by G. Akella
Once they had made their purchase, Max dragged his companions toward the exit—not that they resisted much. It wasn't until they were a mile away from that crazy place that he finally felt like he could catch a breath in peace.
They departed from Ellorian around noon, heading south.
"Well, heck, we sure aren't in Moscow anymore," Bonbon jumped up, plucking a yellow fruit that looked like a large lemon from a tree along the roadside. He took a bite, winced, spat and threw the "lemon" into the bushes.
"If you stuff everything we see on our way into your cakehole, I'm not sure we'll get all that far," said Luffy pensively, watching the bald warrior spit and grimace. "And how is your Moscow relevant?"
"All the train stations are outside city limits here, you see," said Bonbon, wiping the tears from his eyes. "As for Moscow, they've been promising to do that for fifty years now, but without actually doing anything so far."
"If you ask me, I'd much rather take a caravan directly from Ellorian than schlep down the road for six miles, breathing dust," Max noted.
"Same here," Luffy nodded. "By the way, we should have left all our money in a private room," he sighed. "We only need three gold for the road, and we have eleven here. Some scoundrel is bound to steal them." Luffy gave a level 32 rogue passing by them a long stare, and shook his head.
"If we come across an inn, we can stop for half an hour," Max decided not to argue.
They found an inn about an hour into their journey. The building of the standard design stood at the very edge of a forest. Bonbon refused to come inside, plopping down on the grass nearby.
"Don't drink too much," Luffy shook a finger at him. "No one here feels like dragging your drunken carcass around afterwards."
"Yeah, like you're going to be the one doing the dragging," grunted the tank.
"Oh, not me for sure," agreed the mage. "But I'm worried about Max."
"Enough with the banter already," Max sighed, grabbing Luffy by the sleeve and pulling him towards the inn. "Let's get going."
The tall fair-haired elf with the face of a seasoned thug gave Max a room key, then poured Luffy a pint of dark ale, all for one silver coin. Then he returned to what he had been doing before being interrupted—namely, wiping a glass with a piece of cloth. The innkeeper performed this operation so meticulously that one might have thought the vessel in question to be one of the holiest relics in the whole of Great Forest.
Luffy decided against going upstairs, saying he had nothing to do in his private room, so Max went alone. He entered his room, took a quick shower, put seven gold coinss in the vault, then went downstairs and handed the keys over to the innkeeper.
"Thank you," he nodded to the owner. "The room is free, we're leaving."
"Is there anything wrong with the room, sir?" inquired the innkeeper, eyeing Max ironically.
"No, the room is fine—it's just that we have some urgent business to attend to."
"Wait a moment," said the elf. He went to the pantry, then returned with a large parcel in his hand. "Here are some supplies for your journey. On the house."
Max thanked the innkeeper. Waving at Luffy who appeared to have gotten lost in his thoughts, the two friends headed outside. The parcel contained two smoked hens and some greens—likely of the edible variety—and a round loaf of white bread. Thanking the hospitable innkeeper in his thoughts, Max vowed to visit the inn again in the future.
Ten open wagons drawn by moose, around twenty mounted guards, and ten drivers armed with bows comprised the entire caravan scheduled to pass through Talyan. Max could only guess at why the caravan had to be accompanied by twenty level 200 soldiers. Who could possibly be a menace in zones of levels 15-30? NPC brigands? That wasn't even funny—how many brigands would be needed to capture a caravan of this sort? Two hundred? Three? And why the hell would they want to mess with a caravan in the first place?
"They provide protection from PKs," explained Bonbon. "There used to be lots of assholes here who would level up to a hundred and above, and then return to starting zone on purpose to boost their kill count by ganking noobs. I don't think there are more than a handful left by now. RP-17 dyed them all blue after the patch, and few are stupid enough to risk forced labor or enormous fines. But you have to admit that it feels a lot safer with the guards."
