by Diane Munier
“We’ve been wanting a dog,” she said.
“Well...,” Danny said, having to clear his throat a couple of times, “how about nine of them?”
She said, “Righteous. There’s a lot of love around here.”
So Dickens was showing her Sooner and Sooner stood while the lady petted her, and the baby nursed the whole time like this lady could stand on her head and the kid would just keep on.
Danny and Dickens didn’t seem too thrown by that and I guessed with all the kids maybe they’d seen it before, but I was cringing a little and holding my wrists over my nipples until I caught myself.
And Danny was smiling at me, laughing a little and he whispered, “Need some help?” and I slapped his arm.
So she told us to go on down to the pond and we could bring Sooner in the house and she’d get her some water.
I said, “She won’t go in a house.” And right after I said it she followed that lady in without giving it a thought and made a liar out of me.
Danny said, “She likes it here.”
And that didn’t make me as happy as I knew it should.
So we started for the pond in the trail through the long grass because it didn’t look like they worried about keeping the lawn trimmed. We could smell the pot and Danny looked at me but he kept walking toward the action.
Someone was hooting, much as Danny might at the quarry. Danny was in the lead and he told Dickens to stay back like we were walking into a real tribe of Indians.
I fell back from a big attack of shyness. I wasn’t good with groups, even at Temple where I knew everybody, lots of people at once…it always threw me. I was a high school kid and I was asking a big, big favor of pretty much complete strangers except for Robert. I was leaving my dog with them. My Sooner.
Danny, still in the lead, put his arm out, fingers splayed. I halted, but Dickens did not, actually pushing against Danny’s arm craning his neck to see.
Robert called out, “Danny, hey man!”
Then he was coming up out of the water in our direction. Dickens turned toward me laughing, his eyes and mouth open wide saying, “Oh man, you gotta see this.”
And I could see, when he moved, that Robert was bare, his hand over his parts, his other hand holding a joint. He’d been smoking while he stood in the water, soaking his lower half, the parts I’d never seen in real before now.
Not far behind him, a woman, wild red hair and bare on top, big roundy breasts, shorts on the bottom, beyond her, other side of the pond a group of all sizes just wearing their skins, one guy swinging on a rope, his body in a ball, feet meeting hands, crack to the wind, toward us. I mean, this hit all of us all at once.
Danny was a quick responder. He did a couple of things at the same time, he said, “Put some pants on man,” to Robert, and he grabbed Dickens and turned him around and stuck his head under his arm. Dickens started to protest right away, and Danny turned quick toward me and said, “Back, back….” and not much else, his face looking shocked, and ruddier than usual.
And he herded us back to the car, and Dickens was laughing and saying, “Oh man, that guy’s johnson and that lady’s tits. They were all naked.”
I had my hand over my mouth not knowing how we could just get down to business after this…business.
And when I looked at Danny he was mad, but then he laughed some too and slapped Dickens on the back of his head and said, “Shut up.”
We were herded around the car like chicks to the mother hen, not knowing what to do with ourselves, but here came Robert wearing some crazy looking pajama pants like from Africa or something. They were bright yellow.
“Hey man! Don’t need to run away. We’ve all got the same stuff, right man?”
“Are we doing this thing? Or should we come some other time?” Danny said.
“No…stay man. We’ll have the meeting. They’re done at the pond. The water’s perfect, man. You ought to come in.”
“No,” Danny said. “We don’t do naked, man.”
“Oh yeah. Like when your consciousness gets raised…but I know. I was the same way, like bangin’ everything at first, but you get used to it…,” then he laughed and added, “bangin’ everything.”
“Hey…Robert…my little brother, man. Should we come back some other time?”
“No man. Mellow out. Come in the house, man,” he said.
“You want to go?” Danny said to me.
“I don’t know,” I said. I did want to go, but Sooner was in the house.
“Come on,” Danny said to us and we followed him, followed Robert’s canary pants.
