“I didn’t mean you any harm, never did,” Richard offered sorrowfully. “I’ll take care of home but in the meanwhile, I do owe you this.” He pulled a roll of fifty-dollar bills from his pocket, with a bright red ribbon tied around it. “Just wanted to let you know I respect your home and your privacy. Besides, rules are rules. I think you’ll like what I picked out. It’s not Starbucks but I think it’s your color.”
“Ahh yeah, it’s just my size too,” she cooed intimately. “Come on in, and bring your present with you.” Dior opened the door wide so he could enter. Richard had the nerve to thank God once he’d been welcomed back into her fold. His hypocrisy knew no bounds nor bore any shame.
Dior held the stack of bills tightly in her clutches. Her enthusiastic smile vanished when Richard pulled her close to put his lips on hers. She jerked away playfully, remembering she hadn’t brushed her teeth since going down on Giorgio in the shower. “Uh-uh, you came before I had a chance to brush. Let me deal with this morning breath then we can talk about hooking up after your meeting. I’ve got some corners to turn but I’m off all day.”
Richard backed off. He paced in the downstairs foyer, thinking of all the things he thought someone else was doing to Dior while he tossed and turned during the night. He was excited about resuming their affiliation, close proximity, and the heated relations that always followed. With that playing loudly in his mind, Richard climbed the stairs. He found Dior putting away her toothbrush and mouthwash. “Hey, I have a minute,” he said as an afterthought. “I was thinking that we could, you know.”
She leered at him like a woman who was fairly interested. “I thought you had to be somewhere.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be right now than here with you like this.” Richard began removing her thick robe. His heart rate quickened when his eyes discovered a naked body beneath it. After spending the night with legitimate fears of never touching her again, he savored it like he had during their first time together. Richard shrugged off his blazer. He perused Dior’s breasts with his hardened tongue, traveling the very surface her last lover had done merely hours ago. Swept up in a haze of passion, Richard pinned Dior against the wall. He sucked on the nape of her neck, panting desperately. Her back arched instinctively when he spread her legs with his eager fingers. “I want you so bad,” he moaned. “I want to feel myself inside of you.” Richard wrestled his pants down with one hand as he probed her wetness with the other. Dior writhed agreeably.
“Don’t let anyone come between us, Richard,” she squealed wantonly as she pressed herself against him. “Come on, baby. Come on.” He obliged, shoving himself into her violently.
“I won’t let anything do that, baby,” he replied assertively. “I promise.” Richard pumped furiously, reveling in the moment. His head was filled with clouds of delusion. Dior’s mind was clear and calculating. She gave him what he needed while getting closer to what she wanted. When Dior felt him nearing a climax, she pushed him away.
“Uh-uh, this was a mistake,” she brooded falsely.
“What? No, this feels too right to be . . . to be wrong,” he debated heatedly. “Look at how you got me all stranded.” He couldn’t help but feel betrayed having been taken to the edge of ecstasy then turned away cold. “I thought you said we were good again, I mean a minute ago it seemed as if . . .” he rattled mindlessly.
“Everything is gravy, baby, but not like this. You were pounding on me like a man with a grudge. If you’re mad, then just say so and we’ll deal with it. I don’t mind it rough when I know where it’s coming from. I need to be sure why you’re here this morning and that you still care for me.” Dior eased closer to Richard, staring at him face-to-face. She ran her fingers down his chest until they were wrapped around his throbbing flesh. “Now then, you get undressed and I’ll get the condoms.” Previously, she hadn’t allowed intercourse without protection, which was yet another method of controlling him. “Business as usual is just that: business. Bareback ain’t nothing to play with, sugar. Many things can go wrong and not any of them are worth the trouble.” Dior convinced Richard to strap up before they got at it. He fussed initially, then common sense prevailed. It was an easy choice after he realized she wouldn’t go any further unless he made the right one.
