He chuckled. “I’ve managed. Ever since I could, I’ve been a firefighter like my father. I like the challenges of the job.”
“Are you a risk taker?”
He tilted his head to the side and stared off into space. When his gaze found hers again one corner of his mouth lifted. “I guess in some ways I am.”
“What about now, with being the guardian of your nieces? Have you thought of doing something less risky?”
“I could worry about the future or just live it. I’m in God’s hands and, as long as I’m doing something I love and helping others, I won’t change.”
“So you don’t take precautions?”
“I didn’t say that. When I was fighting the grass fire, I almost got caught with no way out. I didn’t panic, but thought about my options, chose one and managed to get away from the flames. I’ve gone through extensive training.”
Sarah’s stomach plummeted. “Fire can be unpredictable.”
“Life can be unpredictable. What good would it do to worry about the future when there’s no way to predict what will happen? I tried to map my life out, and I thought I had it all figured out. Then something came out of the blue and changed everything.”
“Your brother’s death?”
“Yes, but before that, I was married. She walked out on me, leaving only a note.”
“I’m sorry.”
“We had problems like all marriages. I wanted to work through them. She didn’t.”
“Does she live in Dallas?”
“Yes, only a couple of blocks from me. She remarried as soon as she could.”
Her heart ached for him. Before she’d dated Peter, she’d dated a guy who was in her classes at high school. When he broke up with her to date someone else, the worst part was seeing him every day until the end of the school year. “I know what you mean about having your life all figured out and suddenly everything changes. Peter died in a car wreck. I was driving. It wasn’t my fault, but I used to run through the accident over and over in my mind, trying to figure out how I could have done something different.”
Liam waited until the waitress refilled his coffee, then leaned toward her. “What happened?”
“An older man ran a stop sign and plowed right into the passenger side. Where Peter was sitting. We only had one car, and I needed it later so I took him to work. If only my appointment had been a different day. If only I had swerved and avoided the wreck. If only...” Her throat closed around the scenarios she used to run through that would have left her life on the same course. Or would it? Liam was right. They didn’t know what was going to happen in the next ten minutes, let alone the next ten years.
Liam touched her hand resting on the table between them. “Were you injured?”
She fiddled with her spoon by her plate, toying with telling Liam everything. She was tired of avoiding the subject. That hadn’t done any good. Avoidance didn’t mean it would go away. “Most of my injuries healed quickly. Except one. I was five months pregnant and lost my little girl.”
He tightened his hand over hers. “I’m so sorry. That doesn’t even begin to tell you how I feel.”
“For months I dreamed of the day my baby would come into this world. I didn’t consider she would die. I’ve always felt I would be a mother. Still feel that way. Have you ever known something deep down?”
For a long moment he stared at the table between them. When he raised his gaze, a shadow darkened his eyes. “I knew I would follow in my father’s footsteps. I wanted to continue my dad’s heritage. I wanted to belong to his fire station. Those guys all became like a father to me. My captain in Dallas was my dad’s best friend. I miss talking to him.”
“Have you talked to him much since you moved here?”
“About once a week. It’s nice hearing about what’s going on, but mostly just talking with someone back home.”
“When I lived in Tulsa, I missed Buffalo and talked to my mom often.”
“Why did you leave?”
“When Peter died, I didn’t want to leave Mom’s house. I couldn’t live in mine anymore, but I also had a hard time dealing with going other places. I couldn’t move to another part of town like a person could in Dallas and create new memories. I had to move away. I needed to start over.”
“Now you’re back here. What’s different?”
“You ask tough questions.” She sucked in a deep breath, held it for a few seconds then slowly exhaled. She wished she could deal with pain that easily. The compassion in his eyes urged her to trust him and let another one in again. “Time, partially. My mom needed me to help with Nana, and I’m finally realizing I can’t move on without letting go of the past once and for all. Not forget it, but release its hold on me.”
“Have you?”
“I’m getting there. I can drive by the intersection where the wreck occurred without falling apart. That’s actually where I found your poster about Gabe.”
“So we might not have met if you hadn’t.”
“I like to feel Gabe would have found his way home, but he loves your nieces.”
“Having him there even for a few days showed me that a pet would be good for the girls. They take care of their kittens. They make sure they have water and food. They clean their litter box. But, mostly, they have bonded with Buffy and Blackie. So a lot has changed since I met you, and it’s been good.”
“I notice Madison talks to you more and doesn’t get as angry at Katie.”
“I’ve gone to say good-night to her and often find her talking to Buffy. She’s been telling Buffy about her dad. I still wish she would come more to me about Gareth.”
“Each person has to find their way through their grief. Maybe Buffy is Madison’s.” You’re becoming mine. That thought stunned her and, for a few seconds, the world seemed to come to a stop. No, that wasn’t possible. She’d only known him a month.
“But I want my nieces to know they can come to me. I may not be their father, but I love them like a dad.”
“A person might not be someone’s birth father, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t play the role of one.”
