I turn over, watching Caleb as he sleeps beside me in my bed. I don’t sleep as well as I do at his apartment, but for the first night, it went as well as I could have expected. My eyes are fixed on his chiseled face, most of it hidden by a mass of facial hair. Then an idea hits me. I quietly pull back the covers, tiptoeing almost silently out of the room, hoping to not disturb Caleb. I walk into the adjoining bathroom, searching through the cabinet. I know they’re in here somewhere. I stand as tall as possible, feeling around on the top shelf that I can’t quite see.
“Ah ha,” I whisper-sing. I grab hold of the scissors and a comb. I turn, making my way out and back into the bedroom to find Caleb stretching out, his rolled up fist rubbing his eyes.
“The bed’s cold without you.” He smirks the sexiest smirk I’ve ever seen.
“I had an idea.” I smile, holding the scissors up in my hand.
“Not sure I like the look of this.” He yawns before sitting up straight.
“Well, I know you said a few times you need a haircut. And I also know that’s your idea of hell. So, why not let me do it?” I ask, sitting down beside him, excited that I might actually be able to do something for him for a change.
“Sure.” He shrugs. Really? It was that easy?
“Even the beard. I mean, I do love it, but it’s way overdue for a trim.”
“Okay.” He smiles, throwing back the sheets and maneuvering until he’s sitting beside me on the bed. I can’t help but glance down at his morning wood straining in his pants. My eyes flick up and I see him looking at me. I swallow down hard, trying to keep my nerves at bay. But I already feel the familiar build between my legs. I want him to touch me, make me feel complete again. I swear, the way he makes me feel, the way my soul comes alive, it’s a feeling I’ll never forget. Impulsively, I stretch one leg over him, straddling him on the edge of the bed. Reaching up, I scrape my fingers through his thick brown locks. I feel his straining erection against my bed shorts.
“Yes,” I say almost breathlessly. “We really need to do something about this.” I can’t help but press against him, my sex already pulsating with desire. I feel so turned on by him and I’m not even sure why. Maybe the chemistry is different between us now that neither of us is fighting it.
“We really do,” he breathes, his eyes full of lust and want. Wrapping his strong arms around me, he pulls me closer to the warmth of his body. His lips brush against mine. The slightest of contact causes electricity to course through me. Caleb’s touch removes any traces of Ryan on me. The warmth of him, the gentle possessiveness enough for me to keep coming back for more.
“Do you want me?” he asks, his voice scratchy and filled with desire.
“So bad,” I whisper, rocking back and forth on his dick. “Touch me,” I say, almost begging. He grabs the hem of my top, pulling it over my head effortlessly. His warm finger trails the side of my body before landing on the seam of my bra. Hooking in a finger, he swiftly pulls it down, exposing me. I exhale loudly as he runs his thumb over my swollen nipple. He dips his head, running his tongue over and taking it in his mouth. I drop my head back, feeling the evidence of my excitement between my legs. I never thought I’d feel this way after the rape, but the pain and anguish is replaced by the purest of ecstasy. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of feeling this way with Caleb.
His head appears in front of me and I whimper at the loss of contact. “So beautiful,” he whispers, his finger running across my cheekbone. I lean into his silk like touch, my heart hammering against my chest.
I smile, nodding before standing up in front of him and removing every item of clothing I have on. His eyes widen and his head drops forward, resting against my stomach. My sex clenches as he starts to kiss me, working his way lower. He slides from the bed until he’s on the floor. Reaching for my ankle, he props it on the edge of the bed, exposing me. His head is right between my legs. The pulsating of my desire has already begun, excitement thrashing through me. His palm splays against my ass, pulling me to him. I jerk at the contact of him against my swollen clit. Resting my hand on his shoulder, I steady myself as I feel the weakness in my legs. My whole body shakes at the intensity of his warm tongue against my most sensitive part. The licks turn to sucks, as his fingers enter me. I let my body move against his fingers as I feel myself on the cusp of release.
