His brows furrow, but he nods as he knows that staying away from me when my parents are around is the best strategy.
I smile to wipe his worry from his face and stand. “I’ll be ok, Jules.” Then I walk out of the room with my head held high.
Chapter 53
Josephine
Mrs. Lampkin, a stout woman in her fifties, hurries me along as she leads me to Mr. Dwyer’s door. Her blonde head bobs as she tells me to pick up the pace because she’s busy. I snort. Twice today I saw her in front of the mirror, spraying her stiff updo and retouching the purple nail polish on her fingernails. If she’s busy, then I’m Donald Trump.
She doesn’t have to walk with me. I was just here this morning, so I know the layout of this office. Perhaps it’s the way I’m dawdling because I am contemplating bolting out of here.
As soon as she opens the door, I smell the undeniable scent of my mother’s perfume. I keep my eyes on my principal, embracing the magical thinking that I can stay invisible as long as I don’t make eye contact with my parents.
“I leave you alone for two weeks, and I get a call from the school on the day we return,” said my mom. “Does trouble follow you wherever you go?”
I take a deep breath and avoid her gaze. So much for magic. This feels like hell already. My mother stands from her chair because she can’t remain still. Meanwhile, my father, who looks thinner and gaunt, plasters the same bored countenance on his face. That hasn’t changed.
“Sit down,” said my dad. “This is taking longer than necessary.”
I tiptoe to the leather recliner in front of the principal’s desk and take a seat. From the corner of my eye, I glance at them, and I remember that they’re not my biological parents. I breathe a sigh of relief because I only share twenty-five percent of my DNA with my so-called mother and none with my so-called father. I don’t want their blood in my veins. Suddenly, I miss my Aunt Helen. But I shake my head because I’m not interested in getting trapped in my sentimental thoughts.
In the meantime, Mr. Dwyer has his hands steepled to convince us he is in control, but I can see trickles of sweat on his forehead. I know he’s uncomfortable with our family dynamics. He has seen this before, and my parents aren’t a walk in the park either. One thing I have to credit them is that they don’t get intimidated because they, themselves, are intimidating.
My mother lowers her gaze to me, eyeing me like a child. My instincts tell me to avoid her eyes, but I’ve suffered long enough today that my soul refuses to cower. I return my mother’s stare, and I’ll pay for this later. She huffs until she turns to my principal. “Well, go ahead,” she said, waving her hand at him as she sits. “What happened?”
Mr. Dwyer takes a handkerchief and wipes the sweat from his forehead. He apologizes, blaming the Central California heat. I don’t point out that there’s frost outside his window. He composes himself and tugs his well-worn grey blazer that’s a size too big for his thin, wiry body. I glance at my dad as my principal shifts in his chair. My father, who has made-to-measure suits tailored at Savile Row, scans his wrinkled suit with smugness, and I can’t help but roll my eyes at the snobbery.
Mr. Dwyer begins his account of what happened this morning. As the story progresses, I see my mother’s eyes narrow into slits and her elegant fingers dig into the arms of her chair. The indentations on the leather make me think of my skin. When she digs her fingers into my arm, the deep recesses resemble the surface of that leather. My chest tightens as that image reminds me of her capacity to hurt. In just a matter of minutes, she can explode and I’m glad that my principal is here. When he finishes, he looks at my parents with uncertainty.
“So someone violated my daughter’s privacy and now the entire school knows she has schizophrenia?” she said with surprising calmness.
I hold my breath because this coolness is just the calm before the storm. I can tell because despite the control, there’s a nerve that’s throbbing in her neck. It won’t be long before she’ll explode.
“Uh, yes.” Mr. Dwyer rubs his arm. “That is correct.”
Finally, she erupts. She leans forward and slams her hand on the desk, causing my principal to jolt in his seat. “And what have you done to rectify this?” she yells. “Who posted these flyers around the school? You better have conducted a thorough investigation!”
“Now, Mrs. Ligaya,” he says, putting his hands between him and my mother to calm her and to protect himself. “I can’t just go accusing our students without firm evidence. We have begun our interviews to sort this out.”
She leans towards him. “Here’s the plan. We’ll do our own investigation. Our lawyer will contact Glen Park and force them to disclose which of your student they talked to. You better hope you figure out who did this before we do, or I’m coming after you for deliberately stalling to protect certain students. We have no problem pressing charges.”
“Mrs. Ligaya,” he said. “There is no need to threaten. We will do everything in our power to rectify this situation.”
It’s my father’s turn to stand. He places his hand on my mother’s shoulder. “Now, Ella. Relax. You’ll get wrinkles.” Then, he gestures to my principal, his eyes darker than the night as he turns his attention to him. “Do your job or we’ll do it for you. And trust me, you don’t want that.” Then he shifts to my mom. “We’re done here.”
