by MJ Summers
He held her there, up against the wall, as they recovered. Harper clutched him with her arms, her legs, not wanting him to ever put her down, ever pull out of her. “How are we ever going to give this up?” she asked finally.
“I don’t know,” he sighed. “For now we’ll have to just savour the last tastes,” he answered in a low tone. Carefully, he lifted her up and off him, lowering her to standing again. Pressing his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes. Harper was grateful for the spray of the water that prevented him from seeing her tears. He kissed her on the mouth again, this time letting his lips linger on hers as though he never wanted to stop.
* * *
The next morning, Harper’s alarm went off at six thirty, far too early. For the last two weeks, she’d worked fourteen-hour days, and after her gruelling flight back from Portugal and a late night of sex, she was beyond exhausted as she dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom to shower and dress for the day. Twenty minutes later, she made her way to the kitchen to have a quick bite before Megan arrived to pick her up. They needed to leave for the mother of the bride’s house by seven forty sharp. Grabbing two apples and tossing some trail mix into a sandwich bag, Harper then pulled on her coat and shoes and waited by the front door. She didn’t want to make Megan wait for even a second after having left her in the lurch over the past week. Megan had handled the rehearsal and dinner the night before as well as the bridal shower the previous Sunday, both of which Harper had been scheduled for. When she saw her friend pull up out front, she hurried out, quietly shutting the door and locking it behind her. Megan popped the trunk from the driver’s seat and waited for Harper to load up her bags and get in.
“Hi,” Harper said as she buckled her seat belt.
“Hi.” Megan stared at Harper for a moment. “No offense, but you look like hell.”
“Thanks. I’m so unbelievably tired.”
“You sure this is all going to be worth it?”
Harper rested her head against the seat back and closed her eyes. “At the moment, I have my doubts.”
Megan put the car in gear and pulled away from the sidewalk. “So, maybe don’t go.”
Still keeping her eyes closed, Harper answered, “I have to. It’s what I’ve worked my whole life for and now it’s being handed to me, Megan. I can’t just give that up.”
“Why not?”
“What do you mean, why not?” Harper asked with a distinct edge in her voice. She sat up and turned to glare at Megan.
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, you’ve built quite a nice life for yourself right here. You’ve got family and friends who love you, a great job with your BFF, you’ve been doing some really rewarding volunteer work, not to mention you have a hot man you’re totally in love with. The way I see it, you actually have a lot more to give up here than there.”
“I already told Blaire I’d take the job.”
“So what!” Megan scoffed. “What do you even owe Blaire anyway? I mean, when you lost your job, was she there for you? No. Not until she was up shit’s creek and needed to use you as a paddle. So why the hell are you giving up everything and dropping all the people who actually love you?”
Harper slumped down in her seat but said nothing.
Getting no response, Megan went on. “I know you think what I do isn’t that important, but in its own quiet way it has value. We document the most important and beautiful moments in peoples’ lives. The moments that they will look back on fifty years from now and their great-grandkids will look back on a hundred years from now. And it means something.”
Harper’s voice was shaky as she spoke. She was both overtired and overly emotional. “Well, maybe I don’t want to spend the rest of my days documenting something I’ll never have. Did you ever think of that?”
Megan glanced over at her friend. “Oh, Harper, there’s no reason on earth that you can’t have those things if you want them.”
“With whom? The guy I’m sleeping with who doesn’t want a future with anyone ever?” Harper’s voice was incredulous.
“You don’t know that. From the sounds of things, you’ve both done nothing but dance around the truth, which is just totally unlike you! I’ve never seen you so scared to speak your mind. And until you do, you’ll never know for sure!”
“The thing is I do know, Megan. He’s been very clear about the whole thing and no amount of wishing is going to change that. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to take the sure thing. I’m going back to fucking Manhattan so I can live out my fucking dreams! And I really don’t want to hear another fucking word about it from anyone! Least of all my friend who grew up in the perfect family and now has one of her own!”
Megan’s head jerked back in surprise. Her voice was quiet. “Wow. I had no idea that’s how you felt.”
They drove on in a pained silence for a few blocks.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” Harper admitted finally.
“No, I’m sorry. I should stay out of it. It’s your life. You don’t need me to give you a hard time about how you choose to live it.”
“It’s okay, really. I know you’re just trying to make sure I’ll be happy.”
Megan pulled up in front of their destination and put her hand over her friend’s. “I really am. I love you so much, Harper. And I’m worried about you. And I’m going to miss you so much when you go.” Her voice broke.
Harper blinked furiously, trying to stop her tears. “I know. I’m going to miss you too. But it’s what I have to do, okay?”
“I know.” Megan’s eyes glistened as she gave her friend a sad smile.
* * *
The rest of the day went relatively smoothly. As the event wore on, they fell into their natural rhythm, getting the shots they needed without being obtrusive during the ceremony or the dinner. It was close to midnight by the time Megan drove Harper home. The air had all but cleared between them, but Harper still felt some residual guilt about what she’d said that morning.
“Do you want to come in for tea or a glass of wine?” Harper offered. Staring at the dark house, she realized that Evan must have gone to bed already.
