He smiled in a way that let me think of Jafar from Aladdin. “It won’t work automatically, which means the Empress can’t hit a few keys and send her troops here, which was why I disabled it.” He took a few quick steps, moving across the golden floor to the other corner. It housed a set of pulsing blue crystals that looked strangely similar to the one Dred and Mammon had destroyed. “But now, we can manually align the system and teleport to another spire, assuming we know the correct coordinates.”
“Okay.” I scratched my head as I thought that through. As long as we manually locked on a target, we could move somewhere. “So, how do we get back, then?”
“We use the spire on the other location to lock on our system the same way. Their auto locker will actually work if we’re manually locked on to them, but not otherwise. Or we do the manual thing.” He seemed pretty pleased. “Sure, that means the Empress could teleport her army through to the landing pad during that time, but that’s why we have someone here who can align the device, send us through, then remove the alignment. Then when we’re ready to come back, well, same thing.”
“That sounds great except for the landing pad thing. What’s that?” Despite my question, I was pretty happy. If this worked as Dred said, we could teleport to any of the bases and attack them, and they wouldn’t be able to teleport back.
“That’s the one small snag. Most of these spires are set to teleport to a landing area. This one is actually a bit further down the road.” He came toward me. “Let me show you.”
“That’s fine.” I nodded, waving him off. “So, there’s a big staging area this thing teleports to, so you can presumably move big armies and whatnot.”
“Basically.” He seemed annoyed but stood there watching me, and part of me felt smug. Dred was used to being the most powerful guy in the room, and now he was my bitch.
“Is there a way to teleport directly to the spire?” I asked, nodding to it.
“Yes.” He pointed past me. “The room across from us is another smaller Landing Pad for dignitaries and those types. But we’d never get an army through them.”
“Yeah, I don’t want to get an army through them.” I smiled. “I have a way better idea.”
“Which you’re not going to tell me,” he said after a few moments of silence passed between us.
“Correct.” I waved for him to follow as I turned on my heel. “I’m gonna grab Uriel so you can show her how to work this thing, and then I’m gonna tend to a few things.” He glanced at him over my shoulder and was satisfied to see him follow me. “After that, let’s figure out how to find Nine so we can get the Ark.”
“I thought the Ark was a backup plan?” he asked, confusion swimming across his yellow eye.
“I decided I wanted to do both.” I shrugged. “We do need the Ark, don’t we?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “It should be helpful.”
“And we have both keys now, correct?” I asked, nodding to him. “Or is that not what I think it is hanging around your neck?”
“It is the Key of Salvation.” He looked down at it. “Would you like me to give it to you?”
“Nah.” I waved him off as I approached Uriel. “Keep it safe.”
“What’s up, Arthur?” Uriel asked, but when she caught sight of Dred, her buoyance vanished. “Hey, asshole.”
“Are you still mad ‘cause I wouldn’t let you blow me?” Dred asked, disgust flashing across his face as he narrowed his eye at her.
“I never wanted to blow you because you have a two-inch dick. I bet it wouldn’t even fit past my lips.” She shook her head. “Besides, we all know it was you who wanted me to blow you, and I was like nuh-uh, I only put things in my mouth that could be a choking hazard, if you know what I mean.”
“Anyway,” I said, not wanting to hear any of this story, though I did find it funny that Dred had a small cock.
“Yeah, besides,” Uriel continued unabated, “Arthur is quite literally over three times your size at least. Maybe four.” She nodded at me. “It’s a real mouthful.” Then she mimed giving a blowjob, her cheek bulging as she pretended to shove a cock into her mouth with her hand. “Why, if I wasn’t more of a lady, I’d, well …” She shivered in delight.
“Anyway,” I said once more as I felt Dred turn his glare on me for a second. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I also didn’t care because fuck him. This wasn’t really about me because I really had nothing to do with his tiny penis. “I need you to learn how to use the teleporter thing in the Spire.” I jerked a thumb at Dred. “He’ll show you.”
