by Isobel Bird
“Have you talked to Jed or Mouse lately?” Cooper asked, wondering about the other two members of the band she and T.J. had put together.
T.J. shook his head. “Mouse is on vacation with her folks, and Jed is stuck in summer school,” he said. “We won’t be seeing much of him until fall.”
Cooper nodded. That was fine with her. She liked Mouse and Jed, but the band was really hers and T.J.’s. They wrote the songs. The others just came to play. She was happy to have a couple of months just to write and try out new stuff.
“I think I’m going for the mushroom and spinach pizza,” T.J. said, putting down his menu. “How about you?”
“Maybe the shrimp and pineapple,” Cooper answered. “It sounds just weird enough to be good.”
T.J. nodded. When the waitress came, they gave her their orders. Cooper looked around the restaurant, suddenly at a loss for anything to say. She’d never felt that way with T.J. before, and it bothered her.
“Last time I saw you, you were just about to go camping with your friends,” T.J. said. “How’d that go?”
Cooper sighed. He was talking about the trip she had made with Annie and Kate to the Midsummer ritual. Had it really been that long since she’d seen T.J.? That seemed like forever ago. But she realized that it had only been a couple of weeks.
“It was okay,” she said vaguely. “It wasn’t really what I expected. I guess I’m just not the camping type.”
She hoped that T.J. wouldn’t ask her any more questions about the trip. She was afraid that would lead to talking about her involvement in Wicca. Several months before, when she had been going through all of the stuff surrounding the death of Elizabeth Sanger and her encounter with Elizabeth’s ghost, Cooper’d been afraid that T.J. wouldn’t want to be friends with her when he found out about what she could do. As it turned out, he had been very supportive of her at a time when many people weren’t. But they’d never discussed those events, and they’d never talked about Cooper’s interest in witchcraft.
Now she didn’t want to discuss it. Once she would have liked more than anything to have a friend apart from Kate and Annie with whom she could be open about her interests. She’d thought for a while that that person might be T.J. Ironically, she now found herself hoping that he never brought it up. She didn’t want it to be a big deal. For once in her life, she wanted to feel normal.
“So this concert should really kick,” she said. “The last time I saw them, Mark dropped trou and mooned the audience.”
T.J. smiled. “Maybe you should try that next time we play,” he said, laughing.
Cooper laughed along with him. That was another thing she liked about T.J.—his sense of humor. He had a dryness to him that she found really refreshing. He didn’t resort to stupid jokes like a lot of guys she knew did. In fact, he didn’t talk all that much in general. Except when he’s with you, she thought to herself. She’d never really thought about that before, but now that the thought had crossed her mind she realized that it was true. T.J. did talk more when they were alone together. She wondered why.
She looked at him sitting across from her. His red hair was, as usual, shaved down almost to the skin. The three earrings in his ear and the stud in his nose looked totally normal on him, not affected like they did on a lot of the kids who liked to think of themselves as punks or rocker types. T.J. always seemed to do things because he liked doing them, and not because anyone else said they were cool or because everyone was doing them. Cooper liked that.
Do you have a crush on this guy or what? she asked herself. The thought embarrassed her. She was the one who was always picking on Kate for being so boy crazy. She thought girls who drooled over guys were spritz-heads, brainless dolts who didn’t have anything better to do than hang on their boyfriends’ every word and sit at home waiting for them to call. She herself had never dated anyone, preferring to be by herself and pursue the things that interested her.
But T.J. liked the things that interested her. And she liked being around him. She could talk to him, at least when she wasn’t scared of saying something stupid like she was now. But a boyfriend? She couldn’t even imagine what that would be like.
The arrival of the pizza saved her from having to think about it anymore. As she and T.J. picked up their slices and started chewing, her thoughts turned to other things, namely Kate and Annie. She found herself wondering what they were doing. She hadn’t called either of them in a long time, and she felt a little guilty about that. She’d almost picked up the phone on Tuesday night, but then she’d realized that they were probably at Crones’ Circle with the rest of the study group.