Max paid three gold coins to the caravan driver and received his change. Passage to Talyan cost nine silver pieces, and his group was billeted in the seventh wagon. Oddly enough, there weren't too many people on the caravan. Everyone so inclined must have left the elven capital already, thought Max, eyeing the half-empty wagons—rectangular wooden boxes with benches at the sides. By the look of it, a wagon could carry around ten people at the most.
The caravan set off at four in the afternoon, covering barely twenty five miles before nightfall. The wagons dragged along like turtles, stopping for lengthy intervals at what seemed like every signpost. Max was checking out the views for a while, admiring the skill of the zone designers, but eventually grew bored and started to examine his talents. Luffy was napping on the opposite bench, and Bonbon seemed to be extremely bored. Having drunk about half a quart of the moonshine that was his present, futilely trying to get Max or Luffy involved, he then started to pester the driver. The latter had initially ignored their bald friend's questions, but as they got more and more personal, the driver turned around and gave Bonbon a gruff promise that he would rip off his ears if he carried on in that vein.
"Fine, fine. I really am attached to my ears," said the bald man in an affronted tone, falling asleep shortly afterwards.
By the morning they had about sixty more miles to go till Talyan. Bonbon had a huge hangover, and kept cursing the roads and the fools who drove their wagons like tortoises with injured butts. Having bought a bestiary of the undead from some guy riding in a nearby wagon, Luffy was engrossed in reading it.
Around noon, a fellow passenger joined them in their wagon—a fair-haired level 22 huntress nicknamed Masyanya. She pursed her lips as she eyed her traveling companions, then sat down in the corner of the wagon, took out a book, and didn't look up once she started reading.
The girl was wearing brown leather trousers tucked into low boots and green leather armor. With long fair hair, almost white in color, gray eyes and a slightly pug nose, she had an air of predatory beauty around her, yet her face remained pinched in a grimace of disgust, as if she were a purebred countess forced to endure the company of three country bumpkins in a creaky cart.
Bonbon, having dozed off about three hours ago, eventually woke up. He stretched in satisfaction and gave a yawn so wide that Max feared their bald companion might dislocate his jaw. Bonbon frowned at Luffy, still reading his book, shook his head in frustration, took out his precious bottle and made two hefty gulps. Putting the bottle back, he lit a cigarette... and that was when he noticed their fair-haired companion. His eyes lit up, he rummaged in his bag, produced the bottle again, and offered it to the huntress.
"Young lady, perhaps, at least you will share a drink with me?"
"Buzz off," said the girl without so much as looking in his direction.
"Now what have I done to offend the local gods to be cursed with two straight-edge doofuses and a malicious blonde for companions?" the bald warrior groused, taking another pull from the bottle. "Like sharing a train car with three old ladies! This is officially the worst."
Frowning at Luffy's smirk, Bonbon turned back to the huntress.
"Young lady, how about you give me your number and let me borrow a pencil to write it down with?"
"Wouldn't you like a drum, too?" the girl peered at the bald warrior.
"Why would I need a drum?"
"For you to freaking beat it while you run at the head of the caravan!" snarled the huntress, returning to her book.
The expression on the bald man's face nearly made Max burst with laughter.
"Bonbon, leave her alone, will you?" he told his companion, barely managing to hold back his grin. "Yo
u can see that the lady isn't in the mood for a conversation."
"Hold on, Max," the tank shook his head. "We have just witnessed an extraordinary feat—a miraculous display of wit from a blonde who has thus revealed herself as a potential interlocutor of interest. Even if she had written that burn down on a scrap of paper at some point and spent six months memorizing it, I'd still call that worthy of respect." Bonbon blew the smoke through his teeth and looked at the girl again. "However, I have a hunch that I know the reason behind her grumpy mood, and it isn't PMS," he chuckled.
"What, you mean she just doesn't want to talk to a boozehound?" Luffy winked to the bald warrior.
"Nope," Bonbon waved his hand at the mage, then looked at the huntress again. "Where's your pet, girl?" he asked in an oily voice, and, without waiting for her to respond, cracked one of his trademark jokes. "After all, a hunter without a pet is like a guy all smeared in shit in the middle of a library!"
