by Lexi Blake
“Eve? Do you want a glass of wine?”
Grace’s words pulled Eve out of her misery. She plastered a smile on her face and looked up. “Sure. That sounds nice.”
Why the hell had she decided to come here tonight? She should have sent a gift with Avery and locked herself in her apartment for a few days. She wasn’t exactly in the mood for a dinner party, but she’d promised Grace. It had only been a few hours since she and Alex had parted. She could still feel him inside her. There was a pleasant ache in her bones because he’d been so rough. It had been years since he’d manhandled her the way he had today, like she wasn’t made of glass, like she was a woman.
Grace sank down next to her, handing her a glass of ruby-red wine. She had the same in her hand. A little smile crossed her face and she sighed as she sipped. “God, it’s been so long since I had a glass of wine.”
Eve took a sip of the wine. It was rich with cherry overtones. “I’m not sure I could go too long without a glass.”
Serena laughed as she sat down opposite Eve. She was wearing jeans and a flouncy top that successfully hid what Eve knew was a little baby bump. Both Serena and Avery were pregnant. Grace’s daughter was only six weeks old. Everyone was having babies, moving on.
She looked out at the patio where Ian was sitting in front of the pool, talking to Simon. Everyone was making a life for themselves except her and Alex and Ian.
“She’s going to pump and dump,” Serena said with a nod. “I’m totally doing that after baby boy is born. I never realized how much of my creativity is dependent on vodka.”
Grace took a drink, her eyes closing in apparent pleasure. “Carys has plenty to eat. I froze some breast milk for just such an occasion.” Grace turned Eve’s way. “So, I heard you and Alex got busy today.”
Serena rolled her eyes, her hand fiddling with the iced tea at her side. “I thought we decided you were going to be subtle.”
Grace shrugged. “I’m not good at subtle. Ask Sean. I very subtly told him how mad I was that he was getting back in the business by screaming at him and throwing a fit. After a nice long spanking, he convinced me he was right.”
“Getting back in the business?” Eve asked. Sean was out of security. He’d finished culinary school and was working with local chefs to perfect his menu for a restaurant he was going to open next year.
Grace frowned, but there was sympathy in her gaze. “He’s going to Florida with Alex.”
She practically sighed in relief. She could trust Sean to watch his back. Then she realized why Grace would be upset. Sean had a baby to worry about. “I’ll talk to Alex. He can’t take Sean with him.”
Despite how much better she would feel, she couldn’t allow him to drag Sean and Grace into their trouble. It was bad enough that Adam was going.
Grace shook her head. “Absolutely not. Do not talk to Alex. Besides the fact that my backside is really sore because a disciplinary spanking isn’t as much fun as the erotic ones, I understand why Sean needs to go. I got scared for a minute, but I married a military man. Oh, he might be a chef now, but he’ll never not be a soldier and he’s never going to let a man he loves like a brother go into battle alone if he can help it.”
“I’m sure he can find someone else.”
“No. Sean needs to do this. Carys and I will just have to settle in and wait for him. I’ve always known that he would drift in and out of the dangerous stuff. It’s a part of who he is.” Grace certainly seemed at ease with the decision now. “Besides, he really wants to learn how to cook Cuban, so he’s going to do some research while he’s there. Now, what was this about office sex?”
This was why she didn’t come to dinner parties. This was why she didn’t hang out with other subs. Because other subs were nosy. “It was a mistake.”
Serena and Grace exchanged a long look as though they were having a silent conversation about how to proceed. If she didn’t shut this down, they would end up talking to her about her non-existent relationship.
She definitely didn’t want that. “I really don’t want to talk about it. I hope you can respect my privacy.”
“We have privacy? Why do we need privacy?” Avery sat down next to Serena, a glass of tea in her hand. She looked at all of them, her mouth open a little. “Oh, y’all started the Alex talk, didn’t you? I told you it was a bad idea.”
Eve felt her face flush. It was time to go. She set her wine glass down and stood up. “I think I’ll just skip the dinner, Grace. I’m feeling a bit tired.”
