by Tara Lain
“Oh no, I’m sorry. I have meetings all day. But if tonight isn’t possible, perhaps after dinner tomorrow, or we can just cram on Monday.”
Jesus, Justice. Are you crazy? “Uh no, I can make tonight work. I just need to change a few things.”
“If it’s not terribly inconvenient, tonight is best. Shall we say eight?”
“Seven?”
“Uh, yes. I can arrange seven.”
“Where shall I meet you?”
There was a brief pause. Maybe René was considering the restaurant, and maybe he was weighing the fact that again, Merle wanted to have his car ready to escape. “How about Junot?”
“Sure. I’ll see you at seven.”
“I’m not sure when they start serving dinner, but perhaps seven will do.” His voice sounded just a little cool.
“See you then.” He hung up. Shit. I’ve got brass balls, and not in a good way. First I ask René to do me a favor, and then I hedge on what could be the most important meeting of my career. But it wasn’t just a meeting.
He collapsed back in the seat. What’s wrong with me? The guy likes me. He hasn’t made sex a condition of employment. Merle dropped his head on the steering wheel. It just feels like he has.
The fact was he’d often had sex with more than one guy at a time. Hell, he’d never been monogamous. So why can’t I sleep with René and then with Tom? Why did the idea make him feel like a fucking cheater? And if he was, on whom?
He pushed the button on his phone.
“Yes?”
“Hi, Mom. I spoke to René, and he said tomorrow’s great with him. I’ll make a reservation and—”
“No, dear. Let us do it. The concierge recommended a Japanese restaurant near our hotel. I’ll reserve for four at eight. Does that work?”
“Sure.”
“Will you let René know?”
“Yes, I’m having dinner with him tonight to discuss his notes for the film.”
“How lovely. He must place great faith in your opinion if he’s consulting you before the shooting begins.”
“Maybe so.” Hard to control his smile over his mother’s implied praise. God knew he’d heard little enough of it. “Text me the details.”
“Of course.”
“See you tomorrow.” He clicked off. Now he had to face the phone call he didn’t want to make most.
“WHY CAN’T I stay at the beach while you do this dumb dog thing?”
Tom shook his head at Lily. “Nope. You’ve spent enough time at the beach today, and there’s no reason why you can’t help me with the dogs.”
“Tom.” It sounded like she said Taw-om.
“I gave you my bed, remember?” It was a little joke between them, but he kind of meant it too. “I want to get done with this.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll help.” She crawled out of his truck and followed him into the low cinderblock building out on the Laguna Canyon Road. “Why are you in such a hurry anyway?”
Lily was great but really nosy. “I might go watch TV with the guys.”
She looked at him but didn’t say anything. Inside, Mrs. Hernandez was sitting at her desk behind the counter. Tom waved. “Hey, Mrs. H., this is my sister, Lily.”
She came out from behind and extended her hand. “Well, well, it’s great to meet you. I think I’d have known you anywhere. You two look alike.”
Lily pursed her lips. “Except Tom’s a giant.”
“Except for that.” Mrs. H. smiled. “Are you going to help us today, Lily?”
Lily gave Tom a look, but she nodded. “Yep.”
“Let’s get to work.” Tom grabbed the cleaning supplies from the front closet, then opened the door to the back with Lily after him. All the dogs barked at once, and she slapped her hands over her ears but kind of laughed. “Wow. There are so many.”
Tom nodded. “Yeah. There’s so many we can’t even keep them all. Some have to go to the kill places.”
“What do you mean, kill?”
He kind of lowered his voice since the dogs were sensitive and saying it upset him. “There are places where they kill the dogs if nobody wants them in a short time.”
“Shit, that’s not fair.”
“I know.” He looked down the row. “But not here. Mrs. H. keeps them all until someone good comes to take them home.”
She nodded.
“Let’s go clean the big dog cage. You’ll like them.” He led her to the end of the row of cages and opened the door. Rowdy got to them first, licked Tom, then looked at Lily and woofed. She didn’t even look scared. She knelt down.