Richard gave it his all that morning; his stamina was unbelievable. His determination to outlast Dior was legendary. Their bodies flipped and smacked for the better part of two hours. She brought out the tiger in Richard and he loved her for it. There was never a substitute for the way the right woman made a man feel invincible. Richard could attest to that as he climbed back into his clothes, an hour late for his meeting with the contractors at the church. Dior had the presence of mind to stay on top of more than just him. She encouraged Richard to hurry. “You shouldn’t have stayed so long but I’m happy you came.”
“What are they going to do if I’m late, leave? I’m the reason there is a meeting in the first place” was his arrogant reply.
He sauntered back to his car after ten a.m., weak-kneed and quite a bit more weathered than when he arrived. Dior watched him drive away from her window. She exhaled wearily, counted the money Richard paid to reaffirm his commitment to her, then she counted the few remaining condoms in her top drawer. The past twelve hours had all but depleted her stash. She grinned impishly then made a mental note to stock up.
Nineteen
Smoke and Mirrors
While waiting for the elevator on the first floor of Methodist Episcopal Greater Apostolic, Richard stared at his watch. At ten twenty-five, he headed up the stairs toward the third-floor conference room. He blushed over the thought of Carlton Tatum, owner of Tatum Engineering, twiddling his thumbs and secretly licking his chops. He wanted to ink the deal awarding his firm exclusive rights to current and future building projects with a booming church. Richard expected Tatum to be patient and poised to kiss his behind. Arriving well over an hour late for the meeting, Richard found an empty room. He read his watch again, scratching his head curiously.
As he turned to exit the conference room, Phillip blew through the door like a Kansas twister. “So you finally decided to show up!” he grunted, his eyes on fire.
“Yeah, I’m here. Where are Tatum and his head man?” Richard asked with no visible signs of remorse. “You’d think they would have waited.”
Phillip pursed his lips then he huffed disappointedly. “They did wait over an hour for you but you don’t seemed pressed.”
“Why should I be? They want business from me” was Richard’s placid response.
The look on Phillip’s face was disturbing. He eyed the plush carpet as if he wanted to rip it from underneath Richard’s feet. “That’s what I was afraid of,” he said eventually, when the temptation to lash out swelled in the back of his throat. “You have the audacity to think this meeting and the school were both about you. Check yourself before you have all of us following you off a cliff.”
Richard stared Phillip up one side and down the other. “Look who’s stepping out of line now. You need to watch yourself before you say something evil. So I missed a sit-down with a rich white man who wants to get even richer on my back. Yeah, I said it. I’m the reason there are thousands instead of hundreds in the auditorium on Sunday morning. Huh, I’m the reason there is an auditorium. Lest you forget, this was a congregation dying on the vine when I took the job. It wasn’t anything more than a leaky roof with old people and children getting drenched.”
“Funny you should mention that. You’re in danger of tearing apart everything the Lord has done through you, not because of you. I pleaded with the contractors to ‘hang around.’ I said, ‘He’ll be here. You can count on Pastor Allamay.’ Well, you proved me wrong. We’d be lucky to get a good deal on a sack of dirt now.”
After taking a brief moment to calm himself, Richard closed the conference room door. “Alright, we’ve been friends a long time, Phillip. We’ve come a long way together and saw some things neither of us thought we’d live t
hrough, but you’re pressing me and it’s about to get under my skin.” Several years ago, they were involved in a fatal hit-and-run while on the way back from a tent revival ninety miles south of Dallas. A cargo van struck Phillip’s car. Richard was asleep in the passenger’s seat. Their vehicle flew into oncoming traffic and crashed head-on with an SUV. The entire family inside of it died in the accident. A man, his wife, and their infant child perished. Richard wasn’t sure who was at fault but he knew Phillip was just as tired as he was although he refused to stop and rest. Richard suffered facial abrasions and a broken collarbone. Phillip underwent two weeks in intensive care due to a punctured lung. Both men realized how close they came to meeting God that night. Richard was the only one comfortable with bringing it up.
