by Jodi Thomas
“Don’t wait for me. It wouldn’t be fair. You can do a hell of a lot better than me. A soldier’s life is hard on the spouses.”
“When you come back...” she began, unable to finish.
“If I come back,” he corrected. “We’ll make plans then. But you got to promise not to wait. Just think about the time we had as a gift. It was the best. Go back to your perfect little house and put up your Christmas tree. Wrap your presents. When you open them, smile and remember that the two weeks I spent with you were the best I’ve ever lived. What a gift you gave me.”
She nodded. “Me, too.” She’d talked for two weeks, rattling on about everything, but now when time was so short, she grew silent.
He held her until her breathing slowed, then he slipped from the bed, dressed in his uniform and walked away. He left the clothes and boots and books he’d bought. There was no room for them where he was headed.
Four hours later, he was on a plane, flying across the ocean. He should have been thinking about the mission that he’d known was coming for weeks, but his mind was still full of her.
He couldn’t even whisper when this is over, I’ll come back to her. If something happened to him, he didn’t want her remembering broken promises.
This mission was the one he’d always feared. The odds weren’t in his favor. Staring out at the dark ocean, he’d decided this one would be his last. He’d walk away from the army when it was over or die in a hailstorm of bullets. Either way, he’d see Jamie’s face when it ended.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Krown Ranch
GRIFFIN HAD EATEN half the snacks on the library table while waiting for Sunlan to come out of her bedroom. He thought the library area strange, nestled between two bedrooms, and then he realized all the books were about horses. The history, the breeding of horses, even art books of horses.
He might have found them interesting, but Griffin couldn’t keep his mind off Sunlan.
After they’d kissed, neither seemed as tired as they’d been when they arrived. He worried that kissing his future wife could become an addiction. But then she pulled away, and he knew he’d probably become an addict without a supplier.
Sunlan seemed nervous in her not-so-homey home. She’d talked him into a moonlit ride over land that looked like a movie set. He might have enjoyed it more if he hadn’t felt like they were being followed and watched as they circled the property. When they made it back to the barn, he was glad the ride was over.
As he had with Sam and Allie, Griffin took time to introduce himself to everyone he met. He was comfortable with working ranch people—he was one of them. But he had no idea how he’d relate to Sunlan’s father and his crowd. Gentlemen ranchers weren’t his type. When he’d been a kid, he’d once heard his dad say that a rancher without shit on his boots isn’t worth his weight in hay.
But for tonight anyway, thanks to Sunlan, he did look proper in his new clothes. He’d been surprised how everything she ordered for him fit perfectly. The jeans weren’t Wranglers, but they would do. The shirt had a hint of being Western and so did the jacket. She’d even ordered a belt and boots that were comfortable without him having to spend a few weeks breaking them in.
To his shock, she also ordered him underwear and socks. Again, not the kind he wore. They weren’t white, but they’d do. Once she was out of their shared bathroom, he planned to shower and call it a night. The day had seemed endless.
He’d just finished pulling off his jacket when she finally walked out of her side of their apartment.
Sunlan was freshly showered, her hair still damp. She wore silk pajamas with slippers that matched. It crossed his mind that he was glad she had her own money; otherwise, he wasn’t sure he could even afford to keep her in shoes.
“Did you open the wine?”
He did his best not to stare at the way the soft fabric clung to her body...all over. “I did. I wanted to let it breathe, but I think it’s coughing.”
“Very funny.” She reached for a glass. “Aren’t you drinking?”
“I’ve tried wine. Never developed the taste for it. By the time I was old enough to drink, I had a sick mother and two brothers to take care of. When Dad had his stroke, I felt like I needed to hang on to all the brain cells I had to keep up.”
She sat down on one of the overstuffed chairs and folded her long legs in the seat, then unfolded them, as if nervous. “Griffin, don’t tell me you’ve never been wild and drunk.”
He took the matching chair and stretched his legs, touching her fuzzy slippers with his boot. “I meant to. It was on my list. I order all kinds of drinks at hotel bars when I get away to the stock shows. I even drove to Lubbock once just to find myself a wild time.”
“How’d that work out?”
“I went to a rodeo, ate half a dozen corn dogs, drank about as many beers, threw up in the parking lot, slept in my pickup, then drove home the next morning with my head feeling like a bull was sitting on it.”
“You’re a wild man, Griffin Holloway. Maybe I should marry you just to calm you down.”
“I’d appreciate that.” He studied her. “How about you, Sunshine? What’s your wildest time? Tell me the craziest thing you’ve ever done.”
She grinned. “When I was in boarding school, we used to sneak out and drink the beers the horse trainer hid in his old fridge in the barn.”
“Who is we?”
“Girlfriends. All-girls school. Another fight my parents had. Father won. I didn’t even kiss a boy until I got to college.”
Griffin liked this casual private talk. He bumped her shoe again, and she smiled.
“Your turn,” she said. “First kiss.”
He shrugged. “That’s easy. My second cousin. I was fourteen and she was fifteen. She took me up to the attic of our great-aunt’s house to look for old pictures. I thought she knew all about sex because she wore lipstick, so I started asking a few questions. She wouldn’t kiss me until I dropped my jeans and showed her what I had. I figured it was the price of admission.”
