by Tina Sears
“But what about New Girl here?” Julie asked.
“We don’t know her,” Freckles said. He turned and spit in disapproval.
“We should still let them stay,” Reds baseball guy said.
“Okay then.” Julie puffed up and looked at us. “If you want to stay, you guys have to swim out to Slippery Rock.”
I looked out at the rock. The distance to swim out to it seemed impossible. The sun made the river look like a thousand stars dancing on top of it. I heard birds chirping and I wished I could fly away home.
“Swim, swim, swim . . .” Julie started chanting.
A few seconds later, the boys chimed in. All but Reds. The chorus became louder. “Swim, swim, swim . . .”
I looked nervously at my cousin who was looking back at me, equally nervous. The chorus got louder. “Swim, swim, swim . . .”
“I can’t swim,” Wendy said above the chanting.
Julie gave me The Evil Eye. “Then you swim for the both of you, New Girl.”
“Yeah, New Girl, you swim for the both of you,” Freckles said, looking at the shoe nailed to the tree, then at me. “If you want to stay.”
I was tired of this bull, tired of feeling left out, too shy to make very many friends. Tired of worrying about my mother all the time. I looked at Wendy with her lopsided ears, knowing that she was pinning all her hopes on me. I had nothing to lose so I studied the water as they continued chanting.
I walked to the riverbed and studied the black water. The river was swollen with rain and the constant up and down motion made it look like it was breathing. Wendy followed me.
“Don’t do it,” she said. We were far enough away from the group that I was sure they couldn’t hear. I heard her say the words, but her eyes were saying something else entirely.
I looked away and kicked off my flip flops and walked to the river’s edge and stopped when I felt something slimy under my foot. A dead fish stared up at me with its eye, unfocused and glazed over. Disgusted, I pushed further into the water, trying to shake the image.
I swam across the current diagonally toward Slippery Rock. The further I swam, the more I could feel the world changing. And not in a good way.
The water’s flow carried me toward the rock and the cold made my muscles tighten. I thought of winning the first place ribbon in the butterfly stroke for my swim team last summer, and pride surged through me.
A few minutes later, my lungs began to burn. The current was going faster than I could motor across it. I swam harder, but my muscles tired and I let the current carry me. I had miscalculated. The force of the water pulled me under. It felt like giant hands were forcing me down and I couldn’t break free. I wasn’t going to make it. The water closed in around me. A glimmer of light filtered down through the murky water, then grew dark.
Under water, the river cut through me, pushing me farther from the rock. I had experience swimming in a pool where the water was clear and there was no current. But in this smelly, muddy water with the rushing current, I had no strategy to survive.
I kept sinking but just as I began to panic, my feet hit bottom. I pushed off with everything I had.
When I surfaced, I swam harder, the river threatening to pull me under again. Now I was past the rock and had to swim with twice as much effort against the flow. I struggled toward the rock but my wet clothes stuck to me, hindering my efforts. I tried to scream for help, but water rushed into my mouth. I know my scream drowned before it reached shore.
I heard a whisper inside of me. “Be brave.” It was something my mother always said to me, especially after my dad left. I blocked out the pain from my burning muscles and swam toward Slippery Rock. I knew if I didn’t make it to the rock, I didn’t have a chance.
I filled my lungs with air, which helped me float. I put one arm out in front of the other and kicked my feet, closing the distance between me and the rock.
Finally the massive rock plunged up from the bottom like the wrinkled palm of a giant’s hand, saving me from the river. The surface was covered with tiny hairs of moss dancing with the current, making it slippery. I couldn’t get a grip. Lord help me. Then, as if in answer to my prayer, I felt a little crevice and pulled myself onto its surface.
Listening to the chattering rush of water across the rock, I looked over at the shore. Julie stood with her hands crossed against her chest. In contrast, my cousin was jumping up and down, screaming, and the boys were all waving me in. I could barely make out the group from my vantage point but I knew who was who from their clothing.
