by Aileen Fish
She wasn’t sure how much longer the potatoes and flour would last, and she couldn’t make a run into town with all those men around to see her. How ironic it would be to buy back some of her own potatoes to feed her family. The rest of the vegetables had been eaten or trampled. Only a third of the cornstalks still stood in the field, so at least they’d have that to eat come winter.
When she reached the creek, a man stepped out of the woods, a rifle in his hand. His clothing was filthy, the smell of his body overwhelming her in the morning heat. She was tempted to take her bottle of peppermint oil from her pocket and dab some more under her nose. The oil was the only way to mask some of the horrid odors coming from the bodies of the dead men and horses on Oak Hill.
The man squinted at her, almost a leer. “What you hiding in that rock house, girl? I seen you coming down here every day.”
He didn’t wear a uniform, but she’d seen him near the house on the day of the battle so she guessed he was a rebel. She wanted to ignore him but feared he’d follow her. “It’s where we keep the milk and eggs.” She lifted the milk can she carried to make her point.
“Yeah, but you don’t come back right away. I bet you got a soldier in there. You got a Yank in there?”
Em told herself if he believed that, he would have checked before now. “It’s cool inside. And quiet. I go there to get away. With my mule gone I can’t work the fields, so I have little to keep me busy.”
“I don’t believe you. I say we go take a look-see.”
Her stomach dropped. What would the rebels do to Levi if they found him? If he were healthier, they’d take him prisoner. Wounded as he was, would they leave him to die peacefully? While the Confederate doctor and the soldiers at the house were kind enough to Em and her family, she had no idea what the rules of battle were, if there was such a thing. “Don’t you think if a soldier was hiding around here, he’d have been discovered by now? More likely he’d have left with his battalion when they returned to Springfield.”
The rebel tramped toward her through the water. “Come along. If your springhouse is empty, there’s no reason for me not to go look, is there. Besides, you might have some eggs hidden there. I ain’t had none since the day of the battle.”
Em bit her tongue to keep from pointing out the lack of eggs was because the chickens had all been killed. She began to walk slowly, desperately trying to think of something to keep this man from finding Levi. For a moment, she wished she had brought the rifle with her, but she’d let Maggie hold onto it in case there was trouble at the house.
With her last few steps to the springhouse door, Em was certain she would vomit. She’d kept Levi alive this long only to have some rebel kill him? Even if they didn’t shoot him outright, the wagon ride to a prison, even just the ten miles to Springfield, would have the same result.
She closed her eyes and said a prayer, then yanked open the door.
The floor where Levi should have been was bare. Not even the blankets remained. Her gaze shifted quickly to the shelf where she’d folded his uniform jacket. Only jars of beets sat there. Confusion warred with relief, but she turned on the rebel. “You see? No one’s here. And no eggs. Now let me get on with my day.”
He grumbled something before walking away.
Em carried the milk can into the small room and set it out of the way. Where had Levi gone? And how? Had he awakened during the night and wandered into the woods?
Her pulse raced. He had to be weak. If he’d wandered off he could be lying somewhere needing help. Rushing out the door, she searched the field for signs of him, or any rebels nearby. Seeing no one, she entered the woods. Where was Rufus when she needed him? He’d be able to find anything.
Like her rifle, she kept Rufus by the house. She couldn’t be too careful, at least until the last of the southern army rode off.
Daylight broke by the time she was twenty or thirty yards into the woods. She realized how futile her efforts were, not knowing when he might have left or what direction he’d have gone. For all she knew, he’d been discovered during the night and taken away.
Her chest ached. Her throat burned. Levi had to be safe.
“Miss Emily.” Jasper’s low voice carried from the left.
“Where are you? Do you know where the lieutenant is?”
“I’m here,” Levi responded, his voice weak, raspy.
Em gasped. “Where? I don’t see you.” She ran in their direction, tripping over a vine and falling on her face.
“Are you all right?” Levi called.
“Yes. Just clumsy.” She dusted her hands after standing, then peered through the brush. “I see you!”
He leaned against Jasper, his arm over the taller man’s shoulder. He looked horrid and wonderful all at the same time. She desperately wanted to hug him, but feared she’d knock him over.
“Can you see all right? The doctor said you might be blind in that eye.”
“I see a big bandage below my eye, and the prettiest girl I know standing in front of me,” he answered with a big grin.
She was certain he could also see the blush his words brought on. “I see you’ve suffered head damage. Jasper, we must get him back in the springhouse before he goes truly mad on us.” She wrapped his free arm over her shoulder.
They moved slowly. Em held her breath, certain with each crack of a branch someone would discover them. She couldn’t believe the luck that Jasper had come to Levi’s rescue once again. “How did you find him, Jasper? How did you know he was gone?”
“I took him away, missy.”
“How? I would have seen you.”
“I’ve been stayin’ close ta the springhouse at night so no one could hurt him any more than he already is. I come ta check on him this mornin’ and there he was, awake and thirsty. While I was in the springhouse, I heard voices. When I saw that reb, I knew he was trouble, so I helped the lieutenant into the woods.”
“Dragged me is more like it,” Levi said.