Sunlan giggled. “And what did she do?”
“She showed me her chest. Wasn’t much to see. Then she kissed me several times, explained the different kinds of kisses and where I was supposed to put my hands. It took me two years to even try to kiss another girl. I thought kissing might always come with a lecture.”
Sunlan stood and poured out her wine, then replaced it with root beer. “I forgot. No wine. Not even at this house.”
He clicked his glass with hers and smiled. “We’ll save a bottle to have after the baby’s born. Deal?”
“Deal.”
She sipped her root beer. “You’re a fascinating man. I’m surprised you learned to kiss so well.”
“I didn’t know I did.”
“You do. Otherwise our first kiss would have been our last.”
“So it’s on the table as something we might do routinely when we’re around each other? Not just when others are watching?”
She shrugged. “I guess. I wouldn’t mind, as long as we keep it friendly.”
He had no idea what she meant. He was friendly with the Franklin sisters, but he didn’t want to kiss them the way he kissed Sunlan. Hell, he felt like he needed to go back to his second cousin and ask a few more questions. Only she was married, living in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with her fat husband and six chubby kids.
Sunlan sat on the arm of his chair. “What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, Griff?”
“I lied to the sheriff once. He caught me speeding in my dad’s car. I wasn’t even racing anyone, I was just seeing how fast I could go. I knew he’d tracked me. I was the only one on the road, so I couldn’t claim he had me mixed up with another car. But I lied when he pulled me over. Swore I wasn’t going fast. Got all mad that the sheriff even thought I would do such a thing. Called a good man a liar to his face. Said his ra
dar gun must be broken.”
“What did the sheriff do?” She leaned back and propped her arm on Griffin’s shoulder.
“He took me home, banged on the door loud enough to wake up my dad, then looked at me and told me to tell the truth. He said a stupid lie rots inside a man. After a few too many, a liar starts to smell. From then on, he’s not a man anyone would trust. I saw his point. That night, I figured it was time for me to step up and be a man. An honest man. I told my dad the truth.” Griffin put his hand on her knee. “What about you? The dumbest thing you ever did.”
She was stone still, his frozen lady. He wasn’t sure she’d answer, but he waited.
Finally, she started in a low voice, barely above breathing. “I went to an art gallery opening in Austin just as the leaves began to turn to fall colors. Several of my friends from college were showing their work at a little gallery downtown by the UT campus. The show wasn’t big, but it was exciting, and I probably drank too much. My father had been furious with me over something that day and as always, stormed off yelling. I wouldn’t even agree to meet another one of his picks for son-in-law. I wouldn’t let him help with the running of Misty Bend. Who knows? I don’t remember.”
Griffin studied her, knowing what she was telling him now was important. He listened as she continued.
“When I left the gallery, I decided to walk along Sixth Street. I always love strolling past the clubs and bars with their windows and doors open and music playing from every establishment. It was a beautiful night, but I remember my mood was so dark. I saw all the couples and for once felt very alone.
“I finally reached the hotel and went straight to the bar. One more drink and I’d be able to get my father’s voice out of my head. Two more drinks and I wouldn’t feel so lonely. Three or four drinks later, I was talking to some guy from New York. You know the type—thousand-dollar suit, perfect hair, vocabulary he liked to flaunt.”
Griffin really didn’t know the type, but he didn’t interrupt her.
“He walked me to my room, came in just to see that I was all right. I wasn’t that drunk. I knew nothing about the evening felt right, but I just didn’t care. For a slick guy, he was a bumbling idiot in bed. I wasn’t even turned on. He couldn’t leave fast enough. Telling me he had a plane to catch. Saying we’d have to get together again, but he couldn’t even remember my name. As he rushed out the door, he said, ‘I’ll call you, Sarah.’”
“And?” Griffin took her empty glass.
“And six weeks later, I realized I was pregnant and the last thing I wanted was that jerk to be my baby’s father.” She curled into his lap. “It hurts so bad to think how dumb I was, but I want my baby.”
Griffin held her. “Our baby,” he whispered against her hair.
“Our baby,” she echoed.
“No one will ever hurt you again.” He brushed the bruise on her forehead. “Except maybe runaway horses.”
She managed a slight smile. “‘Our baby’ sounds so good, Griff. He, or she, will be a Holloway. An old Texas family.”
“If you don’t ever talk about that night in Austin again, I’ll never mention it. I’m your baby’s father. We’re going to let one lie become our truth for a good reason.”
She cupped his face with her hands. “I agree.” She ruffled his windblown hair. “You are one good-looking man, Griffin.”
“Sure. Everyone, including me, wonders how I found such a woman and how she could possibly agree to marry me. I may not be polished, but I’m thinking I’m very lucky.”
She kissed his lips, featherlight. “And I’ll tell them I knew from the first time I saw you that you were the perfect man for me.”
They stood. They’d said all that needed to be said. Somehow in the fire and the flight and the silence of the evening they’d settled into a harmony together.
As Griffin turned toward his room, she took his hand. “Griff, would you hold me while I sleep? Just sleep like we did on the couch. I liked that. I always feel so alone in this house.”