Of the three of them, Cooper had always thought that she was the one with the strongest ties to witchcraft. After all, her grandmother had been teaching her simple charms and spells when she was a little girl, even though Cooper hadn’t realized what they were at the time. She was the one who had accused Kate of being afraid of what Wicca could do back when Kate had tried to run away from the group, and there had never been any doubt in her mind that she would be joining a coven as soon as her year and a day of study was completed. Why, she’d been one of the first ones to step up to the cauldron and claim her word of power during their dedication ceremony in April.
Connection. That had been her word. It was supposed to signify both the challenge of her journey that year as well as one of the gifts that would help her along the way. And at first her connections had helped her. Her friendship with Annie and Kate had brought a lot of good things to her life. Her connection to the women at Crones’ Circle, and to the members of the various covens who participated in the rituals she attended, had taught her many things about magic and the Wiccan way. Even her connection to Elizabeth Sanger’s ghost had been something she welcomed.
But those connections hadn’t helped her during her ordeal on Midsummer Eve. If anything, her connections to the witch community had been severed that night when she’d run into those strange kids. After pretending to befriend her, they had turned on her. Even though they claimed it was all in fun, she hadn’t had fun. She’d been frightened, and angry, and all they had succeeded in doing was showing her that sometimes connections couldn’t be trusted.
But where did that leave Kate and Annie? Did cutting her ties to the Wiccan community mean she had to cut her ties to them as well? She didn’t want to think that it did. But could she really still be friends with them in the way that they were all friends before? She wasn’t sure that they could, and that made her sad.
“You look awfully serious all of a sudden,” T.J. said, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Are you having vegetarian guilt over eating the shrimp?”
Cooper finished chewing the food in her mouth and swallowed. “Hardly,” she said. “My rule is that I don’t eat anything that has a face. I know technically shrimp have faces, but it’s not quite the same as a cow or a pig or something with a snout. No, I was just thinking about some stuff that’s been going on.”
T.J. nodded. “Anything you want to talk about?”
Cooper was surprised. Besides Annie and Kate, and sometimes her parents, nobody ever asked her if she wanted to talk about what was bugging her. Usually, people stayed clear of her when she was in one of her moods. But here T.J. was going right into things.
“No,” she said. “But thanks for asking.”
“Any time,” he said, shrugging as he picked up another piece of pizza and started eating.
They finished up, paid, and then walked a few doors down to the concert hall. People were already lined up outside waiting to get in, and Cooper saw some people she knew. She nodded to them as she and T.J. took their place in line. It felt good to be out doing something she liked, instead of sitting inside feeling sorry for herself. She hadn’t been to a concert in a while, and she was ready to have some fun.
“Cooper,” someone called out.
Cooper looked up and saw Sasha walking toward her, and her stomach churned. Like Cooper, Kate, and Annie, Sasha was involved in Wicca.
Although she didn’t participate in the weekly study group, she was living with Thea, one of the members of the coven that ran Crones’ Circle. Sasha was a runaway, and Thea had recently been appointed her legal guardian. Cooper hadn’t spoken to Sasha since deciding to leave the group, and she didn’t know how much Sasha knew about what had happened to her and why she’d decided to stop coming to classes and rituals.
“Hi, Sasha,” Cooper said nervously as the other girl stopped in front of her. “You look great.”
It was true. Sasha did look great. Her once-scrawny frame had filled out, and she seemed happy and at ease.
“Thanks,” replied Sasha. “Thea’s cooking helps. It’s really worked magic on me, if you know what I mean.”
Cooper knew that this was a veiled reference to Sasha’s involvement in the witch community and its transforming effect on her life. She was happy for her friend, but she wasn’t about to get into a conversation about the Craft with her, especially not with T.J. there.
“Sasha, do you know T.J.?” she asked, looking for a diversion.