I raised one hand up in the air, triumphantly waving to the group while holding onto the rock for dear life with the other. I was stuck in the middle of the river, alone. Abandoned.
I forced a smile at the irony of it. I rested a few minutes, filling my lungs with deep breaths of air, letting my muscles relax.
“C’mon,” the wind delivered. “C’mon, New Girl,” Julie said, waving me in with the others.
I don’t know why, but when I saw her waving me in, I wanted to scream at her for challenging me, but at the same time I wanted to prove to that stuck-up pretty bitch that I could do it. So I released my grip and jumped into the water with a battering jolt. My lungs emptied on impact. I lifted my arms out of the water while kicking my feet, sucking in a huge breath when I felt how cold the water was. I tried to swim toward the group, but the current took me down river. I closed my eyes and just kept swimming toward shore, praying that I would make it back alive.
Finally I reached land and collapsed on the riverbed, breathing frantically. Mud squished between my fingers as I tried to push myself up but my muscles were shaking. The wind brushed over my wet clothes, sending a chill down my back.
Everyone except Julie rushed over to me and helped me away from the riverbed back to the clearing. But I saw something in her expression like I had impressed her.
“I thought you were a goner!” Wendy said, smiling so wide her eyes almost disappeared above her cheeks.
I bent over and coughed up muddy water, happy that I survived.
“How did you do that?” Reds asked.
“Good job,” Owl said.
I stood up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Mom always told me that winning wasn’t everything. I disagreed. At this moment, with everyone surrounding me, winning felt like everything.
Julie sauntered over to me, breaking through the group. “That was a stupid move, New Girl. I can’t believe you did it.”
“Well, you shouldn’t make stupid challenges like that then,” I said, staring into her eyes. Whatever her next move was, I knew I would be ready this time.
Julie sat down on a log and lit a cigarette in a practiced motion. “Wendy, what’s your friend’s name?”
“She’s my cousin Chris.”
Julie drew on her cigarette, sizing me up. “I’m Julie.” Then she pointed to the blond guy. “And that’s Tommy.”
He smiled and nodded.
“Hi,” I said, trying to be cool. I hope they didn’t notice that my voice shot up a bit.
“That’s Billy behind us,” she said, pointing to Freckles. The sun shone high behind him, isolating each red hair on his head. He had a faint scar under his chin.
She raised her chin toward Reds. “That’s Dave.”
“And Max is behind those trees, bleeding the lizard.” Reds pointed to the boy with round eyes, laughing.
Max was standing with his back to us, legs slightly parted. He zipped up and came over. He was twitchy, his head moving nervously from side to side, looking for what, I didn’t know. He walked up to me, tucking something in his back pocket.
I pointed to each boy in the order they were introduced and said the nickname I had for them. “Hi Freckles, Reds, and Owl. I’m New Girl.” Everyone laughed and I relaxed a little.
“Wendy?” Julie flipped out a cigarette from her pack and handed it to my cousin.
“Thanks.”
I couldn’t believe she took it. Freckles lit her cig
arette, expertly cupping his hand to prevent the wind from blowing the flame out.
“Hey, New Girl. Want one?” Julie offered the pack to me.
In my brief hesitation, the boys stopped what they were doing and watched me. Wendy nodded her head urgently toward the cigarette, so I took one. I felt like it was a rite of passage, though I didn’t know for what.
Freckles lit my cigarette, cupping his hand like he did for Wendy. The cigarette felt strange between my fingers. With my coordination skills, I was more than likely going to burn myself or start a fire than anything else.
I inhaled and coughed. It burned my throat and smoke got in my eyes. Why couldn’t I ever pull off being cool?
“Is this your first time smoking?” Julie’s question was laced with sarcasm.
“No.” I coughed my way through another drag, feeling more and more light-headed.
Julie was the most comfortable smoking. She held the cigarette delicately between her fingers like a movie star. Then she pushed the smoke out through her full lips as if she was releasing a secret.
