“I know. When we were in the gas station, I didn’t have time to tell you everything.” Knowing I needed to bring Matthew up to speed before he told me why he was here, I began with my journey. “Everything started the night my mom died. On her deathbed, she told me I wasn’t Sarah. Matthew, my real name is Kenzie Brooks.”
Matthew didn’t move. It was how we were taught to be at The Society when strong emotions tried to overcome our rational thinking. Now, that line of thinking seemed suffocating to me. Emotions were meant to be felt.
I continued to fill Matthew in as Aiden supportively stayed beside me.
FINISHING MY ENTIRE journey, Matthew leaned back in the chair. “I’m not sure what all I expected, but it wasn’t that.”
The pizza sat cold on the counter, having arrived midway through my story. Matthew hadn’t been hungry at the time.
There was definitely more of a barrier between Matthew and I that hadn’t been there at the gas station. I assumed it had to do with Aiden with how guarded Matthew seemed around him. Maybe it was in my imagination, I wasn’t sure.
The clock on the wall had a faint ticking that filled the air when no one spoke. Aiden hadn’t said a word as he took it all in.
“It’s all been an adjustment. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong anywhere anymore.” I shrugged. “The Society gave me the ground work for who I am, but I belonged out here.”
Matthew nodded. “You seem happier, healthier even.” Giving him a soft smile, he took a deep breath. “I guess I should start now. The reason I was in the gas station that day you found me was because we’ve been searching in nearby towns for anyone that may have been trying to cause The Society problems. Like I said at the gas station, we got word that the outside world was trying to infiltrate our lives. That night, before the cops came we removed all the grave markers and made the leaves extra thick in the cemetery. Boxes upon boxes were loaded up and driven away in the middle of the night.
The Keeper had stated The Light had spoken to him and the doomed were going to try and steal those that had gone before us. The Light didn’t want the tainted bodies around, but we were to first hide their graves, then burn them . . . slowly so as not to draw any attention to our community. There aren’t any bodies that died of the mysterious illness left now. The graves have been filled in.”
Shaking his head, Matthew continued, “The next day, after the police had left, the Keeper had a meeting with five of us Watchers. He told us that someone was trying to ruin our way of life. We were to watch everyone closely to see if someone had been infected by the doomed. When nothing was found out of the normal, we searched nearby towns. The Keeper was convinced it was someone who’d gotten into our community. That’s when he devised the plan of taking us out with him while we searched. The plan didn’t make sense to me, but I didn’t question The Light. In total, I accompanied the Keeper three times and was always dropped off for about twenty minutes while he ran some errands.
As I rode the bus here, I remembered the one odd thing about these trips into town. Prior to starting our search, we’d load three wooden boxes that were sealed. When the Keeper would pick me up, the boxes were gone and never spoken of. I don’t know where the boxes come from within our community.”
Pausing, Matthew brought his hands to his lips as if he was praying, but I knew he was organizing his thoughts. “After I saw you at the gas station, I went back to The Society, keeping a close eye on everything. At first, I honestly thought you’d been infected by the doomed world. Then . . .”
I was practically on the edge of my seat, listening to Matthew. Aiden was leaned forward with his fingers steepled beneath his chin.
“Then, I overheard a conversation between the Keeper and Abraham yesterday.” Matthew had anguish in his eyes as he watched me.
Abraham had been a Watcher who enforced the rules and sent people to temporary exile based on The Light’s commands. Abraham always terrified me with the wicked gleam in his eyes. But, he’d never stepped out of line from any of the Keeper’s commands—or at least from what we saw.
“In the conversation, the Keeper told Abraham he believed that you were alive and they needed to find you. The Keeper believed you were living in Missouri, in a nearby town. I listened through the whole conversation and they never stated how. Abraham was instructed to not tell anyone, even the Keeper’s son, John. They needed to find you and address the situation before anyone found out. They said it could ruin all they had worked for. I didn’t find anything to prove they were guilty, but I knew I had to warn you.”
