Chapter 13
A week later found me on shift at the hospital. It felt great to be back doing what I loved. Mason was at day care and after a bit of a debate, I’d agreed to have Cal pick him up since my shift didn’t end until after it closed.
It was still hard for me to let him help. I didn’t fully understand what was happening between us. Aside from a few pecks, he still hadn’t really kissed me. I was beginning to doubt that he wanted me in that way. Maybe he’d moved us in and regretted it? Maybe he wanted more of a friendship? I didn’t know what to think.
Sal hadn’t been able to trace the text, but with no more texts coming through I wondered if Mason and I shouldn’t go back to the apartment. I was getting too comfortable with having so much help with Mason. I didn’t want to feel like the ground had been pulled out from underneath me if and when it went away—when Cal went away.
The thought caused an ache in my chest I didn’t want to explore.
“How’s your arm?” Laurie’s concerned voice broke through my contemplation.
Just out of nursing school, Laurie might have been young but ever since I’d started working with her, she’d struck me as someone older than her years. With her long blonde hair, bee-stung lips, and voluptuous figure, she was beautiful too.
“It’s okay,” I assured her with a smile.
“So, are the rumors true?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Rumors?” I questioned as we leaned against the hallway in between patients. It had been a relatively quiet night so far.
“That you’re, you know, with Cal Jackson. Like with him,” she stage-whispered.
I laughed at her wide-eyed expression. “I don’t fully understand it yet,” I admitted with a sigh. “He’s a lot to take in.”
She snorted. “Uh, I bet. All of those guys seem to be, but he’s like the boss of them all.”
He was exactly the boss of them. The president. I was just beginning to wrap my head around that.
“That he is,” I agreed with a smile.
“I’ve been meaning to offer—if you ever need me to babysit, I’d be happy to,” she offered, surprising me. “I was a nanny when I was putting myself through school and until they pick up my hours, I could use the extra cash,” she admitted with a blush.
I reached over to squeeze her hand briefly. “I remember those days well. I’ll definitely keep that in mind. I’ll pass your info around to the girls as well,” I added.
“That would be great.” She nodded just as sirens shrieked in the distance. “Time to get to work,” she concluded, shoving off the wall as I did the same.
****
I walked in the door that night, exhausted. But overall it had been a good night. We’d been able to save the family brought in after their car rolled off an embankment. A lot of nights didn’t end with the same conclusion and I’d take the highs whenever I could get them. Now, I just wanted to hold my boy and tuck him in. I’d been missing him all day.
I could hear Cal’s deep murmur somewhere in the house and traced the sound to Mason’s temporary bedroom. He was holding Mason beside his crib, talking to him quietly. Mason’s head was on his shoulder and it was clear he was just moments from sleep.
It was such an intimate moment between them, I almost felt awkward standing there. I wasn’t used to sharing Mason and I wasn’t sure how to navigate my emotions.
An irrational burst of jealousy hit my chest as I watched Cal do what I wanted to be doing. Mason was my child.
We’d gotten too comfortable here. I didn’t want Mason to get used to a father figure that wasn’t permanent. It wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair to me.
I slipped out of the room and went to mine, starting to pack up my things.
“You’re home.” Cal’s voice sounding from the doorway startled me.
I whirled to face him, the shirt I’d been in the middle of packing poised in my hand. “Yeah.”
His brow pinched. “You’re packing?”
I bit my lip and nodded. “I think it’s time Mason and I went back to the apartment.”
He leaned against the doorway. “Oh yeah, why’s that?” His tone was neutral but I could hear the tension coiled just beneath the surface.
“It doesn’t seem like there’s any danger. We should get out of your hair,” I replied, turning my back to him so I could continue packing.
His warmth hit my back as he moved in unbearably close. His hands came up from behind me, grabbing the shirt I held and throwing it on the bed. “What’s this really about?” His voice was a low murmur next to my ear.