“I remember my first cigarette. I was ten.” Owl swiped at the air, chasing a mosquito away.
“Oh, that’s bull,” Freckles said. “I gave you your first smoke last summer.”
“That wasn’t my first. My folks have always smoked. I snatched one when I was ten years old and smoked it in this very spot.”
“I don’t think that counts,” Freckles said.
“Why not?” Owl asked.
“Because you took two hits and puked,” Freckles said.
“I did not!”
“Yeah, you did, Puker,” Freckles said. “I could tell you what you ate for lunch that day—pepperoni pizza. The pepperoni was still whole!”
“He’s a puker,” Tommy said, pointing to Owl.
“Gross,” Reds said.
“Am not. Shut up.” Owl pulled out a squirt gun he’d been hiding in the back of his shorts and pointed it at Freckles.
“Oh, I’m afraid. It’s a squirt gun,” Freckles said sarcastically. He put both hands to his mouth pretending to bite his nails.
“Stop it, or I’ll shoot.”
“Oh, I’m scared.” Freckles laughed and looked at the guys for approval.
The first blast from the squirt gun landed on Freckles’ forehead. Then again and again, until his face was totally wet. Freckles tried to block the barrage of squirts with his forearm but it was useless.
His mood darkened. “Stop it, dork. I mean it.”
We all laughed, watching Owl unload the squirt gun until it was empty.
“You stupid jerk.” Freckles cleared his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. He looked confused and stuck his tongue out to a droplet above his lip. His faced soured. Then he swiped his forehead with his hand and brought it under his nose and sniffed. “Did you piss in that squirt gun?”
Owl’s expression changed quickly from triumph to worry. Freckles lunged forward and grabbed Owl’s shirt. The shirt ripped at the shoulder as he struggled to get free, but Freckles was taller and stronger, and he grabbed Owl around his waist and plunged him into a tree.
“It was only a joke,” Owl said. His bottom lip was bleeding.
Freckles kept Owl’s face against the bark while cursing, pushing him into the tree with each poisoned word, each movement making new scratches.
Owl gasped for air and spit blood out of his mouth.
“Do you give up? Huh?” Freckles pushed Owl’s face harder into the bark.
Owl did what he could to nod his head, being that half of his face was smashed against the tree and hard to move.
I glanced at Wendy, not knowing what to do. She looked as nervous as I felt.
“Then say it!” Freckles yelled. “Say it!” He pushed again. “Say uncle!”
“Billy, that’s enough. You’re killing him!” Reds raced over and tried to pull them apart, but Freckles brought up his elbow and caught Reds in the face. The blow knocked his baseball cap off, bloodying his nose. Freckles looked back and seemed to realize what he had done. He released his strong hold on Owl and went over to Reds.
“Jeez, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Enough. Cut it out,” Julie said. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her. The queen had spoken.
I stared in disbelief. What had I gotten myself into? My heart raced. I never knew what to do or say in situations like this.
A while after the fight, we sat around on logs by the river’s edge, talking. Well, they were talking, mostly about their plans for the summer. Since my future was so uncertain, I just kept quiet and listened. I don’t know how much time had passed, but it was least an hour. I was almost dry when we heard a voice from the top of the path.
“Hey, dorks, time for dinner,” a girl yelled. The sun forced beams of filtered light between the trees, causing me to squint toward her direction.
“We’re not dorks,” Wendy yelled back.
“Who’s that?” Reds asked.
“Just my creepy little sister,” Wendy said. She tapped me on the shoulder. “Come on, we better go.”
I grabbed my flip flops and followed Wendy up the path.
“See you guys later,” Wendy said halfway up the path.
“Yeah, see y’all later,” I said.
“Y’all?” Julie said in her best southern accent, mocking me. “Where’re you from, New Girl?”
“Virginia,” I said over my shoulder as we hurried up the path to meet Paige.