“Hi, boy. I’m Lily.”
Rowdy came over right away and rubbed against her so hard she fell on her butt.
“Whoa. He’s funny.” She ruffled his fur and he licked her. Then the German shepherd nosed his way in for a pet, followed by the boy Weimaraner. “What’re their names?”
“Rex and Smoky.”
“Hi, Rex. He’s really pretty.” Smoky butted her hand. “You too. You too.”
As Lily petted the dogs, Mist sidled over to Tom. He put his arms around her.
“Who do you have there?”
“This is Mist. She’s my special friend.”
“I’m sure glad nobody’s going to kill these dogs.”
He smiled. Who knew Lily would like dogs too? “Yeah, well, if we can’t make some money for the shelter, I don’t know what will happen. It’s expensive to keep dogs and take good care of them.”
“Good afternoon, Tom. Are you playing with the dogs again?”
His stomach clenched. “Hi, Mrs. Rancuso. I’m showing my sister, Lily, the dogs.”
“So you have a sister. Do you spoil animals too, Lily?”
Lily frowned. “I don’t know much about dogs, lady. But I can tell you that nothing that’s locked in a cage is fucking spoiled.”
Mrs. Rancuso raised her eyebrows sharply. Tom just kept petting Mist. She turned and walked out the door to the front.
“What’s with her?” Lily frowned.
Tom whispered, “She looks at Mist, but I don’t want her to adopt Mist.”
“Shit, no. She’s Cruella Deville.”
Tom laughed. They saw that movie together when she was little.
Tom stood and started sweeping. Lily helped a little but mostly petted the dogs. That was okay. They never got enough love no matter how hard he tried. When they finished in there, they moved on to the smaller dogs, and Lily petted them too.
“I didn’t know you liked dogs.”
“I don’t.” She frowned while three small critters climbed all over her. He hid his grin.
His phone rang and his heart leaped. Merle! Oh man, get calm. Get calm. He stepped outside the cage and answered his phone. “Hello?”
“Hi, Tom.”
Tom felt like somebody stuck a pin in him. Merle sounded not happy. “Hi.”
“How are you?”
“Fine. I’m cleaning the cages and Lily’s playing with the dogs.”
“Look, I was hoping to get down there tonight. Actually, I was on my way. But then I got a call from my parents and from, uh, René about things I have to do up here in LA. So I guess I won’t be getting down there tonight or tomorrow night either.”
“I understand, Merle. You have important things to do. I hope you have fun with your mom and dad and that the movie’s wonderful. I know it’s going to be a big success.”
“Well, I’ll see you soon, Tom. Before the movie’s done.”
“Okay. That would be wonderful.” He tried to smile, but sometimes people said they’d be back and never came. That happened a lot. No reason for Merle to come back—not to Tom anyway.
“I’m really sorry.”
Tom swallowed. Better not say anything.
“I wanted to see you so badly.”
“Me too. Have a good time. Bye, Merle.” He hung up. Wow, he never did that to Merle. Talking to Merle was the most fun thing that happened. But if I keep talking, he’ll know I’m sad and I don’t wan
t that. He wiped a hand across his face.
“What’s wrong, Tom?” Lily looked at him real hard, still patting three dogs.
“Oh, nothing. It was nice of Merle to call me.” He went back to sweeping and gathering the bits of dog food in the dustpan.
“Call you about what?”
“Nothing. Just to say he’s up in LA seeing his folks and making his movie.” He kept his face looking down. Lily’s too smart.
“Did he have a date with you?”
“No. We don’t have dates, Lily. I just do stuff with him sometimes.”
“Were you going to ‘do stuff’ tonight?”
He shrugged.
“You really like Merle, don’t you?”
He forced himself to laugh. “What’s not to like?”
“It’s probably not a good idea, Tom. Merle’s this big shot and getting bigger. He’s going to be spending more time with other big shots, you know what I mean?”