“Well, sir, you wasn’t movin’ fast enough.” Jasper chuckled.
Levi joined him. All the tension burst at once from Em, and she began to laugh, too. By the time they reached the springhouse, she was nearly crying with hysterical laughter.
“I love the sound of your voice, but someone might hear you,” Levi warned.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was so certain you were dead.”
“I can’t be dead,” he said. “I’m too tired, and hungry and thirsty to be dead.”
CHAPTER TEN
August 20, 1861
Levi had slept through most of that week, waking each time to cool darkness. He lost track of day and night, only seeing Em twice a day when she came to feed him and dress his wounds. She only kept the lamp lit while she was there for safety reasons.
“The rebel soldiers are watching me,” she’d explained. “I have to be careful about how long I stay.”
He was awake when she brought him some bread, still warm from the oven, along with the daily can of milk. “Oh, good. I am getting my appetite back, I fear,” he said as he sat up.
She handed him the bread, scooped a small jar into the milk and handed it to him. “I heard the last of the men are leaving the house today. You can come sleep in Tom’s bed. Ma said Harvey can sleep with her.”
The news cheered him. “It’ll be nice to see everyone again, and look at something other than these stone walls. I need to get my strength back so I can return to my company.”
Em’s eyebrows pulled together. “Must you return? You should be discharged because of your injury. We can take the wagon to Rolla so you can request it.”
He cupped her face with his palm. “I know you worry, but my work with the army isn’t done.”
“You could have died! Is that the only way you’ll see that it’s finished?”
She didn’t understand the drive he felt to keep the Union whole. He couldn’t walk away from the fight now. Sure, he still had headaches often, but those would pass, he was certain.
“I don’t claim to be invincible, but I don’t believe I will die in battle.”
“You almost did.” Her voice grew thick. “You don’t know what I’ve been through. How each time I came in here, I placed my hand on your chest to be certain you still breathed. I didn’t nurse you and keep you safe from the Confederates so you could run out and get shot again.”
She burst into tears. Levi pulled her into his arms. “Shhh. I’m all right now, thanks to you. I’ll be forever grateful to you for saving my life.” He stroked her hair while she cried herself out.
When she’d slowed to just sniffles, she cleared her throat and spoke again. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me. I was only thinking of you while I took care of you, not of myself. I can’t tell you what to do with your life. If you feel you belong in the army, I have to let you go.”
He lifted her chin so she had to meet his gaze. “Where I feel I belong is with you. But if the Confederate states have their way, Missouri will be under their laws. I want us to get married, have a family, and I don’t want to raise our children in a place where people are allowed to own other people.”
Her eyes had grown wide as she listened.
“I love you, Emily Gilmore. I did even before you saved my life. Say you will marry me when the fighting is done.”
Em’s face lit up. “Yes, of course I will. I love you, too. I can’t imagine any other life than beside you.”
Unable to keep his joy inside, Levi pressed his lips to hers, sealing their love.
~*~
With the rebels gone, Em, Maggie and Billy set about repairing the farm. Levi did what he could, more each day, but he was nowhere near his old self. He grew tired so easily, and his head would throb after an hour or two in the sun.
Jasper moved back into his room in the barn and did a majority of the heavy work. Levi was immensely grateful to him.
As he sat in the shade one afternoon with Em and Billy, Levi asked, “What will you do about chickens and pigs?”
“I’ll ask Mr. Harris the next time I’m in town. It’s possible some of the farms around weren’t raided. Some might have an extra couple of hens and a rooster they could part with, and by next spring we’ll have enough layers to sell eggs again.”
“What about pigs?”
“Same thing. We’ll ask around and buy a few. I’ll miss Cletus’ stud fees, but it can’t be helped until we have a good boar again.”
They took the wagon to town the next day. It was the first time Levi had been off the farm since the battle at Oak Hill. They traveled in the opposite direction from the hill, which came as some relief. Levi hadn’t remembered how he’d been shot, or much of the battle itself, and feared seeing the location would revive those memories.
Mr. Harris was relieved to see Em. “I heard they fought on your farm and took it over. I feared the worst.”
She grimaced. “For the most part they were respectful, but our crops are ruined, and the chickens and pigs gone.”
“I have some seed in the back room I can let you have. You can get a few fall crops in. With luck, we’ll have a late start to winter.” Mr. Harris thumbed through his record book. “You have some credit, still. What can I get for you? Did those soldiers leave you any food?”
“Thank you. We have what was in the springhouse,” she said. “And there was a ham left in the smokehouse. Let me have some dried beans and we’ll stretch that out a while.”
She looked around the store. “Flour, eggs if you have them, please. And baking powder. We have jam but no biscuits to eat it with.”
Levi walked over to the display of candy sticks. “Let me have half a dozen of these. And some licorice.”
“We can’t afford—”
He held up a hand to stop her. “I have money of my own and I wish to treat you all. It’s the least I can do. “I shall pay for my purchases now, Mr. Harris. We need a few tins of meat and vegetables. Some coffee and sugar. Oh, and molasses.”
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll have it ready for you.” Mr. Harris began gathering the items.
“Would you know if anyone has a chicken or two they can spare? And piglets for sale?” Em asked.