“He looks like Ali Baba,” I whispered to Danny.
He didn’t laugh. He called to Robert, “Hey…are people in there wearing clothes?”
“It’s cool, man. It’s all cool in here,” Robert said holding the door for us.
We went in the house, ended up in the kitchen. It was functional and clean, plywood tables covered with oil cloth in a blue tavern check. The walls were bright yellow. The kitchen was open to what must be a living room. Low tables in there lined with colorful pillows on the floor. A turntable with gigantic stereo speakers. Lots of macramé and plants.
We sat on some of the cushions. Sooner didn’t even greet me she was so busy eating something brown out of a bowl placed next to another bowl filled with water. She’d already left me.
They started to file in then, the swimmers from the pond. They were sort of dressed now, T-shirts and towels and cut-offs—four guys, long hairs. The red-hair and another woman, a blond older than me.
They introduced themselves and we said hey and they got drinks and there was a well dug into bowl of hummus they wanted us to try, like a common pot, and it was flesh-colored and we were both saying, “No thanks,” except for Dickens who was reaching his dirty hand for some of the pita bread and Danny grabbed his wrist and told him, “no.”
And Dickens actually obeyed.
Red and blond took great note of Danny. The blond one knew who he was even though he was younger in school. The red hair was from somewhere else. But she was pretty taken with him. Of course I’d seen this about a hundred times, but it bothered me and I chewed on my lip.
The red-haired one got closer and touched Danny’s face, saying how cute he was.
I felt my heart lurch into my throat. He couldn’t get any more deeply flushed than he was. He looked at me and I saw a level of guilt that was so disturbing I had to fight tears washing over my eyes.
Under the table he grabbed my hand. But she was smiling at him, well they both were, at Dickens too, and he kept making this sound low in his throat cause the red-haired one had on a halter top and the recent exposures were right beneath the thin fabric in-case anyone needed a refresher. These boobs weren’t like the nursing ones.
So Robert was introducing us, and for the most part everyone seemed pretty high, Robert included. Mama and Lonnie had taught me to recognize the ins and outs of that.
The boys…well men, I guess…were most attentive to me. They called me ‘mama,’ and ‘little mama,’ like Robert did and one, handsome, maybe the leader, if that was allowed with all the equality and all, but he was called Felix, and he wanted me to sit by him, and Danny’s hand was tight on me, and Dickens thought it was funny, but he was pretty close to my other side, and Sooner was behind me now half sitting on my pillow.
They were passing a couple of bottles of wine, and the blond and one of the guys started kissing like we weren’t there. Another guy was firing up a big pipe with water in its base, and loud music came from the giant speakers.
“Hilly, Hilly,” Robert said sitting on the table practically in front of me, “you gotta go upstairs and see our recording studio.”
“Robert, man, what about the dog?” Danny said loud over all the mayhem.
Felix was also near me, towering over me, telling me I had great lines in my face and he wanted to draw me. “I’d like to draw your body, man. Stand up so I can see you, Mama.”
I lo
oked to Danny but he was answering the two women, blond and red, and saying he didn’t believe in free love, he’d told Robert that and they said sharing didn’t mean you didn’t love someone, that when people got out of the bondage of thinking they had to enslave themselves to one person their minds opened up and they found all the love out there, the rainbow of variety we were meant to experience….”
Before I could think, Robert was saying to Felix, “Chill man, they’re square like that,” and Felix said, “It’s all good, Mama.”
Danny was no longer holding my hand. They were all crowded around us looking at the dog and Dickens was telling them her name and they were making over her and the women were making over Danny, petting Sooner and petting Danny, and the blond was kissing a different guy now.
They’d been wanting to get a dog, a watch dog, and they really liked Sooner and how mellow she was, and she was, that was the thing, and I couldn’t believe it after the hell-hound she’d been at Naomi’s.