A frown passed over Grace’s face. “And I’m going to ask you to stay.”
That was a deeply aggressive move for someone like Grace. “Like I said, I’ve had a long day and I’m tired.”
“He’s taking Amanda with him.”
That stopped her in her tracks. She sat back down, trying to process the new information. Alex and Amanda?
Avery leaned over, whispering Grace’s way. “You didn’t have to tell her like that.”
“Yes, I did,” Grace said. “Eve doesn’t respond to subtle. She would walk out of here in a heartbeat if I let her because she’s more than willing to listen to every single one of us and help us with our problems, but she won’t have the decency of returning the favor.”
A shitty day had just turned worse. “I’m a therapist. I’m supposed to listen and help. If I’m not doing a good enough job for you, I can certainly refer you to someone else.”
Grace stood up, facing her down. “And I’m family. I’m your sister and that’s not going to ever change. And I can’t refer myself or find someone else.”
Serena stood up beside Grace. “What she said.”
Adam walked up carrying a tray of appetizers, a big smile plastered on his face. He stopped as every single female looked at him. Without a word, he backed away.
“Well at least the men won’t come in now.” Avery shook her head as the kitchen door swung behind him.
Eve had to ignore everything except what Grace had said. “What are you trying to tell me?”
“I’m going to ask you this and if you want to tell me to keep my nose out of your business, then I will, but we’re family now and I happen to care a great deal about you. You’re more than willing to help me out any time I’m in trouble. Can’t you understand that I want to do the same for you?”
“Me, too,” Serena said, reaching for her hand. She stopped as though realizing she was about to do something rude.
God, when had she made the conscious decision to shove everyone away? Maybe that decision hadn’t been conscious. Maybe it had been born from her pain and misery, but she’d done it all the same. She was surrounded by these amazing women and they were right. They were family. She grabbed Serena’s hand. “I’m worried about Alex.”
Grace sank back into her sofa, a long sigh coming from her chest. “Thank god. I hate doing the tough-chick thing.”
Avery smiled. “I advised that we should just get you drunk and have a sleepover. I always talked too much at sleepovers.”
Serena snorted a little. “Yeah, that would totally work. Avery and I would be snoring by nine and Grace would be up all night with Carys. Nope. This is better. So talk and tell us how we can help because I hate Amanda.”
“Is she the one who’s always so sweet around the Doms and then tells all the subs in the locker room that they’re fat?” Avery asked. “Yeah, I hate her, too. I told her I wasn’t fat, I was pregnant and she said ‘same difference. If it moos like a cow…’”
Grace gasped. “She called you a cow?”
Avery nodded. “Apparently she was very interested in Li before we got married. He admitted to sleeping with her a couple of times, but then he slept with most of them. Why did I get the manwhore?”
“Reformed manwhore,” Eve said, getting a little angry at the thought of Amanda trying to undermine everyone around her. “Now she’s after Alex.”
“Well, I think Ian would be her first choice, but he sees right through that kind of crap,” Grace said.
>
“Alex is softer than Ian. He wants to believe the best of people, so when Amanda pulls her doe-eyed routine, he buys it. Come on. It’s an age-old tale. Men are dumb. Like eighteen seasons of The Bachelor haven’t proven that,” Serena said. “They always pick the nasty one and then they’re all like, ‘What? I didn’t see that coming.’ Dumb ass.”
Amanda was awful. She got that. It didn’t explain everything. “Why would he take her? He needs backup. He pretends like this isn’t dangerous, but this guy he’s going after…”
“Is one of the worst terrorists in the world and has hurt all of us very deeply,” Grace finished.
Eve shook her head. “I don’t understand. You know Evans?”
“I know that he hurt you and that means he hurt every one of us, and we all have to pitch in.”
A deep well of emotion surged. There were things she knew intellectually, but hadn’t put into practice, holding the truths close to her heart. One of those truths was the fact that she didn’t have to be alone. She didn’t have to hide or cover up. If she were on the outside looking in on her own case, she would tell herself that talking about it, opening up and sharing the burden where she could was the only way to heal. “Can I be honest?”
