What a mess she had made of her life! Since she didn’t have a mother to do it for her, Ella berated herself for falling too easily into bed with a man who was so far out of her reach. It was almost as stupid as falling hopelessly in love with him.
Twelve
Frannie was duly appalled at the lack of variety on her shopping foray into small-town America. As Ella had predicted, their persnickety visitor found nothing in Lander or nearby Riverton properly suitable, by which she meant extravagantly exclusive, for her niece’s and nephew’s grand entrance into society. Ella was tempted to tell her that “coming out” in Wyoming generally meant donning insulated boots when the year’s first snow flew, but she doubted Frannie would appreciate her rustic sense of humor. The very thought of driving two hundred miles to the nearest mall in Casper was enough to make the poor woman very nearly choke on her morning toast.
“You’ve got to be kidding!”
“I’m sure the thought of traveling such a distance with little but sagebrush between here and there is daunting to a city girl such as yourself,” Hawk replied sympathetically. “If I didn’t have to fly back to Chicago to personally hammer out a persistent problem that unfortunately requires my immediate attention, I would be glad to drive you there myself.”
Frannie blanched. Ella wondered if it was from the thought of having to spend time alone with her and the children, but Hawk put his finger on the real reason.
“I promise to be back in time for the big bash,” he assured her. He then took a moment to express his gratitude that he had been blessed with two such trustworthy adults with whom to leave his children while he attended to business. After his initial experience in single parenting, it wasn’t something he was likely to take for granted ever again.
Somewhat mollified by his sincere appreciation, Frannie volunteered to drop Hawk off at the airport on her way out of town. Ella was relieved that her presence was not requested on this shopping expedition, one she anticipated would reach epic proportions and necessitate at least one night’s accommodations at some ritzy hotel. Honestly, the thought of being alone for a couple of days without having to take care of anyone but herself sounded quite heavenly. She could certainly use the time to catch up on her own projects and possibly even get up the courage to submit her latest story to a publisher. Working with the children had indeed spurred her imagination, and she felt good about her most recent project. Not that one more rejection in a lifetime of them would likely kill her.
An added benefit of everyone being gone at the same time was that it would give Ella time to have her hair professionally cut and styled in time for the big do. The salary Hawk was paying her certainly afforded her such a common luxury. Not to mention that the excuse of a party in which she secretly hoped to wow the man was all the reason she really needed to splurge a little. She knew that Phoebe, who so often chided her friend on her ascetic attitude, would be proud of her for taking such measures to advance her cause with the man she loved.
Luckily, as much as she personally disliked Frannie, Ella wasn’t worried about the children’s welfare while in her care. As far as she could tell, their aunt’s affection for them was as genuine as her feelings for Hawk. In an atmosphere where somebody else was being paid to cater to Frannie’s every whim, Ella was certain that they would all have great fun together. Though Billy was sure to enjoy the hotel’s swimming pool more than the shopping expedition, she knew he would go along with whatever his aunt requested of him if only to please her.
What Ella herself would have given to have had such a colorful fairy godmother-type relative as a child! She wouldn’t dare interfere with the very special bond Billy and Sarah had with their aunt, particularly given the fact that they had lost their mother and this woman was one of the few remaining links to her memory.
So it was that Ella found herself more resentful of Hawk’s leaving than of Frannie’s imminent departure. It would have been altogether obvious to anyone except Hawk himself that his sister-in-law was doing everything in her power to keep him so busy loading the car that he didn’t have a chance to say his private goodbyes to Ella. When he was done, Frannie ushered him pell-mell out the door. Ella barely had time to bid the children farewell before the door shut behind them. Hearing Hawk’s BMW sports car start up made Ella feel interminably melancholy.
Wouldn’t he have made up some excuse to see her alone before leaving if she meant anything at all to him?