Luffy couldn't restrain himself and guffawed—evidently, the scene described by Bonbon flashed quite vividly in his mind. Max bit his lip and took three deep breaths. The girl paused for a moment, then looked at the bald warrior compassionately, and said, pronouncing every word very distinctly:
"I have always been amazed by the ability of some people to cause amazement in others by the mere fact of their existence. After all, one usually assumes idiots of such magnitude cannot exist, as their existence would contradict the very laws of the universe. But here you are... A true paradox creating a cognitive dissonance in my worldview. Oddities like yourself ought to be examined and studied in depth. Unfortunately, I am no doctor, and thus cannot be of assistance. Sorry."
Luffy laughed even harder. Max joined him—his restraint could only go so far. Bonbon spent some time digesting the repartee, and then started to laugh with the others, with no discernible malice in his laughter.
"OK, you have convinced me. If you don't feel like talking, so be it," he made a dismissive gesture, having finished laughing. "You lack so much as an iota of human warmth."
"I also lack a pet. And that's the reason I'm going to Talyan," said the huntress in just as level a voice, and returned to her book.
"We're here," said the caravan driver gruffly, stopping at their wagon and halting the moose.
"So where's Talyan?" Max gave him a surprised look.
"There are no routes leading through that craphole directly—it's just a small town on the very edge of the Great Swamp. So you'll have to walk from here. It'll be about three miles along that road marked by the signpost over there," the elf pointed at a crooked pole nearby. He urged the animal forward with his heels. "You have a minute to collect your stuff and leave," he said over his shoulder. "The caravan will start moving after that."
Max hopped out of the wagon, looked at the woodland that lay to either side of the road, and whistled softly. The moon and the stars only shone brightly enough to make out the somber silhouettes of the trees, and the road that the level 50 NPC had pointed out looked more like a path leading straight through a thicket. There was a smell of pine needles and resin in the air, the canopy rustling, the trees creaking in their sleep. Glowing insects of some sort hovered over the Talyan signpost. Crossing a forest at night is hardly a very pleasant affair. The level of the zone was 21, of course, and their party was experienced enough to feel fairly safe here. Still, finding one's way in the dark might prove a chore... Luffy could conjure a light source, and they did have a map, but the journey would still take several hours.
"Right, so where are the porters and the cabs?" Bonbon demanded, looking at the last wagon of the caravan disappearing in the dark.
"There is an all-purpose answer to all questions beginning with 'where,'" Luffy grunted, and looked at Max. "So what are we going to do? I doubt we could order an Uber here."
"Make a light," asked the warrior as he unrolled the zone map. "We are about three miles to Talyan as the crow flies. The path will make it closer to four," he concluded pensively.
"Hey, are you coming? Or are you planning to spend the night here?" Masyanya looked at the forest with some trepidation, then turned to Max.
"We are," he nodded to the huntress. "But why don't you... join our party while we're crossing the forest. You can leave once we get to Talyan."
About an hour later, they noticed a speck of light to the right. As they approached, they saw a two-story wooden building with a palisade around it about a hundred feet off the path. The windows were lit, billows of black smoke coming out of the chimney. The wind blowing from the building carried the aromas of roast meat and cheap ale.
"What the hell is this thing?" Luffy turned toward Max, placing his staff in his left hand.
"An inn, by the look of it," the warrior shrugged. "Kind of weird, though."
"What is weird?" Masyanya asked him.
The huntress had an arrow nocked onto her bowstring, and gave a start at every sound. The girl's posture showed tension. Max spared no expletives in a private chat window to Bonbon to keep his mouth shut. The bald-headed warrior seemed to care not one whit about their surroundings, including the forest, the roar of the nocturnal predators, and the cawing of the birds. He didn't even look around him, absently following Luffy as he carried the magic light, and cursing occasionally when his feet got caught in holes in the ground.
"This inn isn't on the map, that's what weird," Max replied to the huntress. "Anyway, a whole bunch of new objects must have been added after the patch—perhaps they simply forgot to update the map," he conjectured.
