, eye to dark eye. Neither one betrayed a flicker of emotion.
Then the torturer looked away, and quietly and blandly began her work.
Saeddryn lasted a while in silence, vowing to herself that she would not betray herself, but it was the same hopeless vow that most prisoners in her situation made, and it did not last for long before she screamed for the first time.
Outside the cell, Laela watched with a look of hatred and distaste on her face. If she had any remorse for what she was doing, it didn’t show.
Kullervo was far less restrained. His expression was openly horrified, and he often looked away, but couldn’t stop himself from looking back again. Before long he started to retch, and even looked close to actually throwing up.
Inside the cell, unseen, Arenadd did not look away at all. He had turned on Saeddryn and so thrown away his last chance at redemption, but at least he had the courage to see the consequences of his actions and not flinch. This was the inevitable outcome of his betrayal, and he looked it full in the face and accepted it.
Just tell them, Saeddryn, he said eventually. Don’t do this to yourself.
But Saeddryn did not talk. The only sounds they got from her were screams and curses, and finally sobs.
After what felt like an eternity, Laela finally said: ‘That’s enough for now. I’m tired. We’ll go again tomorrow. Yeah, that’s right,’ she added loudly, as Saeddryn finally sagged to the floor. ‘This ain’t over. We’ll do it again tomorrow, an’ the day after that, an’ the day after that. We don’t have t’give yeh time to heal, do we? No chance of killin’ yeh, just as yeh said. We’ll just keep on goin’ until we get what we need. Have a think about that, why don’t yeh?’
She let the torturer out of the cell, and she and Kullervo left.
Saeddryn could not lie down. She hung from her chains, feeling her own blood drip onto the floor. Her body spasmed uncontrollably. She could not raise her hea
d. But it was over, at least. For now. She was alone with her pain.
But no. Not alone. The guards were still there.
And Arenadd. He would not abandon her either. He was her enemy now, he was damned, but he would stay her companion, and he understood, yes, he did … had to know how it felt …
Saeddryn coughed weakly, and nearly screamed again when the action made pain explode through her body.
‘Arenadd …’ Her voice came out as a bloodied rasp.
I’m here, Saeddryn. Always.
‘Ye … Arenadd … ye won’t … tell them where …?’
No. Caedmon’s secret is safe with me. I don’t want him to be hurt. He was like a son to me.
Saeddryn managed a smile. ‘Shou … should’ve been … yer son.’
We all wish for impossible things, Saeddryn.
Speaking was agony, but Saeddryn could not stop herself. She had to know. ‘Was it all … lies? Did ye ever … ever love me?’
You? Arenadd chuckled. You were the bane of my existence. You argued with me about every little damn thing. You nagged me for being drunk too often. You made a scene in front of the Council at least three times because I wouldn’t agree to something you wanted.
Saeddryn’s eye closed. ‘So … nothing … was true.’
You were my rock, Arenadd said gently. One of the only constants I ever had. I loved you for that.
Saeddryn tried to laugh. ‘Thank … thank ye.’
I wish I could have made things right, said Arenadd. But I’ve spent my whole life wishing for things I couldn’t have. And when I try to do what’s right, things just get worse for everybody. He made a soft, shuddering sound. Whatever punishment the Night God has in store for me will just be what I deserve for doing this to you.
Saeddryn tried to rise. ‘No,’ she gasped. ‘Ye did … the right thing. Protecting yer children … I understand. If it was ye here in these chains ye’d do the same, wouldn’t ye …?’ She fell back again.
Yes. A hundred times.
‘Then … ye understand why …’ Saeddryn couldn’t speak any more.
Just rest, said Arenadd. Whether you give up or stay silent, it’s up to you now. Do what you think you can do. The gods can’t demand any less.
No, Saeddryn thought. That wasn’t true. The gods always demanded more.
But she said nothing, and let herself rest there in the shadows that weren’t hers to command any more. And even though she knew what lay ahead, and what the outcome would eventually be, she felt almost glad to be where she was, and glad that Arenadd was there. No matter what happened, she would feel better knowing he was with her.
The days that followed were a nightmare.
As she had promised, Laela returned every day, and brought Kullervo and the torturer with her. Brother and sister stood by and watched as the nameless Amorani did her work, neither one speaking to Saeddryn, though every session began the same way, with Laela asking once again where Caedmon was.
Every day Saeddryn said nothing, and every day the torture continued.
It was torture unlike anything another prisoner could have endured, since Saeddryn could not die or be injured beyond recovery.
Nor was she allowed to escape into unconsciousness. Her tormentor always seemed to know exactly when to stop, always bringing her just to the brink but no further.
Trapped underground, Saeddryn could not see the moon or the stars, and time soon melded together into an endless succession of punishments. Waiting for it to end, waiting for it to resume, and never being free of pain in all that time.
Pain and the memory of pain were her constant companions in that cell, along with Arenadd, who whispered to her sometimes. Sometimes he tried to console her, but more and more often he pleaded with her just to give in. Give in and end it, and spare them both.
She did not give in.
But Saeddryn wasn’t the only one suffering; Kullervo was too. Every day he had to go with Laela and watch what took place in that cell, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it. And worse, he knew that it was all his fault. He had brought Saeddryn to this. But what choice had he had? He couldn’t have let her go, but he couldn’t bear to watch her agony, and the longer he had to, the more he wanted to do something. Even if he couldn’t stop it, he wanted to be allowed to leave and not to have to see it any more.
