“I need to leave,” he said, standing. “I shouldn’t see you again until it is over.”
“If you really want to help, then you’ll talk to my friend Henry.” I stood. “He may have some information for the cops. If he gives you info, can you give it to the police?”
“Maybe.”
“How can he contact you?”
“I stay at the Windordorf Hotel on the first Monday of every month. He can call the front desk and leave me a message. I always check my messages. I don’t meet people at my apartment.”
“Thank you. I’ll let him know.”
He hugged me tightly, but I kept my arms at my sides and didn’t return the embrace. “I’m sorry we met like this,” he said. “I do love you.”
I pulled away. “I wish I could say the same.”
I left and walked in the opposite direction of my father. I’d be leaving for California in the morning. I’d have no time to talk to Gabe before then. Even if I did, I wouldn’t know where to start.
Chapter 33
Fiona
On my way to work on Tuesday, I saw a homeless man sitting under the sidewalk scaffolding on the corner. I didn’t have any money to put in his cup that he clutched, because I didn’t carry any cash. Since it was the corner where my work was, I couldn’t avoid him.
Although I would see the occasional down-and-out person, it was rare that I would see them on the way to work. For one thing, work was a short three blocks away from my apartment, so my chance of spotting one was slim. To top it off, the police did frequent checks of our area on horseback, which helped to keep the squatters away.
This dirty man lay next to his shopping cart, which held a few items. He had a cord attached to it on his belt loop. The advertisement for an optical center on the front of the wire basket had a close-up shot of a woman looking through glasses. A slogan, Improve your view and let Dr. Harris keep an eye on you! was underneath the photo.
As I got closer to him, he fluttered his eyes open and shook the cup of change. He looked straight at me with his piercing blue eyes. Mesmerized by them—they were almost as clear as water—I shivered. I looked away, hoping he’d be gone soon.
It was the third consecutive day I had added the vitamin supplement that Daisy had recommended to my morning cup of coffee. I’d sworn off taking sleeping pills after my extremely dilated pupils and grogginess from the almost overdose. Last night, I had naturally slept for seven hours, and I woke up feeling rested. After my espresso, I ran around work and got nearly double the number of tasks done that I usually did.
After three, I stopped drinking caffeine so I could wind down for the rest of the day. It allowed for better sleep.
Later that night, Bridget came over with some of the members of Celtic Crescendo. They were a sight for sore eyes. Oh, how I’d missed them. I missed playing my violin, and my heart ached to do it again. Tears of joy poured out when I saw her.
“Bridget!” I hugged her as the others came in behind her.
“We can see who her favorite is,” Peter teased.
“Yeah, well, what are you going to do?” I chuckled.
Tonya came in last, carrying a case of Guinness. She set it down on the kitchen table. “I was surprised to see a bum panhandling outside your apartment. He had a cart. Have you seen this guy hanging around?”
“Unfortunately, I have. He was near my job earlier, and when I got home, I saw him a block away from my place. I’m hoping it’s temporary and he finds somewhere else to go.”
Bridget sat on the couch and pulled markers out of her purse. “We can sign your cast if you want.”
“That would be great.” Every time I looked at the cast, it reminded me that I was hurt because of my father’s stupidity. Cam died because of it. Making it look different would be a welcome change. I sat beside her. She wrote, Get well soon because we miss you. “Believe me, I really miss playing with you guys,” I said.
“When do you come back?” Tonya asked as she sat down, took the marker, and wrote, Two violins are always better than one.
“About a week. It’s already been too long.”
Dan said, “My turn.” He squeezed in on the couch and wrote on the cast.
“You have a message on your machine. It’s blinking,” Bridget said. She opened a bottle of Guinness and took a drink.
“Yeah, it’s for Amber.”
“Where is she, work?” Dan asked.
“No, she’s visiting her family in California. The message is from Gabe, her new man.”
The band members looked at each other with wide eyes.
“We don’t have to talk about that,” Bridget said.
“I can talk about it. I don’t know if I’ll ever love anyone as much as Cam again, but I can talk about it. Love is a good thing.”
“Maybe, but you’re the only Irish person I know who doesn’t drink alcohol to help you get through a rough time,” Tonya said.
We chuckled. It was the first time I laughed since Cam died, and it felt good.
After they finished their beers and we had pizza, they gathered up the trash to take it out on their way downstairs. “You don’t have to do that,” I said.
“No biggie,” Dan said, putting the trash outside my door.
“We’ll tell her later,” Tonya whispered to Bridget, barely loud enough for me to hear. They both looked my way and laughed.
“Tell me what?” I asked.
“What?” Tonya asked.
“You said ‘tell her later’ and looked at me.”
“No, she didn’t say that. You must have misheard,” Bridget said.
Why did Bridget lie to me?
Chapter 34
Amber, earlier in California
It felt like old times to eat dinner with Isadora and her family. Camille had gotten taller since I left. After dinner, Phillip, my brother-in-law, went out with his friends, so we had a girls’ night. Camille went to bed, but Isadora and I stayed up.
“I don’t think you appreciate the quiet until you’ve been to a big city.” I sat on the recliner, sipping wine.