“No. I better not. I’m wiped and I have to be up early with the kids. Luc will have had a long day with them.”
Harper turned to her friend. “Megan, about our conversation this morning. I still feel really bad about hurting your feelings. I didn’t mean what I said about your family.”
“I know. It’s okay. I’m sorry too,” Megan said. “Part of me is going to keep hoping you’ll stay, though. In my heart of hearts, I believe you’d be happy here.”
“The life I’m going back to isn’t one you should pity me for. It’s going to be fabulous. It’s the smart choice.”
* * *
Late Sunday morning, as Evan and Harper lay in bed in a blissful post-sex moment, Harper’s cellphone buzzed, indicating an email.
Evan held her wrist as she reached for it. “Leave it. The magazine had you for the last week. Megan got you yesterday. Today is my day. Let’s just have twenty-four hours without thinking about anyone or anything but us.” He gave her a lingering kiss on the neck to help make his case.
Harper moaned. “Mmm, you’re certainly very convincing, especially with that thing you’re doing with your lips right now.”
“Glad you can be persuaded,” he said, pulling back and lifting himself off the bed in one move. “Give me a couple of minutes. I’ll be right back for round two,” he said as he got up and pulled on some low-slung pyjama bottoms.
“Hey, you can’t just give a lady a kiss like that and then walk away,” Harper called to him as he left the room.
“I need to refuel, and believe me, so do you.” He flashed a killer grin back at her before turning down the hall.
Harper flopped back onto her pillow. Smiling to herself, she heard the sound of water running at the kitchen sink, followed by the sound of the coffee grinder. She had a full day in bed with Evan to look forward to, and she was
going to drink in every delicious drop of it. Sex was the only thing that took her mind off what was happening, the only thing that pushed out that nagging feeling of dread that had been following her everywhere since she agreed to take the job. As long as he was touching her, she could forget.
Stretching, she suddenly felt chilly and got up to grab her bathrobe. Glancing down at her phone as she tied the sash on her robe, she sat down on the bed, deciding that it couldn’t hurt just to check who the message was from. If she didn’t look, she would be distracted from focusing on Evan. It was probably something that could wait. But just in case, she better check it while she had a minute.
Opening her inbox, she saw the words Red Alert! in the subject line under Blaire’s name.
“Son of a . . .” she muttered, her heart sinking as she opened the email. A moment later, Harper was rushing down the hall to get her computer. Evan looked up from his position in front of the counter in time to see the panic on her face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Somehow a section of the June issue has gone missing. Twenty plates have just disappeared from the printer’s. The run was going to start tonight at eight, and the crazy part is that those same pages are not anywhere in the saved versions of the file on the server. Blaire needs me to check to see if I’ve got them backed up somewhere on my hard drive. If not, we’re screwed.” Harper spoke quickly as she turned on her laptop and sat down.
“What? How could that happen?” Evan asked.
“They don’t know. This has never happened before, but it looks like someone is trying to mess with Blaire. There were twelve pages of ads by some really key clients that have just gone up in smoke. It doesn’t make any sense. I’m so sorry, Evan. She needs me to call her right away. Can you give me a few minutes and then we’ll pretend it never happened?”
“Sure. You want some cereal?” Evan nodded, then handed her a mug of coffee.
“No thanks, babe. I’ll eat when I’m done.”
Taking a bowl of cereal and some coffee, he walked into his office and turned on the computer. An hour later, Harper was still on the phone, and now three more members of the team had been patched into the call. No one had been able to find what they needed, and they would have to recreate the files within the next few hours. At least twice every five minutes, the conversation oscillated from speculation about how this had happened to how the problem could be solved.
Evan showered and dressed, then wandered back into the kitchen. Lowering his head and waving to get her attention, he realized it was no use, so he wrote her a little note. Going to the job site. Looks like you’ll be at this a while. Call me when you’re free and clear. I have a long list of naughty things to do with you . . .
Starting up his cold truck, Evan let it run for a minute, staring back at the house. Inside was the woman he loved as he’d never seen her before. She was a ball of excited energy, contained but clearly so alive at that moment. Everything about her work, including this latest crisis, seemed to somehow light her up in a way he’d never seen before. He thought of the expression on her face as she had read his note, gave him a grateful look and mouthed “Sorry” to him. She lived for this. It was obvious to him. And now that she was back in that world, she was quickly leaving his. Soon she’d be gone for good. Starting down the street, he sighed to himself, knowing that the end was hurtling toward him at the speed of light.
He returned six hours later, having heard nothing from Harper. She was talking to someone on speakerphone while working away on her computer. The man on the other end was laughing at something as Evan walked into the room. Harper was laughing along with him, but her hands never stopped moving as she resized and cropped a photo. She stopped long enough to wave at Evan and give him another apologetic look. She was still in her bathrobe, the coffee mug he had given her earlier still on the table, now empty. A banana peel sat next to it, making him wonder if that was all she had eaten that day. Walking down the hall, he undressed to have another shower. He had gotten a lot of work done, but he hadn’t been behind to begin with. The last two weeks, he’d been at the job site late every evening because he had no reason to go home. Now he was ahead of schedule, having wrapped up almost every detail.