He glanced at her. She looked like she was really sad for him. Don’t like that. “Sure, I know. He’s just a friend. I can’t wait to see his movies, can you? We’ll tell people we know him and they’ll say, ‘No way.’”
“Maybe we can watch his TV show this week, right?” She smiled.
He smiled back. That’s how life is.
THE BOYS snuggled against his neck and wet-willied his ears. Tom chuckled a little and sat up on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay, guys. It’s just us and we’re happy together, right?”
They danced around the way they always did in the morning, jumping up to lick his face and bounding around the room. They didn’t have as much space in here in the sewing room as they were used to, but that didn’t stop them any.
“I know it’s Saturday, but I gotta go in to work. I’ll come home later and we’ll take a big walk, okay? Maybe Lily will go too.”
Fluffy sat at his feet and whined. Tom scratched him under his chin. “It’s okay, guy. Honest, I’m not too sad. I just have to finish up some light fixtures and install the TVs. Then I’ll be done.” He pulled in a breath. Done with Merle’s house. Wow. Maybe I’ll never see Merle ever again.
Thinking about that made it hard to breathe at all, so he dropped his head between his knees. It’ll be okay. Gotta take the bad with the good. That’s how life is.
He got up, washed, and dressed in the hall bathroom. When he came out, Lily stood there in her cute pink bathrobe. “Morning.” She rubbed her eyes. She wasn’t really a morning person.
“Hi. I have to go into work. You going to the beach?”
“No. I told Mrs. Hernandez I’d help with the dogs today.” She rubbed her eyes some more.
Don’t look too happy. She won’t like that. “Oh, that’s good. I can drop you on the way to work.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll take the boys out while you get dressed, and we can stop for breakfast sandwiches on the way.”
“Okay. Thanks, Bro.”
He liked it when she called him Bro.
It took an hour, but he finally pulled up in front of Merle’s house. Don’t think of it that way. It’s your job. Just do it. He grabbed his tools and went inside. Quiet. Nobody else was working since the job was almost done. Jim had given him the last few projects to do and moved the rest of the crew to another house.
He walked into the kitchen, opened the box with the light fixture, and climbed the ladder he’d left. It only took fifteen minutes to get it installed. Stuff always went smoothly when you kind of wanted it to take longer.
In the living room, he put in the smaller flat-screen that could be covered with a cabinet. Nice. Billy told him that way the TV didn’t have to show if Merle had friends over. Bet he’ll have lots of friends come visit this nice house.
Once that was done, he went downstairs to install the huge TV. Imagine getting to watch basketball on this big screen. Or a dog show. Or Merle’s series. He swallowed. It will be so fun for Merle.
That job took a little more time since he had to lift it by himself, but he got it in finally.
Okay, some lights in the bedroom and he was done.
He walked back up the stairs and grabbed the really pretty lights he’d stored in the closet. Hefting the ladder under his arm, he walked into the room where Merle would sleep. The mattress still sat in the middle of the floor. Jim told him Merle got a good deal on it, so he’d had it delivered. Funny he wouldn’t put it in the garage or prop it up against the wall. Why plop it where it got in everybody’s way?
He set up the ladder, then leaned over to push the mattress out of the way. The top piece slid partway off the bottom and—a box of condoms and a tube of lube sat in the middle of the box spring.
He heard his own breath. Were those for him? Nobody else would have needed to fuck Merle in his empty house. Another guy would have had a better home than a tiny room in an old lady’s home with two dogs. So Merle got those for me, but we never got to use them before—before what? Before Merle realized how silly it was to be fucking Tom in an empty house when he could be somewhere else with somebody who wasn’t such a loser?
Yeah. Tom sat on the corner of the mattress and wiped at the tears he couldn’t make stop.
“Tom, you okay?”
He looked up. “Oh, hi, Billy.” His boss stood in the doorway staring at him. “Sorry. Just had a pain in my chest. Needed to catch my breath.” He blinked like mad. Quit being stupid.
“Do you need to lie down?”