The waitress placed the bill on the table. “Do y’all want anything else? Dessert? We have a great peach cobbler.”
“I still have a few errands to do before I watch Madison.” She’d been putting off going to Peter’s and Emma’s graves for a while. It was finally time.
“Same here.” He withdrew his wallet and put some cash to cover the tab on top of the receipt. “Keep the change.”
“Thanks. Have a great day.” The waitress removed some of the dishes and left.
Sarah rose at the same time as Liam. As they walked to his SUV, he was silent. The quiet continued on the way to her house.
When he pulled into her driveway, he stared out the windshield as though in deep thought.
Finally he looked at her and smiled. “I enjoyed lunch.” He cradled her face between his rough palms. “You’ve helped me finally figure out what I need to do.”
She returned his grin. “Talking to you has been good for me, too.” She took one of his hands and kissed his palm. “Now I’d better get going, or I won’t be here for Madison.”
She scrambled from the car before she lost her nerve to go to the cemetery. She’d shared a part of herself she didn’t with others, and it felt right. A lightness to her step, she went inside to let her mother know her plans. She found Nana and Mom out back chasing Junior around the yard. With Gabe next to her, she watched and tried not to laugh out loud.
“Gabe, fetch Junior.”
Her black Lab raced down the deck and across the yard. He cornered the kitten and gently took him into his mouth and trotted to Nana. Sarah’s mother plodded to her, out of breath.
“I’m exhausted. Junior climbed the fence again. Then we finally
got him down, and he scurried past us and up the fence on the other side. I think I’ve got my quota of exercise for the week.”
“Mom, it’s time to let Junior leave the yard if he does. He has his tracker on, and we can find him if he gets lost. He’s at least three months old.”
“But what if something happens to him?”
Sarah thought about staying up late worrying about whether Liam would get hurt or not fighting the grass fire until finally she’d given his safety to God. “Trust the Lord. I know what it’s like to hold on to something too much.”
“I know, but Nana doesn’t.”
“She does, if you will. I came out here to tell you that I’m going to the cemetery, but I’ll be back for Madison.”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so glad you’re going. Don’t worry about Madison. I was going to show her how to French braid her hair today. She’s been asking about it. Stay as long as you need.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Twenty minutes later Sarah stood in front of Peter’s headstone for the first time since she’d left Buffalo. She knelt between his and Emma’s graves and pulled several weeds that had encroached on their plots.
“Peter, we had a great marriage. For a while I didn’t think I could ever find someone like you, but I have—at least I think so. I’m falling in love with Liam. He has the same caring and compassion you had.” She switched her attention to Emma’s small grave. “Darling, I wish I could have been your mother, but God had different plans. I know you’re in good hands. I love you and that will never change.”
Finally she rose and dusted off her jeans. She blew a kiss to each one then swung around and made her way to her car. She could move on now and hopefully one day have her own family.
* * *
Later that evening Liam and Katie strolled toward Sarah’s side gate. She’d said they would be in the backyard if it was still light.
“He’s been gone for twenty minutes, Sarah. He’s lost.” The sound of Nana’s raised voice drifted to him and Katie.
Katie peered up at him. “Junior is gone! We’ve got to find him.”
Liam opened the gate. “Let’s check to see what happened. If we need to help, we will.”
Katie ran ahead of him to Nana while Liam detoured to Sarah and Madison working on homework on the deck.
“What’s going on? Do we need to search for Junior?” Liam stood across from Sarah. Looking at her, he realized if he pursued his feelings for her he would end up hurt. After what she’d told him at lunch, she could never be satisfied with being a mother to Katie and Madison. She wanted children he couldn’t give her.
“Every five minutes, Nana has been announcing how long Junior has been gone. He finally climbed over the fence,” Sarah said.
“And you’re not concerned?”
Madison put her pencil down and closed her notebook. “Junior has a tracking collar on.” She gestured toward the cell phone on the table by Sarah’s arm. “He’s next door.”
“They don’t have any animals, and he’s checking out his surroundings.” Sarah rose. “I’ve told Nana that, but I’m going to show her this. If that isn’t enough to convince her, I’ll take her right to Junior.”
Liam glanced at her grandmother. Katie had helped her to her feet then walked with Nana toward the deck. Sarah met her at the bottom of the steps.
“Sarah, it’s been twenty-five minutes. I haven’t forgotten how to tell time.”
“Nana, I told you I know where Junior is. He’s nearby.”
“How? Do you suddenly have X-ray vision?” Her grandmother pinched her mouth in a firm, thin line.
“No, I have this.” Sarah held up her phone that showed the kitten’s tracking.
Nana folded her arms over her chest. “That’s a blinking dot. That’s not Junior.”
“I’ll show you. We’re going to follow this blinking dot to his location about thirty feet to the right.”
Nana marched toward the gate. “C’mon, Sarah. It’s getting dark.”