“Sounds fine,” Uriel said before covering her mouth with one hand conspiratorially. “Though if there were any justice in the world, you’d be the Destroyer, because damn, I heard you can really tear up a pussy.” She nodded to Dred. “Unlike Mr. Baby Penis here.”
28
It took almost four hours to get the rest of my plan set into motion, but by the time I’d met with everyone, I was feeling pretty good about almost everything. There was just one unfortunate snag. It’d take almost five days to complete all our preparations which meant we’d have to survive at least the first wave of attacks from the Empress.
That meant we had to be as strong as possible when that attack came, and there was only one way to do that. Kill Nine and as many of the Generals as we could before that happened.
“There you are,” I said as Sathanus appeared with Jophiel on the hill outside of the cave where Nine supposedly lived. Unlike Ten, she didn’t seem to have a massive town, but then again, given the fact we were on a giant mountain range made of super-heated metal, lava, and spikes, I didn’t see how she could possibly have supported a town.
“I’m not sure if I like this plan,” Jophiel said by way of greeting as she walked over to Dred and me. “If you go after Nine without your army, you will have a much harder time defeating her.”
“There’s nothing for it.” I rubbed my face with my hand. “If we use the Spire to teleport to her, it will show our hand, and we can’t do that. Right now, the Empress doesn’t know it’s functional. We need to keep it that way.”
“I understand why we are doing it this way, it’s just not ideal.” Jophiel looked at the sky.
“Look, you calculated that with Dred’s increased strength from beating Ten, and my bonus based on party members, we don’t need that many to defeat Nine.” I met the Archangel of Wisdom’s eyes. “Were your calculations wrong?”
“No.” Jophiel looked away from me. “But I’d feel better with ten more people at least. Perhaps Lucifer, and the others …”
“You already said the maximum we can take inside is three. Dred is the second strongest person, so he has to come, and only you know the way.” I waved my hand, annoyed with this conversation as I turned toward Sathanus. “You don’t have to stick around anymore. I’ll call when I’m done.” I touched the Mark of Wrath.
“Great.” The dwarven archangel nodded before vanishing without another word. I knew she didn’t really like ferry duty, but since she was the only one with the teleportation ability, we didn’t have a choice. So far, we hadn’t been able to build any kind of gateway between our town in the Darkness and Heaven or Hell. Hell, we still had Phanuel acting to move people and supplies between Heaven, and we’d been working on that problem for far longer.
“I get the feeling she doesn’t like me,” Dred said, eyeing the spot where Sathanus had been standing. “It is odd since we’ve only seen each other a few times.”
“She doesn’t like non-dwarves.” I shrugged. “Don’t take it personally.”
“Hatred slides off me like water off a duck’s back,” Dred replied with a shrug before turning to the cave’s entrance. “Should we go? The longer we remain out here, the more likely Nine is to realize we are coming.”
“I believe she already knows we are coming,” Jophiel added unhelpfully. “That is why this plan is dangerous.”
“My middle name is Danger,” I said with a shrug as I moved toward the cave. From where
we stood on the blackened crag of rock, it reminded me of a serpent’s mouth. A flat ridge of obsidian spread out behind the entrance like a hood, and massive stalactites and stalagmites jutted from the edges of the opening like fangs. The smell, acrid and sulfurous, filled the air, and every time I inhaled, I could feel it eat away at me a little bit.
Sure, it was nothing my healing abilities couldn’t handle, but at the same time, it was annoying.
“Be wary of traps,” Jophiel said as I moved to the front of the snake’s maw and peered inside. It was pitch black inside, and as I stared at it, I gripped Caliburn, thinking.
“Nine does not need traps,” Dred said, raising an eyebrow at the archangel. “You know that.”
“Maybe that has changed since we’ve come here.” Jophiel countered while I drew Caliburn and pointed it into the cave.
“It’s not been near long enough for that to occur.” Dred moved beside me. “Do not fear the traps, and besides, even if there were traps, you’d heal.” He stepped past me into the cave without a care in the world.
“That’s not what worries me,” I said, pushing a bit of power into my sword and causing the sigils etched into it to blaze to life, illuminating the cave with sapphire energy. “I was just thinking about something.”