“Let’s go.” My mother straightens her dress, then grabs my elbow, forcing me off my chair and onto my feet.
I follow them with my mother’s fingernails still digging into my skin. I peek behind me. Mr. Dwyer is wiping his forehead again, a worried look written on his face. He’s going to get it.
But my heart stops when my dad opens the door, revealing Julian standing at the opposite side of the doorway.
My parents stand in front of him like the First Lady and the president. Julian blinks upon seeing them, but he straightens his body and tries his best not to falter. They are an imposing couple as my mother stares with disdain while my father looks at him with irritation for blocking his exit.
Julian catches my eye, then his gaze roams to my elbow—held captive by my mother’s talons. He doesn’t react and plasters a bored affect. But his hands betray his feigned indifference as he balls them into fists. I glance at my mom, hoping she doesn’t notice the subtle message coming from Julian’s nonverbal cues. But her attention is directed at me as she glares.
“Does he have anything to do with this?” She tugs my elbow. “Tell me. Are you seeing this boy?”
I wince at her grip, but I muster a response. “No. Of course not.”
I purse my lips. We’re treading on dangerous water here, and my mind whirs. I need to get this under control, but how?
Suddenly, I hear Julian clear his throat. He posts an ill-tempered look and don his infamous asshole face that I haven’t seen in days.
“Look, lady,” he said. “I’m just here coz the principal wanted to interview every goddamn student in school. I got nothing to do with her.”
Mr.Dwyer, overhearing the conversation, intervenes. “Mrs. Ligaya, I called for him as we are now conducting our investigation —something you had vehemently asked for.”
She studies him, glancing up and down to make him feel insignificant. But he holds his ground and keeps his head high. Then, she scoffs and grabs me, pushing me passed him. I pray he doesn’t acknowledge our friendship in his unique way. The best action to protect me is to stay put.
And he does. He remains indifferent and pretends that we have nothing to do with each other.
Shit, what a mess.
Chapter 54
Josephine
My palms slide along the wooden fence that separates Julian’s home from ours. He suggested we meet up at his yard through our secret way. When we were eight, we discovered the partition had three loose boards when Julian leaned on them and fell, landing halfway into his mother’s garden. It was then that he had his bright idea. He used this as our passageway to sneak into each other’s pro
perties. Ten years later, in this moonless night, I’m back, sweeping my hands on the rough surface to find those loose boards that will swing towards the Taylor’s house.
“17… 18… 19… 20,” I count under my breath. My left hand finds the 18th plank and my right the 20th. I push with my arms and body. The panels give in to show Julian’s backyard. As I squeeze through the small entrance, warm hands land on me, and I yelp in surprise as I’m flushed against Julian’s hard chest. His eyes zero into mine with that intense hooded gaze.
“Jules,” I whisper. “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” he said. “I couldn’t wait any longer.”
He leans over and kisses me, his breath warming me from head to toe. I let myself fall into his arms as I wrap my arms around his neck. Suddenly he turns me, switching our positions, so I’m against the fence and completely hidden from view. He presses his body against my feverish one, and I feel his thighs resting on my hips and the ridges of his chiseled stomach through his thin shirt. Then, he sucks on my bottom lip, making my skin sizzle at the sensation. I fantasize on his naked torso, and I imagine something disgusting to squash my scandalous thoughts. Finally, he releases his mouth from mine, sending me a wave of disappointment. He caresses my swollen lips with his thumb and smiles.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about this today,” he said. “11 o’clock couldn’t come soon enough.”
I shift my gaze away as I blush. Julian gently takes my chin and brings it back to him. “Was I moving too fast?”
I shake my head and bite my lip. “I’m still getting used to us. The last time we hung out along this fence, we weren’t exactly sucking face.”
He laughs and caresses my cheek. “But I enjoy this better. I prefer sucking face with you than playing tag.”
I heat. Oh boy, I’m in trouble.
But his focus shifts. He looks at my arm and cocks an eyebrow. Reaching for my zipper, he unzips my sweater. My eyes widen in surprise. “What are you doing? I’m not planning on doing anything with you I’m gonna regret tomorrow.”
He ignores me as he removes my hoodie completely, leaving me in my white tank top. His face changes into a scowl as he registers the large bruise that appeared on my arm. He traces the purple mark on my skin. “I knew it. I hate that she hurts you, Joy. Can you run away and stay with me?”
I shake my head. “Imagine what your parents will say when you make that announcement.”
“Nah, my mom adores you. She’ll be so happy when she finds out we’re together.”
