“This is comfortable,” Toby said, leaning against the glass-topped outdoor table.
“Sure it is.” I laughed. This back and forth wasn’t getting us anywhere.
I turned to face him and pressed my lips together, ready to begin just as, “Tell him no,” was yelled from inside.
“Abbot sounds pissed,” I stated, chickening out again.
Toby looked past me and squinted from the glare bouncing off the pool surface. “Yeah, well, they’re all going to be pissed.”
“Why?”
His eyes met mine. “They have to do a job they thought they wouldn’t have to.”
“Hitting a drug transport?”
“I can’t say exactly.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m with Abbot. I think it’s crazy.”
“We don’t really have a choice in this one. We owe a favour.”
“To the bikers?”
“You seem to have a lot of information.” He folded his arms across his chest.
“I have these nifty things called ears and a brain that puts things together. I heard you saying you needed me for the job. You people aren’t nearly as discreet as you think you are.”
“I suppose we’re used to talking freely within these walls.”
“I don’t suppose I have much of a choice in whether I do this job or not.”
“With Trev gone, you’re our smithy now. It has to be someone we know and trust.” It was a compliment and an order rolled into one. I understood how this all worked, that Jasmine was in charge and what she said went. But it didn’t mean I had to like it. Or accept it. I wasn’t a kid anymore.
“You know I don’t want this life, Toby. Pop never wanted me following in his footsteps either.”
“You were born into this life like the rest of us, Sloane. We don’t always get what we want. You should know that by now.” I did know that. All too well.
“Is that why you’re still here? Because you don’t feel like you have a choice?”
A sad smile curved his mouth as he looked at the tip of his shoe. “Family commitments trump personal dreams or ambitions. Pop understood that. He knew this was inevitable.”
“He’d be rolling in his grave if he knew I was here.”
He met my eyes. “He trained you, didn’t he?”
“Yes, But—”
“But, nothing. He kept you away from this life as long as he could. I give him a lot of credit for that. But you need to face reality: inheriting his business means inheriting us too. We’re all family, bound by the secrets we keep. You understand that, right?”
We’re all family.
I’m outside the family.
Which one was it?
These people seemed to speak in riddles, pulling you close with one hand and pushing you away with the other.
“Of course I understand that. And I won’t tell anyone else about this drug job if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Breaker doesn’t want any of it to get out before the wedding. He’s like a father to Ronnie, he wants her to have the fairy-tale day with as little stress as possible. No business talk.”
“He’s the boss now?”
“He’s whatever Jazz wants him to be.”
“Of course. And it’s cool. I can keep a secret.”
“Can I be sure of that?” he asked, his handsome expression assessing me. “Abbot wouldn’t be in there losing his shit if you hadn’t relayed what you overheard.”
“Are you seriously questioning me? Do you even remember the summer I was fourteen?” Rogue sat at my feet with the stick in his mouth, looking up at me hopefully. I took the stick and threw it as far as I possibly could, hearing it brush against the leaves in the treeline. “You would have been sixteen. It was the year before Nate got caught.”
“It was a long time ago.” I didn’t know if he was being intentionally vague or had just glossed over the memory.
“Well, you and I—being the eldest of the bunch—decided that it would be cool to get into Jasmine’s vodka stash.”
He nodded. “I remember.”
“Then you remember feeling drunk and brave and showing me Jasmine’s other stash.”
He closed his eyes, the memory obviously reminding him of our stupidity at the time.
I continued. “We rode dirt bikes into the bush and set up empty cans like they do in the movies. Then we took out the two handguns we stole from her stash and proceeded to try and shoot them down—not as easy as it looked in the movies. The kick on those things was bigger than we expected. And the bullets, well, those were real.” I lifted the leg of my army-green overalls to reveal a long scar on the side of my left calf. “To this day, I’ve never told a soul that you accidentally shot me. I’ve always said I got it falling on a rock.” Rogue returned, and I knelt down this time, scratching the old dog behind the ears, taking the stick from his mouth before turning to Toby. “I have a lot of memories that I haven’t shared, Toby.” I handed him the stick.
Holding it in both his hands, he turned the stick around. “I appreciate that.”
“However,” I started, folding my arms across my middle as I forced myself calm. It had been hard enough discussing this with Abbot, let alone Toby. “In the essence of full disclosure, I did tell Abbot what happened before I left.”
His jaw went tight before he lifted his arm and threw the stick for his dog. “I was kind of hoping you’d forgotten about that.”
“How could I? It was my most humiliating moment.”
“I thought what you did was incredibly brave. Albeit misplaced.” He met my eyes, his gaze soft and kind. I really hope that’s not pity.
“I know.” I touched my forehead as my stomach twisted from embarrassment. “I know. And I guess what I’m trying to do here is say what I should have twenty-one years ago. I’m sorry, Toby. I was messed up that year and I don’t know what I was thinking. We were friends, and I messed up.”
“It’s OK, Sloane, really. There’s nothing to be sorry for. I understood at the time. It was just a line I wouldn’t cross, and I hope that you understand that.”