“About what?” Jophiel asked, coming up beside me as I followed Dred inside. “Maybe I possess the answer to your query?”
“You said the Generals gain their power from worship, like Ten.” I was about to turn and gesture out the cave like that would indicate the fallen General, but decided against it. “But I don’t see any worshipers.”
“Nine does not require them in the traditional way,” Dred said as Jophiel opened her mouth. “She has a direct line to the Empress and draws her power that way.” He smiled. “She is the most trusted of the Empress’s many hands, and through that bond receives her strength.”
“Which is why this plan might end terribly,” Jophiel said, shaking her head. “If Nine knows we’re here …”
“She doesn’t, and even if she does, she won’t be all powered up like you think.” Dred shook his head.
“Wait, pause, hold on. Explain what the fuck you’re talking about?” I said, gesturing at the pair of them with my sword.
Dred rolled his eyes. “Because Nine draws her strength directly from the Empress, her strength is variable. If she has appropriate time to prepare, she could be much stronger than normal.” He waved a hand. “However, she would have to visit the Empress for such a gift, and it’s not exactly easy for her to venture forth from here to the nearest Spire. That’s almost a two-day walk, even for her.”
“How do we know the Empress has not powered her up more?” I asked, now understanding Jophiel’s hesitation. Instead of fighting the ninth most powerful General, we might be attacking someone exponentially stronger than we were because she was all hopped up on the Empress’s juju.
“The Empress is a greedy bitch. She makes Mammon look like a goddamned saint.” Dred snorted, turning his yellow eye on me. “She hasn’t given Nine power in a long time because no one would ever come here.” He shrugged. “She is simply strong enough to deter someone like you, and until recently, you could not even kill Ten.” He smirked. “It is not as though sitting in a cave is a job you would waste on someone even remotely talented when you don’t have to.”
“Oh.” That made sense. If what Dred was saying was true, Nine had only been given enough strength to keep me from killing her. Since it hadn’t been very long, it was likely Nine hadn’t made the journey to the Empress for more power.
“Betting your enemies are dumber than you is a stupid plan,” Jophiel said, rubbing her temples. “It leaves too much to chance for my liking.”
I was inclined to agree with the Archangel but didn’t see the point. If Dred were right, we’d win easily. If he were wrong, we’d win, but it’d be more difficult. Either way, I was going to kill the fuck out of Nine, get the Ark, and save my people. That was what I knew. Everything else was details.
After another hour or so of following Jophiel through a billion winding tunnels, we approached a door embedded into the space in front of us. It was emblazoned with runes I couldn’t read and covered in glowing golden fire. While I couldn’t feel the heat of it, I could see wavy lines in the space between us and it.
“Heaven’s door.” Dred gestured at it. “The first test.” He fingered the key around his neck. “Know that once I unlock it, the Empress will know we’re here. She will send people.”
“So that gives us two days to kill Nine. I’m not seeing the worry.” When no one said anything, I nodded to him. “Open it up.”
29
As Dred approached the door, the key in his hand began to glow with the same golden fire. As flame leaped from its edges, the Destroyer extended his hand, and the flame on the door receded, revealing a silver lock in the shape of a lion’s maw locked in an eternal roar. The keyhole was situated between the creature’s massive fangs, and as Dred shoved the key into it, the entire corridor shook.
The runes emblazoned across the door’s surface began to flare as the sound of whirring gears and grinding stone filled my ears. My nerves dialed themselves up to eleven as I took a quick look around. Fortunately, I found nothing trying to sneak up on me.
Dred turned the key in the lock, and as he did, the door shattered into a million pieces of flitting fire that swirled upward like a tornado, illuminating a thousand stalactites, all ready to fall and stab us to death.
That’s when I saw them. The myriad of bats just beyond where the door had been, each strung up among the stalactites, their wings wrapped around their bodies. Only as the tornado of golden flame hit the ceiling and spread across it like a wash of lava, the bats began to stir. Their massive wings lit with golden flame, and as they unfurled them, I swallowed hard.