I fought the whole-body shiver that threatened as my belly clenched in response to his proximity.
“Let me in, just an inch, babe. What’s going on in that gorgeous head?”
“I can’t get used to this and I don’t understand what’s happening,” I blurted.
He turned me in his arms, tipping my chin up to look at him. “Can’t get used to what exactly?”
I threw my hands up. “The help! I’ve always done things on my own. Even when Tim and I were together I was basically a single parent. I don’t want Mason to get used to it and then have it taken away.” I looked off to the side. “And… I don’t want that either.”
His finger hooked under my chin, bringing my gaze back to his. “Who says I’m going anywhere?” he asked, his voice a gentle rumble.
My face warmed with a blush I knew covered my skin all the way down to my chest. “But… you haven’t even really kissed me.” I murmured. “If you just want to be friends or just want to help out, I don’t want to be in your way…,” I blathered.
“Christ, babe, seriously?” He chuckled incredulously.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What?”
“I’d have you palm my cock right now to let you feel how hard I am just from being near you, but that might be overkill since—as you pointed out—I haven’t really kissed you yet. Not the way I want to, anyway.”
I swallowed hard, part of me wishing he’d do just that.
“You know why?”
I fought to find my voice. “Why what?” I rasped.
“Why I haven’t really kissed you yet?”
I shook my head.
“Your eyes, babe. I need you to look at me.”
I complied, though every instinct told me to look away. I’d worked hard to erect my wall, built safe around Mason and me.
“I haven’t taken you because I want you to give yourself to me,” he told me, his tone raw and gaze heated. “I want you to trust me, to feel safe with me. When I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop there and when I’m inside you, I need you to understand that you’re mine.”
I could barely breathe.
“I’m firm on that.” He winked, interjecting some humor into an otherwise heavy moment between us.
I took a deep breath, grateful for the reprieve. “Firm on that, huh?” I murmured through barely moving lips.
“Come here, darlin’.” He moved us to the bed, sitting on the edge and pulling me into his lap. His fingers raked through my long hair. “I want to build something here, Jill. I’ve wanted that for a long time. I know there’s a lot in your past you haven’t shared. I want to get to a place where you feel like you can. And Mason? I know he’s yours, baby. I’d never dream of trying to take your place or stepping on your toes. I do hope to have a place in his life though—and yours.”
I nodded, biting my lip against the burning behind my eyes. “It feels so natural, so good to have you around. I’ve never had something good in my life last, except for Mason.”
He pulled me closer, kissing the top of my head. “Well, then consider yourself due.”
I laughed through tears. “Yeah, I am due.”
“You want to build something with me, Jill?” His deep voice held a note of vulnerability that slayed me.
There was only one answer to his question. “Yeah, Cal, I do.”
“Come sleep with me. I want to hold you,” he commanded, rising with me
in his arms.
I squealed. “You’re carrying me!”
He chuckled, his eyes bright as he started for the door.
“I don’t have any of my sleep stuff,” I protested.
He carried me over to the dresser.
“Are you serious?” I laughed. “You’re not gonna put me down?”
“Nope,” he replied.
I reached down and grabbed my sleep clothes out of my drawer in an awkward maneuver. I looked at him expectantly. “My toiletries?”
He chuckled and carried me into the guest bath so I could grab my face wash and toothbrush. “You good?” he asked.
“Well, I could have you carry me into the kitchen so I could whip up some cupcakes, but I think that might be pushing it.”
He cocked a brow. “Is that a challenge?”
I laughed. “No, no. I have no doubt you could carry me to Vegas and back if you needed to. If you’re so determined to have me sleep with you, let’s go to bed.” I swept my arm forward for him to lead the way.
He carried me into his room and set me on my feet. His room was large and sparsely furnished with a king-size bed, a dresser, and a nightstand. Everything was decorated in either blacks or grays, and though simple, felt comforting. It looked and smelled like Cal.