“I’m not creepy,” Paige said when we reached her. She was cute and had brown hair down to her shoulders with the same root-beer colored eyes as Wendy, but her complexion was darker than Wendy’s.
“Are too,” Wendy said.
“Hi, Paige.”
“Hi, Chris,” Paige said.
“You’re so big. Last time I saw you, you were just a little bird,” I said.
“Why are you all muddy?” Paige asked me.
“None of your business, dork,” Wendy said.
“Better stop calling me names or else.”
“Or else what?”
“Or else I’ll tell Mom.”
“Tell her what?”
“Oh, I don’t know. That you were at the river.” She held up two fingers as if offering a peace sign. After a moment, she grinned and put her fingers against her mouth and inhaled on a pretend cigarette.
“You brat,” Wendy said, leaning into her face.
“It’s okay.” I pulled Wendy away from her. “She won’t tell, will you, Paige?” I winked at her and put my arm around her shoulder. “I haven’t seen you in ages. How old are you now?”
“I’m seven,” Paige said, putting her arm around my waist. We walked arm and arm back to the cottage with Wendy following behind us.
As we neared the cottage, two kids exploded out of the neighbor’s door, scaring me. They both had blond hair and looked like they were the same age as Paige.
“Give it back, Cody. Give it back or I’ll—” The girl was pulling on a rag doll that the boy was holding ransom.
The neighbor woman ran out the front door. “Cody, give your sister her doll, and both of you, get back in this cottage!”
“Hi, Alice.” My aunt waved from the screened porch. “Getting settled in I see.”
Alice looked apologetically at my aunt. “We’ve been here one day and they’re already at it,” she said, defeated. “Twins. You’re lucky to have yours so many years apart.”
“It still doesn’t make it easier. At least you got to get through the diapers all at the same time.”
Paige walked over to them. “Hey, Callie, want to play?”
We slipped by my mom and my aunt who were still on the porch and went in the back door so they wouldn’t see my dirty clothes. It led to a hallway where the bathroom was immediately on the right. It was so small that it only had a toilet in it, no sink. Straight ahead was the shower stall, separated only by a frosty white shower curtain.
We crept into our
bedroom.
“I can’t believe you swam out to Slippery Rock. That was brave,” Wendy whispered. “I wouldn’t have done it, even if I knew how to swim.”
“I can’t believe it either,” I said, rubbing my muscles. “I really didn’t think I was going to make it.”
“Please don’t tell my parents. I would get into so much trouble,” Wendy said.
I ran my fingers across my mouth, turned an invisible key, and threw it away.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” I whispered.
“I don’t,” Wendy whispered back.
“I don’t like it,” I confessed.
“I don’t think anybody does, but whatever Julie does, the rest do.”
“Why does she act so stuck up?”
“Popularity. It changes people. When I was ten, I had to have my appendix out, and she was the only one from camp who came to the hospital to see me. She used to be real nice. Now she just pretends.”
I fumbled in my suitcase for some dry clothes. I changed as fast as I could. I didn’t have any brothers or sisters so I felt weird being naked in front of Wendy. I saw her looking at me and felt myself blush.
It was awkward and I think she felt it too because she quickly said, “I’ll show you my scar.” Standing in front of me, she raised her T-shirt and lowered her shorts a little to show me. It was still raised and angry looking.
“Did it hurt?”
“It did at first, but it doesn’t anymore. It’s just a reminder now.”
After I changed clothes, we went to the living room and sat down next to Paige. The couch still smelled moldy from being closed up all winter.
My aunt and my mom were at the table sipping coffee. They talked in whispers and every so often, my aunt reached over to touch my mother’s hand. I tried to listen but Wendy and Paige kept asking me questions.
Not long after, Uncle Butch’s station wagon pulled up to the cottage. He came inside, went right to my mom, and hugged her. “It’s so good to see you again. It’s been too long.” He threw the car keys and his Lucky Strike cigarette pack on the side table next to the chair.
“It has been too long,” Mom said, hugging him back.