“I do. Really. And I respect that. And I promise there’s not going to be a repeat performance. You’re safe around me.”
“Because you’re gay?”
I opened my mouth to reply, uncomfortable in the lie while nurturing a growing desire to punch Abbot in the arm.
“Yeah. I didn’t believe it when he said it, and I don’t think Jasmine did either. But, I do believe that there’s something going on with you and Abbot, and Abbot is trying to keep it hidden.”
“There’s nothing going on,” I said, my voice getting a little breathy as my memory slammed me with images of Abbot’s masterful mouth. My God, I want to kiss him again.
“I caught him coming out of your room Wednesday morning.”
“We’re not sleeping together.”
He held up a hand. “Abbot knows you’re off limits. Jasmine has rules about relationships around the family that he obviously doesn’t give a fuck about.”
“I assure you there is no relationship. He’s playful and teasing. Nothing else. I swear to you.” Up until this moment, I’d been finding Abbot’s concerns about his family a little over the top. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
“I believe you. Just…whatever the fuck is going on, keep it out of the house and far away from Jasmine. I don’t want you getting hurt over this. Or dragged in any further than you are.”
“Nothing is going on.” I moved back, wanting to walk away.
“Sloane.” He caught me by the arm. “We grew up together, OK? Despite the years, I still care about you like family, and I don’t want to see you hurt. You deserve better and whatever game he’s playing isn’t going to end well.”
Did I really deserve better? I kept being reminded that this was my birthright. So what the hell did it matter how deep I got? It didn’t seem like I was getting out regardless of my own desires, or Abbot’s assurances. I was their new ‘smithy’. Toby just sa
id so himself. So, if I was to be at their beck and call regardless, what the fuck did any of it matter?
I inhaled a frustrated breath and met his gaze again, light blue eyes full of kindness and chagrin. Using my free hand, I patted his as it remained wrapped around my upper arm. “I appreciate your concern, Toby. I really do. But, I’m OK. I’m a big girl now. I can handle myself, and I can handle Abbot too.”
“It’s not Abbot I’m concerned with. It’s the consequences of you two sneaking around and getting caught.”
“Why? What the hell are the consequences?”
His jaw clenched as he released his hold on my arm and shook his head slightly. “Just promise me you’ll be careful. There are a lot of things you don’t know.”
“I’m gathering that.” I stepped away, needing to walk off some frustration since this was obviously as far as this conversation was going. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Toby.”
“Sloane?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we OK?” The sincerity in his voice made my aggravation drop a notch, so I stopped moving away,
“Of course, Toby, always.” Despite the awkwardness, I’d always found my friendship with Toby special. He’d always been good to me.
“I’m glad.” He smiled, so handsome, but so…lost inside. I could see that boy who wanted to escape, hiding behind that well put together façade of his. Which reminds me…
“You know, I never told anyone we planned to run away that summer. All the important secrets, I’ll take to my grave.”
He looked at me for a long moment before responding. “I appreciate that.”
“I know. You’re a good man at heart, Toby.”
“I’m really not.” His arms tightened around his middle again.
“Yes, you are. You’re just stuck in the wrong world.”
“Aren’t we all?” He held my gaze with his.
“I’m not stuck.” I held my hands out to the side and walked backwards away from him. “See? I’m walking away right now.”
He grinned. “Oh yeah? And where are you gonna go?”
“Wherever my feet take me. Home. Queensland—that’s where we planned to go, right?”
“You know they’d only send me to bring you back?”
“What if I didn’t want to come back?”
He leaned forward, his eyes darkening a little. “I’d force you, Sloane,” he stated, his voice harsh and frankly a little jolting.
I stopped dead in my tracks. “You’re serious.”
“As a heart attack. I did not grow into a good man. I grew into a man who is loyal and gets shit done.”
My entire body grew heavy as I studied the man who wasn’t a nineteen-year-old boy with hopes and dreams anymore. Time changed so much and had taken that away. “That makes me really sad, Toby.”
He ran a hand through his hair, messing up the neat styling. “You and me both.” Then he flipped the chair closest to him around and pointed at it. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get us a drink? As far as I know, you were asked to wait here, not take off on your own.”
“Am I being detained?”
“You know something, Sloane, I have no fucking idea. I just do as I’m told. So should you.” He pointed at the chair again before he slipped inside and headed to the kitchen for those drinks.
For a moment, I stood rooted to the ground, contemplating whether I wanted to comply or run the other way. Running would be stupid. I knew that. I wasn’t naïve enough to underestimate what the Cartwrights were capable of, just like I was never so naïve as to believe that Pop wasn’t in on it all. But I’d become incredibly adept at turning a blind eye. Now, in the thick of it, it was something I couldn’t do anymore. I needed to accept that I wasn’t an outsider anymore. Family or not, I had stakes in whatever was going on too. It was naïve to think otherwise, and naïve to think I could walk away.
I took that seat.
“Sorry, Pop,” I whispered, just as the little dog whined at my feet over the stick. Leaning closer, I looked into his big brown eyes and panting face. ““I made a huge mistake coming back here, didn’t I?”