“Man, don’t start with that,” Phillip protested with his hands raised in a halting manner. “It has nothing to do with the fact that you’re slipping and I’ll bet I know what’s behind it.”
“You don’t know what you think you know.”
“Don’t I? Just last night you were here, busting your butt trying to figure out how to make this project proposal more flattering without giving up safety for the children who we’re supposed to be building the school for. Then you turn right around and ditch the whole thing like it didn’t matter at all.”
“I already apologized for being late and actually I’m getting sick of doing it. I’ll call old man Tatum and get him back to the table. He’ll jump at it.”
Phillip seethed beneath the collar. He didn’t believe Richard’s arrogance ran so deep and wide. “I wouldn’t blame him if he told you to go jump in the lake and kiss his wrinkled behind.”
Richard sat on the end of the conference table, staring up at the man who sounded to him like a jilted woman. “Is that what you think I should do, Phillip? Huh? Bend over and kiss that man’s butt? I’m starting to see what this is really about. I think you got your hopes up, then got your feelings hurt. Grow up, brother. This is about money, all about money. Tatum is a businessman. He will reschedule.” Richard stood from the table, stepped up to Phillip, and then insulted him with a dismissive tone. “If you can’t take the heat, you know what you do?”
There was a hint of sadness in Phillip’s eyes. “Is that how you’re going to talk to me? None of this would have happened if you’d dumped Dior like I suggested. It’s time for a reality check, Richard. That sweet young thing has you whipped and she has everybody else standing around waiting on you to show up.” Phillip’s comments caused Richard to look at him with a discerning eye, thinking he was either overreacting or jealous. He leaned in closer to the deacon.
“You look kind of green, Phillip. Is that a bad case of envy? Don’t tell me you’re letting my personal affairs jam you up? Maybe next time you can watch. I’ll ask Dior. She might be wild enough to go for it.”
Phillip didn’t back down an inch. He stood toe-to-toe, trading harsh stares. “I’d be surprised if she doesn’t,” he answered with anger rising in his voice. He found it hard to believe Richard was casually throwing his mistress’s sexual proclivities around like a single man on a street corner. “There was a time you’d never speak that way on holy ground. You’re moving so far from God it makes me sick.”
“Let you tell it,” Richard grunted irritably. “Looks to me you got your panties in a bunch over something that doesn’t concern you.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t come at me like that. I’m also going to tell you what does concern me and then I’m going to leave before I act like the south side thug I used to be.” With Richard standing inches from him, Phillip sneered down his nose as he continued. “Your personal affairs are turning me into something I’m not. I’ve got to deal with Rose looking at me sideways when she knows I’m covering for you. A month ago, I wasn’t lying to my wife and you said you’d stopped lying to yours. Wake up, Richard. This is wrong. Wake up and stop it before you let Dior’s hold on you take all of us down. How do you think it’s gonna look when the newspapers get a hold of it?” The mere thought of that shook Phillip where he stood. “I can’t deal with this anymore. Just let it go and forget about it!” He motioned toward the door when he heard someone outside, but Richard wasn’t ready to let it end there. He grabbed Phillip by the arm and held it tightly.
“You know what? You made an excellent point.” He chuckled rudely while shoving Phillip in the chest. “I don’t need you to be there for me anymore. I’m tired of lying to Nadeen, tired of ducking and hiding. Yeah, it’s over, but not in the way you want it to be. Since I’m all out of alibis anyway, I may as well let the cat out of the bag. Remember what happened in Denver? If I tell it, I may as well tell all of it. What do you think Rose would say about the action you got into while snowed in?” Phillip’s eyes glassed over with disbelief. He opened his mouth but nary a sound came out. “Uh-huh, that’s what I thought. You know as well as I do how sweet secret lovin’ is. Don’t be so fast to rattle my skeletons when we both got plenty of bones buried.”
“You’d better let me go before I knock some sense into you!” Phillip shouted viciously.