“Of course,” all three said at the same time.
Eve couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t want him to go.”
“I wouldn’t either,” Serena said. “It’s scary to send them off.”
Eve shook her head. “It’s not totally about the danger. Alex is making the same mistakes all over again. He’s opening wounds that might finally be healing.”
“I don’t think they’re healing for him, sweetie.” Grace looked out to the patio where the men had gathered. “They’re tough men. They like to pretend they don’t feel things, but it’s an act.”
“I think I understand,” Serena said. “You want him to focus on you, on your relationship.”
Finally someone got it. “Serena, after it happened…” God, be brave, Eve. Just fucking say it. “After I was raped…”
“After you were tortured,” Grace prompted. It was obvious to Eve that Grace was taking the big-sister role, and she wasn’t about to let Eve sugarcoat a damn thing. She should be annoyed, but she only felt a deep sense of gratitude.
“After I was tortured, Alex shut down. He said all the right things, but he wasn’t there for me. I’m not saying he didn’t sit with me and hold my hand.”
“He pulled away,” Avery concluded. “Yes, I do understand that, but not the way you would think. I understand where Alex is coming from.”
Eve sighed. “Of course, I know that it’s a typical reaction for the loved ones of a victim to pull away due to an overwhelming sense of guilt and a fear that the world won’t be the same again. I’ve seen it in a lot of people.”
Avery wouldn’t let up. “But you haven’t felt it, Eve. I know you’re smart and you’re so educated and experienced when it comes to people’s motivations, but you can’t know what it feels like to be the one who didn’t die.”
But Avery did. “I didn’t die, Avery. It wasn’t as bad as that.”
“No, she’s right,” Serena argued. “A rape is something traumatic. The only thing I can think of that’s worse than it happening to me is knowing that it’s happening to someone I love and not being able to stop it.”
“He was helpless, Eve.” Avery’s eyes closed and opened again as though she was briefly reliving what she’d had to go through. “I was helpless. I was trapped in that car and I listened to my daughter die. I watched my husband bleed to death. Alex didn’t have to watch, but I can imagine that it was horrible for him. He had to sit there knowing that you were hurting. Can you imagine the scenarios that played through his head? Have you told him what happened? Have you really talked about it?”
“I didn’t want to burden him.” She’d talked to her therapist but only in general terms. She’d told the police, but that was a clinical thing, divorced utterly from the emotions she’d felt. “It should have brought us together. I thought we were strong enough that it would bring us together, but he drifted away from me.”
“And you’re so angry about that,” Grace said. “I would be. I would feel abandoned.”
“He didn’t want me anymore. I wonder if he thinks I’m dirty, Grace.” She’d never said it out loud. “He wouldn’t touch me for the longest time and then it was different. I hated how different it was, like I wasn’t the woman he’d married anymore but he was too honorable to leave. So I divorced him, but we fell into this stupid contract and we haven’t been able to move on. Just when I thought I could, Michael Evans pops back up.”
“He was always going to come back.” Serena sat back, her face thoughtful. “That’s what Jake and Adam said.”
“I don’t think so. I know Alex has it in his head that Michael Evans is out there plotting against him, but I disagree. Evans was satisfied with the revenge he had against Alex.”
“But Alex isn’t satisfied that the threat is gone.” Grace took a sip of her wine. “He can’t be until Evans is in jail or dead. Eve, you think this is about revenge, but I think you’re wrong. You’re too close to the situation. You both made mistakes, but the first one is not talking about this. I know it’s hard, but you’ve both tried to find ways around the situation. You didn’t divorce Alex because you’re not in love with him.”
Eve let her eyes close, unwilling to look at them while she admitted her sins. “No. I did it because I needed him to notice me again.” A hand slipped over hers. She looked down. Grace. The words seemed to come more easily now. “I wanted him to fight me, but he didn’t. He told me if that was what I needed, then he understood.”
