‘Were they anything at all to do with giving yourself completely to a boy from the bush?’ There was a glint of sudden humour in his eyes, but it didn’t strike an answering chord in her.
‘You don’t still believe that of me, do you, Angus?’
The glint disappeared. ‘I sometimes watch the way you walk and talk, the way you are with people, the way you light up a room with your presence and grace and humour, your essentially well-bred composure—and I sometimes think there’s an ultimate reserve in you I could never break through. And I remember that I didn’t own my first suit until I was twenty-two and it was a second-hand one. Sometimes, I can’t help wondering if there’s a connection.’
Domenica closed her eyes again because she was more moved than she’d ever been in her life. ‘The only ultimate reserve in me,’ she said barely audibly, ‘is the fear that you don’t love me the way I love you. That’s why I clung to Primrose. I could never quite shake the shadow of why you hadn’t asked me to marry you long before you did, and I couldn’t help feeling, once we were married, that nothing had changed, that marriage had even divided us.’
Her lashes fluttered up. ‘But I came to my senses and finally saw what I was doing. So, I’ve also…done some rearranging, Angus. I didn’t tell you this but I got an offer to buy out my share of Primrose a few weeks ago and—I’ve now sold.’
He made a harsh sound and got up abruptly to come round the table to her. ‘You didn’t have to.’
‘Yes, I did,’ she said serenely. ‘Natalie is happy with the new partner and I’ll still design for them but I had to let you know, whether you still wanted me—or not, that there were no more escape clauses for me and no more attempts to be a part-time wife.’
He pulled her up into his arms and held her desperately close for a long time. ‘Whether I still want you is not an issue, Domenica,’ he said unevenly. ‘I always will. So—’ he lifted his head to look into her eyes ‘—it seems we’re of one mind at last. But I can’t tell you how awful I feel about being so bloody stupid for so long, and forcing you to do this, though.’
She touched her finger to the scar at the end of his eyebrow. ‘Don’t. When the time came to sign the last document I felt like a new person. I hadn’t realized what a weight it had all become—even apart from how it was keeping us apart. And how I was finding less and less time, and inspiration, to do what I really love doing and that’s designing.’
‘I still feel terrible for being stupid and blind and self-centred for so long.’
She kissed him. ‘Angus, you achieved so much and you did things so tough as a kid, it would have been a miracle if there hadn’t been some price to pay. But, if it gets tough for you again and the past is hard to slough off, just remember you’ve got me and I love you.’
‘What’s so funny?’ he asked, quite a lot later.
Their lovemaking had been different again, as intense as ever but bringing them closer in mental unity than they’d ever been before as they’d told each other things they’d never said before. And revelled in the freedom to do so. Then, when they’d quietened, she’d started to laugh softly.
She stroked his bare shoulder and moved sensuously against him beneath the sheet. ‘I’m just meditating upon the fact that my famed composure has now deserted me twice in one day.’
‘Ah.’ He glinted a wicked look down at her. ‘Well, I long ago realized that waste-disposal units, lawnmowers and the like didn’t bring out the best in you—in fact, that you really couldn’t be held responsible for your actions in relation to them.’
She laughed again and he slid his fingers through her hair and kissed her cheek. ‘That also strikes you as funny?’ he queried.
‘Yes,’ she conceded. ‘Because the one thing that I really can’t be held responsible for are my actions in relation to you. But I’m also thanking heaven I didn’t send you away thinking I hated you earlier on.’
They were lying facing each other on the pillow and he put his hand on the slender column of her neck. ‘I love you even when you’re kicking lawnmowers. I love you even more, if that’s possible, when you’re all worked up and spitting fire. As for the second time you lost your famed composure today—’
She trembled.
‘Would that have been about twenty minutes ago, in this bed, in my arms?’
‘Yes, Angus, but then I’ve never had any composure when you set your mind to wreck it.’
‘Domenica—’ He stopped suddenly and held her hard. ‘Do you know what I did after you walked out?’
‘No…’
‘I rang up a friend of mine and I arranged with him to fly me to Tibooburra at first light the next morning, and I went to see my father’s grave. I went back to see it all. Then I flew to Newcastle, where my mother is buried, and I told them both that their seed would live on in me, and in you, even if I had to move heaven and earth to get you back. And that all the tragedy and loss of their lives and my early life would be reversed in ours, like a desert coming to bloom at last. Because you, and what you do to me, make you the one person I couldn’t live without.’
Domenica swallowed a lump in her throat but couldn’t hide the tears in her eyes. ‘Thank you for that. Oh, Angus—’ she was suddenly so radiant, he drew an unsteady breath ‘—I once thought you’d made a new woman of me but that was nothing to this!’
It was the middle of the afternoon when they strolled outside. They’d showered together and because she felt like a new woman she’d put on one of her favourites, a scarlet top with narrow straps and a long, lovely full skirt. It was an outfit that always made her feel carefree and happy. Her hair was loosely tied back, her feet were bare, but she slipped on her engagement ring which she hadn’t worn for a week and a half. It was a beautiful afternoon, blue, gold and green.
‘It looks like a whole new world,’ she said wonderingly.
‘It looks to me like a kingdom, and well-named. And you—’ he looked down at her ‘—are my quintessential mysterious Indian princess and wild gypsy girl all rolled into one in that dress. You look stunning.’
She swung her arms. ‘I feel stunning, thanks to you. You know, I once, in just about this very spot, thought that you wouldn’t make a bad Sheik of Araby.’
He looked down at himself ruefully. He was wearing jeans and his khaki bush shirt.
‘It’s not anything to do with clothes,’ she said. ‘It’s sheer sex appeal. And, although I was a little annoyed at the time, it didn’t fail to hit me.’
‘You mean—the first time we met?’ He raised an eyebrow at her.
‘I do,’ she said gravely
‘You didn’t show it—then.’
‘That’s because I’d only just met you.’ She composed her features and looked down her nose at him.
But when they’d stopped laughing, he said, ‘I know I did this once before, with disastrous consequences, but these roses are the real thing.’ And he broke off a perfect Peace rose and handed it to her.
She took it and breathed in the fragrance. Then she lifted her face to his and said simply, ‘Peace—and love.’
He took her hand. ‘Peace and love, Domenica,’ he agreed.
ISBN: 978-1-4592-0053-1
BY MARRIAGE DIVIDED
First North American Publication 2002.
Copyright © 2000 by Lindsay Armstrong.
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By Marriage Divided Page 16
