“If he wants to, but Juden prefers to rely on natural instinct and senses to keep them honed. Being a variant means he has to work harder at empathic readings, and he finds the activity exhausting,” he said and walked out the door, as if he hadn’t just landed a bombshell on her.
They walked leisurely through the courtyard, pass the inner sanctuary of the holding. Then followed the lined pathway and down the grassy knoll that led to the stables. Tavian kept up a steady chat about this and that, not really speaking about anything in particular that required her attention. She knew he did it on purpose, understanding she was still trying to digest what he revealed earlier. She respected his consideration. She couldn’t possibly concentrate on anything of significance. Her mind was in a fog.
Juden could read minds!
Chapter 35
The time passed as they walked from the main dwelling through the expansive area that separated the structure from the building where the horses were housed, she felt sufficiently recovered from shock. She was able to engage in reasonable conversation with Tavian without making a fool of herself. A few times, she slipped, and ogled him embarrassingly as if she was in the presence of a phenomenon. Her ill-mannered action, as if reared uncivilized, made her immediately contrite, while Tavian pretended as if he hadn’t noticed. Those who regarded the variants as unsophisticated were wrong. Like Juden, the others, Tavian was a consummate gentleman.
She waited just inside the darkened doorway while Tavian lit the torches secured in the iron brackets that lined the stable walls and each partition, and light filtered into the darkness making everything visible and the scents more prevalent. An indescribable smell which wasn’t unpleasant, although uniquely different then what she was accustomed to now that her days outside inhaling sea salt, pine, and wildflowers consumed her memory. She absorbed the smell of sun-drenched days, dry tall grass after a rain, a distinctive combination of fragrances reminded her of sweet and herbs. The horse flesh scent mingled with sweat and leather added to her memories, as she ran her fingers along the worn leather saddles laid across stall dividers. She enjoyed the touch of power she’d always experienced holding a rein in her hand as she rode across the meadows as sunlight, and a breeze washed across her face making her feel alive.
The sound of a soft neigh caught her attention. Then it happened again, more pronounced, as if Tibby called out, vied for her to come. She went to where Tavian stood inside a holding pen. When she rounded the hedge, it was all she could do not to falter. There, in a bed of hay, lay the most beautiful sight. The mere magnitude of seeing Tibby and her baby made the lump in her throat thicken.
She stared mesmerized, unable to fill her lungs, as the speckled grey and white foal with large brown tranquil eyes tried to stand. Her legs no more than spiny stilts, wobbled, before she finally gained her balance. Saxby couldn’t help laugh at the show, clapped joyfully, when in no time at all, the miniature Tibby learned to walk and move about to show off for her mother.
“She’s magnificent.” Saxby felt with genuine happiness, realizing how much she missed this, as she hurried inside the stall to inspect the foal more closely. She looked up at Tavian, grinning, and said, “She is absolutely to be cherished.”
“I know the mother is proud.”
“Her name is Tibby,” she said, softly. “I fell in love with her the first time I laid eyes on her. I think the feeling was mutual.” She reached down and stroked the horse’s mane, ran her fingers through the shinny coat. “I don’t know what happened.”
“From what Juden told me it was an accident.”
Saxby’s eyes filled with tears as the unpleasant past resurfaced. She didn’t care. The strain of remembering made her voice sound forlorn and distant. “Tibby almost killed me and Milo. Perhaps, a piece of my husband did die.” She looked up at Tavian. “But, then it was my fault for driving her too hard, for not listening to Milo’s warning.” She gulped swallowing the emotions that surfaced hard and stung her conscience. “I try not to think about what happened too much. You understand why?”
Tavian nodded, kneeled down and rubbed Tibby’s neck. “Maybe she was too spirited for you in the first place or additional training was needed before you were allowed to ride her. Perhaps, both is true.”
Saxby didn’t understand. “I’m not sure what you are getting at.”
“She is a very powerful horse, and more caution should have been taken before you were allowed anywhere near the animal. Especially, at your young age, it’s hard to believe your husband didn’t consider all this before he gave Tibby to you. Milo should have been there to protect you. You were new to the area, unaware of the geography, sudden valleys and the nearness of cliffs.”
