by Jo Ann Brown
“We talked about her selling me her goats’ milch.”
Harley let out a cry and Gabriel jumped to his feet, almost grateful for the interruption despite being worried about why Harley was crying. The boppli was far quieter than his sister, who wanted everyone to know when she was upset.
His anxiety eased when he realized the tiny boy had lost his hold on his toes and was frustrated with trying to capture them again. Kneeling, Gabriel guided Harley’s foot toward his fingers. The boppli grabbed them and gurgled with contentment. Gabriel gave the kinder kisses before standing again.
“You’re going to spoil them,” Michael said with a fake frown. “Aren’t daeds supposed to set rules for their kinder?”
He mumbled something in response. It must have satisfied his brother because Michael turned the discussion to the list of supplies they’d need before they began their first job.
Gabriel went to check on the formula. He kept his back to his brother, not wanting his expression to give any hint to the truth nobody living except him knew. He wasn’t the bopplin’s daed.
Chapter Three
Leanna shouldn’t have felt so proud of herself. She was well aware of the fact hochmut was wrong for a plain person, but she couldn’t help congratulating herself for treating Gabriel as she would have any customer.
For the past four days, Gabriel had come to the house every morning to collect milch for his bopplin.
For the past four days, she’d asked him how the kinder were, and if he and Michael were getting settled in their new home.
For the past four days, he’d given her trite answers and she’d accepted them before watching him leave.
All nice and as indifferent as if they’d met for the first time when he came to inquire about purchasing milch. Because, the truth was, she wasn’t sure if he was the same man she’d known two years ago. The thought almost brought an ironic laugh from her as she finished milking the last goat in the pen.
If she’d known Gabriel as well as she’d thought she had two years ago, she wouldn’t have been blindsided by him marrying someone else.
Hearing the rattle of buggy wheels, Leanna pushed her way out of the pen. She put down the buckets to double-check the gate was secured. Goats were escape artists, and she didn’t want to give them any opportunity to sneak out.
Either she was late this morning or Gabriel was early. Usually she had the milch portioned out before he arrived.
She waited to cross the driveway until he’d slowed the black horse pulling his buggy. When he stepped out, he didn’t wave to her. Instead, he turned to look inside the vehicle. Had he brought the bopplin with him? If so, it was the first time since he’d come to see if she’d sell him milch.
Setting the buckets on the back porch, she went to the buggy. Two car seats had been secured to the back bench. She could see tiny wiggling feet, but not their faces because the seats were set so the kinder looked toward the rear. Families carried their littlest kinder on the laps of parents or older siblings. She’d never given any thought to how bopplin would travel with only a driver.
“May I see the twins?” she asked.
“Sure.”
She unlatched the door and started to raise it. When she stood on tiptoe to stretch it over her head, he took it and lifted it up to its full extent. Having him stand so close threatened to sweep her breath away, and she had to focus on breathing in and out so he wouldn’t notice he still had that effect on her. She didn’t want him to think she was a dummkopf for not ridding herself of her attraction for him. If only it were as easy to turn off as the lights on his buggy...
“Oh, my!” she gasped when she saw the bopplin. Both had inherited Gabriel’s red hair, and they regarded her with big, brown eyes so much like his. “They’re cute!”
“I think so.”
“Of course you do. You’re their daed.”
“Ja, there’s that.”
She tore her eyes from the adorable youngsters to look at Gabriel. When he didn’t smile, she wondered if she’d offended him with her praise. He’d never been stiff-necked before. He’d been an open book when she first met him.
Her smile vanished as she reminded herself that wasn’t true. She’d fooled herself then about him, believing she’d known him when she hadn’t. Otherwise, why had she assumed he cared about her?
How wrong she’d been!
She blinked hot tears as she focused on the kids again. Harley was dressed in a loose garment that would make changing his diapers easier. The little girl wore a white schlupp schotzli, a tiny pinafore apron, over a dark blue dress. The little girl grinned and made gooing sounds. Leanna was lost as the boppli’s smile warmed her heart, which had been as cold as winter since she’d heard about Gabriel’s plans to marry.
Not waiting to ask Gabriel’s permission, Leanna reached in and began to unbuckle the little girl. He started to do the same for Harley. Both kids bounced with their excitement at being released from the seats.
Leanna cradled the little girl for a moment before the active kind wanted to sit up. Balancing the boppli on her hip as she once had done her youngest sibling, she let herself enjoy the moment. Kenny was twelve now. She’d held plenty of other kinder since then, but there hadn’t been the same knowing that having this kind in her arms was meant to be.
Until now.
“Her name is Heidi,” Gabriel said, helping her shove away the thought that should never have come into her mind.
“Harley and Heidi. Those aren’t common names.”
“My daed’s grossdawdi was named Harley, and my mamm’s great-aenti’s name was Heidi. From what I’ve been told, she was given that name because it was her mamm’s favorite story growing up.”
Curious why both twins had been named for Gabriel’s family instead of one for Freda’s, Leanna didn’t want to ruin the moment by reminding him of whom he’d lost. “Keeping a name alive in a family is a nice way to honor those who came before us. Annie and I were named for Grossmammi Inez’s favorite aentis. It created a connection for us though they died before we were born.”
