“We can plan our wedding this fall,” Laura insisted. “We can still set the date for the end of December. That’s late in the wedding season, but people will understand. And that will give us time to find a place to stay, and maybe find some work that you can do.” Laura rushed on. “The Lord will provide. Marriage is from Him, John, and He honors love. We won’t have much, but I don’t need much if I have you!”
His face softened for a moment.
“It can be!” Laura almost shouted. She muffled her voice with a quick clamp of her hand over her mouth.
Something like the old grin played on John’s face.
“You can have me as your frau, John.” Laura clutched his hand in both of hers. “I don’t want to say the vows with Wendell or any other man.”
A hint of joy filled John’s sightless eyes. “You don’t?” His hand tightened in hers. “It can be like before? When I could see? When I was a man?”
Laura didn’t hesitate. “You are a man, John. Nothing has taken that from you.”
John shifted in the bed. His hands reached for hers. “Let go,” he said, his voice soft. “You must see what I really am—a blind man.”
Laura was wide-eyed. “But you can see the light!”
A soft smile filled John’s face. “How did you know that? I never told anyone.”
“Because I love you, and love knows.”
“Yah, you do,” John whispered. He held out his arms. Laura embraced him, and they clung to each other.
John finally let go. “Somehow I will walk again—I know I will.”
“And we love each other,” Laura added.
John smiled. “Since we’re going to dream then, let’s dream about our wedding.”
“Oh, John!” Laura sat beside him. She had won the battle. John would wed her this fall.
“We need to find a place…” John began, but stopped. “No, all I want to think about is you, and the sounds of our wedding day. I will hear Bishop Ezra’s voice as he preaches the main sermon, and you’ll be beside me—well, across the aisle on the chairs in front of your living room. I will think of how the house appeared once, and of your face, and I will know that I will touch your eyes that night. I will feel your presence all day, even if I don’t—”
“I know you will see,” Laura interrupted. “Just differently. We will be the same people, and the Lord will help us.”
“I can almost believe.” John hesitated. “You’ve always inspired me to believe, even before this happened.” His hand lingered on his sightless eyes. “Did I love you too much, Laura? Is that why my sight was taken from me?”
“No one can love too much,” she told him.
John didn’t appear convinced. “I do love you. Tell me what the girls will wear in the wedding party.”
Laura took a deep breath. She had believed, and now the Lord had given. This was like a dream. “A dusty blue,” she said, “and a dark blue for me. That will be appropriate. We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”
“Yah,” John agreed. “There are many who will wonder, and we shouldn’t offend them.”
“We won’t offend them,” Laura assured him. “But don’t think about the community right now. Think about us. December will come quickly, and we have many plans that must be made.”
John seemed lost in thought, but his smile hadn’t faded. “I will take up harness work. I can do that. Uncle Junior has a shop north of the community, and I can learn there. I once heard him say that he never has time for all the detailed embroidery that the Englisha want done for their show horses. With my sight gone, I can learn patience. I can work with my hands, and it pays well. Uncle Junior said so.”
“You see the positive!” Laura exclaimed, wrapping John in another tight hug. “The Lord is already speaking. He will supply a small house where we can live and raise our kinner. We don’t need much or anything fancy.” They were silent for a moment. “We must tell your mamm,” Laura said.
John looked toward the window. “I had best tell her, and Daett as well. You shouldn’t be in on this.”
“But I am soon to be your frau.”
John didn’t back down. “I will speak to them myself.” He almost looked like the John of old with his resolute face.
Laura gave him a quick hug. “As you see best then. I guess it’s time to act like you’ll be my husband soon.”
A hint of a smile crossed John’s face. “Yah, it is best,” he agreed. “There are things I must tell Mamm and Daett alone, since they have spoken such strong words against us already and…” John paused, but the resolution on his face didn’t fade away.
“You’ll say the right thing.” Laura’s arms tightened on his shoulder. “I’ll go now,” she said.
