Anxious to frost the cake, she touched one of the layers to see if it was cool. It was, so she started slathering on the cocoa-flavored icing while she made small talk with her parents.
Just as she finished, the doorbell rang and rang and rang. It was like a child was playing with it, but she suspected her brother was egging the little rascals on. Thank God the Excedrin was starting to kick in. She scurried to the door and left the too-long scarf draped over the nearby banister. Jerking open the door, she caught her brother in the act, Johnny chuckling and pointing at the button while his son pushed it again. Three other munchkins took their turns hitting it one more time.
“That’s enough. Come on in. Zoe has been hoping to have someone to play Jenga with.”
Her towheaded nieces and nephews cheered and ran upstairs to find their cousin. Her brother had quadruplets--two boys and two girls. They disappeared into Zoe’s bedroom while Melodie gave her older brother a hug. “You’re incorrigible.”
“That’s what my ex-wife tells me.” The smile didn’t leave his face as he handed her a yellow gift box that had a sucker taped to the card. Everyone knew Zoe’s favorite color was yellow.
“How are things going between you two? Seriously.” They had separated two years ago, right after Paul had passed, and had only recently signed the papers agreeing to joint custody. She’d never gotten a straight answer as to what had gone wrong.
He stuck out his tongue and made a funny face. “If divorce wasn’t fun, so many people wouldn’t be doing it.”
She placed his gift on the foyer table next to the package her parents had brought. “I don’t think it’s supposed to be fun.”
“Really?” He shrugged.
“Really. Now widowhood—that’s a riot.” She smirked at him and was so glad he was there. It had been too long since she’d joked with him, too long since she felt the safety net of family around her.
“Sorry about that, sis. Paul was one in a million.” He touched her shoulder and she shrugged it off. If she wasn’t careful, she’d lose it in front of her family. She preferred to cry in her room, alone, after Zoe had gone to bed. That was the proper way to grieve.
They made their way into the living room where her father stood at the window, staring at the neglected field. “What were you going to plant back there?”
“Corn.”
“Are the chickens laying a lot of eggs?”
“Sure are. In fact, no one is allowed to leave today without taking a dozen home with them. Maybe I should stick a sign in the yard and start selling them.”
A worried look crossed his face. “That’s what people did during the Depression.”
Her mom shifted in her seat. “Are things really that bad, dear?”
Glancing toward the stairs to make sure none of the kids were listening, Melodie swallowed. “As you know, Paul didn’t have much life insurance since he was born with that heart defect.” She shook her head. “He worked too hard. We never should’ve bought this place.”
Her dad squinted at a bird chirping frantically in a distant tree. “Living in the country was his dream. A man needs a reason to get out of bed in the morning, you know.”
Yes, Melodie understood. That’s why her dad had been flitting from one hobby to the next. He no longer had a dream to work toward. He’d devoted his life to running a chain of hotels and he’d never had time for much else. Now that he was retired, he didn’t know what to do with himself.
His eyes lit up. “I know! I’ll move in here and help get those crops planted.”
Melodie crossed her arms. “Uh, Dad, it’s November. I think we’ve missed planting season.”
“Whatever. I’ll help with the chickens. I’ll fix up the farm equipment.”
She looked at her mother for support, but she didn’t seem to have a problem with her husband moving in with their daughter. “You don’t know how to run a farm.”
“I’ll just Google it.”
Johnny laughed. “That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it?”
Their dad looked Johnny in the eye. “The internet is a wonderful invention. I wish I would’ve thought of it.”
“Yeah. Then we’d all be rich.” Melodie went to the adjoining kitchen just to give herself some space. “Johnny, you want anything to drink? Maybe something with caffeine after your long drive?” Spotting the jar of cherries sitting on the counter, she opened them.
“No, thanks. I’m high on life.”
Their mom sucked in her breath. “You’re high?!?”
“Mom, I’m forty years old. You no longer have to worry about me giving in to peer pressure.” He rolled his eyes for Melodie’s benefit, then pretended to inhale on a doobie.
Melodie couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe that’s why he got divorced—because all of the cool kids were doing it.”
Again, their mother breathed in quickly. “That’s not funny. I worry about you two. No matter how old you’ll get, you’ll always be my babies. Which is why I think you, Melodie, should move back home.”
Melodie sent Johnny a pleading look. She loved her parents, but she was too old to have to ask permission to go out at night. Not that she ever did go out. But maybe someday.
Johnny raised his pointer finger in the air. “If Melodie’s moving anywhere, I call dibs. She can be my full-time nanny. What do you think, sis? Raising five kids isn’t much harder than one, ya know.” He winked at her.