Dickens then led the nursing woman and one of the men out to get the puppies and I was on my feet now, being led by Felix and Robert toward the stairs, but I kept looking toward Danny and Sooner and I was worried about Dickens out where I couldn’t see, then I caught a glimpse of him out of the big front window and he was at the car handing the puppies to the others and they were looking excited and happy. I calmed down a little and checked back to Danny. Red was over him now, talking right into his face, a big grin and blond was still petting through his hair.
If he was just going to let that happen, I told Robert he could show me upstairs cause what would it hurt. I was so mad at Danny for not paying attention and allowing those women and their big boobs to take over, just like in high school when the cheerleaders would get around him after a game.
And Felix was leading, Robert and me behind as we went up the long staircase. I heard Danny say my name. Red answered I’d be right back. Then another guy was jogging up the stairs. They showed me the rooms, bright, mattresses on the floor. A nursery with a baby bed for the little one downstairs. A big room with egg cartons stapled to the walls where they jammed.
Robert picked up a guitar, and the other one sat at the drums and Robert played a couple of riffs and he was kind of good, but I didn’t know anything, and the drummer started in and they jammed around a little, then Robert had to rip some Hendrix sounds.
“You like Hendrix, little mama,” Felix said in my ear. He’d disappeared for a minute, now he was all slicked up, a long dress on, and his frizzy hair in a ponytail.
Robert was still bent over the guitar making a lot of noise. The drummer grinned at me, and I couldn’t believe I was making such a splash. I said to Felix, “I have to find Danny.”
“Oh, oh don’t rush off,” he said, grabbing my arm. “Hey…come see my mural. It’s upstairs, pretty mama. Come up and see. I’d like to draw you. You’re like the Mona Lisa. A psychedelic Mona Lisa, man. Your face…your body…you inspire me…like a muse. What’s your name…Hilly? You’re like a flower, man, all full of life’s nectar. You’re all curves…I want to draw this, man, this skin…you’re what? What are you? Like Hawaiian?”
I was letting him lead me to the doorway because the drums were splitting my skull.
The guitar stopped. “Where you goin’?” Robert said to me or Felix, I couldn’t tell his eyes were so loaded and barely open. He even weaved on his feet a little.
“Art is calling, man,” Felix said.
“Oh no, no, no, man,” Robert said, the guitar strap hanging around his neck. “She don’t….” he belched. “Leave her here. Hilly.” He belched again and took the guitar off and set it against the wall. This whole time the drummer hadn’t let up. I could feel the pressure in my head building.
Drummer was yelling for Robert to pick up the guitar and play.
Felix tugged on my arm and I heard Robert, “Hilly…don’t go with that asshole.”
“Ignore him,” Felix said pulling me along to another skinny flight of stairs.
I stopped there. “I…I need to get back….” I turned to go back down.
Felix said, ‘no,’ a bunch of times, grabbing my arm again and pulling. “C’mon, Mama. I want to paint you…paint on you, man.”
I worked my arm free of him. “Um…no thanks.”
I heard rapid steps pounding their way up. “What the hell, man?” Danny said looking between me and Felix. “Hilly…I couldn’t find you.”
Robert was saying, “It’s nothing. I’m taking care of her.”
“I’m gonna paint her, man,” Felix said to Danny. “Don’t possess…and oppress. You can watch, man. But don’t interfere. This little mama…she’s got a right to be free, man.” He was pulling me toward the stairs again.
Danny charged forward and grabbed Felix’s arm. Felix was bigger but Danny was just more in control of it. “Let her go,” he said.
Felix let me go and held his hands up like Danny had a gun. Robert yelled at the drummer to stop. There was a final crash like the guy threw the sticks, then he started to argue with Robert.
“C’mon,” Danny said to me. “They want to keep the dogs. Come on.”
He held my hand as we quickly went down the stairs. Was this it? Was I just going to leave my Sooner in this crazy place?
Sooner was lying on the cushion we’d been sharing. Her puppies were gathered around her and the women were gathered around the dogs petting and cooing.