I slipped into his bathroom to get ready for bed, trying to quiet my pounding heart at the prospect of sleeping with Cal.
When I slipped back out moments later he traded with me, shutting the door behind him. I crawled into the side of the bed without the nightstand, assuming that wasn’t his side.
His sheets were soft and smelled delicious.
When he walked out of the bathroom moments later dressed only in boxers, I lost my breath. His golden skin rippled with muscle, his broad shoulders and chest tapering into a delicious six-pack, complete with that V I’d only ever read about.
He turned out the light and slipped into bed, immediately reaching over to pull me close against his warm strength.
“Night, babe.”
“Uh… night,” I replied, worrying that I’d toss and turn. How could I sleep next to Cal?
I didn’t have time to ask myself twice before I was asleep.
I had the sweetest dreams.
Chapter 14
I awoke the next morning to a warm wall of muscle at my back. Cal’s arm was draped over me, holding me protectively against him even in sleep.
I couldn’t believe how well I’d slept. I shifted slightly and his arm grew tighter in response.
“Mornin’.” His raspy voice was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard.
“Morning,” I murmured.
“Sleep okay?” he asked.
“Never better,” I replied honestly.
“Hmmm,” he rumbled approvingly. The sound of his voice combined with the evidence of his arousal pressed to my lower back was about to send me over the edge. He made no effort to mask it, and my entire body heated in response. “You feel so good,” he murmured, his hand sweeping over the curve of my waist before gripping my hip firmly.
I squeezed my legs together in a futile attempt to soothe the ache. The man was driving me crazy and the whimper I couldn’t hold back told him as much.
He pulled away all too soon and I wanted to scream out my sexual frustration. “I’ll get Bubs,” he announced, rising and throwing on the sweats that lay by his side of the bed.
I hadn’t even heard Mason babbling, but could now hear his sweet little voice coming from his crib. He always woke up happy.
I nodded gratefully. I needed a minute to collect myself.
When I ventured out to the kitchen, Cal was making coffee and Mason was standing up, holding on to a kitchen chair. I scooped him up, covering his chubby face and neck with kisses.
“I never got to ask you, how was your first day back?” Cal asked as I sat Mason down in his high chair and set to work making breakfast.
“It was okay. Hard to be away from Mason, but it felt good to be back.”
“You work again tonight?”
“Yeah. I was hoping to swing by and see Scar and the baby before my shift.”
“I’ll go with you,” he replied, setting a cup of coffee in front of me. “I can take care of Mason when you go to work—if that’s ok with you,” he added.
After our conversation last night, it was clear he was trying even harder than before to respect my boundaries.
I gave him a warm smile. “That’d be great. Thank you.”
He patted my backside as he walked past. “No argument this time. We’re getting somewhere.”
I narrowed my eyes at him as he chuckled.
“The Sinners are comin’ to town,” he mentioned as he refilled his coffee cup. “The new chapter too.”
“Ah.” I nodded, distracted momentarily by Mason as he made a grab for my fork.
“We’ll put them up. Host a night at the club,” he explained. “I want to make sure you can find a sitter for Mason. I’d put a man on the house, of course.”
I turned to him, surprised at the suggestion. “I can just stay with him. Let you do your thing,” I replied easily.
He growled in frustration. “Babe, I know you’re still learning what it means to be my woman, but what in the hell kind of shit is that, huh?”
I narrowed my eyes. “And what exactly does it mean to be your woman?” I challenged.
He stepped into my space, tilting my chin up to look him in the eye. “It means that when we host another club, we host. You and me,” he ground out. “It means you stand by my side and let me show you off the way I’ve been itching to do since I first laid eyes on you. And,” he continued, “it means you say shit like that again and your ass will be red from my palm.” He stooped low, his lips skimming mine in a way that made me crazy with lust.
I was shocked that no part of his seductive threat worried me. I knew Cal would never hurt me—not like that. Instead, I was intrigued and turned on by the prospect.
