During the thirty minute drive, Mary tried to silence the persistent negative thoughts that kept going through her mind. Until she knew better, she wasn’t going to jump to any conclusions.
Maybe they just screwed up the films or something. It wouldn’t be the first time that happened. She’d been called back before because the radiologist wanted a clearer picture or a slightly different angle, but they usually took care of that kind of thing before she left.
Then again, she had been in such a hurry after her appointment – it was the day she was meeting Aidan for lunch – that she’d snuck out of the waiting room the moment they had taken all the scans without exactly waiting for them to give her the okay to go.
“Yeah, that’s probably all it is,” Mary said, as if saying the words out loud in an otherwise empty Jeep would make them true.
It didn’t help that she had been in a negative state of mind to begin with. Ever since his abrupt and unexpected departure on Saturday morning, Aidan hadn’t called, texted, or stopped by. She hadn’t tried to contact him, either. She figured that since he was the one who had walked out, it was up to him to decide to come back.
She didn’t understand why he was so upset. Alright, she could see how that kind of information caught him by surprise. If he had told her that he’d been married before, it certainly would have given her an uncomfortable moment or two, too.
But would she have behaved as if he had purposely betrayed her? No. As surprising as such knowledge was, it mattered little now. Yes, she had been married, but that had been a long time ago. For more than five years Mary had been alone, though in truth, it felt like much longer. Cam’s disease and the brutal effects of the treatment had left him little more than a shell long before his actual death.
Maybe she should have told Aidan right up front. She hadn’t deliberately been hiding it from him, but she had to admit, it was awfully nice to spend time with someone who didn’t know. Everyone in Birch Falls still looked at her as the tragic young bride who had lost her husband, a husband who had been a much-loved member of their community. The sympathy, the pity, was still in their eyes every time they looked at her.
She hadn’t minded so much at first; it was almost comforting in a way. People knew what she had been through and tended to go out of their way to be kind. Mary expected that as time began the slow process of healing her wounds, it would heal theirs, too. But here it was, five years later, and they were still treating her like Cam’s tragic widow.
It had become so tiresome, in fact, that Mary had gone as far as to call the local realtor and get her house appraised a few years ago. When word got around that Mary was thinking of selling and moving away, her phone hadn’t stopped ringing for months. Well-intentioned locals – those who had loved Cam and had felt it was their duty to look after her after his death – took it as failure on their part and stepped up their efforts. Eventually Mary put her plans to relocate on the back burner just so she could get some peace.
Maybe, she thought, it was time to revisit those plans. Only this time, she was going to call a realtor from outside of Birch Falls.
As she passed over the bridge into Pine Ridge, she saw the sign for the turn-off to the exclusive Celtic Goddess resort and her thoughts went back to Aidan. Was Aidan there now? Was he, unlike her, able to concentrate enough to actually go to work and accomplish something?
The thought hurt. Because as much as she had loved Cam, what she had felt for him didn’t come close to the intensity of the feelings she’d developed for Aidan. Loving Cam had been comfortable, easy; like slipping into your favorite pair of well-worn jeans or a warm bath. Loving Aidan was like being caught in a raging flood or free-falling from ten-thousand feet.
Oh, God, she thought, as it hit her.
She really was in love with Aidan.
Chapter Twelve
“Enough,” Lexi said, planting herself in Aidan’s office and locking the door behind her. “What the hell is going on between you and your croie?”
Lexi knew he’d been doing his best to avoid her, citing a backlog of work since he’d been out of the country for several weeks trying to personally resolve issues with their Mediterranean suppliers, but she was not fooled. There were others who could have seen to it; men and women who were paid extremely well to negotiate such things.
She also knew that neither the negotiations nor a backlog would have kept him from visiting with her. They never had before. But Aidan hadn’t been down to the kitchens once since his return, and he’d done little more than exchange a few inane platitudes in their minimal brief encounters before scurrying off with yet another excuse.
Lexi was not going to let him get away with it any longer.
Aidan glanced up from his desk, looking as bad as Lexi had ever seen him. His skin was pale, his face drawn and worn, and it looked as though he hadn’t slept for days. No wonder he’d been avoiding her.
“Shouldn’t you be in the kitchens cooking something?” he said, his voice unusually cutting. It was enough to give her pause. Aidan had never spoken to her like that. Ever. Good thing she was no longer the introverted teen she’d once been or she might have taken it personally.
“Shouldn’t you get your head out of your ass and start talking to me?” Lexi crossed her arms over her chest and gave him her best death glare.
Aidan glared right back. Long minutes stretched between them before Aidan exhaled heavily.
“I was... wrong about Mary. She’s not what I thought she was.”
Lexi held in the gasp that threatened to escape. There was no mistake. “Bullshit,” she snorted. “I saw the two of you together, remember?”
Aidan didn’t respond. Instead he reached into his drawer and pulled out a bottle of Scotch. He poured a drink for himself and took a long deep swallow, then refilled the glass.
“Aidan, what happened?” Now more concerned than angry, her voice was softer than it had been. Lexi sank into the chair next to his desk.
He swirled the glass in his hand, his eyes fixed on the amber liquid. He was quiet for so long, she didn’t think he’d answer.