“Oh no. I’m fine.” He stood, pulled the mattress back over the condoms so Billy didn’t see, then dragged the ladder to the center of the room.
“Hey, why don’t you leave that for somebody else and follow me to the new job site. I really need your skills over there.”
Tom looked at the light fixtures. Sure would like to finish those for Merle. “Okay, Billy. I’ll come now.”
He walked down the stairs and out the door. Time to move on to a new job.
Chapter Twenty
MERLE PULLED up in front of Junot and handed the valet his keys. Get excited, dammit. He took the claim check. “Thanks.”
Okay, most important meeting of your career. No big. Shit. All he could hear was the sound in Tom’s voice—just before he hung up. Not just disappointed, but what? Final came to mind. He probably doesn’t want to see me anymore—and I don’t blame him.
Shit, can’t breathe.
But he had to get his head in the game.
He inhaled and walked into the casual French restaurant that had made all the Hottest Restaurants lists for the last couple of years. Hard not to wish he was having pizza with Tom.
He approached the hostess, interestingly a handsome, white-haired woman versus the usual nubile ingénue. “I’m meeting René Montrose.”
“Oh yes. You’re Mr. Justice, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Delighted to have you here. Right this way.” She led him to a back booth, which seemed to be René’s favorite type of seat.
“Darling!” René slid out, stood, and gave Merle a hug and double-cheek kiss. He smiled at the woman. “Thank you, Antoinette. Isn’t he lovely?”
“Devastating, dear.” She smiled and left.
Merle raised an eyebrow. “I gather you know the management.”
“Yes. I actually own a piece of Junot. Antoinette, whom you met, is the primary owner. She’s a master of PR. She hires the best chefs and manages to keep the place hard-to-get. Nothing succeeds like rarity.”
Merle slid into the booth, and René scooted around so they were close together. He grinned. “I want to show you some of my shot list.”
“Great.”
They ordered drinks and dinner, then plunged into a discussion of the film and how it was a metaphor for all excluded groups. “That’s why I like that you’re gay. It gives you material to draw on for the performance that being a privileged straight white man wouldn’t provide.” René sipped his champagne. “Tell me how you see the character.”
Merle stared into his beer
. “Even among the excluded he’s different and, therefore, alone.”
The silence made him look up. René gazed at him. “You really are a lot more than a pretty face, my friend.”
“That’s why you cast me, right?” He smiled, but his own words about difference echoed through his heart.
“Yes, and I’m brilliant, therefore so are you.” René laughed, and that finally made Merle’s smile genuine.
Food arrived and Merle ate some of his salmon, but everything felt a little uneasy. They talked about the shooting schedule, which started Monday, and the potential for going on location to New York. They sipped coffee, and Merle played with a crème brûlée.
René said, “If you go to New York, you can spend time with your parents.”
Merle cocked a half smile. “That may not be a blessing.”
“Oh? I got the impression you were close.”
“Not exactly. I’m kind of the family black sheep.”
René sat back and widened his eyes. “A brilliant actor who’s nominated for an Emmy is a black sheep? What are they? Members of the Mafia?”
Merle barked a laugh. “Nope.”
“Homophobes?”
“Not at all. They’re card-carrying intellectuals. Real intelligentsia for whom the existence of a vampire TV series is a nonevent.” He shrugged, but it didn’t really feel casual. “Actually, nonevent kind of describes my whole life for them. I wasn’t a brilliant student, didn’t dedicate my life to science, never presented a paper at a conference or got published in an international journal. I have sibs who fit their elevated description of family much better than I.”
“Oh my. Despite the fact that your outsider status will contribute to the part, I’m becoming terrified of meeting your parents.”
“Don’t be. You seem to be the only film director on the planet that’s entered their field of awareness. They’re excited to meet you.” He took a mouthful of champagne and swallowed it slowly.
René gave him a long look. There was a serious brain behind those dark eyes that bored into Merle. “May I ask what’s wrong?”
“What? Nothing.” He tried to smooth the crease between his eyebrows.
