Aiden was at the gym running with his sister for their Saturday morning ritual. I loved him more and more with each passing day. Both Aiden and Mike now lived with Brooklyn and I in the house. Life was good. I was happy and still in love.
I still worked at both the coffee shop and the paper to earn my income. With four people in the house, it was financially easier on me. In addition, I took on more classes through the summer and fall semesters to try and catch up with Aiden since he was a year ahead of me. As it stood right now, we’d graduate at the same time.
Over the past year, I’d learned how to drive and bought myself what they called an economy vehicle with a loan. I loved the independence I had and would never take it for granted. Hopping in my little white car, I headed to a place I hadn’t been to since that fateful day . . . Mount Kessler.
My nerves were uneasy as I thought about what was ahead of me. Not until today, had I been able to face going back to Mount Kessler.
It was time.
I parked my car and got out. It was warmer than normal for a December day, but I still wore a jacket and scarf. The trail was busy. If only it had been this way a year ago. Often I wondered if I could have done something different. There wasn’t an answer to the constant silent query.
As I started down the path, two images clouded my head—being here with Aiden on our first trip and Matthew being held hostage with me.
Passing a large boulder, I saw Aiden brushing his hands along my neck before kissing me in the tender spot.
I kept walking.
Here was where Matthew squeezed my hand when we thought we were facing eminent death.
I kept walking.
The images kept coming, alternating between Aiden and Matthew. How I wished I could see Matthew’s smile and hear his voice again. I missed him.
And finally . . . the place where Matthew had drawn his last breath was at my feet. I sat and drew my coat around me, trying to chase away the chill.
Laying my hand on the ground where Matthew had been, I poured my heart out. “I miss you. Each and every day I think about you. I’m riddled with guilt over what happened. It plagues me. I’m working on forgiving myself. It’s almost been a year since I lost you. The world is emptier without you in it. Thank you for giving me the gift of life . . . and love.”
A warm breeze blew and I closed my eyes, treasuring all the memories Matthew and I had together. I felt peace as I continued to tell Matthew all that had happened the last year with school and Aiden. True to Matthew’s wishes, I was living life to the fullest.
Standing, I spoke to the air, “I love you, Matthew. You’ll always be in my heart.”
Making my way back to the car, I breathed a sigh of relief, letting go of the weight I’d been carrying for the last year. Matthew would always be part of me and I’d never forget him, but finally, I’d forgiven myself.
Driving home, I thought about all that laid ahead of me—my entire life. I was going to live it to the fullest. The pale yellow siding of the house we’d moved into last year came into view. Only Aiden’s car was in the driveway and I’d have a few minutes alone with him.
Entering the house, I found Aiden on the couch with massive amounts of papers spread before him. The frat was working on raising money for the local orphanage and I assumed this was what all the mess was about. The Christmas auction was approaching in the next week.
Taking my place next to him, I laid my head on his shoulder. “What are you working on?”
Over the last year, my love had only grown for Aiden. We were still young, with me at twenty and Aiden at twenty-one, but with all that we’d been through I knew we were each other’s forever. Neither one of us was in any rush to get married and agreed it was best to wait until after college.
Aiden put his arm around me. “Finishing up the details for the auction. Brooklyn and Mike are getting Chinese takeout for dinner. Where’s my girl been?”
I cleared my throat. Aiden hadn’t known about my plans today since I knew he’d insist on coming with me. “I went to Mount Kessler.”
Aiden’s eyes shot to mine, alarm etching his features, he faced me. “Kenzie, are you okay?”
Through the past year, Aiden had been my rock, the one to soothe me during the nightmares and . . . the heartache.
My hand graced his cheek. “I am. It was something I needed to do by myself.”
“I would have gone with you.” Minutely, Aiden relaxed, but continued to watch me closely.
“I know. I love you for it.” I paused. “While I was up there, I talked to Matthew and told him about us, school, and that I was living. It felt good, therapeutic even.”
Leaning over, Aiden’s lips lightly brushed mine. “I admire how strong you are. I love you, Kenzie.”
“I love you, too.”
The front door opened. Mike and Brooklyn entered. They were bantering back and forth as they made their way to the table with the food. Glancing to Aiden, he looked at me with love. This was my family, my life and I was choosing to live. Forever.
SINCE THE DAY I’d gone back to Mount Kessler, eight months had passed. School started in two weeks. After a grueling class schedule for the last year and a half, I was a senior like Aiden. We’d be graduating together. From there, I wasn’t sure where we’d go, but it would be together.
Aiden was hoping to get on as a journalist for a newspaper and I’d followed my love for research. I tried not to stress about the future and let it happen. That was the power of free will and choice—something I’d never take for granted.
Leaving the coffee shop from my late afternoon shift, my phone vibrated.
Aiden: What’s my gorgeous girl up to?
Me: Looking for you.
Aiden: Meet me where I first mauled you.
Me: What are you up to?
Aiden: Hurry!
Me: Okay!
Smiling, I picked up my pace as I walked the ten minutes to campus where Aiden had first run me over as he played football with his friends. A few students milled about on the campus I wondered what Aiden had planned. August heat in Arkansas was unrelenting as I kept my pace even.