Toby had always been serious, but I’d never seen that darkness in his expression years ago. Fierce. Protective. Strong. Yes.
I did not grow into a good man. I grew into a man who is loyal and gets shit done.
My heart broke a little seeing just how true that was. Perhaps he’d named his dog after himself. Rogue—a dishonest or unprincipled man. I hoped there was more to Toby than that. The softness in his heart couldn’t be all gone.
I sighed. Rogue looked at the stick then back at me, so I threw it and watched him run, feeling like I was sitting in the centre of a deep hole I’d dug for myself.
Just think of the money, Sloane.
I could see that becoming my new mantra.
Chapter Fourteen
No Girly Friends Shit
A tap sounded on the door. “Ready?”
I looked in the mirror, nervous. “Yeah. But do you think this is a dumb idea?”
Abbot opened the door to the en-suite bathroom of my room and grinned when he saw me. “You look great. I think this is a fucking fantastic idea,” he said, casually slinging his arm over my shoulders as we took in our combined appearance.
It was time for the rehearsal dinner and we were standing there dressed in exactly the same outfit. It felt like rebellion at the time of purchase, but now it felt childish and silly. But, that’s what Abbot was, I supposed—a big kid. It was also what I liked about him if I was truthful. He made life fun again, which I’d loved until my conversation with Toby the day before. Now, I worried how this was going to come across to the rest of the family, and whether they’d read something more into it. I still had no idea what these consequences were, but to be safe, I’d locked Abbot out of my bedroom last night then took a sleeping tablet so I could rest. Fat lot of good it did, though. When I woke this morning he was right there, stark naked and snoring softly with his arm draped across my waist. Cheeky bastard.
It felt so good though…
“I really don’t know,” I said. “Maybe I should call Alesha and ask to borrow something again. She’s my size.”
“She’ll already be at the restaurant. And don’t worry, they’re gonna think this is hilarious. I promise.”
With a swallow, I straightened up my tie. “Let’s go then.”
The last ones to leave, we headed out the front of the house where the Jag was parked next to Lizzie. My poor girl had been neglected since I hadn’t needed anything more from her for the safe and I’d been indulging in Abbot’s Jag. But I quietly promised her that we’d be back together soon. I was determined to figure out that combination before next weekend since I didn’t want to be here for the wedding as well. It felt strange enough going to this dinner when I wasn’t even invited in the first place.
And it’s not like I expected them to invite me anywhere. Hell, I hadn’t been a part of their lives for so long that I was surprised any of them had remembered me, so there was no way I’d have expected a wedding invite. But, I didn’t want to attend Kris and Ronnie’s wedding as an obligation either. It felt shitty being a last-minute add-on.
“I feel like the Danny DeVito to your Arnold Schwarzenegger in this,” I said as we pulled up outside the restaurant and stood beside the car.
Abbot loosened my tie a little and popped the top button of my shirt. “You’re much cuter than DeVito. Don’t sweat it.”
“I also feel like this is akin to walking in there with my middle fingers in the air. Don’t you?”
“Mm-hmm. That’s precisely what this is.”
“Don’t you think that’s a shitty thing to do to your brother?”
“Which one?”
“Kristian. The one getting married.”
“He’ll think it’s funny. And Jasmine will spend the night fighting off an aneurysm. It’ll be great. Relax and go with it, Sloane Slater. You’ve got this.” Did I? I didn’t feel confident that I h
ad anything anymore. My life seemed to have exited my control.
The moment we walked inside felt more like revealing my naked body than entering in a three-piece suit. I had no idea how those gathered would react and was sweating bullets as a result. Abbot had made sure we were the last to arrive, so there was a full room of people when he pushed open the door and held his hands above his head.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention?” Oh no. This is worse than I expected!
“What are you doing?” I asked between my teeth. Although, he didn’t answer. He just flashed me one of his mischievous smiles then winked before continuing.
“I’d like to introduce you all to my replacement twin, Sloane Slater. She can’t surf and we’re yet to test out her wingman skills, but she looks mighty fine in a suit and has a wicked sense of humour.”
“I am going to kill you,” I whispered in the beat where the room didn’t quite know what to do. Then Kristian burst out laughing and clapped his hands together, the sound puncturing the air until the rest of the room joined in. Sheep. Although when I caught a glance of Jasmine, she had a mixture of mirth and annoyance in her eyes as Breaker said something in her ear before pressing a kiss against her bare shoulder.
“Just take a bow,” Abbot told me. “They all know you’re one of us now.” Was this another move for my protection?
Folding at the waist dramatically, I flicked my hair back then added a curtsy for good measure. That got me a few laughs and a praise-filled smile from Abbot.
“Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”
We walked across the room, stopping to say hi to friends of the Cartwrights—some also knew Pop and offered condolences—as well as some bikers and their women. No one was introduced as Ronnie’s family, though. Did that mean her situation was a little like mine? Or, were the bikers her family?
“You know, I never would have told you two apart if it wasn’t pointed out,” Holland joked as we made it to the table with all the brothers and their significant others.
Fool’s Errand: Cartwright Brothers, Book 4 Page 10