Dickens was like the Marlin Perkins explaining each pup—how different they were from each other. This crowd loved that idea.
The woman who had been nursing told me, “We’ll take good care of them. Robert will let Danny know when they’re weaned. We won’t keep all of them…but we have a lot of people come around. We can find homes and you can help with that. We’ll let you know. You can come out and see them any time you want,” she said.
“Thanks,” I said. I went into a speech about what a great dog Sooner was, but they were barely listening. The pipe was ready and they were drifting toward it.
“Don’t worry,” the woman said, “they’re a peaceful group. And I can’t do anything with the nursing so I look out for things. It’s a cool scene here.”
“Yeah,” Danny said, tension in his jaw from having just confronted Felix, not that I’d needed him too, but still he had done it. “We better get goin’,” he said to me.
I nodded. I went to Sooner and patted her head. “Bye old girl. I’ll visit soon.”
She looked away. She was more interested in her pups. A second story window opened and Felix called out, “Hey Mama, you ever get free come and find me.”
Danny flipped him off and we kept walking to the car. Dickens thought this was hysterical.
We all got in the front seat. Danny started the car and we pulled onto the road. Dickens kept looking back in case Sooner followed, but she didn’t.
“I wonder how many owners she’s had,” Dickens said.
“Maybe lots,” Danny said. “It makes her more adaptable, you know? Like…she knows the ropes. It’s like she fit right in there.”
“Well one good thing,” Dickens said, “we get to eat supper at a restaurant.”
He took my hand in his grubby one. Danny already held my other.
“’Mod Squad,’” Dickens said, and Danny groaned.
Finding My Thunder 28
We were quiet on the ride home. The depressing fact that Sooner was out of my life was weighted with the relief that she had found a home where she would have a chance to raise her puppies and be loved.
It wasn’t perfect, but neither was my house, from day one if I was honest. I’d pretty much lived in fear that Lonnie would discover her and shoot her or drive her off. And at Naomi’s it was impossible.
Danny drove us to Corning and we went to a diner there. It was still risky cause Corning was where everyone went who wanted to get out of Ludicrous for a minute, but we were really hungry by now.
Soon as we went in there we saw Lauren and her family eating din
ner. Danny walked in front of me and Dickens and led us to a booth in the farthest corner. Lauren craned her neck to watch and her mouth was open.
When we sat, Danny was on one side, not moving over for me so I sat with Dickens. He smiled a little and grabbed a menu. He pretended to be engrossed so I figured he was worried about protecting me again and I softened up about it. I knew he was upset about me going upstairs, but I was ticked off too. Not a lot, but it had put something between us.
Dickens got hamburger and French fries. As he poked the beloved meal into his mouth and chewed non-stop he seemed thoughtful. He had a few questions…most of them to do with living naked and how cool that would be, but Danny told him to shut up and eat and he did. We all did. Or tried to. Danny just picked around. I’d never seen him waste food.
“Are you alright?” I asked him.
“Yeah,” he answered but he pushed his plate over to Dickens and that one polished it off.
Once we got to Danny’s house he told Dickens to get out.
“Can I still sleep in your room? Please, please?” Dickens said.
A little girl came out of the house then. “Danny,” she called, “Sukey is on the phone and he wants to talk to you. Mom says to hurry up and get in here.”
“What?” Danny complained hitting the steering wheel and turning the car off. “I’ll be right back,” he said to me all crabby.
“I’ll just walk home,” I said.
“No,” he said firmly. “I want to talk to you.”
I sat back in the seat and ended up alone, which gave me time to look at the house. Annie popped her head out the door and waved and held up a Nancy Drew book and I waved back. Her hair was in curlers. She waved once more and popped back in the tired metal screen door. The whole place looked tired, like too many feet trampled the grass into the earth. It was a solid house but the way it was settled it looked like it had just let out a big sigh.
Danny was in there at least five minutes. When he emerged I didn’t like the scowl on his face.