She stiffened as she realized what she’d said.
He cupped her shoulder with his broad hand, creating another unexpected connection. “Don’t think you have to choose every word so it won’t remind me of Freda’s death. I can’t forget it.”
“I’m sorry. I know it’s impossible to forget such a loss.”
Gently squeezing her shoulder, he said, “Danki. I’m sorry you, too, learned about such losses when you were young.” He lifted his fingers from her shoulder, and the bridge between them vanished. “Can we get the milch? I know you don’t want to be late for work.”
Leanna motioned for Gabriel to come inside. He lowered the buggy’s back and latched it, then followed her. She paused by the steps and looked at the forgotten milch buckets. Her mind was in such a turmoil she couldn’t think of how to handle both of them while she held Heidi.
“You get one, and I’ll get the other,” Gabriel said from behind her.
“Danki.”
She used the time it took to walk up the steps and through the mudroom to try to compose herself. When she entered the kitchen where her family was finishing breakfast, Grossmammi Inez looked past her to smile at Gabriel. Annie arched a single brow and remained silent.
Juanita, who at fourteen was already taller than her older sisters, came forward to take Heidi so Leanna could divide up the milch. Cooing at the little girl, Juanita and Kenny made faces to make the bopplin laugh.
Leanna’s arms felt empty as she put her pail next to the one Gabriel had carried into the house. She poured out the milch and stored the amount she had left over for making soap in the freezer. She put the small containers she’d filled for Gabriel on the counter.
He reached for them, then halted. “I need some advice on making the formula. When I follow the recipe, it comes
out so thick the bopplin have real trouble sucking it from the bottle.”
“Do you have a bottle with you?”
He held up a finger, then rushed out of the kitchen. Returning before she’d finished rinsing out the buckets, he checked the room to see who was holding his kinder, and his shoulders relaxed when he saw they were still being entertained by Juanita and Kenny. He was a gut daed.
Then his eyes caught hers. So many questions raced through his gaze, questions she wasn’t ready to answer. To do so would upset the fragile status quo, and doing that could make the situation more uncomfortable.
If possible.
* * *
Gabriel cut his eyes away before Leanna discerned too much about the secrets he hid. She’d always known what he was thinking and feeling before he did. Before, it had been charming. Now it could destroy the rickety sculpture of half-truths he’d built to protect those he’d promised he’d never hurt.
“Let me see the bottle,” Leanna said, holding out her hand.
He gave it to her and watched as she tilted it and tried to sprinkle the formula into the sink. Nothing came out. She righted the bottle and walked into the living room. She got a needle from a sewing box beneath what looked like the beginning of a quilt top, and he recalled how she’d talked about quilting. She’d been especially fond of patterns that were challenging for a left-handed needleworker.
What else had he forgotten about her in the mad rush to become a husband and a daed?
Hearing Heidi squeal with delight from where she sat on Inez’s lap while the woman who must be Leanna’s twin held Harley, he relaxed again.
“You need a bigger hole in the nipple,” Leanna said, pulling his attention to her, “so the bopplin don’t have to work so hard to get the milch out.” She used the needle to demonstrate, sticking it in and wiggling it about to enlarge the hole.
“That’s a gut idea.” He took the bottle and tried getting the formula out again. As before, nothing emerged. “It’s still too small.”
Her forehead threaded. “It should have worked. It’s what others have done when their bopplin have had trouble with formula. Are you sure you’re making it correctly?”
“I’m following the recipe I was given by the doktor’s office.” He fished a copy out of his pocket. He’d been carrying it with him in the hope he could find someone to watch the twins before he had to go to work in West Rupert in a few days. So far his search had been unavailing.
“Let me see it. Maybe I can figure out if there’s a problem.”
At Leanna’s words, laughter burst from everyone in the kitchen.
When Inez’s laugh was cut short by her uneven breathing, Gabriel found a glass and filled it with water. He set it in front of her, far enough away that Heidi couldn’t grab it.
“Danki,” she said in a raspy whisper. She flashed a loving smile toward her kins-kind. “You don’t want to ask Leanna to help mix up the formula.”
“Why not?”
“What my grossmammi is saying,” Leanna interjected with a wry glance at Inez, “is that I don’t cook.”
He was shocked. He’d never met a plain woman who made such a claim. Most Amish families considered the kitchen the center of family life, and the women wanted to fill it—and those who entered it—with delicious food.
“Not at all?” he asked.
“Not much. Despite what the rest of the family thinks, I can cook a few things. My sisters have always enjoyed cooking, so while they’ve made our meals I’ve handled other chores around the house. However...” She flashed a jesting frown at her sisters and brother. “I can read a recipe.”
More laughter swirled around the kitchen before her younger sister and brother left to get ready for school. Footsteps pounded up the stairs at the same time the first-floor bathroom’s door closed.