“You have been so sweet today,” John told her before she left the room.
At the bottom of the stairs, John’s mamm looked up with concern, but Laura didn’t stop.
“See you soon,” Laura called as she stepped outside and walked down the porch steps.
Chapter Twenty-Four
On Friday evening Laura was washing the supper dishes by herself. Nelson and Lester were upstairs while Daett relaxed in the living room reading his weekly Budget. She should have insisted that Lester help dry the dishes, but he always made such a fuss over women’s work that it wasn’t worth the effort. John wouldn’t act that way, Laura comforted herself. He was kind and gentle, and once they were wed, he would love to help her with the dishes. John’s miracle of walking again would come true. They would work together and linger over the kitchen sink in the winter hours of the coming year. John might be blind, but he could feel with his hands and especially with his heart. She could imagine John pausing to give her a hug as he wiped the plates dry.
Laura smiled and twirled a dish in her hand. She should have told Daett tonight about their wedding plans, but she hadn’t. She had tried right after supper, but the words had stuck in her mouth. Perhaps it would be best if she brought John over to the house once he could walk, and they could tell Daett together. Maybe John’s parents would even consent to come along, since this was an unusual case. They could all talk together about the future and prevent any further uncertainty between the families.
“The Lord will work it all out,” Laura spoke aloud.
She must not doubt now. Not when John had finally believed and agreed to wed her. Laura picked up a plate and paused as she caught a glimpse of a buggy in the kitchen window. She leaned over the sink for a closer look. The buggy had stopped by the barn, and John’s mamm, Hilda, was climbing out, followed by his daett, Herman. Laura pulled back from the window, and the plate slid from her hand and into the soapy water with a splash. Why were John’s parents here? Had they come to help plan the wedding of their own initiative?
Laura took another peek out of the kitchen window. There was no sign of John of course, and his parents were already on their way up the walk. This was not goot. It could only mean one thing. John’s mamm and daett had come to speak with Daett. She should have forced herself to tell him at supper, but now it was too late. Laura dropped the washcloth and raced into the living room, but Daett was already out the front door and standing on the porch with a perplexed look on his face. She wanted to reach out and pull Daett back into the house, but that wouldn’t work. How foolish she had been not to force the words out of her mouth at supper.
Laura tried to still the rapid beating of her heart. No doubt John’s parents had come to express their disapproval of the wedding plans. Deep down, she knew and had known all day. That was why she hadn’t been able to speak with Daett. But she must pray and believe, no matter what happened next. “Dear Lord, please, oh please, do something,” Laura whispered.
Daett now stepped off the porch to approach Hilda and Herman. She couldn’t hear their voices, but Daett was smiling. Whatever Herman had said, it wasn’t about a forbidden wedding. Laura ducked behind the drapes before she fled into the kitchen. She should be at work when Hilda and Herman walked in. That would ma
ke the best impression. She would appear innocent, even if she wasn’t. John’s parents knew by now that she had persuaded John to plan the wedding. How foolish she had been to leave the Yoders’ house before she had spoken with Hilda about the matter. Instead she had left riding a euphoric cloud of emotion because John had consented to a wedding. She could have refuted any objections Hilda had before they were set in stone. Now she would have to speak with great deference with so many parents present.
Laura finished the last of the dishes and draped the wet cloth over the dryer rack. She could hear the voices clearly rising and falling in the living room.
“We thought we’d come over to speak with you about a matter,” Herman was saying. “But I suppose Laura already told you the basics.”
“No, she hasn’t mentioned anything unusual,” Daett said. “Has Laura done something she shouldn’t have?”
The voices were lowered, and Laura couldn’t hear their response. But Daett’s voice was soon plain enough. “Laura. Come here.”
Hilda smiled when Laura walked in the living room, but there was sadness tinged around the edges of her face.
Daett didn’t beat around the bush. “What’s this I hear about you planning to wed John this fall?”