“She was married, Lex.”
Lexi blinked once, then twice, waiting for the rest of it. When he didn’t say any more, she prompted, “So?”
“So? She was married, Lex. As in, committed to another man. Vowed to love, honor, and cherish till death do them part,” he spat, the raw pain in his voice a sharp blade.
“Again I ask, so?”
He laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “So from all this croie bullshit you’ve been feeding me for the past five fucking years, she can’t possibly be mine now, can she?”
“Let me get this straight,” Lexi said slowly. “You think because she was once married, she can’t be the one for you?”
“Ding ding ding. Give the lady a prize. Christ, Lex. You claim that you and Ian are croies. Could you picture yourself married to someone else?”
“Yes, actually,” Lexi said truthfully. “To be honest, there was a time when I thought I’d marry you.”
Aidan’s head whipped up. “What?”
Lexi nodded. “It’s true. You were – are - my best friend, Aidan. Often times my only friend. You took care of me, stood up for me, protected me when no one else did. You made me laugh, held me when I cried, and saved my life more times than I could count. So, yeah, it seemed reasonable to think we might end up together.”
Aidan stared at her in disbelief. “But Ian is your croie. You have always loved him.”
“Yes, he is, and yes, I have. But I never believed Ian and I would end up together, did I? And even though I thought I loved him, I had no idea what it would truly be like.” She paused, searching for a way to explain it. “I think we could have been happy, you and I. I do love you, you know.”
“I know,” he sighed. “And I love you. But not like Ian does.”
“Exactly. And not like you love Mary. So maybe some other guy made Mary happy for a little while. But that was before she me
t you. I bet she never even knew she could feel the way she feels about you.”
* * *
Aidan considered Lexi’s words. In a way, it made sense. Hadn’t he once considered proposing to Lexi himself? If her father hadn’t died, she wouldn’t have returned to Pine Ridge and hooked up with Ian, and they probably would be married right now. And he probably would be happy. But that was because he’d never met his true mate and known the difference between contentment and nirvana.
“How much do you know about Mary’s marriage, Aidan?” Lexi asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Nothing,” Aidan admitted. “I was so angry when I found out that I left before she could tell me anything.” He ran his hand down his face. “I walked out, Lex, mad as hell because I thought I’d fooled myself into thinking Mary was something she wasn’t.”
“But she is, isn’t she?”
The look on Aidan’s face was tortured. “I don’t know, Lex. I swear to God I don’t fucking know.”
But he did know that for a brief, glorious time he’d thought all of his dreams had come true. And that ever since he’d stalked out of Mary’s house that morning, his insides felt like they had been shredded and dipped in acid.
“Want my advice?” Lexi said, standing up.
“Not really,” he said with a rueful grin, knowing she would give it to him anyway.
“Tough. Call her. Take her to dinner and listen to what she has to say before it’s too late.”
“Before it’s too late?” Aidan repeated. “Do you know something I don’t, Lex?”
She gave him a small, sad smile. “Just talk to her Aidan. She deserves that, at least.”
After Lexi left, Aidan tossed back what remained of his Scotch and poured another, the lingering feeling of doom hanging over him like a black cloud. Maybe Lexi was right. Maybe he should have talked with her about it instead of rushing out.
Seeing those pictures, holding those rings, had felt like a betrayal. But it wasn’t, not really. It happened before they met, though he didn’t know just how long ago. Mary looked much younger in the pictures he’d seen. Younger, and, he realized, much sadder.
It was still like a stake in his heart. That’s what it felt like, the unwelcome knowledge that some other man had been intimate with her. It wasn’t just about the sex, although the thought of another man touching her as he had colored his vision with a red haze. Sex wasn’t the same thing as love; he knew that better than anyone.
No, it was the idea that she had cared for another man enough to marry him that cut him up inside. To give to another that which he craved so fiercely.
But in his heart, he knew that wasn’t completely true. Mary had never submitted to another man as wholly and completely as she had with him – hadn’t she told him that much? Which meant that maybe, just maybe, Lexi was right.
Damn it. He had to see her. He had to look in her eyes and hear her say that she wanted him, only him. That what she had before wasn’t the same as what she had with him. Perhaps it was selfish and unfair of him to expect to hear it, but there it was.
Aidan stood up suddenly and had to grab his desk when he felt a sudden wave of dizziness. Just how many drinks had he had?
He sank back into his chair. Was this what he had to look forward to without Mary in his life? Hitting the Scotch in the middle of the day? Not eating? Not sleeping? Withdrawing from his family and friends? Feeling sorry for himself?
It was like New Year’s Eve all over again, but a hundred times worse.
Except that night, Mary had saved him. Despite the fact that she didn’t know him from Adam. Despite the fact that he was drunk and showed incredibly poor judgment. Despite the fact that the car he was driving was one step away from being sold for scrap.
Aidan dropped his head into his hands. God, what she must have thought of him! And she had still taken him home. Mary, while kind and compassionate, was not the sort of woman to do something so reckless. She must have gone against every ounce of common sense she had for him that night.
Why? What had she seen in him? Had she, on some subconscious level, recognized him as her croie even then?