"I believe the only inns they place on the map are those located in towns and along major roads," Luffy nodded at the path underfoot, and gave a laugh. "While this path just very barely qualifies to be called a regular road."
"In that case, I don't think there's any point in crossing the forest in the middle of the night. Let's spend the night here, and reach the town in the morning in our own time."
"I only have thirty coppers left," the huntress stared at her boots. "I spent my last money for passage here."
"And still she refused free booze," the bald warrior could not restrain his outrage. "Is that pride or stupidity, I wonder?"
"Bonbon, will you please shut up?" Max cut him short at once and looked at Masyanya. "We have money, don't worry. Hardly enough for a luxury suite at the Holiday Inn, but enough for a room of the regular sort. So come along."
The inn's massive wooden gate was closed, and the best Max could do was thump it with the handle of his sword a few times. They had to wait about five minutes. Finally, a door creaked in the yard, and there was the sound of shuffling steps.
"Who in Hart's name goes there?" a hoarse voice asked from behind the gates.
"Tourists," Bonbon answered instantly. "We were gathering mushrooms, and seem to have lost our way."
"Who?! What mushrooms?"
"Open up already," Max snapped. "The caravan stopped a few minutes ago. We need a place to spend the night. We'll be gone in the morning."
"The caravan, eh? All right, come on in. But don't bother me—I've got meat roasting that might start burning any second."
There was the metallic click of the latch from the other side, and the hinges creaked. Max pushed one of the door's wings with his shoulder and felt something sticky touch his cheek. Cobwebs? He looked at the innkeeper pensively as he shuffled toward the entrance to the inn.
"And lock the gate behind you," he yelled and disappeared inside.
The yard was lit by the dim light of a blue magic lantern swaying in the wind. The moon had vanished behind the clouds a moment ago, and the buildings were but large dark shapes in the weak magical light.
"Are you asleep, Max?" Luffy tugged on his sleeve.
"Nope. It's just weird."
"What's weird?"
"There wasn't a single cloud in the sky when we approached," Max explained. "But take a look at the sky now," he pointed up at the gathering clouds.
"What's so strange about it? Haven't you ever gotten caught
in the rain?"
"All right, never mind that," the warrior gave a wave of the hand, and followed Bonbon toward the entrance to the inn.
"The owner of this joint doesn't give a rat's ass about marketing, by the looks of it," the bald warrior nodded at the crooked rotten board over the door that served as a sign. "Broken Cross, no less... I wonder if they have the same attitude toward food here..."
"Some of us always think with their bellies," Luffy shook his head. "So, what are we waiting for? Let's go in?"
"Wait a second," Max stopped him and turned toward the huntress. "Would you happen to have a mirror on you?"
"What the hell do you need a mirror for, Max? You never struck me as one of those fellows," Bonbon grunted. "Or is there anything about you that I don't know?" He turned to Luffy and winked to him conspiratorily.
"Moron," the mage exhaled glumly.
"Here you go," the huntress gave Max a small round mirror in a metallic frame. "What is it for?"
"I only need it for a couple of minutes. I'll give it back to you as soon as I check something," the warrior replied as he entered the inn.
He found himself in a large hall lit by six oil lamps. The inside design was irregular. The burning fireplace and the spit were at the far side of the hall. To the right of the entrance stood a brick stove with various pots upon it. A narrow wooden staircase led upstairs. A young level 21 elven maiden was standing by the stove, stirring the contents of one of the pots, giving the guests a welcoming look. Two men and two women in green leather armor were sitting at one of the tables in the dining hall. They were talking in low voices and taking sips from tall wooden mugs. NPCs of levels 21-22—local hunters, by the look of it. They looked at the newcomers indifferently, then resumed their unhurried conversation. An elderly level 22 elf nicknamed Thersanyl was wiping one of the tables, darkened by age, with a cloth.
"Got any dark ale, innkeeper?" Bonbon asked the elf right from the threshold.