“Oh god,” I breathe. “I’m so close.”
“Not yet,” he growls and before I know, it he’s on his feet in front of me. He leans in, kissing me with need, before pulling me into his hold until my feet are no longer on the floor. I kiss him back, wrapping my legs around his waist. He walks us forward until my back is against the cold wall.
“Hold on,” he groans, taking his cock in his hand and lining it up with my entrance. He works it up and down my folds, spreading me before plunging in. I let out a moan as my desire trickles between my legs. His thrusts come faster as he pounds harder. My back moves against the wall behind me. I can’t get enough of him. Each thrust more satisfying than the last. I clutch onto his hair, pulling his head back until our eyes meet. We watch one another, neither one of us breaking the connection. I’m close to the edge, each movement pushing me closer. Tightening my legs in response to the intensity, I’m suddenly overcome as my orgasm grips me.
My muscles contract. The pulsating is fierce and ripping every ounce of strength I have. I fall forward, burying my head into the crook of his neck. Caleb thrusts a few more times, with more force than before. He suddenly stills and I feel the swell of him inside me. A growl leaves him as he quickly turns back toward the bed, dropping us both down.
“Fuck, you’re amazing,” he says, trying to catch his breath. His heart pounds against me, his sweat covered skin touching mine.
“You’re the amazing one,” I declare, brushing the fallen strands away from his face. “I thought my chances of finding love had been lost the minute I was violated. I never thought I would be able to feel this way again.” I sigh.
“Love?” he questions, his eyes narrowing. “You think you love me?” he asks. His eyes almost shut from his brow being drawn in so much.
My throat becomes dry as I realize what I’ve just revealed. I couldn’t go back on it. I have to own it now that I’ve said it. I’m scared. What if he runs in the opposite direction? “I do love you,” I say with absolute certainty. “Does that scare you? Because it sure as hell scares me,” I admit, my voice quivering as the nervous energy rages through me.
“Like you wouldn’t fucking believe,” he says his voice wavering. He reaches his shaking hand out to take hold of mine.
“Why?” I ask.
He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling in response. “No one’s ever said those three words to me before. I’m not sure I even know what it means.”
“Believe me when I say I’ve never used those words with a guy before. I never had parents who said it to me either.”
“So how do you know for sure that’s what you feel?” he asks, his face full of confusion.
“Because I more than like you.” I smile widely. Resting my hand against his face, I pull his gaze to mine. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I feel lost when you’re not here. My heart beats at a pace I’ve never even experienced. And I can’t imagine my life without you.” Moving our hands that are together, I place them palm to palm. “Fits perfectly.”
“So it does.” He smiles, letting his eyes flutter shut. “I more than like you a lot, too,” he says with the most beautiful smile.
***
“Well, I’m pleased with that,” I say, stepping back a little to admire my own handy work.
Caleb holds the small mirror in front of him. “Looks good,” he says shrugging his shoulders before standing up shaking the loose hair onto the floor.
I walk around until I’m right in front of him. “Good?” I draw out the word, folding my arms across my chest. “You look better than just good.” His hair is shorter, but not too short. The mass has gone and the lon
g strands no longer fall on his face. The beard is trimmed back to more of a stubble, but it really does suit him. It highlights his structured cheekbones and jawline. Underneath that whole disguise is the most breathtakingly handsome man I’ve ever seen. I’m so happy to call him mine.
“When was the last time you actually saw your face?” I chuckle, using my hand to carefully brush off the loose hairs on his jaw.
“It’s been a while.” He smiles widely and I can actually see a set of dimples that were hidden before.
“You have the cutest little dimples,” I tease, pinching his cheek playfully.
“Jeez, this gets worse,” he retorts with a grin.
A sudden knock at the door causes me to jump. Unexpected noises create anxiety within me ever since the assault. I look at the door and back to Caleb.