My veins ran cold as my vision unfocused, imagining how they pieced it altogether. Aiden stood. “Is that why you came here . . . to warn, Kenzie. Or did you lead them to her?”
Matthew stood, matching Aiden’s aggressive stance. “I would never betray, Sarah. She may be yours, but at one point, it had been planned for us to marry.”
The atmosphere became more hostile, quickly. I stood and placed my hand on Aiden’s back. “Please. I know Matthew wouldn’t betray me. He came to warn me.”
Softening toward me, Matthew relaxed—minutely. “No one followed me. I slipped out in the middle of the night. I walked around the campus all day, making sure no one else from The Society was here. I saw you leaving a building and stayed close, but not too close. I thought it was safer to come to you at night.”
“Thank you, Matthew. I know what you’ve sacrificed.”
For a mere moment, the corners of his lips dipped downward until the emotional mask resumed. “Our people need to be protected. They’ll never believe it if you or I told them. I’m here to help find a way to bring The Society down.”
“Let’s eat, get some sleep, and we can figure this out in the morning. We’re on Christmas break, so we won’t have class for the next few weeks.” As I spoke, Matthew gave a tired gesture with a slight nod.
AFTER DINNER, MATTHEW had decided on a shower. Aiden had a drawer full of clothes and he’d loaned some lounge pants and a T-shirt for him to sleep in. And for tomorrow, I’d given him a pair of Aiden’s jeans and another long sleeve shirt of Aiden’s. There hadn’t been much time for Matthew to pack and he’d only brought a small bag with him.
I was downstairs getting Matthew’s bed ready for the night on the couch. Adding one last blanket to the bed, Aiden remerged from the kitchen after cleaning up from dinner.
“We may need to leave here, Kenzie.”
I hadn’t been ready to face this fact.
With a trembling lip, I shakily said, “I know. I know I may have to start over. I’m not sure if I can leave you.”
Needing the contact, I walked into Aiden’s arms. He enveloped my body. “Kenzie, sweetheart, we would go together. I’m not leaving you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.” I mumbled into his chest.
Strong arms stroked my back. “Kenzie, we’re in this together. You’re my life. You know that, right?”
“Yes, you’re mine, too. I’m going to have to help Matthew adjust.”
There was an edge to his voice. “I know.”
Since Matthew had mentioned marriage, Aiden had become sharper around him. Matthew came down the stairs quickly, wearing Aiden’s clothes, but stopped short when he saw Aiden holding me. I left Aiden’s embrace. This type of contact would be awkward for Matthew. I didn’t want to walk on eggshells around him, but this was his first night here.
Placating, I spoke to everyone, “Why don’t we get some sleep? We’ll get breakfast in the morning and go from there.”
Matthew was going to need clothes and much more in the next few days. He didn’t have a social security card or birth certificate which had been my identification to get my school id and job. Tomorrow. We’d figure it out tomorrow.
Everyone gave a slight nod. Walking up to Matthew, I squeezed his hand like we always used to say good-bye to each other. “Night. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Matthew didn’t let go of my hand. “Where’s Aiden sleeping?”
; “With Kenzie.” The voice of the man I loved brokered no argument.
Matthew’s face dropped and he released me. I spoke to try and explain things, “Things are different here. Relationships work differently.”
The blue eyes looked straight at me. “I think the basics of right and wrong are still the same, Sarah.”
The disapproval was tough to take. But, he had it all wrong. Aiden cleared his throat. I held up my hand behind me to stop him becoming all possessive. It worked as Aiden didn’t say anything.
The atmosphere tensed, rapidly. I tried to keep my voice calm and soothing, but I was worn out. “We’ll talk tomorrow, Matthew. This is hard for everyone.”
As I turned, he grabbed my hand again. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. I’m here if you need anything.”
“I know.” I felt Aiden approach me from the other side.
Matthew squeezed my hand. “Sweet dreams until tomorrow.”