“Dumbass,” Serena said under her breath.
They’d both been stupid. “But I don’t know that I’m willing to jump back into this with him. I think we might have made too many mistakes. It might be best to just let each other go and start over again.”
“You can’t until you sort some things out,” Avery argued. “And I don’t know how you do that from here when he’s in Florida.”
“I’ve tried to make him stay.” It was the first time she’d asked for anything in years, but she had to acknowledge that it might be too late.
“Oh.” A little gasp came out of Serena’s mouth. “Oh. Now I don’t hate that idea at all.”
Grace leaned forward. “She just got a plot idea. When she says she doesn’t hate something, it’s usually really good.”
Serena got very animated as she talked about her writing, her hands fluttering as she spoke. “Look, sometimes when you’re writing, a good plot is right in front of you, but it’s in these weird little pieces. So, Alex needs backup, but he’s afraid to take Eve. We all hate Amanda, and let’s face facts, I don’t care that she’s a cop, she’s a ho-bag and she’ll throw him under a bus if some hottie comes walking by. Our men are involved in this potentially dangerous operation and wouldn’t we feel safer if there was a sister on the inside? There’s one solution to this problem. You have to kill Amanda and take her place.”
“I’m not killing Amanda.” But the rest of the idea had a tantalizing efficiency to it. She should be the one watching over Alex. He’d said no when she’d run the idea by him initially, but did that mean she had to obey him? He wasn’t thinking. She was the only one who could really do this. She had the training to handle it. She knew Michael Evans better than anyone did. She’d practically written the book on the bastard.
Serena leaned forward, a beseeching look on her face. “Oh, I wish you would. I caught her trying to get Jake to help her with suspension play. She shook her thong right in his face and then I overheard her talking about how sad it was that he was saddled with someone like me. Of course, I then wrote her into my next book and brutally murdered her there, but this would be like research for me. We would all help you bury the body.”
Eve felt a smile slide across her face as she looked at the women around her. They would. They would be right there w
ith shovels and flashlights and alibis, and a nice bottle of wine for afterward because they were a sisterhood. They might not share blood, but they shared a life.
“No bloody death, Serena, but she’s definitely not going to Florida. I already asked Alex if I could come and he said no, but he’s wrong about this. I need to make sure I’m the one he introduces as his sub. Did Adam do her cover?”
“Oh, yes. He booked the tickets and everything, but none of this works unless we spring it on Alex when he can’t back out,” Serena mused. “We need Sean in on it, too. He knows where the meet site is.”
Grace gave the room a peaceful smile. “I think Sean is going to have to leave a little later than planned because Carys has some sort of emergency. Just a couple of hours. Long enough that he has to meet Alex at the club and take Alex’s sub with him. Yes, I think that can be arranged. Sean can’t stand Amanda, and he’s got the very same fears the rest of us have. She won’t watch his back. She’ll be too busy trying to get into his pants. He’ll hop on board.”
“I need to change my hair color.” Her heart thumped in her chest, adrenaline starting to flow. Was she really going to do this? Alex was going to be pissed, but she couldn’t let him go without proper backup. And in a club, she might be more effective than he was about gathering information. Women gossiped. A lot. He had to have a sub the other women would trust or it wouldn’t work.
“Makeover! Oh, this is going to be fun.” Avery clapped her hands. “I think you would look gorgeous with a nice walnut shade. It would totally contrast with your skin.”
“Is it safe to come in yet?” Adam poked his head out of the kitchen. “Because the hors d’oeuvres are getting cold. Sean is going to be pissed if I serve them cold, but you ladies looked like you were talking about men, and not in a happy, fun way. I refuse to be the dude who gets his balls kicked in because he was stupid enough to walk in at the wrong time.”
Poor Adam. Stuck with the ladies. “Yes, I think your balls are safe. And besides, I need a favor from you. We’ve been plotting, you see.”
Adam was in the living room in a flash, a wicked grin on his face. “Oh, I love a good plot. Count me in.”