Cresting the top of the hill, I saw Aiden standing on the sidewalk in the spot I’d taken the tumble. At the time, I had no idea those electrifying feelings meant that I’d found the one.
Aiden gave me a gorgeous smile and looked at me tenderly.
“What’s going on?” I asked, curiosity nearly eating me alive.
Grabbing his hand, I noticed it shook mildly. “Is everything okay, Aiden?”
He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his black hair while his blue eyes searched mine. The nerves emanating from him were similar to when he’d first asked me out. I wanted to giggle, but held it in, waiting to see where this went—hoping my suspicions were correct.
“It will be, in a sec. Shit, I’m nervous.” I gave him a quick kiss and tried to step back, but Aiden held me to him and spoke against my lips. “I’m calmer when you’re in my arms.”
“I like being in your arms.”
The grip around my waist tightened. “Kenzie, I’ve been wanting to ask you something for a while.”
Without thinking, I responded, “I’ve been wanting to answer something for a while.”
Aiden kissed me hard, then released me with a handsome grin on his face. As he knelt on one knee, he pulled out a black velvet box.
“Kenzie Brooks, I love you. I fell for you the moment I ran into you trying to catch that pass with the football.” I let the giggle escape I’d been holding in before he continued, “I know we’re young, but I know this is forever. Will you marry me?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Jubilation pumped through my veins as I fully committed myself to the man I loved. I was where I was supposed to be, with Aiden. He was my present and my future. Because of my mom’s choices and Matthew’s sacrifice, I’d found the love of my life.
Aiden stood and slipped on a beautiful square emerald ring that was edged with diamonds. “This r
eminded me of your green eyes. I know it’s not the traditional ring, but it—”
I kissed him hard to stop his thoughts. “I love it. It’s perfect. It’s us.”
“It’s forever.”
Six years later . . .
“ANNALYN, IT’S TIME to go.”
“Momma, just one more minute?” My little girl with red curly hair and green eyes looked at me, pleading.
Annalyn was another blessing in my life that came from my mother’s murder. If I hadn’t left The Society, I’d never met Aiden. When Annalyn came into this world, I understood how the love of a child could alter someone’s decisions. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her. Motherhood was one of the greatest blessings of all. I enjoyed every second of it.
I nodded. “One more minute, then we need to go see Gram and Gramps.”
Aiden’s parents loved having grandchildren. I was blessed to have Pamela and Kenneth in my life, who I now called Mom and Dad. They loved me like one of their own and I treasured my family.
“Okay, Momma.”
Annalyn raced back toward the play set. We’d stop along the way to Aiden’s parents’ home, about sixty miles outside Nevada, Missouri to let Annalyn stretch her legs. We avoided that town, still to this day. Anytime I saw the city name on signs, I shivered and had to push all the wretched memories aside.
I focused back on my little miracle as she jumped about. Aiden and I had gotten married two months after graduating college, then had Annalyn two years after that.
Mike, Brooklyn, and their infant, Thomas, would be at Pamela and Kenneth’s, too. We hadn’t seen Thomas since he was born and now he was five months old. I loved being an aunt. I loved everything about my life.
Wrapping his hands around me, Aiden whispered in my ear, “I think we need another one.”
“I think you’re right.” His touch brought the familiar butterflies I’d never tire of feeling. For the past few weeks, I’d felt like I was ready again to have another baby and had casually mentioned it to Aiden. Birth control had stopped immediately.
Annalyn squealed in excitement as she spun the wheel on the board of activities that was connected to the jungle gym. We chuckled as we watched our daughter play.
Breath tickled my ear. “We’ll start trying tonight when Annalyn goes to sleep.”
“I can’t wait.” Anticipation bloomed in my stomach. After all these years, I couldn’t’ get enough of my husband.
Aiden had followed his dream and became a journalist. I’d become a research analyst. However, since Annalyn had been born, I’d quit working and only helped Aiden on his reporting assignments. For now, all I wanted to do was focus on being a mom and a wife. Enjoy it. Savor it. Time moved too fast not to live in the moment. Time was something we could never get back. Once it was gone . . . it was gone. This was a lesson I was acutely aware of.
Aiden rubbed his hands on my stomach sending tingles through me. “I’m already imagining a little boy.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I chuckled, knowing we had no control over the sex of the baby.
He kissed my neck. “I’d say our forever is turning out better than I dreamed.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Peace. That was what I had now on top of everything else. My life was complete.
As we got back into the car, Annalyn was buckled into her seat by Aiden. Tired from running around for the last hour, her little eyes shut. It was amazing how she could go from full throttle to out in a nanosecond. For naptime, Annalyn would probably sleep the rest of the way to Aiden’s parent’s house.
Getting into the passenger seat, I noticed a man in a tall hat with white hair. He walked across the playground. For a mere moment, he looked back over his shoulder, checking his surroundings. I knew those eyes anywhere. They belonged to the Keeper and his son, John.
Ice ran through my veins as every painful memory resurfaced. John was here and the two loves of my life were with me, near him. My hands shook as I balled them into my lap to regain my composure. There was nothing he could do to my family.
