by Jo Ann Brown
“Ja.” If she had discovered the truth about the pledge he’d made to Aden, then it’d be better for him to find out. How had she learned about what nobody else living knew?
She crooked her finger and motioned for him to lean closer. When he did, she said, “It’s no secret you’re succeeding much better than you seem to think you are.”
* * *
Leanna couldn’t keep from smiling when she saw the amazement and then relief in Gabriel’s eyes. Was he so worried about being a daed? He must be, and she must make sure she pointed out—in a casual manner that would not lead him to suspect she was trying to bolster his confidence—what he was doing well for his kinder.
Putting the bopplin into the wagon gave her the excuse to move away from him before she did something crazy like running her fingers along his cheek or pressing her lips to it. She must have lost her mind to be thinking of doing such things when her twin and their friends were sitting ten feet away.
Gabriel reached for the wagon’s handle at the same time she did. His fingers closed over hers, and he arched his brows. Was he daring her to tug her hand away from his? Ja, he was!
Joy surged through her. This afternoon, he had become, for a few minutes, the man she’d walked out with, a man who chuckled and enjoyed teasing her. She’d begun to believe that man was gone and would never return. Hope filled her, something that hadn’t happened in so long she couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed the sensation.
“Do you think it’ll take two of us to pull the wagon up to the road?” he asked, his smile returning.
“We wouldn’t want it to slide backward and careen down the hill and into the water.”
“It might be the only way to get their clothing clean.” He glanced at the twins, and love for his kinder blossomed in his eyes.
How could he think he wasn’t a wunderbaar daed? She must make an effort to confirm that for him in the few days she had left before Juanita came to the farm to take her place.
Chapter Ten
Gabriel finished shaving and reached for a towel to wipe bits of suds out of his beard. He grimaced at his reflection in the downstairs bathroom. It was vanity to be annoyed that his beard looked uneven. Curling and red, the fine hair refused to fill in.
“You look fine,” teased Michael from beyond the open door. “It’s not as if it’s your kinder graduating today.”
“I don’t think I’m ready for teenagers yet.” He tossed the towel onto the side of the sink and put away his shaving cup and razor. Pulling his suspenders up over his shoulders and into place, he added, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”
“You’d better figure it out over the next twelve years because you’ll be facing every growing-up phase times two.”
“Danki for the reminder.” He glanced into the mirror to make sure his collar was straight. “As if I needed it.”
After going into the kitchen, he picked up his straw hat. He put it on his head before reaching down for the twins. Remembering how Leanna had taught him to pick up one, then the other, so he could carry both, he smiled at the bopplin.
“Let me help,” Michael said.
“Danki.” Gabriel motioned for his brother to take Heidi. His twin might tease him—a lot—but Gabriel was always able to depend on him to be there to help and to give his honest opinion. Honest? Gabriel wished he could be the same. If only Aden hadn’t asked him to promise not to reveal the truth that would hurt his daughter in the eyes of the community... The words had been repeating endlessly through his head for the past few days.
Again he longed to reach out to God for guidance. At first, his anger at his Heavenly Father had been a scaffold, holding him up during the trying days and weeks in the wake of Freda’s and Aden’s deaths. How could Gabriel have guessed at the time he’d been using that support to build a wall between him and God?
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Gabriel,” his brother said as they walked out to their buggy, “but I hope you’re prepared for today.”
“It’s not my graduation ceremony. I don’t have to worry about reciting today.”
Michael didn’t smile at Gabriel’s jest. “We’ve been walking on eggshells whenever Leanna’s in the house. You’re making such an effort to pretend you don’t share a past you might as well be wearing signs that say ‘Look at me. I’m over you.’” He scowled. “Of course, that would be a lie.”
“Half a one maybe.”
“You think you’re over her?” Michael made a rude sound deep in his throat. “I still don’t understand why you married Freda when you were in love with Leanna, but I’ve gotten tired of asking and getting the runaround. I’ve got gut eyes, and I can see you’re not over her.”
“I didn’t say that. I think she’s...” He didn’t want to say the words out loud. They’d be too final, too forever.
He knew if Leanna walked out the door tomorrow and treated him with the coolness she’d shown when he’d first gone to the Waglers’ farm to get goat milch, it would be better for them. He’d be able to keep the promises he’d made to Freda and to her daed, and Leanna could...
He was shocked he didn’t know what Leanna wanted for the rest of her life. Marriage, he assumed. A woman who was as gut with bopplin as Leanna was should have her own. Yet, he hadn’t seen any bachelors in the community paying her special attention. Were they out of their minds? Maybe Leanna wasn’t a great cook, but the only way to a man’s heart wasn’t through his stomach.
Then his own stomach cramped. Maybe she was walking out with someone. He didn’t know their neighbors well enough for them to pass along gossip from the Amish grapevine. The other unmarried men might not have taken notice of pretty Leanna because they knew one among them was courting her.
