by Lexi Blake
She went silent. The only sound in the truck was the smooth running of wheels on concrete and the muted sound of traffic beyond the closed up windows. And it struck Alex that this might be the last time they were alone together.
“What did you really want to talk to me about tonight?” Alex asked. The office was straight ahead. He only had another few minutes with her, and he thought seriously about just taking off. Just driving away, away from the office and the case and Evans and both of their lonely apartments.
But he couldn’t drive away from their problems. They were always with them, an anchor dragging them down.
“I wanted to discuss the dissolution of our contract. It’s cruel for me to keep using you like I have been.” She was stiff in her seat, her eyes on the office, her hands folded together.
“That wasn’t what Liam made it sound like.” Liam had sounded hopeful.
“Would it change your mind if I said I wanted to try again?”
She was trying to keep him out of harm’s way. That was all. “No. If you want to try again, you’ll wait for me.”
“And if you want to try again, you’ll let this lie.”
They were at an impasse, but that had been the way they’d lived for years now. Neither one of them had been able to give up or give in. They had wasted years. “Eve, I don’t want to lose you.”
She sighed. “Then don’t.”
The car behind him honked, and he had no choice except to turn into the parking garage. The first car he saw was Eve’s immaculate white Mercedes. He stopped in front of it and prayed for just a little more time.
She was out of the truck the minute it stopped rolling. She looked up at him, her brown eyes weary. “You’re going to go, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” He had to.
She nodded. “You’re not doing this for me, you know.”
“Of course I am. I’m doing it for us.” So they could feel safe again.
“Of course you are,” she murmured. “Because you always make the right decisions, don’t you, Alex? You always know best.”
Except the time that he’d ignored her warning and ruined their lives. “Can’t you see I’m trying to make this right?”
She slammed the door, but not before Alex heard Adam yelling.
“Eve!”
She turned and walked toward Adam, a smile on her face. For years she hadn’t smiled at her own husband. Hadn’t let him kiss her or hug her. She had kept him at arm’s length because he’d screwed up, and now she was trying to keep him from correcting the mistake.
Adam opened his arms, and Eve walked in for a hug.
She gave so much to the other men in her life but nothing for the man who had loved her, who had waited for her.
But he would do one last thing for her. He would take Michael Evans down and then she would be safe.
Then the game would be over, but Alex already knew he’d lost.
* * * *
Eve glanced up at the clock. How many hours had gone by since she’d told Alex they were through? Eighteen? Nineteen? It seemed like forever and yet she could still see the look on his face.
She leaned back in her chair. The conference room was full, and she was the only woman there. Grace was working half days for the time being, and Eve felt her loss.
Ian walked in, dropped the folder he was carrying, and slung his massive body into the chair at the head of the table. “Who’s presenting today?”
“Just me,” Alex said.
“Fine. Give me updates before Alex goes.” Ian glanced around the table. Alex had been right. If she hadn’t known to look for the slight reddish tint to his eyes, she wouldn’t be able to tell anything had been wrong with Ian.
Jake passed him another file, this one thick with paper. “We cleared up the McConnell Systems case. Adam nabbed one of the vice presidents for selling the latest software upgrades to a rival. So the good news is, we’re free for a few weeks. We’re evaluating security for a firm in Houston, but that job doesn’t start right away.”
“Weston?” Ian asked, never looking up.
Simon looked absolutely perfect in his Brooks Brothers suit. “I’ve got two cases running, and I’m working security for Lyle Benson’s trip through Dallas. I’m just coordinating, of course. He has his own small army of bodyguards, but I’m checking his routes and the places he’s planning on staying.”
Ian frowned. “Yeah, well, keep the billionaire happy. He keeps us on retainer, and we train that small army of his. So, let’s get on to the non-moneymaking portion of my day.”
“I told you, I’ll handle every bit of this.” Alex stood, his eyes not quite meeting hers as they moved past her and focused on Ian. “I just need a short leave of absence. As I’ve never actually used a vacation day in the last five years, I think I’m due.”
“Oh, and if I thought for a second you would go and hang out on a sunny beach, I would happily send your ass on its way,” Ian grumbled. “But you’re not going to do that, so I’m left with helping out. What’s the setup?”
She’d done nothing all night long but worry about the setup. What exactly had Alex found out and what was he planning on doing about it? And why the hell should she care? He was picking his own revenge over her again.
When would she learn that she would always come second? That what had happened to her mattered more than who she was?
She just prayed this was a distance job. Maybe he would just watch the club from a distance and wait to tag Evans. She could handle it if he was out of harm’s way.
“I’m going to work for a club that we suspect is a front for Evans’s business. It’s all in the packets.” Alex looked tired, like he’d stayed up all night working. She suspected that if she looked in his office, she would find his clothes from yesterday. He always kept a spare set in his desk in case he pulled an all-nighter.
She slowly sipped her coffee, careful not to give away the fact that her heart pounded at the thought of him going undercover.
“How are you gaining access to the club?” Ian asked, opening the folder. “Did you follow up on the reporter?”