“Josh,” he mouths. “I’ll go get it, don’t worry.” He plants a kiss on my cheek and I pull back, flicking off the hairs that I feel on my face.
“Well I’ll be fucking damned,” Josh roars, taking Caleb into a man hug. “You look like a different person.”
“Right,” I say loudly. “I was just saying this to him.” He walks over to me, hugging me tightly. He separates and he looks around the room.
“This looks cozy.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Boys did good, right?”
“So good,” I agree. “I don’t know how I can ever repay you both for all of your hard work.”
“I’m going to shower,” Caleb shouts at us. I smile, nodding before he turns, padding out of the room.
Josh takes my hand, pulling me over to the couch, before sitting me down beside him. “How are you really? It can’t be easy being here, where it happened, you know?”
“It’s easier than I expected, but I’m not ready to be here on my own.”
His eyes widen. “You two are practically inseparable.” He tilts his head, pressing his lips into a fine line.
I clutch my fist to my chest. “I’m so lucky to have him.”
“So, it’s serious between you two then?” he questions.
“I love him, Josh,” I declare, no longer denying what my heart has been telling me for such a long time.
“I know.” He nods. “I’ve known longer than you have, I think. Or at least longer than you’ve been able to admit it.”
I reach out, brushing against his arm. “You two are like family to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you both.”
“I don’t know what you’d do either,” he jokes, pushing his tongue against his cheek. “So back to college tomorrow?” he asks, changing the subject.
I let my head fall. “Truth be told, I’m dreading it.”
“You can do it,” he says, his voice upbeat. “You’re tough. If anyone can, you can.”
“I have to try.” I smile, feeling my hands tremble as I rest them on my lap. I have to face the fear. I have to get the last piece of my life back.
I lean over Caleb to hit the snooze on the alarm. Truth is, I’ve been lying awake for the last hour and a half, the nervous anticipation disrupting my sleep. I lean over, kissing him lightly on the cheek before climbing out of bed, and making my way into the shower. I stand under the stream of water, hoping and wishing for it to take away the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. My head thuds from lack of sleep. I tilt my head back, allowing the warm stream to trickle over my face. But it doesn’t help. I quickly wash my hair, hitting the faucet off in frustration. I step out, my knees feeling weak as I reach for a towel. I bend forward, wrapping it around my hair and head out to make coffee.
Yeah, that’s what I need right now. Coffee. I make my way into the kitchen, filling the coffee pot, and wait. I hear quiet footsteps behind me and turn around to see Caleb walking toward me.
“You didn’t have to get up.” I kiss him delicately on the lips.
“Sure I did.” He yawns. “I’ll take you in.”
“No need. Honestly. I like the idea of having my car there so I can leave at any time. You know, if it becomes too much.”
He nods, stepping closer, until his body presses against mine. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“No, I’m not ready.” I shake my head. “But I’ve already missed so much and since I moved part way through the year, I have even more to catch up on.”
He wraps his arms around my slender waist, picking me up and placing me on the counter. “Well, you could always hide out here with me today.” His smirk highlights his previously hidden dimples and my heart accelerates.
“Believe me, there’s nothing more I’d rather be doing, but no.” I chuckle. “I have to go in today.”
“Then I’m coming with you,” he says. The look he gives me sets me on fire.
“What do you mean, coming with me?” I ask, curiously.
“I’m coming to make sure you get there okay, then I’ll run back to the apartment. Kill two birds with one stone.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s a pretty long way to run.”
“I need to keep in shape,” he replies. “Because the way you make my heart beat makes me feel like I’m going to have a damn coronary.”
I let out a puff of laughter before leaning in and touching his lips lightly with my own. I nip and tug at his bottom lip, taking it in and sucking it gently. He lets out an involuntary low moan and I can’t help but laugh a little more, kissing him over and over.
“Not helping, Amber.” He chortles. “Go get ready. I’ll bring you your coffee.” I kiss him lightly one final time and jump down from the counter, making my way into the bedroom.
