dirt stuck in her teeth. Then jumped up and down like a 3-year-old. She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the direction of her house.
The house was solid. One of those houses that didn't fall down. That was unique in their part of the world, and Jenny was proud of it. She tugged harder and he slipped on a toad and went down on one knee. Jenny looked back when her arm yanked and stared aghast. . .
"Oh. My. Heck! Are you proposing?" she questioned.
"Wwwhaaat? No!" Mark shivered, his mouth hanging open like Jaws.
Jenny quickly pulled the veil off of her head, the one she kept stashed in her pocket just in case a moment like this occurred, and then she laughed, "Yeah, of course you're not." She looked around sheepishly and cleared her throat and crossed and uncrossed her arms. "Because that would be pretty stupid, proposing. I mean, we've only been dating for nine years. Definitely NOT long enough."
Mark jumped up like a bolt. "We haven't been dating nine years! Jenny, you've been dating Park Motts! I'm MARK POTTS!"
"Oh," Jenny said sheepishly, shaking her head again which this time did release little water droplets because she tended to get a sweaty hairline when she felt nervous or embarrassed.
"Well, he sounds nice," she continued.
Mark brushed off his knees. "He's an enforcer for the mob."
Jenny smiled. "Oh good. Unemployment is never attractive."
Just then . . . breaking the moment of the awkward mistaken proposal and identity of Mark, the elusive Scruffy came out of nowhere and began tugging on Jenny's leggings, which actually hurt because they were tight against her skin and the dog got more than just the fabric of the legging.
"Scruffy?" Jenny said a bit annoyed. "What is it, boy?" all the while trying to free him from her ample thigh.
Scruffy continued to whine, nervously gesturing towards the well-constructed house. Scruffy stared, pacing and panting.
Actually, quite relieved, Mark immediately seized the moment to take the dogs lead to change the subject. But there was no doubt, both Jenny and Mark were intrigued with the dog's sudden interest in the house.
But the house was just a red herring. Because then Jenny and Max heard the unmistakable sounds of gunfire coming from a pirate ship that had sailed into the bay when they were busy trying to not get engaged.
They heard a sound behind them. Jenny screamed as she watched Park Motts come out of the house awkwardly carrying one of Jenny's new large house rugs. It was bigger than a normal rug should be. It was as big as rug with a dead body rolled up inside of it might have been.
Mark winced as Park's bulging biceps sauntered passed them heading toward street.
"Hey, Bae," he said ruggedly. "Just finishing up an assignment, then the boss wants me to handle the new gang in town. They're stealing too much business." He motioned to the pirate ship in the distant ocean waters that could still be seen from Jenny's house because she lived within running distance of the beach.
"The Pirates?" Mark asked.
Max said, “Good. I hated that rug,” as Jenny kicked him in the leg
Park didn't hear Matt insult the rug. He was too busy dumping the rug in the back of his truck which thudded loudly like a rug with a dead body wrapped in it might do.
Jenny called out after Park, "Be safe taking care of the pirates. Will you be home for dinner?"
Park grunted and gave a nod. You know, the manly kind that says "I'm too cool for vocabulary and we all know you'll understand this chin thrust anyway." But as he got into his truck to drive off to deal with pirates, he did use his vocabulary. Limited though it was. "Oh. And don't forget that pile of mail still sitting on the table. I didn't have enough room to build my jigsaw puzzle this morning cuz it was all still sitting there."
Finally, with Park gone, Jenny was able to take Mark, who was NOT Park, into the house and toward his mail. As Mark stepped over the many rolled up and thick—like there were dead bodies in the middle kind of thick—rugs in the hallway he said, "Wow, these rugs must have a really thick pile on them."
"Yeah, Park likes them that way. Although, I don't know why he prefers them all rolled up. Just one of his little quirks, I suppose. I love a quirky man." And she batted her eyes at Mark, once again forgetting who she was talking to.
Just then, steps and a knock at the door, like an FBI bang bang knock. Who was it? The door swung open with a groan to reveal a silhouette of a tall, back-lit figure. Hard, taut biceps bulged from a t-shirt too small for the hulking frame. On no, Jenny thought. It can't be, yet it can. "B-Brad?" she uttered. Not Brad! Bad Brad.
Yep. Bad Brad was back. And he meant business. Unfinished bad business.
Bad Brad had darkened Jenny's door before, and now he was back again, darkening her door once again. Jenny tried to remember how long it had been since Bad Brad had darkened her door. She thought, "I can't remember how long it's been since Bad Brad darkened my doorway, back-lit like this."