“Yah,” Laura managed. “I was going to tell you, but…” There really was no excuse, and Daett knew so.
“But with Mamm gone, how did you think we could manage?” Daett exclaimed.
Herman cleared his throat. “I think the objections are a little more serious than that, Yost. We don’t feel our son should wed your daughter at all. Not in his condition. He has already been enough of a burden on the community’s compassion. There’s no way John can take care of a frau in his state, let alone kinner if the Lord should give any to this union—that is, if this miracle of walking should happen. But even without kinner, there are heavy responsibilities associated with a marriage.”
“This is true,” Daett said. He looked straight at Laura. “Surely you know this, daughter?”
“The Lord will help us,” Laura whispered. “We love each other. Why would the Lord give us this love if we are not to marry? Please try to understand, Daett.”
Hilda’s smile was gone. “It cannot be! I don’t want to sound cruel or harsh. We were in favor of John and Laura’s marriage before the accident, but much has changed since then. We simply can no longer give our blessing to this union. Even if John walks again and even learns a trade, that still won’t build a home or buy a farm. John cannot pay the bills and support a frau and kinner as a blind man.”
Daett looked at Laura again. “Yah, this is true. You should know this, Laura.”
“The Lord will help us,” were the only words that would come out of Laura’s mouth.
“We appreciate Laura’s faith,” Herman said. “But we must be practical and use the wisdom the Lord has given us. To walk blindly into an impossible situation would be against His will. We don’t think John should take Laura as his frau, or anyone else for that matter. We think our feelings are validated by what we know of Wendell’s interest in your daughter. That is a sign from the Lord, we feel, that John should give up his engagement to Laura. Wendell is quite certain he can win Laura’s love if John will not interfere. Such things are”—Herman cleared his throat—“well, they are tender subjects, but we think that Laura’s rejection of Wendell’s offer out of hand is not wise. We have spoken with both Deacon William and Bishop Ezra about the matter, and they agree with us.”
“You would have me marry Wendell when I don’t love him?” The words burst out like a storm.
Hilda gave Laura a sharp look. “I think this is a subject for the parents. Young people are not known for their wisdom in these matters.”
Laura kept silent. She had to control herself.
“We have made ourselves plain enough, I think,” Herman said. “Laura is to call off her wedding plans and not come over to our house to see John again. Beyond that it is up to you, Yost, but we think it best if Laura considers Wendell’s offer seriously. The least she can do is date the man for a few months. How else can Laura know if she loves him or not?”
“Because I love John, and I won’t stop loving him.” The words exploded again.
From the look on Hilda’s face, Laura had just sealed her doom. Hilda probably no longer wanted her as a daughter-in-law even if John could see with the vision of a hawk.
“You have a goot evening then.” Hilda forced a smile, rose from her seat, and headed for the front door ahead of her husband.
Daett hurried forward to see them out, but Herman waved him back. “Keep your seat, Yost. We’re old enough to find our way out.”
They all chuckled at Herman’s words, and Laura fled to the kitchen. How could they take this so lightly? John loved her, and she loved him. She should be weeping and wailing right now, filling the house with noise. Instead she collapsed in a kitchen chair and buried her face in her hands as the Yoders’ buggy left the driveway. Moments later Daett appeared in the kitchen doorway and seated himself beside Laura. “I can’t say that I’m surprised. I know you loved John, but Herman and Hilda are right. And you can’t marry the man if his parents object—let alone Bishop Ezra and Deacon William.”
“I do love him!” Laura wailed. “Why can’t you be on my side?”
Daett thought for a moment. “There’s nothing wrong with loving. But sometimes there are considerations other than love.”
“If I can’t wed John, then I will never wed anyone else,” Laura declared. “Never!”
“Now, now,” Daett said with a tender smile. “The Yoders mean well, and I happen to agree that you and John have no business beginning a married life together this winter.”
Laura grasped at straws. “Then next year?”