“Do you ever just block it out?” Isadora asked, curled up on the couch with her wine glass.
“Eventually. If I didn’t, I’d probably go insane.”
We had a lot of catching up to do. Since Camille was asleep, I could open up to my sister. The conversation about seeing our estranged father and the fire at the pub wasn’t something I wanted to discuss in front of my young niece. She was an innocent child who didn’t need to hear about adult problems.
“I have so much to tell you,” I said to Isadora.
“You’ve said so much already.” Her eyes widened. “The city seems full of life and adventure. Our life is basically a steady routine. Not that I’m complaining.”
“Ever since I moved to Manhattan, it hasn’t been what I’d call normal.” I sipped my wine then put it down on the coaster. “The pub had a fire.”
“Oh my god, Amber.” Isadora furrowed her eyebrows. “Were you there when it happened?”
“I was closing,” I explained. “All the other workers had gone home. The smoke made me pass out.”
“How did you get out?” she asked. She took a sip of her wine.
“A fireman rescued me. His name is Gabe.” I smiled, thinking of him wearing his uniform. As I thought of him accepting money from my father, my mouth moved into a frown.
“Thank God.” She tilted her head. “How do you know his name, though?”
“He came to check on me after that. I had to spend the night at the hospital. They put a tube down my throat to clear my airway.” I pushed my shoulders up to my neck, remembering the gag reflex I had during the horrible ordeal.
“I’m just glad you’re alive.” She patted my hand, which sat on the armrest.
“Me too.”
“What about the pub? How much damage was there?” She put her drink down on the end table.
“The kitchen and part of the dining area was pretty bad. Henry’s already do
ne some renovations. He has part of it open for business again.”
It was time to mention seeing our father. I preferred to ease into that conversation. After much thought on the best way to approach the subject, I chose to incorporate it into the discussion by relating it to my relationship with Gabe. “I’m actually dating the fireman who rescued me. Or, at least, I was. I don’t know how I feel about Gabe anymore. I was falling in love with him until our father admitted he paid Gabe to keep tabs on me.”
“What?” Isadora eyes widened. “My god, you saw our father?”
“Yeah, he looks the same, but he’s older. He wears glasses now. His hair is gray, and he still dresses like it’s the 1950s. He wears fedora hats.”
“Who cares what he looks like?” Her face was flushed. “What the hell did he have to say for himself? He left us and never came back,” she said through clenched teeth. She grabbed a throw pillow on the couch next to her and wrapped her arms around it, squeezing it until her knuckles turned white. “He paid someone to check on you. Why didn’t he talk to you? Let me guess—he was afraid you wouldn’t speak to him. It would serve him right if you ignored him and walked away.”
“Yeah, he was afraid I wouldn’t speak to him. That’s the excuse he used.” There was no way I would worry Isadora about the pub’s mob connections and our father’s warning about that. I continued, “He saw me at the pub and said I looked like Mother, which is a compliment, except I couldn’t care less about what he thinks. I told him what I thought of his opinions. I gave him one hell of a verbal lashing.” She released the pillow and I came over to sit next to her.
“Did he ask about me? I know I shouldn’t care, but I guess a small part of me does.”
“No, he didn’t. I’m sorry that you didn’t come up.” I saw the glimmer of hope in Isadora’s eyes fade. She took her glass and downed the rest of her drink. “Our meeting was brief,” I explained. “If we would have had more time, I’m sure he would have asked about you.” I tried to soften the blow to Isadora’s ego.
“Do you think you’ll see him again?”
I shook my head. “Not if I can help it.”
“I don’t blame you.”
I needed to change the subject. “Gabe is a different story. I don’t know what to think about him reporting to Father about my well-being. In the beginning, Father was paying him. The last time he tried to give Gabe money, Gabe refused it, and he mentioned something about love.”
Her eyes got big. “He loves you. He stopped accepting the money because he fell in love with you.”
“We love each other. But before that happened, he did accept money for dating me. That’s what bothers me. It should have bothered him.”
“Maybe our father seemed so desperate to connect with his daughter that Gabe gave in to his scheme. Did Gabe know it was our father paying him?”
“No, Father lied and told Gabe he was an old family friend who promised my father he would check in on me. He also told Gabe that I wouldn’t talk to my father, due to what happened in the past. Still, why would Gabe allow himself to be put in the middle of a daughter-and-father relationship that was clearly screwed up?”
“Father must have been convincing, and Gabe was sympathetic.”
I thought of how our father could be persuasive. He did convince Mother that he was an insurance agent, which was a lie of epic proportions—one I wasn’t ready to tell Isadora, yet. I could kind of understand how Father could manipulate Gabe.
“Care to share your thoughts?” Isadora asked.
“If Gabe was sympathetic, then it does mean that he must have a big heart. It also must mean that he assumes the best in people, even when he probably shouldn’t.”
“What he did in the beginning for our father was an act of charity?”
“You could look at it that way, I guess.” I shrugged. “He is kind and generous. Then again, seeing anything from our father’s point of view doesn’t come easily. The man walked out on us and never returned. I certainly wouldn’t take his side on anything.”