How very quiet it suddenly was with nothing but the sound of her lonely heartbeat and the ticking of the grandfather clock against the wall to fill the silence. Used to living in solitude for so much of her life, Ella was surprised how, without warning, it unnerved her. Sinking into the custom-made leather couch in the living room, she hugged a pillow to her chest and allowed herself a rare moment of self-pity.
“I miss you already.”
The sound of that voice was unmistakable as it settled over Ella like a net from which she sought no escape. She snapped her head up to see Hawk standing in the living room door. Ella doubted whether even the pillow clutched over her heart could stifle the pounding rhythm of its beat. Hawk looked so strong and invincible leaning against the doorjamb that it evoked images of Hercules holding up the temple walls. It was all she could do to refrain from launching herself into his arms like the fool she was.
Surely those walls would crumble around them if she dared.
“I’ve been missing you,” Ella pointedly replied.
She was, of course, referring to the fact that they had barely had a single moment together since Frannie had landed in the middle of Hawk’s home like a human tornado. Giving voice to that resentment made Ella somehow sound more composed than she really felt.
“You didn’t think I’d leave without saying goodbye, did you?”
A couple of long strides ate up the distance between them. Ella was on her feet and in Hawk’s arms before either of them knew what hit them. His lips were a crushing force that reclaimed that which he took as his own. As starved for her touch as she for his, he ran his fingers through her hair and murmured soft words into their tangled tresses. Hawk held her like he never wanted to let her go, and she clung to him as if letting go would be a flagrant act of self-destruction. Wanting her to know exactly what effect she had upon him, he allowed his hands to travel the length of her body, cupping her rounded bottom and pulling her to him.
Ella groaned. She had worried that he had somehow managed to forget her. Proof otherwise lay in the depths of a pair of dove-gray eyes in which the flame of desire burned away remaining clouds of doubt. Ella may not have his heart unto herself, but at the moment she was certain that she had all of his very masculine attention.
“I don’t want to leave,” he told her.
“Then don’t go.”
Hawk moaned. “Don’t tempt me.”
He emphasized the plea by pulling her even closer to him. The sound of that deep voice applied so softly to her heart rumbled inside Ella, playing her like a native drum stretched ever so tautly. What a savage beat it struck inside her soul! That his strength was tempered by gentleness made Ella want to do something quite foreign to her nature. It made her want to throw her hard-fought independence to the wind and rely on him forever.
The noise of persistent honking outside caused Ella to jump in Hawk’s arms. He swore softly under his breath. Ella had no doubt who was responsible for such rude behavior. Frannie could blame it on the children’s impatience all she wanted, but Ella knew exactly what that woman was up to. In fact, the only thing that surprised her at all was that Frannie had allowed Hawk back into the house without trailing a half a step behind him.
Hawk kissed her goodbye and left her with a sad, haunting smile. Just a moment ago he had ravaged her mouth as if plundering her very soul. This parting kiss was its exact opposite. So tender was this meeting of lips that Ella almost wondered if she had imagined it. A butterfly lights no less gently than this kiss which settled so briefly upon her lips. Ella felt Ha
wk’s breath enter her body and imagined this was the way Eve felt when first given life.
When Ella opened her eyes, he was gone. She felt incomplete, as if he had taken the best part of her with him. Running the tip of her index finger across her lips, she spoke to the spirit that he had left behind.
“I love you….”
The sound of her whisper echoing off the walls of the empty house was so disturbing that she reached for the one thing that never failed to give her comfort in her aloneness: her painting. Ella turned on some soothing music and allowed it to flow over and into her as she set her easel upon the deck. By the time the light was draining out of the sky and pooling in glorious colors along the horizon, she felt rejuvenated. Putting a hand to the middle of her back, she stretched her muscles.