“I’ve seen you around,” Sasha said.
“Me, too,” T.J. answered. “Are you here for the show?”
Sasha shook her head. “Just passing through,” she said. “But I’m glad I ran into you, Coop.”
Cooper felt herself instinctively bristle at Sasha’s use of the nickname she hated. Sasha knew she didn’t like to be called Coop, but she did it to try to get a rise out of her. Cooper had given up telling her not to call her that.
“You heard about Kate, right?” Sasha continued.
Cooper shook her head. “No,” she said. “I haven’t talked to her in a while. Why? Has something happened?”
“Not to her,” Sasha answered. “It’s her aunt. She has cancer. Kate just found out. She was pretty bummed. I thought she would have told you.”
“I’ve been kind of busy,” Cooper said, but inside she was wondering the same thing Sasha was. Why hadn’t Kate called her if something was wrong? Probably because she thinks you don’t want her to, she thought guiltily.
“Well, she’s taking it hard,” said Sasha. “You should call her if you get a minute.”
Cooper nodded. “Yeah,” she said, “I will. Thanks for telling me.”
“I should go,” said Sasha. “You guys have a great time.”
“Thanks,” Cooper responded as Sasha waved and walked away.
“Wow,” Cooper said, looking at T.J. “Cancer. That’s rough. Poor Kate.”
“If you want to go see her, that’s okay,” T.J. said. “We can skip the show.”
Cooper shook her head. “No,” she said. “That won’t help anything. But I probably should go call her. I’ll be right back.”
She left T.J. in line and went to find a pay phone. There was one right down the block, and she was surprised to find it actually working when she picked up the receiver. She rummaged around in her pocket for the right change and dropped the coins into the coin slot. Then she began dialing Kate’s number.
Wait a minute, she thought as she punched in the numbers. What am I doing? She hadn’t talked to Kate in two weeks. Kate hadn’t bothered to call her to tell her what had happened. What made her think Kate wanted to hear from her now?
She stood there for a moment, the phone in her hand, thinking about what she should do. Kate was her friend. Normally, Cooper would have been right there supporting her. But maybe Kate had stepped back for a reason. Maybe she didn’t want Cooper involved in this.
Cooper hung up the phone and heard the coins clatter into the return slot. She fished inside and took them out, holding them in her palm for a minute as she considered making the call again. A big part of her wanted Kate to know that she was thinking of her. But maybe that connection, like some of the others in her life, needed to be cut. Maybe by leaving the group she’d gone too far away from Kate and the others in the Wiccan community and couldn’t go back.
She put the coins in her pocket and walked back to T.J.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Cooper lied. “Fine.”
A minute later the doors opened and people began filing into the club. Cooper showed her license at the door and let the attendant snap a pink plastic bracelet around her wrist indicating that she wasn’t yet old enough to buy alcohol. T.J. got one as well, and then they went inside, bypassing the table of overpriced T-shirts and other souvenirs.
Their seats were great, only a couple of rows from the stage and dead center. Cooper was amazed at how good they were.
“How did you get these tickets?” she asked T.J.
“A buddy of mine at a record store had them,” he said. “It pays to have friends sometimes.”
It sure does, Cooper thought. But what kind of friend was she being, not even calling Kate? She didn’t want to think about it.
Fortunately, she didn’t have time to dwell on the subject. Not long after they sat down, the lights dimmed and the crowd leapt to its feet as Blink-182 took the stage. Cooper stood with them, enjoying the roar in her ears.
Mark and Tom launched into one of her favorite songs, “All the Small Things,” while Curtis’s tattooed arms beat the drums with a vengeance. Cooper sang along with the guys, screaming the words. There was so much cheering, and so many other people singing along as well, that she knew no one would hear her, or mind if they did. Everyone was there to have a great time, and that meant getting into things as much as possible.