She had taken him into her home without question. Cared for him. Fed him. Given him two of the most glorious nights of his life by surrendering herself to him. Hell. She’d shown an unbelievable amount of faith in him; even now he had trouble wrapping his mind around that.
And what had he done? He’d ignored all of that and dropped her like a rotten sack of potatoes the moment he discovered something from her past. It wasn’t even something bad. She’d been married. Years before they’d ever met. And he’d treated it like some horrible betrayal.
And he hadn’t exactly been honest with her, had he? He hadn’t gotten around to telling her exactly who and what he was. If anyone had a right to call foul based on sins of omission, it was Mary.
He glanced at the calendar. February 16th. Two days after Valentine’s Day.
With a snort he remembered the grand plans he’d had for the holiday. If he hadn’t gone snooping and found that damn box, he and Mary would probably still be celebrating in a bed somewhere. Except she wouldn’t be completely naked. She’d be wearing his ring.
Aidan picked up his phone and dialed Mary’s cell. She must have turned it off; it went right to voicemail. “Mary, it’s Aidan. I’d really like to talk to you. Please, call me.”
Unwilling to give up just yet, Aidan dialed her house phone. It rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello?”
The voice on the other end wasn’t Mary’s.
Thinking that in his distraction he’d thumbed the wrong number, Aidan apologized and hung up. When he redialed, however, the same voice answered. A male voice.
“Hello?”
“I’d like to speak with Mary, please.” It took every bit of self-control he had not to throw the phone against the wall and smash it into a thousand pieces. Was he so easily replaced? Had this guy fucked up like he had, and Mary felt the need to care for him, too? Or was he the ex that Aidan hated so passionately without ever having met?
“Mary’s not here. Can I take a message?”
Aidan paused. “Why are you in Mary’s house if she’s not there?”
“I’m dog sitting.”
“Why does Max need a sitter? Where’s Mary?”
The easy-going voice on the other end hardened. “Who is this?”
“Aidan Harrison. Where is Mary?” he repeated.
“Aidan Harrison,” the man said, his voice growing noticeably cooler. “Yeah, she told me about you. What do you want?”
Aidan wondered exactly what Mary had said. Judging by the ice in the guy’s tone, it wasn’t anything overly flattering. “I want to speak to Mary.”
“Well, she’s not here.”
“Yes, so you’ve said.” Aidan reached deep for patience. “Who are you, anyway?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m Andrew.”
Aidan searched his memory for the familiar name. “You own the flower shop with her.”
“So I guess she talks about me, huh?” Aidan recognized it for the taunt that it was. He had the sudden and violent urge to reach out and yank that smugness right out of the bastard’s throat. Then he remembered that Mary seemed to think very highly of him and swallowed what he was going to say next. Instead he said, “You are very important to her.”
The man didn’t seem to have expected that. He was silent for several minutes. Aidan could hear Max’s nails lightly tapping on the ceramic tile, followed by the soft sound of jingling tags as if Andrew was petting him. Aidan might not know much about Mary’s past, but he did know she would never willingly leave Max with someone else unless she had no other choice.
“Andrew, where is Mary?”
“Before I answer that – and I’m not saying I’m going to – let me ask you something. Are you really Aidan Harrison?”
“Yes.”
“CEO of the Celtic Goddess Aidan Harrison?”
“Yes.”
“Worth more money than I’ll ever see in my fucking life Aidan Harrison?”
Aidan sighed. “Yes.”
“Well, damn,” Andrew breathed.
“Does Mary know?”
“About that stuff? No,” Andrew admitted. “Believe it or not, Mary could care less about that kind of stuff. If she did, she never would have married Cam.”
Cam. Now he had a name. “Tell me.”
“Look, I’m not sure I should be telling you anything, man, but for whatever reason, Mary likes you, and I haven’t known her to be wrong about anyone yet.”
Aidan didn’t know what to say about that, so he said nothing.
“You millionaire types like pizza and beer?” he finally asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good. Me and Max haven’t eaten yet. What do you say to heading over this way and bringing a large pepperoni and bacon from Mario’s and a six pack with you?”
That’s how Aidan found himself at Mary’s door less than an hour later. From the outside, everything looked the same, but from the moment he stepped inside, it felt wrong. This was Mary’s house. She should be here.
The two men appraised each other. Andrew was a couple of inches shorter than Aidan, with dark reddish brown hair, cut close. He was casually dressed in jeans, white leather high-tops, and a long sleeved T that showed he was in decent shape. He looked nice enough, until Aidan saw the intensity of his eyes. This was the type of man people tended to underestimate, Aidan sensed immediately. He would not make that mistake.
Andrew smirked when he saw Aidan dressed similarly. “At least you don’t dress like a wealthy, arrogant, self-serving prick.” He relieved Aidan of the beer and walked toward the kitchen.
“At least you don’t have any preconceived notions,” Aidan shot back following along behind him.
Andrew snorted, dropping the beer on the table before opening the back door. Max bounded in and made a beeline straight for Aidan. Andrew watched closely as Aidan greeted him.
Bottom Line: Callaghan Brothers, Book 8 Page 13