He couldn’t inquire himself or get Michael to ask. His brother would refuse to become involved. He’d made it clear he didn’t want to be part of what he called “the drama” any longer. To speak of Leanna to the other men in the settlement would be an announcement he was interested in her. He wasn’t going to risk hurting her as he had before, and until he knew what he wanted for his family, how could he even consider making her a part of it?
He’d make a greater mess of her life than he had with Freda’s. Hadn’t Paul written in his letter to the Ephesians that a man should love and sacrifice for his wife as Christ loved and sacrificed Himself for the members of His church?
And Gabriel had failed to do that.
* * *
Everyone in the small plain community had gathered for the first graduation ceremony at the school that sat not far from the banks of Harmony Creek. The air of expectation sent the scholars racing from one group of adults to the next, so excited they couldn’t stand still.
Leanna slowed the family’s crowded buggy as she reached the small white building that was the community’s school. She held her elbows close so she didn’t bump her grossmammi. Usually there weren’t more than two or three of them in the buggy at once. However, today Juanita had insisted she needed to ride because she didn’t want to get dusty walking the half mile to school. Kenny had decided he shouldn’t walk, either, though he wouldn’t explain why.
So she and Grossmammi Inez sat in the front seat while Juanita and Kenny were cramped with Annie in the back. She was glad Miriam had decided to hold the graduation picnic earlier in the week instead of after the ceremony. Otherwise, there would be casseroles and desserts piled in the buggy with them.
“Hold on tight,” she said as she turned the buggy off the road and onto the uneven ground where the scholars played ball.
Hearing groans from the rear, as well as laughter, she turned the horse toward where other buggies were parked. She gauged the distance to the school. It was farther than she’d hoped. Glancing at her grossmammi, she faltered. To say she was worried about Grossmammi Inez walking would embarrass the older woman.
“Waglers?” came a jov
ial shout.
Looking out the buggy, she saw Eli Troyer striding toward them. The man, who’d been ordained as the settlement’s first minister earlier in the year, was married to Miriam.
“We saved a spot up front for you,” Eli said when he came to stand beside the buggy.
“Danki.” She made sure she was facing Eli when she spoke, so he could read her lips.
He’d become so adept at it that it was possible to forget he’d suffered a hearing loss in the tragic accident that had killed his sister and brother-in-law. He had to concentrate on what people were saying, but, as he’d joked more than once, it behooved a minister to pay close attention to what was being discussed.
“I don’t need special consideration,” grumbled her grossmammi.
“Of course not,” Eli replied, “but we wanted to make sure our graduates’ families had the best seats today. We’ll never have another first graduation, so we want to celebrate it.” With a wave, he motioned for Leanna to drive to the spot he’d pointed out.
“This sounds,” Grossmammi Inez continued to complain, “like an excuse he and Miriam devised to make sure I got to the graduation on time.”
“And we should always be grateful to those who treat us with unexpected kindness,” Leanna said as she maneuvered the horse and buggy through the crowd. “I’m sure I’ve heard someone say that more than once.”
“Me, too,” said three voices from behind her.
The older woman chuckled and shook her head. “I should have known my own words would come back to taunt me one day.”
“Gut advice is...” She bit her lip as a little boy almost stepped in front of the horse before his daed grabbed him and pulled him out of the way.
“Always gut, even if you don’t want to listen to it,” her grossmammi finished with another laugh.
“I’ve heard that from someone wise, too.”
“Me, too!” crowed her siblings in unison from the back seat.
Everyone was laughing as Leanna stopped the buggy in the spot that Miriam pointed toward with a big smile.
As they piled out of the buggy, Juanita scanned the crowd. A pucker formed between her eyebrows.
“Isn’t Gabriel coming?” she asked.
“He said he was, and he keeps his word.” Usually, Leanna couldn’t help adding. She shoved the thought aside.
She needed to heed the advice she’d given Gabriel. Juanita’s graduation was a special moment, and thinking about anything else could mar it.
Offering her arm to her grossmammi, Juanita led the family into the schoolhouse. The desks had been pushed aside, and the benches they used for church had been arranged in the center of the room.
Leanna smiled as her younger sister almost ran to join the scholars by the teacher’s desk at the front. The older kinder took their places behind the little ones, and Leanna wondered how long Miriam and her assistant, Grace, had practiced with her scholars. It was an important day for her friend as well, because this was Miriam’s graduation, too. Leanna guessed her friend couldn’t wait to become a full-time wife to their minister.
Sitting near the end of bench next to Grossmammi Inez and Annie, Leanna scanned the room. Where was Gabriel? She didn’t see him or Michael or the bopplin.
Miriam walked to her desk and turned to the scholars, who looked at her eagerly. Grace, a petite blonde, stood on the other side of the scholars, ready to help when needed. Giving them a smile, Miriam shifted to face the parents and families who’d gathered in the schoolhouse. It would be celebrating the first anniversary of its opening in July because last year there had been an extra session to make up for days lost during the time the families were moving into the new settlement.