Simon nodded. “I pulled up everything I could on her last night. She graduated from Columbia with a Master’s in Journalism. She worked at two small papers and then started doing some freelance work. She hit a couple of big stories, and now she works freelance full time. Comes from money as far as I can tell. She’s the only daughter of a couple of wealthy socialites. When they died a few years back, they left her everything. I tried to find a good picture of her, but all I could get is this grainy shot of her in Pakistan when she was reporting on the Kashmir district.”
“Odd. You couldn’t even find a Facebook picture?” Adam asked.
“Nope. She’s very private. No social media. Her driver’s license is in there, but she’s due to renew next year.”
Alex shrugged. “Looks enough like her. Anyway, Kristen has been working there for a couple of months, and she thinks Evans is going to show up soon.”
“What proof does she have of that?” Eve asked.
“She’s heard word that he comes in every six months to check on operations and keep his flunkies in line. He’s due in anytime. I’m hiring on as the Dom in Residence.”
She felt her skin flush. Evans was a bastard. Maybe Alex was right that Evans hadn’t forgotten about them. There was only one reason to use BDSM as a theme and that was to send Alex a giant middle finger. “He’s set his new network up as BDSM clubs?”
“They’re fetish themed nightclubs,” Alex replied tightly.
Well, Michael Evans always had a sick sense of humor. “Why can’t Ryan go in? He runs Sanctum.”
“Ryan isn’t trained. If I need someone to pose as a CEO, I’ll send Ryan in,” Alex shot back.
“Whereas it’s so much better to send in someone who’s emotionally involved and who could be recognized at any moment. Yes, that’s a much better idea,” Ian said with lazy menace. “Would you like to explain why I’m not going in?”
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Alex got his stubborn face on. His brows furrowed and those massive linebacker shoulders of his squared off. He was acting like a five-year-old with a toy he didn’t want to share, so why did she find him so damn attractive? “The source is only willing to work with me.”
Ian shrugged. “Then make her willing to work with me.”
Alex leaned over the table, his hands flat on the top. “You don’t know how hard it’s been to get her to let anyone but me in. I’ve been talking to this woman online for six weeks. I’ve finally gotten her to agree to meet, and last night I managed to negotiate to bring a couple of people in. I thought she was going to walk. She will if we change out leads. I’m going in, Ian. And you know damn well why, and you would do the same thing in my position.”
Ian groaned and let his head fall back. “Fine. I very likely would, but then you would be in my shoes pointing out how fucking stupid all of this is. We don’t know anything about this woman. She could be working for Evans for all you know.”
He’d thought through that scenario, too. “Then I’ll get to see him sooner than I thought. But I don’t think she’s working for him. Her credentials check out and this would be just the type of story she usually does. I talked to two of the editors she’s worked with and they said she’s one of the best in the business, but she disappears for long stretches because she goes undercover. I know I’m taking a chance, but it’s my chance to take.”
Ian ran a frustrated hand through his hair and seemed to concede. “So, how many other people can we get in there? If you think you’re going in alone, you’re insane.”
Alex’s eyes found his file again. “Like I said, I negotiated with her, but she’s stubborn. I can bring three people with me. I need Adam on call.”
Adam nodded. “Sure. Do I need to go to Florida? Make it quick. Serena can still fly for about six weeks. After that I’m stuck here because I’m not leaving her behind while she’s pregnant.”
“Yes, because god knows I can’t take care of her,” Jake said with a long-suffering sigh.
“Well, you forget her marshmallows. She’s carrying our baby and you expect her to drink hot cocoa without marshmallows.”
“Dear god, you would think she’s the queen of fucking England,” Ian said with one of his patented eye rolls.
“Not at all,” Simon replied drolly. “Her Majesty would never touch anything so lowbrow as cocoa. Now, my cousin on the other hand will, and William definitely prefers marshmallows. Harry pretends his Irish cream is cocoa, and even then he’ll spike it with whiskey. Funny fellow, Harry.”
Simon was connected.
Liam made a vomiting sound. “Get back to Buckingham, you prat. And that’s complete shite. You’re like third cousins and your brother’s the heir.”
Simon leaned forward, obviously willing to prolong the argument, but Eve had other things on her mind. “Evans knows what you look like, Alex.”
All eyes shot to Alex. At least she wasn’t the only one with concerns.
“I’m bigger than I was back then. I’ve put on thirty pounds of muscle. I’m going to wear colored contacts, and I’m taking my hair down to a buzz cut. It’s a fuckload grayer than it was back then, and I used to keep it much longer and perfectly styled.”
Because appearance meant something in the Bureau. Alex had been climbing the ladder, and Eve had encouraged him. She’d loved the way he looked in a terrifically fitted suit. And he was right. None of those suits would fit him now. He was far too muscular. “I think it’s a risk.”
“One I’m willing to take, but you know as well as I do that attitude and perception are more important than actual looks. I don’t carry myself the way I used to. On a cursory glance, Evans likely won’t notice me, and the people running his club won’t know me at all. Even with the press coverage, the Bureau made damn sure pictures of the unit didn’t get out. I’ll be fine.”