Making his way back to the kitchen a few minutes later, Evan found Harper in exactly the same position as when he’d left. She didn’t know he was standing behind her as she spoke. “Christ, this would be so much easier if I were there . . . Damn it, I never should have come back this weekend.”
Wincing, he wrote her another note. Going out to grab supper. Too hungry to wait for you.
He placed it next to her on the table and walked out without saying anything. When he got home, he could hear the shower running. She had finally pried herself away from the computer. He put a bag of Thai food on the table and went in search of a corkscrew to open the wine he’d bought.
Harper’s cellphone rang. Seeing that it was Blaire, he decided to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Um . . . hi. Is this Evan?”
“It is. Harper’s just in the shower right now. Can I get her to call you in a bit?”
“Yes. Can you tell her I need her to call me right away?” Blaire’s tone was brisk. “There’s one last thing I need her to finish up tonight.”
“I’ll let her know.”
“Thank you,” Blaire answered before hanging up.
When Harper emerged from the bathroom, she was dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved black T-shirt. As he watched her walk into the kitchen, his heart started to break. She was completely lovely to him as she used a towel to squeeze the excess water from her hair.
“There you are!” She made a beeline to him and kissed him hard on the mouth. “Thai food? That smells divine. I’ve only had a banana all day.”
“Thought you could go for a little coconut rice and some red curry chicken.” He attempted a smile but his eyes were full of sadness. He pulled away and turned to get some plates down from the cupboard.
“I’m so sorry about today, Evan.” Harper rubbed his back with her hands, then wrapped her arms around him, leaning against him for a moment. “We were supposed to have a day to hide away from the world, but it was completely ruined.”
“These things happen, right?” He turned, careful to avoid her as he took the plates to the table. “I guess that’s one of the sacrifices if you’re handed the opportunity of a lifetime, right?”
“I suppose.” Harper’s voice was tentative.
“Blaire called. She needs you to call her right away.”
“Well, forget her. I’m going to sit and eat with you first.”
“Either way, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve been thinking maybe you should stay at your dad’s until you move back to New York,” he replied. “We both need to face the fact that this is over. Let’s not drag it out any longer.”
Harper’s shoulders dropped. She reached for his hand, covering it with her palm. “Why does it have to be over? We could still see each other after I move. People do it all the time.”
“The thing is, Harper, I’m not going to be that guy you sleep with when you’re back in town for a few days here and there. A lot of guys would love that type of arrangement, but I’m not one of them. I’ve realized I want more than that. But you don’t. And that’s okay, but it means we’re done here.”
Harper rubbed her temples with her fingertips. “Why right now?” she groaned. “Why do you have to pick this moment to do this? With everything else I’m trying to deal with?” she asked, tears threatening to escape her eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Should I have called your assistant in New York to have her schedule a breakup when it was more convenient for you?” Evan’s tone was pure sarcasm.
“Wow. You know what? Fuck you,” she said, her body and words devoid of emotion, before she walked out of the room.
Harper spent the next twenty minutes packing up her things, hoping he would stop her. She didn’t want it to end this way. If she were real
ly honest, she didn’t want to end it at all. She wanted him to ask her to stay. Evan had gone into his office and was sitting at his desk working on some spreadsheets. She walked past the office several times as she collected her things. He didn’t look up once. Instead he kept working. Finally, standing at the front door, she pulled on her coat and boots.
Evan appeared around the corner, his jaw set. “So, this is it, then.”
“I guess so. It’s a shame you want to end it like this.”
“Does it really matter how it ends? We were just having fun, remember?”
“It doesn’t feel so fun right now.” Harper stared at him, her face expressionless. She wouldn’t let him see how much this hurt.
“It’s reality, babe. So, I’m sure you’ll go running from it.” His eyes were ice cold. “You need help getting your things out of here?”
“Not from you,” she replied firmly. Opening the door, she picked up her laptop bag and slung it over her shoulder, followed by her overnight bag and her purse on the other shoulder. Gathering all of her things, she overloaded her arms, straining every finger to grip every bag so that she could spare herself the indignity of coming back. Unable to see over everything, she went out the door, carefully testing her footing on each step down as she made her way to the sidewalk. The last thing she needed was to trip over her own feet and fall, especially if he was watching her. It was dark out now and the night air was cold, causing her to shiver. Dropping several bags in the snow along the way, she swore to herself. Her arms ached as much as her heart by the time she reached the front door of her dad’s house. Humiliated, she let everything fall at the bottom of the steps and went back to pick up what she had lost en route.
Glancing across the street, she could see Mrs. Morley watching her from her living room window. Extending her middle finger, she held it up at the woman, giving her a venomous glare as she did. Mrs. Morley quickly closed the curtains, and Harper assumed her next move would be to pick up her phone. But she couldn’t care less at that moment. She had just had her heart torn to shreds. Finally getting all of her things to her dad’s steps, she rooted around in her purse for her keys, stopping when her dad quietly opened the door for her.