“What are you insinuating?” She said sharper then she intended.
“I’m just saying there are mitigating circumstances which all lead up to the accident, and you shouldn’t solely fault yourself for something unavoidable.”
“That’s your opinion,” she said indignant. She was testy with Tavian, and not sure if she why. Perhaps Tavian spoke her own fears aloud she questioned a hundred times. Through the year she wondered why Milo didn’t warn her until it was almost too late the terrain she approached led directly to the mountains precipice. She wouldn’t have known, and if so, she never had raced wildly in that direction. Never. It would be suicide.
The revelation flashed and something inside her heart skipped a beat just before her heart started palpitating erratically. No, that was insane, she thought. Milo wouldn’t intentionally…unable to complete the ghastly thought she refused to continue down that path.
“If you don’t mind I want to go back inside,” she said. Saxby jumped to her feet quickly, and entangled the hem of her gown around her ankles. She stumbled almost falling until Tavian moved with a swiftness that defined logic. He caught her around the waist to steady her.
“What the devil is going on,” Juden growled, standing like a sentry of doom, shady and threatening before them.
Seeing the sight of Juden made her push the seed of suspicion Tavian planted, as she focused on Juden’s s audacious interruption. She reminded herself to exhale. Unblinking, she stared at Juden and the extraordinary view he exposed in snug leather breeches and open collared pale shirt. The fair material against his darkness deepened his complexion, the hair on his chest blacker, and exotically more pronounced. His hair hung free, untamed as the man, falling over his broad shoulders. His eyes held a silvery, unapproachable flicker that didn’t scare her in the least. She surveyed him from head to toe, awed by the vision of strength and virility he exuded that caused a flagrant rush of heat to warm her body. Juden demanded attention, whether warranted or not, and she couldn’t help being centered on seeing him standing there.
Had it been so long she forgot how exquisite Juden was when he wasn’t scowling? “You needn’t give me that rabid look. ‘Tis not necessary”
“You’re distressed and I want to know why.” Juden eyed Tavian.
As gallant as ever, Tavian faced her, and said, “I believe you are mistaken, Lady Saxby, my brother’s scathing look is not directed at you.”
She was clueless, and Tavian seemed entertained by it. He could barely contain his smile as he explained, saying, “My brother believes I have encroached on his territory and worse offended you.”
“That is ridiculous.” Saxby stared at Juden to validate her words. He did not. He remained starchy eyeing at her.
“You are a delight, Lady Saxby. I assure you the thought isn’t highly implausible. But since I have a wife at home I adore, Juden can retract his claws. Lady Saxby, ‘tis has been my pleasure. If I have upset you, I offer my perfuse apology.” He bowed, and then slammed Juden on the shoulder as he passed him. “Welcome back, brother.”
Juden grunted.
Tavian walked a few steps, paused, and then faced Saxby. “Did you know Tibby was bred to race? Since she was young she had one master, and whom she would obey above anyone else. Given the circumstances, being
in full stride and the adrenaline pumping through her veins, it would have been difficult, if not impossible, for her to stop by your command.”
Saxby looked perplexed, though she was not. She understood what Tavian was telling her, and the truth still hit her hard and hurt like hell. Unable to help herself, she went to Tavian and gave him a big hug. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I would kiss you, but Juden might expire on the spot. He seems terribly jealous.”
Tavian grinned. “Not seems, but is…” He released her and stepped back as Juden started toward them.
Juden captured her arm. “What was that little endearing exchange about?” he said briskly.
Saxby glared at him, which didn’t seem to bother Juden at all. He stood there with his face tight and expression pinched. She wanted to slap him for what he was thinking. “Your brother has been nothing but a—oh!”
He kissed her hard, slammed his mouth viciously, slicing his tongue between her lips, he kissed her into a feverish frenzy she forgot the scolding she intended to give him. When he released her, she felt dizzy with desire and had to clutch his shirt to keep from swaying.