Upon her easel sat a powerful painting that actually took her by surprise. In the act of immersing herself in the creative process, she had lost herself for the better part of the afternoon, leaving her looking at her own work as if it had been wrought by someone else entirely. It was a definite departure from her more whimsical renderings, this portrait of her lover in which his body was merged with that of a magnificent bird of prey, his namesake the red-tailed hawk. In a manner reminiscent of the crucifixion, a man’s strong arms held the bird’s wings aloft. Wounds inflicted by predators scarred his magnificent body glistening with sweat. The painting had such a potent effect upon the beholder that one was tempted to step away from the painting for fear of being seized by those massive claws and swept far, far away by a wingspan that covered the entire canvas.
Upon closer inspection, the creature’s haunting eyes drew near the onlooker. They were as gray-blue as the sky holding him aloft and so piercing that one could almost believe they could see what was hidden within one’s heart. There was also something vulnerable glistening in them that elicited a desire to embrace this creature and fly off with him to a more spiritual plane. Somehow Ella had managed to capture the man, the beast and his soul on canvas.
It was the most sensual piece of work she had ever created. Ella longed to touch her lips to those still wet from the finishing touches of her paintbrush. So pleased was she by the result of her efforts that she celebrated by pouring herself a glass of wine and enjoying the lingering light of sunset in the silent company of her masterwork. It was, she decided, far too special to be subjected to other’s eyes just yet. Experience taught her that she was not a particularly objective judge of her own work, especially so soon upon completion. Nor did she want to chance Hawk seeing himself through her eyes. It would give him far too much power over her.
Frannie was sure to realize that a woman in love had painted this picture. Recognizing the passion in her strokes, she would likely offer to buy it—regardless of price. Ella smiled as she carefully took the painting off its easel. There wasn’t enough money in the world to make her part with this particular portrait. It was going where she was heading in hopes of feeling less alone for the night: hung safe and sound above her old feather bed where the lingering smells and visual reminders of the man were less likely to rob her of any sleep than in his own home.
Frannie returned from Casper late the following day loaded down with packages and eager to get started on her plans for the upcoming party. For once she seemed more than happy to let Ella take care of the children while she focused her considerable energy into tormenting the florist, the caterer, the cleaning staff, the valets, the waiters and the musicians, all of whom she’d hired for the party scheduled for the coming Saturday night. When Hawk called to say that he would be detained for a couple of days, she pursed her lips in consternation then sighed with relief at his renewed promise to be back by the end of the week.
Frannie was so busy making arrangements that she scarcely had time to demand that Ella cater to her special needs twenty-four hours a day. Ella was glad to cut the woman wide berth in Hawk’s absence. A virtual whirlwind of activity, Frannie was definitely in her element as a social director. Ella couldn’t help but admire her organizational abilities and notice the spot of color in her pale cheeks placed there by her excitement at the task at hand. It went through her mind that a man of Hawk’s standing was truly better suited to a woman like Frannie who knew how to advance him socially rather than someone like her who was just glad to be left alone to tend to the children and enjoy her own fertile imagination.
Indeed, swimming and fishing down in the quiet pools by the apple trees was far more to her liking. Ella was far more comfortable with a worn storybook, her art supplies and a picnic basket full of finger foods than she could ever be planning some stuffy coterie. The more Frannie fluttered around making a big deal out of the tiniest details, the more uncomfortable Ella became with the idea of putting in an appearance at the party herself. The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass herself—or, God forbid, Hawk—at a function that was clearly so important to his standing in the community. Indeed, having grown up in the area, Ella full well knew how much some people set store in the political and historical ties of its residents. As much as it helped, money alone couldn’t buy one’s way into the inner circle of the town’s gentry.
What had initially sounded like such fun was starting to sound like a trial by fire. Ella figured if she could just make an appearance in her beautiful new dress, impress Hawk with her sudden savoir faire, and sneak in a couple of dances with him without making any terrible social transgressions in conversing with some ambassador or another, she would count the night a success. She was glad Phoebe would be there to offer her support. Hopefully Frannie wouldn’t have a conniption fit when the gorgeous blonde arrived and presented the gilded invitation Ella had sneaked out of the stack and mailed herself. With myriad guests invited, she hoped Frannie wouldn’t notice one way or the other. Not that Phoebe was one to fade into the woodwork. Ella knew for a fact that her dear friend was pinning her hopes on finding a suitably rich, handsome man for herself at this shindig.