I throw on something suitable. The last thing I want to do is give the wrong impression. Like I asked for what happened to me. Because I know that’s exactly what people will think if I wear something they deem too revealing. That I asked for this. I shudder, taking a deep breath, trying to stop my mind from racing with a thousand irrational thoughts. I grab my comb, working it through my damp hair when suddenly my phone starts vibrating on the nightstand. I reach over, seeing Lily’s name flashing on the screen. I smile to myself as I answer her call.
“Hey, Lil. What’s up?”
“Where are you?” she whispers.
“I’m at my apartment,” I reply. “Why are you whispering?” I ask, finding it odd.
“Are you alone?”
“No, why?” I ask. “Caleb’s here. I can’t face being on my own.”
She sighs. “You’re coming in today, right?”
“Yeah. I’m getting ready now.”
“Great. I’ll wait for you by the entrance.”
“Okay, see you then,” I say, ending the call.
“Well that was weird,” I mutter to myself, continuing to comb my hair. Caleb appears in the doorway, holding a mug of coffee in his hand. He places it down on the dresser in front of me.
‘Thank you,’ I mouth, blowing him a kiss. His mouth twinges at the corner and the sweetest understated smile appears before he turns on his heel and makes his way into the bathroom.
By the time I finish drying and straightening my hair, Caleb appears, freshly showered and wearing his running gear. I study him for a second and realize he’s wearing the exact same clothing he had on that day I accidently hit him with the door. I smile to myself at the memory.
“Something funny?” he asks, raising one of his brows.
“That outfit brings back memories.” I roll my lips together, trying to fight back the laughter. He shakes his head, walking out of the bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed, my heart fluttering knowing the only reason I wake up smiling is because of this man. This wonderful, mysterious man, that I more than like. I look down at my phone, checking the time. “Shit,” I whisper to myself, realizing I should’ve left the apartment already. I grab my phone and backpack before heading out to find Caleb.
“Ready?” I ask, bending down and slipping on my pumps.
“When you are,” he answers.
We race out of the apartment, jump in the car, and make our way toward the college. I c
lutch the steering wheel tightly, occasionally tapping it as my nerves edge their way to the surface. Caleb rests his hand on my leg and I know it’s his way of trying to comfort me. I turn, meeting his beautiful eyes. They catch the sunlight and the grey appears lighter. Almost the lightest kind of blue. It takes all of me to tear my eyes away and focus back on the road. I can’t fight the smile that spreads knowing he will be there when I finish school today. Knowing he’s waiting for me. Wanting me as much as I want him.
We pull in the parking lot and I instantly see Lily dashing over to us. I cut the engine and place my hand over Caleb’s. “Thank you for coming.” I smile, leaning and kissing him lightly. I feel a pang of electricity deep in my stomach. I won’t ever tire of feeling this way with him.
“Anytime, Am.” He smiles, releasing his belt and stepping from the car. I follow his lead and see Lily now standing beside the vehicle.
“Hey,” I say with a smile. I turn to see Caleb already jogging away, waving back at me. I clutch my bag against my chest as I watch him take off into the distance.
“Am I glad to see you,” Lily says, her hand landing on my forearm, gripping it tightly. “You have to come with me, now,” she says with a panic to her voice.
“Lily, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me,” I say, snatching my arm from her grasp.
“I have something to show you,” she says. Her eyes are wide as she points toward the college building. She stands there looking at me, waiting for me to say something, but I don’t have a clue what the hell is going on.
“I have to get to my lecture,” I dismiss her, walking off in the direction of the entrance. I turn, looking over my shoulder, to say, “Whatever it is can wait. I’ve missed way too much already.”
“Stop,” she yells. Her tone stops me in my tracks.
“What?” I shout back. “What the hell is so important?”
She walks the few steps toward me, resting her hands on my folded arms. “It’s Caleb.” She sighs and my stomach sinks.
Burn with me Page 21