“Danki for coming today for Harmony Creek Hollow’s first ever graduation ceremony,” she said with a hint of pride no one would begrudge her today. “Our scholars have worked hard this year, and each one will be taking on new challenges in their new grades next year...except for our two graduates.” She aimed a smile at Juanita and at Eugene Yoder, the other graduate. “Juanita and Eugene will be facing challenges of their own, which I know they’re eager to begin. I doubt they’ll miss their deskwork, but I suspect they’ll recall fondly the softball games we’ve had this spring.”
Indulgent laughter rippled through the room, and Leanna knew she wasn’t the only one remembering the fun of being a scholar.
Miriam began the ceremony by asking her husband to say a prayer. Eli stood and spoke with his simple eloquence of how they needed God’s guidance at beginnings as well as endings. When he said, “Amen,” the scholars squared their shoulders as a group and began a hymn Leanna had also sung in school.
Leanna resisted looking around the room for Gabriel again. As they were in the second row, almost everyone would notice if she swiveled her head. Her nails cut into her palms, her fingers curled in frustration. She couldn’t believe he wasn’t going to keep his promise to Juanita. The only other reason he wouldn’t be here was if something had gone wrong.
Dear God, don’t let something have happened to the bopplin.
A hand on her shoulder brought her head up. Gabriel sat beside her, holding Heidi. The little girl raised her arms to Leanna, who took her before the kind could protest, interrupting the program.
Leaning toward her, Gabriel whispered, “I’m sorry we’re late. Our horse threw a shoe, and we had to get him back to the farm.”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s fine, but Michael and I ended up pushing and pulling the buggy ourselves to the house.”
Leanna put a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. The sound wouldn’t be welcome when the seven-year-olds were reciting the poems they’d written.
“How did you keep the twins from helping you?” she asked.
“Later,” he whispered. “I’ll give you the sad details.”
Turning her attention to the scholars let Leanna hide how much she looked forward to their conversation after the graduation ceremony. She rocked Heidi on her lap, keeping the boppli entertained, though Heidi seemed fascinated with the scholars. When they sang, the little girl did her best to join in with them despite being seemingly fixated on a single note.
As soon as the ceremony was over, Miriam invited the guests to join her, the scholars and Grace outside for refreshments. The kinder rushed out the door, and Leanna guessed there would be one additional softball game for the two graduates to join.
Most of the men went to play with the youngsters, a special treat when crops and haying kept the daeds busy until dark six days a week. Michael, carrying Harley, stood on the sidelines as teams were chosen.
Gabriel was waiting by the steps as Leanna emerged from the school with Heidi. When she walked toward him, he was smiling. She wondered if she’d ever get accustomed to the wunderbaar sight after so many days of nothing but frowns?
“I imagine,” she said with a feigned somber tone, “you’re going to have sore muscles tomorrow after your workout today.”
His smile broadened. “I’m glad everyone was already here, so nobody saw the dance Michael and I had to do as we pulled and pushed and checked to make sure the bopplin weren’t trying to escape.”
“It’s gut you have those car seats in your buggy to keep them in place.”
“Heidi has already managed to figure out how to loosen at least one strap. It won’t take her long, knowing her as I do, for her to learn how to release them all. And Harley somehow got half his clothes off, though he was strapped in. I don’t know how he manages it.”
“He starts undressing whenever he’s bored.”
“You could have warned me.”
She laughed. “Haven’t you noticed how many times when you’re coming in at night that I’m getting him dressed?”
“I thought he’d made a mess or something.”
“No. He likes to take off his clothes and thr
ow them at his sister. She thinks it’s hilarious.”
Before Gabriel could reply, Juanita raced up and flung her arms around him.
“You came! Danki!”
Again Leanna had to suppress her reaction. Not laughter this time, though Gabriel’s expression of shock at her sister’s exuberance was comical. A longing ached deep within her because she wanted to experience standing as close to him as her sister was. Would his warmth welcome her to lean against his sturdy chest?
She lowered her eyes before anyone could read her thoughts. God, she prayed, You know Your plan for me. I know it’s impatience that makes me ask You to reveal a bit of it to me, but I’m floundering. Please send me some guidance so I can live the life You want for me.
“Leanna!” A shout came from across the schoolyard.
Michael ran toward her. People opened a path for him as they stared in dismay at the horror on his face.
Leanna understood why when Michael skidded to a stop in front of her and held out Harley, who was an odd shade of gray.
“He’s choking on something!” Michael cried.
She shook her head. “I think he’s having trouble catching his breath.” Shoving Heidi into Gabriel’s arms, she took the other boppli. She sat on the ground and put him on her bent knee. She rubbed his back in slow, gentle circles. “What were you doing before he started gasping?”
“We were playing a game of tickle.”
“Was he laughing?”
“Ja.” Michael exchanged a glance with his brother, and this time Leanna guessed what the silent look meant. He was apologizing for whatever was happening to his nephew. “He was having fun and laughing pretty hard.”
Beneath her fingers, Harley shuddered as he drew in one breath, released it and then pulled in a second, deeper breath. The color in his face began to return to normal. Lifting him to her shoulder, she continued to caress his back as she stood.