“Yeah, but not as her son’s roommate.”
He gives me a devilish grin. “I’ll be a good boy and remain on my side of the bed.”
“Uh, huh.” I roll my eyes.
He laughs and squeezes my hips. But he turns serious again. “I mean it, Jo. I worry that they’re going to hurt you—seriously this time. We have to plan your great escape.”
“I have four more weeks until I’m eighteen, and I’ve saved up a lot of money. There’s an apartment on the outskirts of Wakefield that rents affordable units. Mama Nilda agreed to put her name on the application for credit. I’ve planned this for years, Jules. I just need to keep my nose clean until then.”
He looks unconvinced. “I feel like shit knowing that it’s happening right next door. I don’t care what they’ll do to me. If I hear you screaming, I’m coming for you.”
I place my hands on his cheeks and kiss the tip of his aquiline nose. “I know you will. But please don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”
He nods. Then, he brings my arm to his lips and gently kisses the bruise, paying attention to it as if willing it to go away. His head shifts and continues to graze my skin as he travels upwards. I bite my lip at the feathery light touch of his mouth going up my arm. When he reaches my shoulder, he nips it and I gasp from my nerve endings shooting electricity throughout my body. I can hear my ragged breathing as he progresses to my neck, kissing and licking it. But when he moves further up and starts sucking my earlobe, I know I’m in trouble.
“Ok, Jules,” I said, tapping his shoulders. “We need to stop.”
“Hmm?” He slides back to my neck.
“We are so not having sleepovers anymore.” I push him away.
He lifts his head and looks at me with hooded eyes. “And what do you think will happen at our sleepovers, Jo?”
I blush. This guy is unbelievable. “I’m not gonna dignify that with an answer.”
He chuckles. “Relax, Joy. I won’t rush you into that. I’ll take your cue when you’re ready.”
“But you’re going to make it hard for me if you get me alone in your room and keep sucking on my earlobes like that.”
He wiggles his eyebrows and grins. I shake my head. Then, I remember something and decide to discuss it with him to reduce the heat between us. “Listen, I have a bomb to drop.”
He raises an eyebrow. “I’m scared. What is it?”
I share Aunt Helen’s true identity and relive what happened yesterday. His eyes widen in shock as the news registers.
“Holy shit, Jo. So, I’ve been jonesing for your mom this whole time? That’s like, having the hots on my future mother-in-law.”
“Really, Jules? That’s what you got out of that?” I roll my eyes. I ignore the fact that he alluded to us getting married in the future.
He chuckles. Then he somber. “In all seriousness, though, why don’t you move in with her? As much as I want you close to me, I care about your safety. And don’t worry, I’ll drive anywhere to be with you. Trust me, you’ll see me often.”
“I can’t, Jules. She’s too far. I prefer to finish senior year here.”
He nods. For a minute, he says nothing. Finally, he breaks his silence. “Forgive her, Jo. There’s gotta be a good reason she didn’t tell you the truth.”
I avoid his gaze.
“And frankly,” he continues. “She’s the lesser of two evils. She genuinely loves you and will never intentionally hurt you. Talk to her and find out exactly what happened.”
Considering these current events, I could use a loving maternal figure right now. But then, I still have Mama Nilda, so I don’t need her, do I? I sigh. I don’t know what to do.
“Don’t think too hard, babe,” said Julian, chuckling. Then he wraps his arms around my waist and leans his forehead on mine. “Now, where were we?” His voice low and gravelly.
I laugh, but it’s interrupted when he slams his lips onto mine, melting me into a puddle of goo. His kisses take me to a state of euphoria, making them better than my spliff. As he brings me back to another session of passionate lip locking, I wish that this moment could last forever.
***
My mother remains on the phone while driving me to school the next day. She drops me off without so much as a nod. I twirl around to face the campus, and I fidget on my heels from the trauma of yesterday. A flowery scent reaches my nostrils and my heart stops as Alexa comes to mind. I spin around as I worry that she’s back. The girl from my physics class passes me and allows me to catch a whiff of her perfume. I shake my head as I realize Alexa is not the culprit this time, and the floral notes are products of someone’s manufactured fragrance. A surprising wave of disappointment hits me, and I bury my shameful wish that it had been my ghost friend. In a weird way, her presence, though nebulous, would’ve comforted me when I enter these crazy hallways alone. But I gather myself and walk to my locker. As soon as I turn the corner, I hear a familiar voice, a cheery one, and it makes me smile.
“Hey girl!” says Dee. She jogs to me in her tight, black jumpsuit and Air Force Ones. Her lovely face a warm welcome in this bleak, frosty morning. “What do you say we head inside and fight our detractors like Bonnie and Clyde?”
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