She wasn’t so sure, but it was obvious he couldn’t be talked out of it. And another problem crept into her brain like a weed she needed to pull. “Dom in Residence? So you’ll be running scenes and handling subs?”
She’d placed careful emphasis on the word “handling.”
“Are you asking if I’m going to have to fuck the subs?” Alex asked.
The rest of the men were watching them like they were a really well-played tennis match, their heads swinging back and forth between them.
“Is it too early for popcorn?” Adam whispered to Jake.
“Shh,” Jake hissed back.
Well, she’d started it. And they were a weird little family. If she wasn’t the one on display, she would have been sitting right next to Adam watching the scene play out. She was kind of used to doing her therapy in public and half naked. It was the way of their little world. “Yes, I’m curious about whether or not you’re going to screw half of Florida.”
Oh, she’d scored a hit with that one. A muscle in Alex’s jaw twitched up, a sure sign he was pissed. And his eyes narrowed and she just knew whatever was about to come out of his mouth would hurt like hell. “No, Eve. Just one. I’m going to be running very specific scenes with one sub. I’m taking a sub from Sanctum in with me. She’s a police officer so she understands undercover. I talked to her last night and she’s agreed to use her vacation time to come with me. I’ll only have to fuck her.”
Wow. Getting kicked in the gut would be way worse.
He frowned. “Eve, I shouldn’t have told you like that.”
She shook her head. “No. I was vicious and you responded. I understand.”
Getting Michael Evans was more important than anything. It always had been, and he wouldn’t share it with her. She stood up. She wasn’t needed here. Not at all. “I’ll let you finish up without me since I’m not involved in this op. I’ve got psych profiles to work up anyway. If you’ll excuse me.”
She got up, taking her coffee with her. Low-fat latte, no cream. That was her life now. Yep. She’d chosen this. If she was going to work up a profile on herself, she could write page after page. PTSD. Control issues. Just on the right side of OCD.
The subject is mired in the tragic events of her past. The subject is unwilling to even think about moving past her own pain and is content to remain passionless because she is afraid her passion was what cost her in the first place. She fears another loss of self though she can’t stand the person she’s become.
Subject will now die and be found in her spotless apartment weeks after her lonely demise without so much as a cat to witness the event because they shed on her pristine rugs.
In this therapist’s opinion, subject needs to get her shit together.
Yeah, she probably shouldn’t evaluate herself. She got damn snarky when she did that.
“Eve.”
She’d almost made it to her office. She didn’t turn around because she was pretty sure those pesky tears were starting up again. “It’s fine, Alex.”
She tried to step into her office, but he followed her, slamming the door shut behind him.
“You don’t really have a right to complain about where I sleep.”
She turned, no longer caring what he saw. “You’re on the wrong side of that door.”
“I don’t want to leave like this,” he said. His fists were clenched at his sides.
“Then don’t go. Let Ian handle it. He can play this role.”
“I can’t do that.”
There was another solution to the problem. “Then take me as the sub. If it’s going to be so easy to fool them, then I can put on a dark wig, and we both know how much weight I’ve lost and that I certainly carry myself differently.”
His face went stony. “I will not take you.”
She could be stubborn, too. Anger lit inside her. “Then you’ve made this decision and you should leave my office. You should also know that I won’t be here when you get back. I’ll find another job. Hell, I’ll find another city, and then neither one of us has to go through this again.”
His hands came out, r
eaching for her arms and dragging her close. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“And I don’t want you to go.” She needed to push him away. Right now. Just shove out at him and get him out of this office before you do something stupid. Insanely stupid. And stop looking at his lips.
Her eyes weren’t listening. God, he had the most gorgeous lips. They were full and sensual, and when he smiled, he could light up a room. Alex loomed over her, every inch of his six and a half feet a testament to pure male beauty, from his golden brown hair to those deep green eyes, to a body she wanted to touch but couldn’t allow herself to.
He pulled her closer. “I don’t want any other woman. You’re the only one who does this to me.”
He rubbed his cock along her belly, and she nearly groaned. He was so hard. Long and thick, his cock was as perfect as the rest of him. She couldn’t help it. She moved against him. No matter what came between them, she could never hide her response. She could control the interaction, but she craved him. Every minute of every day, she wanted Alexander McKay inside her.
Even though they were standing in her office and the rest of the team was just a couple of doors away, her whole body had softened, preparing to welcome him inside.
“Let me kiss you.” He dipped his head toward hers.
She turned away. This was one of the things she’d wanted to change about their contract, but she couldn’t do it now. Every reason she’d had the contract written in the first place was back in play. He was bent on pursuing revenge and leaving her behind.
“Damn it.” His hands shifted, one arm moving under her legs. He lifted her up easily, his face harsh as he looked down at her. “Then I’ll take what you’ll give me. You’ll allow me to kiss you somewhere else, won’t you, Eve?”
He laid her out on her desk. He didn’t have to move anything because she kept her desk as pristine and free of clutter as she kept her life. Everything had its place and she kept it there with a brutal proficiency.
Her back was settled against the desk and she knew she should protest, but he was already moving, shoving her skirt up and pulling at the thong she wore.