When the big day arrived at last with no sign of Hawk by early afternoon, Frannie grew frantic. Obviously this party was far more to her than a simple housewarming celebration. It seemed to encompass her expectations in the most tangible of ways. Wisely, everyone stayed out of Frannie’s way. Maintaining that they would need all their energy for the party, Ella put Billy and Sarah down for a long nap before proceeding to try something different with her hair. The beautician’s cut made it lay nice about her shoulders and shaped it around her face in a flattering style, but for tonight, Ella wanted something that made her look less like the girl next door and more like the mature woman she was.
Wrinkling her nose at the freckles she saw reflected in the mirror, she pulled her thick mane of hair up and away from her face. The hairdresser had showed her how to fashion a sophisticated upswept style. She also sold Ella a fake pearl-encrusted comb that took only a little expertise to master. When Ella was done, she pulled a few stray locks from confinement and fashioned a half dozen romantic ringlets about her face. She hoped the effect would be more dramatic once she changed out of her bibbed jean overalls and white T-shirt.
She took her dress out of the closet and gently tore away the paper wrapper that protected it. Holding her breath as if worried that the gown had somehow lost its appeal since she had first tried it on, Ella broke into a smile to rediscover the loveliest article of clothing she had ever owned. She dressed carefully, taking her time in fastening every single pearl button along the sides of the garment. The deep green print accentuated the color of her eyes, and the lace flounce added just the right romantic element to what might otherwise be a rather unassuming dress.
Ella lightly dusted her freckles with powder in hopes of making them disappear, tried lengthening her eyelashes with mascara and artfully applied a frosted pink lipstick the color of cotton candy. When she finished, Ella twirled around in front of her full-length mirror like she might have as a child had anyone ever bought her such pretty clothes for the birthday parties to which she wasn’t invited.
She stared at herself for a moment as if looking at a stranger. Why, she actually looked pretty! The figure she had always considered too rounded did not at all look plump in the folds of a dress designed to show off a woman’s natural curves. Ella’s green eyes were aglow with excitement. Her gown may not be the most expensive or trendy at the party, but it certainly did flatter her. Indeed, it was a far cry from the outfit she’d worn the first day she had met Hawk. In fact, with the clothes she’d bought at his insistence, she’d relegated that faded, old garment to the trash bin.
A spot of perfume at her wrists and she was ready to face the world. She woke the children and bid them don their own party clothes. Sarah could barely contain her excitement, but Billy balked. Ella could see why once she got a good look at the outfit his aunt had picked out for him. He looked rather like Little Lord Fauntleroy in his blue velvet britches with a white lace hanky poking out of his pocket. It matched Sarah’s dress, and truly the two of them made an adorable picture. Nonetheless, poor Billy feared he would have to fight every boy in the vicinity once they got a gander at what he classified as “sissy clothes.” Though Ella suspected he was right, she wasn’t about to broach the subject with his aunt. Not when she was already so riled up about how late Hawk was.
The opening of the front door brought a sigh of relief to everyone who heard it. It seemed Hawk was home at last.
“Daddy!” cried the children, vaulting out of their respective rooms and burnishing the banister with the seats of their matching velvet togs.
Ella followed. Standing at the top of the grand stairway, she watched Hawk embrace his children. He hugged them as if he hadn’t seen them for years and tossed them into the air to make them squeal in delight. The sight made Ella’s heart swell and her eyes grow misty. Surely, this man who had given up so much by moving here for his children had gained more than the world could count in gold coins locked in any of its vaults. She wondered if his wife had appreciated the treasure she had in the father of their children and felt sorry that the dead woman was missing out on such beautiful sights.
Wyoming Cinderella (Silhouette Desire) Page 14