“Sweet dreams until tomorrow.”
Those were the words that Matthew said every time he left me. I’d missed my friend. The connection we shared was evident.
Aiden and I walked up the stairs. Matthew watched me the whole way. I wondered what he was thinking. There was part of me that felt like I’d betrayed him and my heart broke for that reason. In my room, Aiden and I silently got dressed for bed and slipped under the covers with the bedside lamp still on.
Aiden’s troubled voice broke the unsteady quietness that had settled over the room. “Do you love him, Kenzie?”
Perching my chin on his chest, I replied, “Not like I love you.”
“That doesn’t really answer the question, sweetheart.”
I closed my eyes for a second as I gathered the words. “Matthew was my best friend for as long as I can remember. Everyone in The Society thought The Light was going to match us together for marriage. He’s a good person, Aiden. He’s been a victim of a bad situation like me. But to answer your question, yes, a part of me does love him. But it’s like you and Stacy. My feelings for you don’t even compare.”
“I’m grateful for what he did in warning us. But, hearing him say you guys were going to get married makes it a jagged pill to swallow.”
“I’m yours, Aiden. Matthew and I never even kissed. You have all of me.”
He let out a slow relaxing breath. “And you have all of me.” The taut muscles of his body continued to soften. Aiden ran his fingers along my arm. “We’ll figure all this out. But as long as he’s here, I’m in your bed at night.”
“I completely understand.”
THE NEXT MORNING, I’d gotten up at my normal time, but Aiden had already left the bed. Before I headed downstairs, I got ready. Walking around in my pajamas with another man in the house didn’t seem like a good idea.
As I made it toward the bottom landing, I noticed the blankets Matthew had used were folded pristinely on the end of the couch. Voices came from the kitchen as I slowed my decent.
Matthews spoke, “Do you really love her?”
Aiden answered without hesitation, “I do. With my whole heart.”
They lapsed into silence and I remained motionless. I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but I couldn’t pop into the kitchen during this awkward moment.
“I love her, too.” Matthew spoke with as much conviction as Aiden.
“I’m not letting her go, Matthew.”
“Then, you’re smart. But, do you love her enough to let her choose?”
Tears pricked the back of my eyes as the two men I cared most about talked about their love for me. I didn’t deserve them. There had been a time I’d believed Matthew and I were meant to be together. But after meeting Aiden, all that shifted into focus. I truly believed Matthew would find his true intended—a girl that truly took his heart. He would make someone happy and I hoped we remained friends, always.
The boys became silent again and I decided to make my entrance. They were sitting at the bar, each eating a bowl of cereal. Matthew was dressed in Aiden’s jeans and T-shirt. They were nearly the same size.
“Good morning.”
Both men smiled at me. Their faces looked relaxed, but I could still sense the tenseness with how stiff their muscles were.
They both in unison responded, “Good morning.”
“How’d you sleep, Matthew?” I asked as I grabbed my own cereal bowl. Aiden came to the sink, putting his bowl up before giving me an innocent kiss on the cheek.
Matthew shrugged. “Off and on. I’m still working on processing it all.”
“Yeah, I am too. It gets better with time.”
Matthew nodded introspectively and took another bite of his cereal.
Aiden came up beside me. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.”
I followed Aiden up the stairs and to my bedroom. After the door closed, he kissed me hard. Having him want me had desire racing to the forefront of my mind. Brushing a few gentler kisses along my lips, he said, “I’m going to take care of a few things. I think you and Brooklyn need a security system.”
There seemed to be something else going on with Aiden as his eyes didn’t fully meet mine like normal. “Why are you leaving?”
He looked down. “Because as much as I love you, I need to let you be alone with Matthew.”
“What?”
Gently, he kissed me again. I wasn’t sure what to think. “Matthew loves you. He told me. I’m yours, Kenzie, all yours, but I need to know that you’re not mine because you and Matthew didn’t have a chance.”