“Tootles Brad, " Jenny said with wavy fingers. And slammed the door and locked it with the ten dead bolts on the door. Then she grabbed Mark's arm and dragged him to the table with the puzzle.
Mark looked at the puzzle "So Park is a puppy and kittens kind of guy huh? And what's with that Brad guy?”
Jenny looked up from the massive amount of unopened mail she scooped up into her arms. "Yeah he is. But for some reason he doesn't seem to like my Scruffy." She frowned ignoring the question about brad.
"Can't imagine why," Mark said and decided that Brad didn't matter. Then he jumped when Jenny screamed in excitement and pulled two large, like massive huge large envelopes out of the pile.
She got all serious and handed them to Mark.
"Mike these are those super secret important never tell anyone you got them mail thingys I was telling you about. See they are super duper important and all cuz well . . see!!!!"
Mark rolled his eyes and tried not to get caught up in Jenny's crazy. But his eyes got huge when it said "Top secret for Mark Max Matt Mike Marvin's eyes only." The other one was super amazing too it was a publishers clearing House sweepstakes addressed to him! This was definitely the best surprise ever! He put the top secret envelope down on Park’s half-done 100 piece puzzle tore open the sweepstakes’ envelope and shouted, “Huzzah!!” When it said he might Be a big winner!
Brad appeared out of nowhere and said, "Put that mail down. I mean it. I mean it now."
"Save me, Mace! Bad Brad is going to eat me! He keeps saying 'Get in my belly!' every time we would go out to for ribs!"
Mark's jaw dropped to the floor. Literally. His prosthetic jaw dropped. To the floor. With a thud.
Then Jenny, getting tired of being the tiresome girl who always needs saving, performed a perfect roundhouse kick to Bad Brad's head, making it smack against the door. The sound it made was like a wet, round, head-shaped watermelon exploding against a door.
"Looks like we need another rug," said Jenny.
Jenny was suddenly in the mood for another watermelon-flavored Jolly Rancher. She wondered if any of the pirates on the ship outside had a secret stash of them.
"Grab your jaw. Let's go," she ordered to Mace. "I have a hankerin' for a Jolly Roger Jolly Rancher. And stop acting like a fool, Molly."
"Why are the watermelon Jolly Ranchers ALWAYS GONE?" Molly wailed.
Mark, who really resented being mistaken for Molly, grabbed his two really important letters and headed out the door after Jenny. He didn't know why he was following her. But he had to read that top secret letter, and he wasn't going to do it in a house filled with . . . rolled rugs.
Suddenly, a deep groaning sounded from inside the rug Jenny was carrying.
Jenny was uncommonly strong. Seriously, you should've seen how many push-ups this girl could do. It was a lot. Like, A LOT a lot.
In moments such as this, Jenny was glad to have a set of sharp chopsticks shoved into the ribs of the corset that she wore beneath her billowing shirt. "Pirates!" She yelled back to Matt as they ran back down
the sand toward the beach. "That Jolly Pirate named Roger stole my . . . " She went face down, tumbling with the rug.
Mark cleared his throat. "Ginny, would this be a bad time for a kiss?" Mark was caught off guard by his reaction to want to kiss Jenny. It was like it came out of nowhere. He shook it off and regained his thoughts again.
Milt needed to hatch a plan and he needed one quick. He needed time. He needed privacy. He needed to be alone. And he couldn't have anyone else around. He had to know what was in that secret envelope. He already knew he had a big chance at winning the Clearinghouse sweepstakes, so he was glad he didn't have that added pressure . . . but he had a sneaky suspicion that there was more at stake than just a sweepstake.
Max looked down at Ginny as she was now tangled up in the rug with Bad Brad.
Brad rose as if from getting up. "You want Jolly Ranchers??? Do you? I'll pirate you away to that ship for your Jolly Ranchers. And your little letters, too."
Just then the super secret letter began making a ticking sound, like a timer of some sort was counting down, even though the ticking was metaphorically only in Matt’s mind.
Suddenly Mark looked down at the top secret letter still in his hands. This was it. He had to know what it said. All his hopes and dreams hinged on what was inside this envelope. He took a deep breath, as deep as the one he took the summer he and his brother went swimmin' in the ol' swimmin' hole before an alligator rose up and ate his brother for lunch. The water had been as red as a
The Weeping Healer Page 2