“I don’t give a damn what you think about Tavian,” Juden said bitterly.
She touched her lips with her fingertips still feeling his searing brand. Then snapped out of her spell, and said, “You are being rude.” There was no vinegar in her tone. It was almost a sigh, as she desperately struggled not to succumb. No matter how appealing, desirable, or crazed she was about Juden, he could not simply waltz back into her life after a considerable lapse, without warning, and start bullying her.
It was at the forefront of her mind to tell him. And she would have if he hadn’t wrapped his arm around her waist, yanked hard, sending her crashing into his powerful chest. Instantaneous heat combust inside her body when his lips assaulted with savageness that made her breast tingle, toes curl, and effectively forget her name.
He parlayed with her tongue, quick swipes, deep thrusts, before he tempered the rhythm to an easy and tantalizing tempo. He softened his approach and made her feel as if he made ardent love with a mere kiss.
Breathless, she attempted to push him away. She needed to breathe, think, and stop her world of Juden from spinning out of control.
By Oslei, she did love him!
Juden appraised her, his look affronted, his voice revealed his agitation. “Have I been gone so long I can no longer affect you, Lady Saxby?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know damned well what I meant. Why did you push me away?” Juden sounded gruff, but in his present state, she deemed the reaction acceptable.
“You think you can just return and enter my life like a storm and get away with it? You assume too much.” Why she tortured herself or him, made no sense. Instead of fighting, she wanted to fling herself shamelessly in his arms. Hold on for dear life. Have him make love to her, carry her away into that mindless blissful abyss only Juden could do.
“Do I have to fight my brother for the first time in my life? Or another sap, two, three, or hundreds and reclaim my place with you?” She could tell he was serious.
She tried not to smile but failed miserably. “As if you would,” she said, mildly.
“Don’t underestimate me, darling,” he said, softly.
And with the word “darling,” as if it explained it all, she could no longer deny the insatiable wanting. She stood on tiptoes, he bowed down to her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. She inhaled the scent of her man, purely male and it left her intoxicated.
He brushed his lips against her forehead when she looked up. His grin smug, he teased, “I’m back at the top of the list. I presume.” He kissed her lips, just a taste.
“There is no lengthy register of names, not even one, and you know it.”
Juden chuckled, hugged her closer, and said, “Perfect, because I rode like the devil to return tonight. Too many days in the saddle makes a man weary. Not prime for fighting off what I image would be a liege of suitors.”
Saxby did not respond. There was no need.
Juden picked her up and carried her away into their world.
Chapter 36
Juden braced his arms on both sides of Saxby and hovered over her body. He stared down at her. She laughed softly, with a raised eyebrow that caused him to lift his. “You find my nakedness amusing?” He knew better, and enjoyed the ease of their good-humored bantering.
“I find that after complaining about riding for days without rest, you don’t appear to be fatigued as you claimed. I’m complaining, mind you.”
“Ah, you would be surprised how a luscious, willing female beneath a man can revive him to stud status.” He ran his fingertips down the side of her face, lingered to caress her bottom lip, before he bent low and kissed where he had just stroked.
“A female. Umm, I’m not sure I like the sound of the term.”
“Are you jealous, darling?”
“Should I be?”
Hearing her quick retort, he should have been wary, and might have been if he weren’t enamored with the full breast, beaded nipples poking salaciously when he rubbed their bodies together.
“A question requires an answer, Juden.”
Viola didn’t count in his estimation. Therefore, there was no need to stir the waters unnecessarily. Only a fool would. He said, “Would you stop pouting if I said I have been virginal whilst away?”
Her laugh was addictive, bubbly and fluttery. “Somehow I can’t summon the image of you being—”
“Chaste.” He finished for her. Trailing little bites along her neck, throat, over her shoulders where he paused to nibble.
She curled her arms around his shoulders, smiled seductively. “I was going to say sexual. You do it so well.”
He started to say, “Do you know how many women I fucked? Practice makes perfect.” Then realized some things were better left unspoken. “Thank you for the compliment,” he said with a measure of over confidence. He cupped her bottom and lifted up. Her thighs fell open, welcoming, as he moved into position.