After all this time, and endless hours of trying, we hadn’t been able to find any proof to expose what The Society had done or potentially was still doing. Until I knew for sure, I would keep searching for answers. If someone had escaped, like me, they never went public with anything. I grabbed Aiden’s arm before he cranked the car. This was our chance.
As Aiden looked at me, I motioned to John as he kept walking in the same gate his father had all those years ago. I’d never forget a detail of the Keeper. He was the person that still haunted my dreams from time to time.
So many memories came to the surface—my life before, my mom, and Matthew. They would all be a part of me forever. There wasn’t a day that passed by that I didn’t think of all the loss, the hurt, the sadness The Society had caused. But through them, I’d found life.
“Is that the son?” Aiden’s voice sounded disbelieving and he gripped the steering wheel, knuckles turning white.
“Yes.” A chill ran through my body. The resemblance was uncanny.
Quickly, I glanced to the backseat. Annalyn was fast asleep. My attention returned back to John as he approached a woman who looked sad as she watched a kid playing in the sand. I imagined this scene was similar to what it had been all those years ago . . . with my mom.
John sat and talked to her.
Think about your options, Kenzie. Save this woman. Save her from the same fate.
Urgency raced through me. I wanted to run to the woman and scream, but remained seated, waiting for my time.
“We have to warn her after he leaves, Aiden.”
Aiden put his hand on my leg. “We will. As soon as he leaves, we’ll warn her, sweetheart.”A sense of déjà vu came over me as I watched the scene unfold—remembering parts of the letter I’d committed to memory and burned all those years ago that Mom had written.
My world was lost. I had no family, no way to support us, no hope left for survival. One day, we were at a park in a nearby town. The Keeper approached me and called himself Jacob. I’m sure I looked lost and lonely.
Thirty minutes passed. Nervously, I kept glancing back to Annalyn. Her eyelashes laid against her rosy red cheeks. I was blessed to have been given a second chance at life. Thinking of Annalyn growing up in the harsh conditions of The Society broke my heart. No one deserved a life like that.
Finally, John stood and shook the woman’s hand. She still had a look of apprehension on her face, but she had warmed to him or the idea he presented. John turned and walked back toward the tree line. His confident stride had my stomach churning. My heart ferociously beat in my chest as I waited for him to be completely out of sight. This was it. The chance to right a wrong that was about to be done to these people.
After a few minutes, I went to grab the door handle and Aiden touched my leg. “I can go, Kenzie.”
His soothing voice gave me strength. “No, this is something I need to do.”
He motioned with his head for me to continue on. Taking a deep breath, I headed to the woman on the bench. Her shoulders were slumped, and from here, looked like she was crying. Not six feet away, her daughter played in the sand. The little girl was no more than three years of age and was an exact replica of her mother, dark hair and eyes. She was full of life, innocent, and not tainted by life’s cruel ways. Not tainted by The Society.
When I came within a few feet of the woman, I announced myself. “Hello. Is this seat taken?”
“No, no. Please sit.” Hastily, she wiped the tears from her eyes.
Taking the seat, I watched the little girl play. Please let me have the right words to save this woman from making the same decision as my mom. The woman had sorrow coming off her in waves. In this instance, I had an insight of maybe why my mom had chosen The Society when she thought she’d lost everything . . . but me. It helped heal the wounds of not understanding my mom’s decision as I saw the scene unfold.
Getting my thoughts in
order, I watched the little girl fill up a bucket with sand. When she dumped it, she’d squeal in delight. I wanted this little girl to have a different life than the one I had.
Keeping my eye on the tree line, there was no movement. There was none, but I still readied myself in case John came back into view. Bouncing my foot, I tried to calm myself. This was a big moment and there was a lot on the line.
My hands had a small tremor as I readied myself. I cleared my throat. “You’re going to think I’m crazy. I know that man probably offered you a life of no stress and being able to be with your daughter in a peaceful community.” She gasped, but remained silent. “I’m also going to guess that you suffered a loss as of late that has you feeling as if your world is falling apart. You’re probably thinking that there’s no way for you to survive and what this man offered you seems like paradise. He probably also offered for you to come see for yourself before you make your decision. It’s not what it seems.”
Glancing over, the woman looked at me with wide eyes, not able to talk. My lips trembled, thinking about my mom’s murder. Even after all these years, it was hard. A lone tear fell from my eye.
“I’m supposed to meet him here tomorrow at noon.” Her voice was resigned.
Taking a steadying breath, I kept going. “Don’t go. I promise that you’re strong enough to give your daughter a good life here.”
She nodded. “How do you know all this?”
Meeting her eye to eye, I poured out my heart. “Because, I was the daughter of a mother who was faced with the same decision. She chose to go. I barely escaped their grasp before it was too late.”
The woman and I had tear-streaked faces as the pain we felt over our losses permeated the atmosphere.
I had to keep convincing her not to join The Society. “Life there is hard. There aren’t financial burdens, but your freedom is gone. Someone else will choose who your daughter marries. People don’t leave once they join.” My voice nearly broke, but I persevered on. “From experience, I know there’s a strength in all of us. A strength that will emerge and see you through your grief.”
Dissipate Page 24