But Laela needed him there, and she wouldn’t let him leave. Only she had the power to stop it, but she wouldn’t, and when Kullervo pleaded with her in private she was dismissive.
‘If she got the chance she’d do the same to us,’ she said flatly. ‘Remember that. Don’t ever ask me again, Kullervo.’
‘But can’t we just kill her?’ asked Kullervo. ‘She’s not going to talk.’
‘It ends when she decides to end it,’ said Laela. ‘An’ that’s all there is to it. Now, go an’ get some rest.’
So Kullervo gave in and continued to stand by in silence, hating himself for being so weak, for not knowing what to do other than what he was told.
He watched as Saeddryn’s body was torn and mutilated bit by bit. He watched her scream and plead and try to fight back. But despite everything she would not give in, and when Laela coldly ordered for the torture to continue, Kullervo watched her finally descend into insanity.
When that happened, even Laela saw sense. She told the torturer to stop, and the three of them stood there and watched Saeddryn babble and moan to herself, sometimes sobbing softly.
‘That’s it, then,’ Laela said in disgust. ‘We’ll leave her for now. If she’s still like this tomorrow, we’ll get on with things. Caedmon won’t be a threat without her anyway.’
She let the torturer out of the cell and turned dismissively away.
But Kullervo’s eyes had stayed on Saeddryn. He reached out gently and put a big hand on Laela’s shoulder. ‘Wait.’
Laela stopped. ‘What?’
‘Let me in there,’ said Kullervo. ‘Let me talk to her.’
Laela’s eyes narrowed. ‘Why?’
‘I just …’ Kullervo looked past her into the cell. ‘She’s family. Just let me talk to her.’
‘Fine.’ Laela handed him the key. ‘But Kullervo … don’t do anythin’ stupid.’ She stayed outside to watch.
Kullervo unlocked the door without replying, and went into the cell.
Saeddryn half lay at his feet, held up from the floor by her chains. Her head hung downward, as if she were staring at the blood beneath her, and Kullervo saw her ruined hands shaking uncontrollably.
He knelt beside her and lifted her head into his hands. ‘Saeddryn,’ he murmured in his gentlest voice.
Saeddryn’s trembling stopped for a moment. Then she started to cry — horrible, painful sobs that turned the trembling into ugly convulsions and made her wasted body jerk against its restraints.
Kullervo consoled her as well as he could, embracing her awkwardly and speaking softly to her. ‘It’s all right, Saeddryn. It’s all right.’
The words were meaningless, and stupid as well. Nothing was all right. Everything was in pieces, just like her sanity. Even his own world felt as if it were coming apart.
Saeddryn’s sobs died down eventually and she relaxed against him, taking comfort from his presence.
Forgetting everything, even caution, Kullervo reached out and started to unfasten her manacles. He freed her wrists and her waist, ignoring Laela’s warnings, and pulled her onto his lap, hugging her to him as if she were a child.
Saeddryn did not try to escape. She clutched at him, or tried to, and sighed a long, deep sigh.
Outside, Laela came up to the bars and banged on them with her fist. ‘Kullervo!’ she said. ‘What the blazes are yeh doin’? Put them chains back on her right now or I’ll have yeh in a set of yer own!’
Kullervo glanced over at her. There were tears on his face. ‘It’s all right,’ he said. ‘I need to help her.’
‘No, yeh don’t! She’s tried to kill yeh three times!’
Kulle
rvo turned away from her, and murmured to Saeddryn again. ‘It’s all right. It’s over. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.’
‘Arenadd?’ Saeddryn whispered.
Kullervo hesitated. But then he decided to let her believe it. If it made her feel better, it wouldn’t hurt anyone. ‘Yes, it’s me, Saeddryn,’ he said. ‘It’s Arenadd.’
Her eye had opened, and she looked up at his scarred face. ‘Yer back. Yer alive. I feel a heart … a warm heart beatin’ …’
‘That’s right,’ Kullervo smiled. ‘I’m mortal.’
‘Good …’ Saeddryn’s eye closed. ‘It’s all up with me, Arenadd. Leave me. Go back t’Caedmon. He needs ye now. Be a father to him.’
‘I will,’ said Kullervo.
Laela was pressed up against the bars, listening. ‘Where is he?’ she hissed. ‘Where is he?’
‘On the island,’ Saeddryn muttered. ‘Still with the lost tribe. He’s got the tattoos now, but he won’t leave till … till I go back an’ tell him it’s time. Ye go back, Arenadd. Go tell him … say his mother loves him, say it …’
‘I will,’ said Kullervo. ‘But I don’t know the way. Where is the island?’
Dead silence fell. Laela held her breath.
‘North,’ Saeddryn said at last, eye still closed. ‘North … west … off the coast of the First Mountains, remember? Where the lost tribe …’ She trailed off into silence, and something that might have been sleep.
‘Come out of there now,’ said Laela, breaking the moment. ‘Bring her with yeh, an’ keep hold of her. We ain’t takin’ chances, no matter what.’
Kullervo removed the last of the chains from Saeddryn’s ankles and stood up with her huddled in his arms. ‘So now you know,’ he said weakly.
Laela’s face was alight with determination and triumph. ‘Yeh did good, Kullervo. I’m proud of yeh. Now, let’s go. It’s time t’put an end to her. No way I’m leavin’ it any longer.’
She led the way out of the dungeons with the guards forming up on either side of Kullervo, who carried Saeddryn out of there. Laela felt light-headed. It was over. At last it was over, and Kullervo had helped to end it.