“You know, you’re sinfully arrogant.”
Her tone was tingly and jovial. Her body was supple beneath him. He didn’t take offense when none was intended. “You should feel lucky. I do have the necessary skills to validate your assessment is not overrated. What do you think about that, darling?” he said sounding like black velvet. He navigated a breast with his tongue, tenderly assaulted a nipple with flicks, before enclosing the bud and suckled. Because he knew what it would do, he interchanged the pressure of his mouth between hard and soft, drawing the tip when it hardened, he sought to intensify her pleasure.
He released the bud, letting it pop from his mouth. He nuzzled the full globe with his lips, as he watched her stare down at him, her eyes bright with excitement, silently pleading. Knowing, he smiled faintly, ran a palm over her breast and massaged. “A question requires an answer, Sexy.”
A wicked expression curved her luscious mouth, made her appear impish and adorably cuter. Her tone was low and sultry, an alluring sound made his cock twitch and stretch. She said, “I don’t feel lucky presently. Perhaps if your cock was inside me?” she pouted, clearly making a poignant statement that didn’t go unnoticed.
“I do like a challenge.”
“Are you saying I am not?”
Unsure where the question derived from, not really caring now, with gentlemen aplomb he effectively responded evasively. “If I said I have no idea what you are asking, would you be terribly upset?”
“This, us, is it a transitory moment that will pass when you tire of me and move to the next conquest?”
There, she did away with any possibility to use generalities when responding, thereby forcing him to reply and leave out subjective remarks. Touché. He wasn’t in the mindset to play twenty questions, at the moment. Tactfully, he refused to respond, thinking the maneuver, though gauche, seemed warranted. She held on, refusing to let the matter drop, no surprise t
here. “Are you avoiding my question? Are you afraid that to hear the truth will disappoint me?”
“Neither,” he said, drily.
“I don’t believe you.”
He smiled slightly, knowing, again, when not to charter into murky waters. “You want to argue, darling?” He ran his fingers along her belly, further downward, until his palm rested on her mound where he exerted enough pressure to make her quiver. It was beastly, he knew what he was doing, and he looked up at her with a feral grin, saying in throaty rasp. “I’d rather be fucking this enticing pussy.” He slid a finger into the moist crevice. An action used to gain her compliance, though unnecessary, he knew, his blunt comment ignited through her brain like wildfire. Precisely, his intention, and he didn’t feel repentant. How could he be? Not with his erection poised to enter the pulsating, fiery, moist pussy, he felt when he glided his cock along her cleft. He had only to take his pleasure. He paused instead. “I shouldn’t attempt to gain your acquiescence except I want it. Say you want me.”
Her retort was sassy. “What if I don’t?”
He laughed softly. “You don’t lie very well. ‘Tis a positive,” he murmured, raised that infinite amount necessary to possess her in one swift potent thrust of his hips that buried his cock deep.
A soft cry slipped from her lips. In that instant, he feared he had been overzealous, unrestrained, and fumbled his entry. Something he did not do the first time he had sex or ever.
Profusely apologetic, he murmured against her lips. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Feeling diplomacy was required, he made to withdraw.
“No. Don’t you dare.” She clutched his butt, squeezed her thighs, and locked around his flanks.
“I’m not accustomed to taking orders, but that aside to discuss later. I must be damned horny, maybe feel obligatory, or whatever.” he hummed, adjusted his body to guide the crest of his cock into the heated sheath. She purred appreciatively. He lifted her legs around his waist, higher on his back, so he could delve deeper. The experience of feeling more of the soft, squishy, hot pussy made his craving greater. “Ah…there, is that what you want? All of this.” He flexed his hips, drove deeper still. “‘Tis yours, you can have it, as much as you desire,” he cooed, whispered sweet nothings, repeatedly guided his shaft in succinct pulses that made him forge to the depths and plunder greedily.
Barbour, Carolina - Watch Me, Desire Me (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 22