“What the fuck are those?” I cried as the first of the creatures opened its eyes and stared right at me. Its beady, golden eyes narrowed in fury before it opened its massive jaws and roared like the lion-headed creature it was.
The sound of it nearly shattered my eardrums, but I didn’t really care about that as much as I cared about the billion bats behind it that also looked right at me.
“Lion Bats,” Dred said, Excalibur already in his hand, but even though he stood in front of me, the bats didn’t seem to care much about him. Not that it mattered right now because the tornado of fire was still between them and us. For the moment, they didn’t seem to want to travel through it to get to us, and honestly, I couldn’t blame them.
Gripping Caliburn tightly, I stepped forward, raising my blade. “Well, let’s kill us some Lion Bats then. Even though it’s a stupid name.”
“I just made it up because the Darkness word for them isn’t pronounceable,” Dred replied, glancing at me. “Things are scarier when they have no name,” he pointed Excalibur at them, “and I fear nothing.”
I opened my mouth to respond when a voice erupted from the swirling tornado, and the eye of the Empress appeared in its vortex.
“So, you have come, Builder. I wondered when you would.” The eye flicked from me to Jophiel before settling on Dred. “So, this is what you mean by always and forever.” Laughter followed. “Do not worry, Dred, I will not kill you. I will keep my bargain. You shall live forever.”
The tornado vanished, and in the wake of her words, the bats leaped from the ceiling, coming straight toward me. As they flew by Dred, leaving the Destroyer standing there like an idiot, I took a step backward, giving myself a bit of space and raised my free hand to unleash a blast of Hellfire.
The fireball erupted from my outstretched palm, cleaving a hole through the center of the bats’ charge and filling the air with smoke and the smell of charred meat. The rest was on me a second later, slamming into me like a hurricane of biting teeth and scratching claws.
I lashed out, my mind traveling back to when I’d released Mammon’s lands from the Darkness, to when I’d spent a year fighting the roc
k-strewn wind. It had been much the same then. Step. Dodge. Thrust. Parry. Dodge.
My body moved on autopilot as my blade slashed through the air, cutting through bats that tried to latch on to me. More fell to my fists and feet, my elbows and knees. Magic leaped from me, and as I stepped forward, shattering the bats with every blow, I realized Dred and Jophiel were both helping me. The bats ignored them as they struck at the mass from behind, picking off the bats as I moved, going for the ones most likely to throw off my attacks.
Sweat had covered my face by the time I impaled the last bat through the jaws with my sword and burnt it to a crisp with a sapphire blast of energy that cleaned off my sword. As its body struck the stone, I wiped my brow with the back of one hand and flung the sweat to the ground.
“That wasn’t so bad,” I said, taking a deep breath. It had been a while since I’d worked that hard, and while none of the bats had been particularly strong, there had been a lot of them, and even an elephant could fall given enough ants biting at it.
“Speak for yourself,” Jophiel said, her nose turned up as she wiped bloody bat goo off her cheek. “I’m covered in their guts. It’s quite disgusting.”
“You’re a pretty good fighter,” Dred said, looking me up and down as he sheathed Excalibur. “I’d thought you were all strength. Just so much faster and stronger than your enemies that it didn’t matter, but you’re actually skilled.” He nodded in appreciation. “That alone makes you different from the other Builders.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. “I thought many of them were skilled.” As I spoke, I gestured for Jophiel to lead us onward. She nodded and began walking as I moved next to Dred.
“Some were but most? Most of those sad sacks got so obsessed with being able to fuck an entire world full of hot demons that they never bothered to improve themselves.” He shook his head. “They thought being the Builder was enough.” He touched Excalibur’s hilt. “But they were never a match for my strength, so they ought to have trained harder.” He turned his eyes toward the ceiling for a moment. “Me? I always knew I wasn’t good enough. I started out against a very strong Builder. He was ten times as skilled as I was.” He touched his face where the scar ran across his blinded eye. “He gave me this as a lesson in the difference between our strength.”
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