“Aiden, no. I love you.” There was no arguing with my conviction.
“I know. But I need to do this so I don’t torture myself with what if’s.” Giving me one more tender kiss, he said, “I’ll be back this afternoon so we can make a game plan. Whatever happens, I’m in this with you until the end.”
“I love you, Aiden.”
“I love you, too. Forever.”
Aiden walked out the door and I stood there and whispered, “Forever.”
Matthew’s words had struck a nerve with Aiden. Part of me wanted to be aggravated that Matthew had placed the doubt within Aiden’s mind, but I couldn’t. I never wanted Aiden to doubt my love for him. If Aiden needed this, he’d find out that it changed nothing.
After hearing the door shut, I returned downstairs. Matthew was on the couch and I joined him, sitting a few feet away. Tilting the frame he held, he showed me the picture of where Aiden had his arms wrapped around me. We were both smiling into the camera against the rock background of Mount Kessler.
“You’re happy. You love him, don’t you?”
Taking the frame, I gazed at my blissful expression. “I do love him. With my whole heart.”
“I can tell.” Matthew took the frame from me and returned it to the mantel. With his back to me as he looked at the frame, he spoke, “I’d imagined a very different life for us. But, Sarah, I won’t push. Just know that I care for you deeply.”
Facing me, he watched my expression. A lone tear fell down my face. “It’s not enough is it?”
There was hope in Matthew’s voice. I never wanted to give him false hope. “No. I love him, Matthew.”
Resuming his position on the couch, he gave me a wink and tried to lighten the mood. I could still sense the sadness in his features. He leaned back. “All right. Well, fill me in on what’s expected in this society. I can’t believe how seamlessly you adapted to all this without any help.”
The kindred friendship would never die. “Well, you had pizza last night. Let’s try one of my other favorite foods. It’s called ice cream. While we’re eating, I’ll fill you in.”
It was a little early for the ice cream, but I didn’t care.
“Sounds perfect to me. The food here is much better.”
Going into the kitchen, I yelled over my shoulder. “I know. Wait until you try a hamburger.”
TWO AND A half hours had passed as well as a gallon of ice cream. Licking his spoon, Matthew laughed. “People really say th
ings like that?”
I’d spent the last thirty minutes filling Matthew in on the slang terms I learned.
I tried to get my laughter under control. Only someone from The Society could really see how absurd some things people said here were. “They do. If they say something you don’t know what it is, smile and nod. Those two gestures got me through many awkward moments.”
“I’ll remember that.”
My phone vibrated. It was Aiden.
Aiden: How are things going?
Me: Good. Matthew knows I love you. My feelings for you haven’t changed. But, I’m glad you let us talk.
Aiden: Love you, sweetheart. I’ll be there in about an hour.
Me: Can’t wait to see you.
I put my phone back on the table. “Aiden will be here in about an hour.”
“Sounds good. I wanted to give you something, Sarah, I mean, Kenzie. Sorry, that’s going to be a hard habit to break.” Grabbing his worn knapsack, Matthew put it on his lap. It was bulgy. Unfastening the top buckle, he left the flap down. “When they cleaned out your house after you disappeared, they gave my mom your mom’s trunk since they were best friends.” He opened the bag. “I thought you would want this.”
A white quilt emerged and I reached for it. “My mom’s quilt.”
Countless times, I’d remembered those few precious moments in the attic as I touched the hand stitching my mom had done.
Throwing my hands around his neck, I hugged Matthew. “Thank you.”
He was stiff at first, but relaxed into the hug. Caressing my back, he whispered in my ear, “You’re welcome. I know how precious those quilts are.”
Pulling back, I kept running my hands along the different patterns of fabric. “Do you think we’ll be able to find a way to expose The Society?”
He let out a breath. “I hope so. I’ve been thinking how we could do it. Maybe if both of us talked to the police, it’d be taken more seriously. If they’ve burned all the incriminating evidence, I’m not sure what our next step is. But, I’m not giving up.”
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