Liam dipped his head toward Sarah and whispered, “We’ll leave you to deal with your grandmother. If you need us to help find Junior, just give me a call. Thanks for watching Madison.”
“Anytime.” Sarah hurried to Nana.
“Ready, you two? Katie, do you have any homework?”
His youngest shook her head.
“And I’m finished with mine. So, Katie, we’ll have time to play with our kittens. I’ll race you home.”
“Hold on. No running until we cross the street. Then, if you want to, you can.” Liam followed them, making sure the gate was closed.
“Can we race to the corner and wait for you?”
“Yes.”
The second he said that his two nieces charged down the street. Liam looked toward the neighbor on the right as Sarah and her grandmother emerged from their backyard. Nana grinned from ear to ear while cradling Junior against her.
As he headed down the street, he knew he needed to put some distance between him and Sarah. He didn’t just care about her. He was falling in love. He’d already been devastated from one woman leaving him because he couldn’t father children. He wasn’t sure he could handle that from Sarah.
But even after tucking the girls into bed, he couldn’t rid his mind of Sarah. She haunted his thoughts as if she’d already claimed his heart. What was he going to do?
* * *
At the fund-raiser meeting, Liam sat at the other end of the table from Sarah. He’d purposefully come late to avoid being near her during the luncheon and updates from each group, but when they broke up into subcommittees, he was stuck being closer. A couple of times he’d caught her looking at him with a puzzled expression. He hadn’t seen her in a week except briefly at church, where he’d herded his nieces out of the building before she could come over to speak to them. He knew he couldn’t keep doing that. He had to talk to her. Especially since the girls kept asking where she was.
“Okay, it’s settled, then. After the posters are printed up next week, we’ll each take a section of town and be responsible for putting them up, especially in any business that will let us.” Pastor Collins closed his notebook.
“Thanks to everyone.” Sarah’s gaze skimmed the faces of each member of the bachelor auction committee, resting a few heartbeats longer on Liam than the others. “Other than last-minutes details, we are all set for our part of the fund-raiser.”
“I forgot to mention that I arranged for the weekend newspaper to interview our bachelors and run a feature on the auction the week before the fund-raiser. Do you and Liam want to call the men you recruited, or do you want me to do it?” Beatrice divided her intense focus between him and Sarah.
He started to tell her she could when Sarah chimed in, “We will. Just give us all the details.”
Sarah said we and us—as if they were a couple. Liam shifted in his chair, feeling the need to escape.
“Suit yourself,” Beatrice murmured and gathered her purse from the floor then stood.
Brandon’s subcommittee was still meeting across the room. Liam needed to talk to him and would have to wait outside until they were through.
But before he could move, Sarah took the chair next to him. “I realized I jumped in and answered Beatrice without consulting you. If you can’t make the calls, I’ll do them all.”
“No, I’m fine with it. Let me know when you get the information from her. I’m not particularly looking forward to being interviewed.”
“Why? It should be fun.”
“Not for someone who doesn’t like being in the limelight.”
“Then why did you say yes to being one of the bachelors?”
“Because some of the guys wouldn’t do it unless I did. Besides, it’s for a good cause. I’ve already signed my girls up for camp this summer. The
y’re so excited. They loved it last year.”
“How’s everything? Gabe has missed the girls. I imagine Buffy and Blackie are demanding their full attention when they come home from school.”
“Those two are active kittens, always getting into trouble. Buffy found a grocery store plastic bag on the floor in Madison’s room and ended up trapped with it around her. She went flying up and down the hall trying to shake it. We finally found her downstairs hiding behind the couch, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. I moved it so Madison could rescue her. It took an hour to calm her.”
Sarah laughed. “It sounds like a cat. They are curious creatures.”
“How’s Nana’s kitten getting along? Any problems with your mother’s allergies?” The questions came out before he could stop himself. It was so easy to talk to Sarah. He would miss her conversation and company, but he needed to keep his distance or, before he realized it, he would be totally in love with her. The problem was that for the next month they would have to work together, and he couldn’t avoid that. And then there were his nieces, who were always talking about Sarah.
“Nana is great. Her life revolves around Junior now. And, surprisingly, she hardly messes up with anything dealing with Junior. She often takes my cell phone outside in case he leaves the yard.”
“I know the kittens have helped my nieces. I’m glad it’s working for Nana, too.” Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the last subcommittee was through. He stood. “Sorry, but I need to catch Brandon.”
“And I need to get back to work. Bring the girls by when we’re home. Nana and Mom love seeing them.”
“I will.” He crossed the room to snag Brandon before he left. Maybe he could time his visit when Sarah was gone. But then every time he thought of not seeing her, bleakness settled into his thoughts. “Brandon, do you have a sec to talk?”
His friend stopped and grinned. “For you, yes. I wasn’t sure you were going to come.”
“Yeah, I was running late.” Liam panned the room. Empty. “I need some advice, and our single dads’ next meeting isn’t until a week from Thursday.”
“Sure. This sounds serious.”
The Firefighter Daddy Page 15