He didn’t answer. He just changed directions.
They climbed into bed and he folded her in his arms. Without another word, they both fell asleep. Whatever came tomorrow, they’d face it together.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Krown Ranch
GRIFFIN WOKE AT dawn and slipped from Sunlan’s bed. He’d checked half a dozen times during the night just to see if she was still there. The thought of truly sleeping with her had worn a rut in his brain. But he hadn’t done more than hold her all night long. Somehow, after what they’d shared last night, holding her was enough.
As he looked down at her, he couldn’t help but feel like he knew her better than anyone in her world. She wasn’t easy to be around sometimes. Hell, she wasn’t even friendly at times, and she was marrying him.
She was complicated, often frightened, bossy and a little broken. And, he added to himself, sexy as hell with her sunshine hair spread across the pillow.
He walked to the bathroom, pulling off the clothes he’d slept in as he moved. He needed a long hot shower and three or four cups of coffee before he faced what promised to be an interesting day.
Twenty minutes later, when he’d dried off and shaved, he opened the bathroom door that led to his room. The half dozen outfits she’d bought him were still on his bed.
So was Sam. The old cowboy was sitting leaned back against the headboard, sound asleep. Hell, he’d probably been there all night.
Griffin pulled on underwear and a pair of slacks far too dressy to ever work in before he poked the old guy.
Sam came awake a muscle at a time, crackling like old newspaper as he unfolded. “Morning, Griffin.”
“Did you sleep here?” Griffin asked. This was his bed, but Griffin hadn’t used it last night. Not that it was any business of the old cowboy’s.
“Nope. And neither did you.”
Griffin ignored the comment.
The aging cowhand tried again. “I just thought I’d come in to tell you that if you hurt Sunlan, you’ll answer to me. I may be shaky, but I can go a few rounds with the best of them. Me and the boys in the barn decided we’d better tell you how we felt about Sunlan. She grew up out in that barn. We all think of her as our kin.”
Griffin relaxed. “I’m not going to hurt Sunlan. I’m going to marry her. We’re here to tell her father tonight.”
Sam grinned. “I’m glad to hear that. I was thinking I might have to hit you a few times to make my point.”
“Well, don’t tell anyone we’re engaged. Krown probably thinks he should be one of the first to know.”
Sam crossed his bony chest. “I swear, but maybe you should mess up these covers or the whole place will know you’re sleeping together.”
“I’ll do that, but I don’t care if they know I love her. That’s how folks feel who get married. Now get out of here so I can finish getting dressed. I’ll meet you in the kitchen for coffee. I’ve got a few questions.”
“Will do. But you should know the guests and family take breakfast in the dining room. They don’t meet in the kitchen for breakfast like regular folks do.”
“I said the kitchen. Coffee.”
“I heard you.”
Griffin turned to grab a shirt. When he glanced back, the cowboy was gone. Maybe Sam was the headquarters’ ghost.
An hour later, Griffin looked up from a breakfast nook big enough to serve a dozen and saw Sunlan walk in. She was dressed in dusty green all the way down to her boots.
Griffin decided he’d better Google substitutes for beautiful or he’d wear out the word.
Before he could tell her all the interesting stories he’d heard about her growing up around horses, she was pulling him away from the small crowd surrounding him. Apparently, she had plans.
The cowhands made fun of him for tagging along. He just grinned.
For the next four hours, they visited with people arriving for the party, looked at pictures of all her ancestors and had tea with two of her great-aunts.
Just about the time Griffin was thinking of taking a nap, Sunlan informed him—calmly, without emotion—that they had to go to the airport, fifty miles away, to pick up her mother.
* * *
WHEN THEY ARRIVED, Griffin wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but Sunlan’s mother could have passed for her sister. She didn’t look a day over thirty-five and had the same long slim body as Sunlan. Her hair was darker, but highlights made it shine. Her face looked like it had been polished to glass.
When her mother went to freshen up before the fifty-mile drive back to the ranch, Griffin whispered, “How old was your mother when she had you?”
“Twenty-six.”
“But?”
“She’s over fifty now, but never mention it.”
Griffin spent the drive back trying not to stare. Marian Krown wore more makeup than most, he guessed, but she was still stunning. As the miles ticked by, he noticed something strange. Marian only talked about herself. Her health. The appointments she was missing to make this journey. The new diet she’d discovered. How much she loved yoga. How there was no good shopping in Dallas this season. Who she’d met lately. How someone had sworn there was no way she was old enough to have a grown daughter and that Sunlan must be adopted.
This mother, who hadn’t seen her daughter in months and hadn’t visited Texas in over a year, didn’t ask a single question about Sunlan.
Sunlan drove ten miles over the speed limit and didn’t say a word.
When they pulled up, it was almost dark, almost time for the party to begin. People were already filling the huge front rooms of the house decorated with crystal Christmas trees hanging from the ceiling.
Marian hurried off after her dozen bags, claiming she didn’t have enough time to get dressed.
Griffin looped his arm over Sunlan’s stiff shoulders. “She’s nothing like you, Sunshine.”