Despite their teasing, when Leanna took the recipe and began to prepare the formula, she seemed far more competent than he was. He wondered if he was supposed to help her or if he should offer to take over for Inez and Annie, who were feeding the twins small bites of oatmeal from a bowl set between them. He halted himself before he warned them about the bopplin eating cows’ milch. They knew that.
Leanna put water in a pot and reached for the box of gelatin. She spooned out two small spoonfuls.
“No,” he said. “That’s not enough.”
“What?” She pointed to the recipe. “It’s the right amount. This says two teaspoons.”
He stared at the piece of paper. “Teaspoons? I thought it said tablespoons.”
“No wonder the formula is so thick. You put in three times too much gelatin.”
“That would do it, ain’t so?” Shaking his head, he wondered what other mistakes he’d made when he was too tired to think straight.
Inez pushed herself to her feet. Keeping her hands on the table to hold herself steady, she said, “You’re a busy man, Gabriel.” He wanted to hug her for comprehending what he couldn’t bring himself to say. “If you want, I can make up the formula and send it with Leanna each day.”
He looked at Leanna. For a moment, he thought she was going to protest, but she was silent, not wanting to gainsay her grossmammi. Leanna always had been careful of what she said, thinking before she spoke. Another thing that hadn’t changed, which pleased him. He’d respected her for not reacting to everything said or done around her, as others did.
But someone had to this time.
“That’s not necessary, Inez,” he said. “I can stop by and get it.”
“Nonsense! She drives right past your house on her way to work.”
“Where do you work?”
“I do housecleaning for several Englisch families in Salem,” Leanna replied. “I’ll be able to drop off the formula every day, except Sunday, as long as I can have access to your refrigerator.”
“I’ll make sure whoever I get to watch the bopplin knows you’re coming by.”
“Watching the bopplin?”
“You didn’t think Michael and I are taking them to work with us, did you?”
When Leanna looked at him with hurt in her eyes, he knew he should have been more like her and thought before he blurted out. Rather than question her, he should have been grateful that she’d agreed when her grossmammi had volunteered her. Not having to go to the Waglers’ farm every morning would allow him to spend a few extra minutes with the twins.
“Who’s doing that?” Grossmammi Inez asked.
“I’m not sure,” he had to admit. “Do you know someone who would be gut with them? I’d heard about a couple of people, but they can’t help now.”
“Let me think and ask around.”
“Danki.” He prayed Inez would find someone, because he wasn’t sure what he was going to do when Monday rolled around and he had to be at work in West Rupert.
* * *
The door was barely closed behind Gabriel and Kenny, who’d offered to carry one of the bopplin out to the buggy, when Grossmammi Inez sighed and said, “That poor man needs help. Someone must step up.”
“I will,” Juanita said as she reached for her bonnet so she and Kenny could head to school once he returned from helping Gabriel.
“You’ve got to graduate first.” Leanna put her arm around her sister’s shoulders.
“I will be soon!”
“I know. It’s gut of you to offer, but he needs help now.”
“True, but who’s going to help him?” her younger sister cried out in frustration.
“I will.”
Leanna clamped her hands over her mouth as everyone in the room turned to stare at her. She’d never said anything about her attraction to Gabriel to her family, because that was a topic never discussed until a wedding was announced. Still, everyone in her family had to have been aware of how she wanted to be with Gabriel. Nobody could have missed how she’d deflated when ti
dings of Gabriel’s plans to marry Freda were announced.
“You?” Annie asked, wiping her hands on her apron. “Are you sure about this, Leanna?”
“He needs help. Those kinder have to have someone to watch over them. I can do that.” I may even be able to find a way to forgive him. Pretending she didn’t care about him and was interested in marrying someone else hadn’t worked to end the disquiet in her soul. Maybe letting go of her anger would ease the blight burning inside her and eroding her happiness.
“What about your cleaning jobs?” Kenny asked as he walked in and picked up his plastic lunch container.
“What about your goats?” Juanita grabbed her own lunch box.
“What about you?” Annie grasped Leanna by the shoulders. “Are you going to get more involved with Gabriel and his family?”
“Enough!” Grossmammi Inez tapped her cane against the floor. “God guided Gabriel to Harmony Creek. It must have been because He knew there would be people here to assist Gabriel with his twins. We can’t step aside when God gives the opportunity to be His servants in helping our neighbors.”
Leanna flushed. “I didn’t offer because—”
“Why you offered matters less than that you did offer, Leanna. Fixing the details can wait. Get Gabriel in here so we can talk about it with him.” She waved a wrinkled hand toward the door. “Hurry! I hear his buggy leaving.”
Leanna obeyed, though every cell in her body protested chasing after Gabriel’s buggy. As she ran out of the house, she wondered if someone falling off a building felt like she did. She couldn’t fight the idea she was rushing headlong into her doom, but how could she do nothing when those adorable bopplin needed someone to watch them?
She doubted she would have caught up enough for him to hear her shouts over the clatter of the wheels on the stones if their puppy, Penny, hadn’t raced past her, barking.
When Gabriel slowed the buggy so he didn’t hit the dog, Leanna shouted. He drew in the horse. As the buggy rolled to a stop, she ran to the driver’s side.