“O-oh,” I managed with a breathy sigh.
“You get me?” he demanded. “You’ll try to find a sitter?”
I nodded. “I’ll ask Laurie, from the hospital.” I replied breathlessly.
He growled low in his throat. “You want me to make your ass red, baby?” His eyes were dark with intention.
I bit my lip and nodded.
I knew his groan of approval would stay with me for the rest of the day.
****
“He’s so gorgeous,” I murmured as I cradled Tatum in my arms that afternoon. Though he was born early, he’d been given a clean bill of health. “How’s Gracie doing?” I asked Scarlet as she sat on the couch watching us with a tired smile. Their massive dog, Chief, lay resting at her feet.
“Okay. Though I’m not sure she’s clear that we’re keeping him.”
I laughed. “She might be in for a bit of a shock,” I agreed, my eyes drifting to their backyard where Cole and Cal stood talking while Gracie and Mason played together.
“How are things with Cal?” she asked.
“Good,” I replied, my eyes back on the sweet bundle in my arms. “I know I can be difficult. I’m stubborn and I have a lot of shit to work through, but he seems ready to take on the challenge.” I laughed ruefully.
She grinned. “I’m sure he is. You’re worth it, Jill.”
“So I’ve been told,” I murmured. “He got pretty put out when I didn’t realize I was supposed to be at the club when the Sinners come into town,” I admitted.
She masked a smile. “He’s ready to claim his queen.” She winked before her green eyes grew serious. “You’ve been in our world long enough, Jill. It’s a big deal for any of the guys to claim a woman, but especially for Cal. It’s his club, it was his world—until you. He’s never invited a woman inside those walls. He wants you.” She reached out and playfully touched the tip of my nose.
Wow, I’d never thought about it like that.
“I’ll find a sitter,” I reaffirmed.
She grinned. “You�
��d better. No more texts from the asshole?” she asked cautiously.
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Good.” She sighed. “Hopefully it stays that way.”
I leaned down to hand Tatum back to his mama. “I’ve got to get to work. I’m so glad I got to see you and your little man. Call me if you need anything, okay?”
“I will. Thank you for coming. You’re a good friend.”
That was one of the best compliments a girl could get.
I ventured outside, grabbing Mason for a hug good-bye before my eyes turned to Cal. “I’ll be home around eight.”
His eyes warmed as he pulled me in for a soft kiss. “All right, darlin’. Have a good shift.”
I blushed, unused to the display of affection in front of his son. “Bye, Cole.”
“Later,” he replied, and I could have sworn he fought a smile.
Figured. Like father, like son.
Chapter 15
“I don’t know about this.” I fretted as I eyed my reflection in the mirror two nights later.
Connie and Ettie had invited themselves over to help me get ready for the party at the club.
“You look hot as hell!” Connie assured me with a grin.
At first I’d welcomed their input, but now that I was looking at the outfit they’d chosen I wasn’t so sure. Dressed in jean shorts, a thick brown belt, white tank top, and cowboy boots, I was showing more skin than I was used to.
“I’m too old for this outfit.” I shook my head, biting my lip.
“Bull.” Ettie snorted as she shifted Mason to the other hip. “You look hot. You have an amazing figure that you never show off. Look at those legs! They’re like a mile long! And I love how you did you hair,” she added, eyeing the messy waves I’d created with my rollers. “Cal is going to lose it when he sees you.”
I had to admit, the thought appealed to me.
“Fine, I’ll wear it.” I gave in. “But if I get any shit I’m blaming you two,” I added with a pointed finger and a glare at both of them.
“You can thank us both when you’re overwhelmed with compliments.” Ettie grinned serenely. “When is the sitter getting here? Laurie, right?”
I nodded. “Yep. She should be here soon,” I replied as I swept some gloss over my lips.
Cal (The Ride Series Book 5) Page 8