For the next hour and a half she was on her feet, dancing and singing. From time to time she watched Tom’s hands, trying to watch how he played his guitar and seeing if she could learn anything new. All other thoughts left her mind, and she found herself enveloped by the music. The familiar sense of peace filled her, the feeling that nothing else mattered except singing and playing. It was a magic all its own, and she welcomed it, embraced it. For the first time since that awful night in the woods, she was enjoying music again. The throbbing chords of Blink-182’s songs had driven the eerie faerie melodies right out of her head.
When the show ended, after three raucous encores during which the band did a bizarre but fantastic cover of the theme song from Josie and the Pussycats, Cooper and T.J. walked out of the theater and on to the street. Cooper was still pumped from the show, and she was thrilled that the concert had managed to knock the lingering taste of the faerie music out of her system.
“That was the best,” she told T.J. as they walked toward the bus stop. “Thanks for asking me to go.”
“Any time,” he said.
They reached the bus stop and stood there, waiting for their respective buses. T.J. lived in a different part of town from Cooper, so they wouldn’t be riding home together. When a bus pulled up, Cooper saw that it was hers, not T.J.’s. As the doors opened she turned to him.
“Thanks again,” she said. “I really needed this.”
T.J. smiled without saying anything. Then, before she realized what she was doing, Cooper leaned forward and kissed him. It was a quick kiss, but when she pulled back she was shocked at herself for doing it.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Why?” T.J. asked.
Before he could say anything else Cooper turned and got onto the bus. As the doors closed and the bus pulled away, she looked out and saw T.J. watching her, a little smile on his face.
CHAPTER 7
“She’s right in here,” the nurse said to Kate, indicating a door on the left.
Kate paused a moment, the bouquet of flowers in her hands shaking as she tried to calm herself. She’s going to be fine, she told herself. It was the mantra she’d been repeating ever since Thursday morning, when she and her mother had brought Aunt Netty to the hospital’s cancer ward to begin a series of tests and treatment. That had only been a little more than thirty-six hours ago, surely not long enough for anything to have really happened yet.
Smiling broadly, Kate stepped into her aunt’s room. Her mother was already there, sitting in a chair beside A
unt Netty’s bed. Aunt Netty herself seemed to be asleep when Kate entered.
“How is she?” Kate asked her mother.
“The medication they’re giving her makes her really tired,” Mrs. Morgan answered. “She’s been dozing on and off all day.”
Kate looked at her sleeping aunt’s face. Seeing her like that, she looked almost healthy. Except for her missing hair, Kate would never have thought that something had gone terribly wrong inside her. But something had. Now they were trying to stop it. But would it work?
Aunt Netty’s eyelids fluttered and opened. For a moment she seemed confused, her eyes glazed over and unfocused. But then she saw Kate standing there and she smiled.
“Hey, sweetie,” she said, sounding a little hoarse. “Have I kept you waiting long?”
“I just got here,” Kate said as her aunt struggled to sit up. Kate helped her, propping her up with some pillows. “How do you feel?”
“Like someone put me through the spin cycle,” her aunt said. “What time is it?”
“Almost six,” Kate told her. “Dinnertime.”
Her aunt held up a hand. “Please,” she said. “I can’t even think about eating. Especially not hospital food.”
“The medication makes her nauseated,” Mrs. Morgan explained.
Kate pulled up a chair and sat next to her aunt. “What exactly are they doing?” she asked.
“Injecting me with poison,” Aunt Netty responded. “Three times a day. It’s supposed to knock out whatever is left of the cancer. Unfortunately, it seems to be knocking me out along with it.”
“It’s just about time for your next dose,” Mrs. Morgan said.
As if on cue, a doctor appeared. She was young, Kate thought, and pretty. Her long blond hair hung past her shoulders, and she carried a file in her hand.
“Hi, Annette,” she said, smiling. “How’s it going?”
Aunt Netty laughed. “No one calls me Annette now that Mom is gone,” she said. “Call me Netty. And I feel terrible.”