“Me either, but I doubt Gabe knows the whole story. Maybe you should tell him.” She nudged me with her elbow.
Isadora had no idea what she was really saying. In order to tell Gabe the whole story, I’d have to tell him about Father—not to mention the whole mob situation. Of course, after that, I’d seem like a train wreck. Would he even want to stick around? Would he want me to run and hide, like Father did?
“Seems like a heavy conversation to have after only dating a short while. He doesn’t know that I saw him talking to Father, but I don’t think I can avoid having this talk with Gabe. But if you were me, would you still want to date him?”
“Well, he did refuse the money the last time Father offered it, right?”
“He did.”
“So, Gabe helped a desperate stranger and fell in love with a girl. Then he stopped accepting the money. If you think his feelings for you are genuine, then yes, I’d say keep seeing him. There is also another factor we haven’t discussed. And it’s a major one.”
“You must be talking about whether we did it or not.” I thought about how his body fit perfectly inside of mine. Unwittingly, I let out a soft moan.
“I’ll take that as a very satisfied yes.”
I smiled. “He certainly knows how to use what God gave him.”
“Maybe it was fate that Gabe saved you from the fire. Father asking him to check in on you could have been fate too.”
“Thanks, Isadora.” I grinned. “I needed a fresh perspective.”
“You’re welcome. Besides, I’d like to meet this handsome fellow.” She sighed.
“I’d like that. You should come to the city. We can do all the tourist stuff. There’s plenty I still haven’t done yet, like go see the Statue of Liberty. We can go see a show, and you can get all types of food at all hours of the night. The Jewish delis are amazing.” I licked my lips and thought of the best brisket I had in the city.
“Sounds amazing.” Her eyes dimmed. “I do have a confession to make.”
“What’s that?”
“Sometimes, I wish you’d move back home and live with us like old times.” She leaned over, putting her head on top of mine.
“I miss you guys too.” I put my head on her shoulder and snuggled up to her. “But moving there has been what I needed to get on with my life after—”
“I know that you had to get away from the memories of him. Jack wrecked you. But look at you now, moving on with your life, and making it in the big city. You’re so far away from home, but brave enough to go for it. I just miss you.”
We sighed deeply in unison. “I’ll always feel the same.” I sat up and looked at her. “Still, I’m glad I did it, because I proved to myself that I could. Although I’m not sure if Manhattan will become my home, I’m willing to stay there until I decide. I thought I would know by my next birthday. Somehow, I think that decision may take longer.”
“You’re probably still adjusting to the city. I bet you’re wrong, and you will know by your next birthday. Maybe even before then.”
Could the cops take down the mob before my next birthday? Somehow, I doubted it. The only way I would see the city in a positive light was if the mob got what they deserved. If they didn’t, then I would leave. And I’d never come back. Would Gabe go with me?
Even if the cops did arrest the mob, there was something I would need to be comfortable in New York. “I do know one thing for certain. If I’m going to stay in New York for a long time, I’m going to need a bigger place.”
“If you move to a bigger place in New York, that means you’re staying, maybe forever.” Tears welled up in her eyes.
“Forever is a long time to be away from family.” Tears pricked my eyes. “Not forever, but it will mean I’m going to stay for a long time.”
She hugged me tightly. “As long as you’re happy, and I still get to be your big sister, then I’m happy.”
“You’ll always be my big sister, no matter where
I live.” I embraced her back.
∞ ∞ ∞
I flew back to New York. On the way, I thought about how to tell Gabe everything. It was a substantial amount of information. Nothing about it was good. If our relationship was going to last, I needed to be honest with him. I would rather get it all out in the open than divulge bits and pieces over time. The sooner I talked to him, the better, because if I waited too long, it would seem like I was holding secrets back from him.
Would he understand why I couldn’t run and hide from my friends who had mob connections? He did have a big heart, so he should be able to relate to my altruistic approach to the dilemma, right?
Then again, if the tables were turned, I wouldn’t want him in a situation like mine. In fact, I would be afraid of what would happen to him because being around shady people often leads to questionable situations or worse.
I kept this up for the entire flight.
Of course, Gabe would be concerned that I’d get dragged into a mess. That was what happened to Cam. His situation became so dire it led to his death. My god, am I going to have to discuss that with Gabe? If I was going to be totally honest with him, I would.
None of this would make Gabe feel any better. It would make him feel worse, more worried, and perhaps desperate to get me away from my friends.
So far, I had managed to be unharmed by the mob, despite my friends’ access to them. I could understand why Gabe would want me to disconnect from the people in my life that had mob relations or associates, but I was in too deep. Henry needed my friendship and support more than ever. Fiona was still recovering from losing Cam. Darlene was worried that Daisy working with the sister of Alberto Bugiardini could lead to problems.
I hoped Gabe would stick around even when I couldn’t walk away from my situation, but the circumstance was like a twister building momentum, destroying everything it touched. It was a miracle that I hadn’t been directly affected.
City in the Middle: Book Two in the Amber Milestone Series Page 20