Daett thought again before he answered. “I think the Yoders are also right that you should accept Wendell’s offer to date you. A girl I knew once froze her heart after she couldn’t have her way in love, and things never…” Daett looked away and fell silent.
“You don’t have to tell me about Nancy,” Laura said. “I already know about your past with her. But I’m not cutting off my relationship with John.”
“You don’t have much choice.” Daett regarded her. “You are not welcome at the Yoders’ any longer.”
“And you think that’s right?”
“What I think is that you need to learn obedience, Laura,” Daett said. “This attitude of yours in unbecoming for a daughter of the community. Maybe if you hadn’t been so headstrong at the barn-raising the accident would never have happened.”
Laura looked away as tears formed. “You really feel that way?” She had almost forgotten that she had blamed herself for John’s accident. And now Daett had brought it up.
“I don’t really know,” Daett said. “John was distracted. There is no question about that. Why else would the man fall? John has always been an expert on the barn beams.”
Laura leaped to her feet, but Daett grabbed hold of her arm. “Sit, daughter. Running away isn’t going to help.”
Laura sat slowly and lowered her head in her arms again. Daett tugged on her shoulder. “I know this is difficult to see, but the Yoders are right.”
Laura raised her head to face Daett. “Why would you want me to leave the man I love, just because he is in trouble? Doesn’t the community believe in standing by each other through thick or thin, for better or worse, and now you want me to abandon John?”
A smile played on Daett’s face. “Is this the sermon you gave John? No wonder he was persuaded to marry you.”
Laura looked away. After a moment of silence, she bounced to her feet and said, “I’m going over to see Wendell right now!”
“To accept his marriage offer?” Daett asked. “That’s a little forward, even for you.”
“No. I’m going to tell him to get lost,” Laura snapped. “Maybe that will put some sense in everyone.”
“You will do no such thing,” Daett said. “You’re staying
right here. And when Wendell next asks you for a date, you are accepting.”
Laura gasped. “But I can’t. I’ll never love Wendell. Never!”
“Yah, you can. I think Wendell is quite a catch. He comes from a goot family, and they have their farms paid off. There isn’t a reason in the world why you can’t date the man.”
Laura stared at the floor. How was she to obey this order? She couldn’t, but she must if she wanted to remain in goot standing with the community. Trouble with Deacon William or Bishop Ezra was the last thing she needed. But dating Wendell? How could she?
“You can,” Daett said, as if he could read Laura’s thoughts. “You don’t have to think about marrying him yet. Being around another man and getting your mind off of John may be exactly what is needed. Now go to bed and get some sleep. We have to get up early tomorrow morning for our Saturday work and preparations for the Lord’s day.”
Laura stood and left without a backward glance. Nelson stuck his head out of his room when she reached the top of the stairs. “What’s going on?” he asked. “Awful lot of fuss down there.”
“Trouble!” Laura said, rushing past. She didn’t want to insult Nelson, but if she tried to explain, the tears would gush. That she didn’t need.
Nelson shrugged and reentered his bedroom before Laura closed the door behind her. She flopped down on her bed and let the tears come. Long moments later, she stood and walked to the window to look up at the stars. They twinkled in the heavens in all their fall glory.
“Somehow we will make it,” Laura said out loud. “Even if I have to see that horrible Wendell once or twice. Maybe that’s the only way to demonstrate to the man that I feel no love for him. Surely he won’t wish for a frau who doesn’t have feelings for him.”
Laura took another look up at the stars before she slipped under the quilt and fell fast asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Amid the chill of the evening, Nancy stepped out on her front porch to listen to the distant sound of a horse’s hooves on the pavement. Was someone on their way to visit her? If so, who? Deacon William’s daughter, Betsy, was in the kitchen. Betsy was staying with Nancy all the time now, even at the schoolhouse. There was no moment when she was alone, so Deacon William would have no cause for a trip to her house. But maybe he wanted to check on how things were progressing. The deacon wasn’t one to take his information secondhand, even if his daughter was the source.
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