“Well, the Edwards and the Stonebridges are in the same shape you are. But most of the other farms were untouched. I’ll ask around and have someone send them your way.”
“I’d appreciate it,” she said.
Levi fully expected her to argue on the ride back to the farm, berate him for spending his money on them, but she kept silent. That was as it should be. Her family had taken care of him for so long, this made only a small dent toward repaying them.
“Will you be able to plant anything he gave you before spring?” Levi asked, mainly to break the drawn-out quiet.
“We can cut up some of the seed potatoes to plant, and the peas and carrots should be able to be ready to harvest before we get frost. If we get an early snow, we might lose them all.”
“Let’s hope for a late winter.” He hoped they would have enough food to last them until next year’s harvest. They could hunt for meat, but stew and biscuits became dull after a while. He knew that from being in the army as long as he had.
Early the next morning, he joined Em, Jasper and Billy in the field, where they walked the rows while hunched over, sticking pieces of potato into the dirt. His back ached, and having his head down that way made it pound. He straightened at the end of the row and stretched.
A wave of dizziness hit him hard. Having nothing to grab ahold of, he staggered a few steps.
“Are you all right?” Em asked, rushing to his side.
“I’m fine,” he lied. If he moved his head in the slightest, the field would spin. “It’s probably the humid air. I’ll go sit in the shade a bit.”
“Billy,” Em said, “Go fetch the lieutenant some water.”
The boy took off running.
Jasper walked closely beside Levi, but thankfully didn’t insist on supporting him. A man needed to protect his pride. Levi was tired of being weak. It was time he went back to his company. It was likely no longer his company. They’d have assigned another lieutenant to take over his duties.
He was honest with himself, however. Rolla was at least one hundred and thirty miles away. It would take days to walk there, even when he was stronger. He didn’t mind staying with Em, but not if he couldn’t pull his own weight.
Lowering himself to sit against the tree, he caught Em’s eye. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” She sat a few feet away, her legs curled under her skirt.
“I’m causing you more work. I should be able to alleviate some of what you’re required to do, not add to it.”
She motioned to her hired hand, who’d gone back to planting. “With Jasper back, I have even less to do than when Tom was here. The primary job at hand for you is to heal.”
“It’s taking so long. I’m rarely sick. I’m not used to lying around.”
“It won’t be much longer. Your color is so much better. Your strength will return, too.”
Another two weeks dragged by before Levi was able to work for any length of time without getting dizzy or having his head pound. He’d been able to hide the dizzy spells from Em. He hated making her worry. She had so much to worry about without him.
One evening after supper when the air had cooled slightly, Levi asked Em if she’d like to walk. “I must get used to walking longer distances. Will you come with me?”
“I’d love to.”
“Can I come?” Susie asked, bouncing to her feet from her chair.
“Why don’t you stay and help me read to Harvey?” Ma offered. “He gets tired of hearing my voice all day.”
“All right,” Susie whined. “But I’d rather go walking.”
“We’ll go tomorrow,” Maggie said. “We can see if the paw paws are ripening.”
Levi caught Em mouthing thank you to Maggie. He wished he could add his own thanks, but it wouldn’t be proper.
The sky was still light, the air
warm and thick. He led the way toward the road, remembering to pace himself. Distance rather than speed, at least for the time being. Speed would come.
“Have you thought about returning to the army?” Em asked.
“I think about it daily. Will I be strong enough? When will I be strong enough? Will your family have enough food to make it through the winter?”
Em laughed lightly. “With one less mouth to feed, it’ll last longer. Oh, you know I’m teasing. You’re welcome here as long as you care to stay.”
“I know, and I’m grateful. Your family has been so good to me.”
“What of your family? I know you’ve written them, but I’d think you’d want to see them before marching off again somewhere.”
“I do.” He sighed. “But I have no way of getting there with the Confederates being in Springfield. I can’t catch a stage. I can’t buy a horse at the stables in the city, either. If I’m seen, even wearing Tom’s clothes, they’ll either enlist me or take me prisoner as a yank. I need to make my way to Rolla, report to Major Clanton, and request permission to return home until I’m fully recovered.”
“I doubt anyone around here has a horse to sell. Most were probably lucky to hang on to the ones they had.”
He nodded.
“Perhaps I can go to Springfield for you. Or I can send Jasper. Do you have the money for a horse?”
Levi rubbed his shoulder, which still ached at odd times. “I like the idea of you going alone to Springfield only slightly more than sending Jasper. It wouldn’t be safe for him. You shouldn’t have too much trouble, though.”
“I can take Billy with me. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for someone to need a horse these days.”
“We’re assuming the rebels have left any available.”
“They must have,” Em said. “The stage needs them.”
“Exactly. Any that aren’t owned by the coaching company have probably been appropriated by the army.”
“It won’t hurt to try. As much as I want you to stay, your mother and sisters need to see you are healthy.”
“Well, somewhat healthy.” Thinking of his family made him look to the future, when the southern states had been made to realize their folly in thinking to secede. When he and Em could marry. “My mother will love you. My sisters, too. We’ll want to travel there after we’re married. Perhaps in the winter, when your family can spare us.”