“You ain’t that stupid,” Richard snarled. He moved toward Phillip to shove him again but his shoes slipped on the carpet. He landed against the edge of the table. Phillip lunged at him with both fists swinging. “Back the . . . off me!” Richard grumbled beneath his adversary’s weight. Phillip ripped Richard’s shirt. He scuffled to get the upper hand. At each other’s throats, the friendship they’d built crumbled hopelessly. The moment Richard slammed his fist against Phillip’s mouth, all was lost.
Suddenly the door opened. Nadeen, having heard the latter part of their argument, watched her husband and his best friend groveling on the ground. She wanted to intervene but they were fighting like stray dogs. The rage-filled room caused her to mistake their argument about Dior for a lover’s quarrel; she couldn’t move. Several people gathered at the door before the brawl subsided completely.
Richard griped, assessing his damaged clothing. Phillip massaged his swollen lip, then he glared at the collection of spectators gawking at them. “I’m done with you,” Phillip grunted angrily as he staggered by Richard. “Nadeen, I’m sorry,” he said to her in passing. “You didn’t deserve any of this.”
Nadeen was in utter shock. She held out her hand to stop Phillip with the thought of questioning him about the melee. Intuition told her to let him go so he could lick his wounds in private. Unfortunately for Richard, he wouldn’t get off so easily. There was something vile behind the fight and she needed to get at it immediately. With a swollen chest filled with exasperation, Nadeen pressed forward. “Excuse me, y’all, but I need a minute with the pastor,” she hissed toward the stunned onlookers. She pushed the door closed, locking them out before they had a chance to respond.
Now alone with her husband, Nadeen took a minute to compose herself. She stared at him. He was disheveled and dishonored. Although her stark expression left little doubt how bothered she was by the altercation, Richard didn’t appear concerned about her in the least. “You want to tell me what’s been going on with you and Phillip?”
“Nothing,” he said coldly, avoiding eye contact. “Just a disagreement between old friends that got out of hand.”
“A disagreement I’d understand. What I can’t process is what I heard before y’all starting going at each other like . . . like a couple of, oh God, I can’t even fix my mouth to say the word.” Nadeen told herself to be strong and keep a stiff upper lip because she had to know the truth. “Phillip said I didn’t deserve any of this. What exactly is that, Richard?” She watched his feeble attempt at straightening his clothes to regain his composure.
“You’d have to ask him,” he answered plainly, as if not interested in speaking on it any further.
“No, I’m asking you!” she shouted, failing to keep her voice down. “You are my husband and what I deserve is to know why you don’t need Phillip to be there for you anymore. And . . . and what lies are you tired of telling me
?” Nadeen felt sick when she imagined him in Phillip’s arms and their legs intertwined. “I heard you talking about bones and skeletons and alibis, Richard. Tell me what happened and how long it’s been going on and everything you did to have Phillip talking about being turned into something he didn’t want to be!” Amid Nadeen’s hysterical rants, Richard turned a deaf ear. He was overwhelmingly concerned at how the brief skirmish would play out once the congregation got hold of the news.
“I can’t talk about this right now,” he said, too calmly for Nadeen to comprehend.
“You’re going to walk out while we’re in the middle of an important conversation?”
Richard felt his pants pockets for car keys then headed for the closed door. “This is not the place to discuss it,” he mumbled.
“The heck it isn’t. This is where it went down.”
“I’ve got to get some air,” he said, showing traces of remorse for the first time since she began interrogating him. “I’m done. We’ll discuss it when I get home.”
Nadeen huffed furiously. She stood alone in the conference room, ashamed for thinking what she did about Richard and Phillip while drowning in a sea of indecision. Change had always been a strange bedfellow. Having to confront the idea of living with a husband on the down low, as far as she knew, made her shudder. She pondered where she had gone wrong or if his homosexual relationship had anything to do with her. There were far too many questions she wouldn’t get answered until she cornered Richard and demanded them. Nadeen almost laughed at how ludicrous it sounded when hearing her inner voice questioning her husband’s sexuality.
Sinful Too Page 16