Melodie placed the red fruit in a ring on top of the chocolate icing. Hopefully Zoe wouldn’t mind a break from the traditional cherry cake. “I’m not going anywhere. At least not yet. I’m thinking of selling this place, but if I do, Zoe and I will find ourselves something a little more manageable. Besides, I had a job interview the other day that went pretty well.” She bluffed her way through all of her parents’ questions about the abysmal job hunt while she cooked hot dogs on the stove. “Kids! Time to eat!”
The five blond kids came running like the bulls in Spain. They ate the hot dogs eagerly while they eyed dessert. The youngest, Junior, refused to eat the bun, but his father let it slide. After lunch wrapped up in record time, Melodie lit the six candles. Everyone stood and sang the birthday song, then Zoe blew out the candles.
As the knife sliced through the cake, her daughter put her hand on her hip. “That isn’t cherry chip.”
Nodding, Melodie placed the first piece in a bowl. “I know. I burned it, remember? But Grandma brought us real cherries to put on top. Nothing tastes better than chocolate and cherries.” She tried her best to sell it, despite feeling like a failure. If only she hadn’t had that migraine the day she’d baked the original cake. It seemed like she was getting more and more headaches ever since her daughter had started kindergarten.
“Did Daddy like chocolate cake?” her daughter asked.
Melodie winced. Zoe had been asking a lot of questions about Paul lately and Melodie worried someday he’d be more a collection of stories than real memories to her daughter. “Yes. Everybody in our family likes chocolate cake.”
“Not me,” her nephew said.
Johnny chucked his son’s shoulder. “That’s not true.” He leaned toward Melodie. “He’s a bit contrary these days.”
Melodie pulled the carton of Breyer’s from the freezer and faced her nephew. “Do you still like ice cream?”
He grinned. “Yep.”
“I guess we’ll have to give you double to make up for no cake.”
Later, as the kids and grandparents built a fort with pillows and blankets, Melodie walked along the river with her brother. With his graying temples and broad shoulders, he looked more like an aging quarterback than a pharmaceutical executive. Always quick with a smile, he’d never once let on that his personal life was falling apart until it was too late.
It didn’t take her long to cut through the small talk and move on to the big stuff. “What really happened in your marriage? I thought you two were soulmates.”
“Soulmates. Was I ever so naïve as to believe in
that?”
“Yes. So, what happened?”
He reached down and picked up a rock to toss in the water. “I don’t want to bog you down with my stuff. You’ve got plenty of your own problems.”
She found her own stone and tossed it, trying to go farther than his. “Okay. How are Mom and Dad?” Since he still lived in Lansing, her brother tended to have the inside scoop on their parents.
“As long as Dad never runs out of things to Google, I think they’ll be fine.” The old sibling rivalry circulated as they continued their rock tossing competition. He looked like he might hurt his shoulder if she didn’t let him win. The problem was, lawyers never let someone else win.
“I can’t believe he thought he could Google farming and move in with me. That’s the last thing I need.”
“What do you need?”
She shook her head and found another stone. It didn’t go very far. “First Paul died and then you got divorced. I’m starting to lose faith in people staying together for the long haul.”
“Don’t be silly. Paul didn’t leave you. If he hadn’t had that heart attack, he’d be here now. I know he’d want to be with you and Zoe.”
“It feels like he left me. I miss having someone to bounce ideas off of. I miss having someone to discuss raising Zoe with. Should I let her get her ears pierced? Should I let her play at the neighbor’s? Should I move back to Lansing and beg for my old job back? It’s so hard doing everything alone.”
“Have you dated anybody?”
“Ha. I’m not ready for that.”
He pointed at her wedding ring. “No one’s ever gonna ask you out with that on your finger, you know.”
“That’s fine with me. I can take care of Zoe all by myself.” Her gaze fell to the gold band embedded with diamonds. When she’d been an attorney, the ring matched her expensive wardrobe and lifestyle, but now on the farm, it seemed ridiculous.
He tossed another rock, skipping it this time. “I’m seeing someone.”
“You are? How are you not jaded like I am?”
He sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “Because. Human beings are social creatures. I’ve analyzed what went wrong in my marriage and I’m determined not to let it happen next time.”
“Next time? Are you thinking of getting married again?”
Shrugging his shoulders, he looked away. “Maybe.”
“What went wrong? You didn’t cheat, did you?” She hit his shoulder.
“Of course not. Raising multiples is stressful. Apparently, I didn’t always ease my wife’s burden. She said sometimes it was like she had five kids instead of four.”
“But that’s what makes you so lovable. You shouldn’t have to change.”
“It takes two to divorce and I’m willing to accept my part of the blame. I should’ve taken all of the kids on the weekends sometimes to give her a break. She was home with them during the week and then she’d always take at least two with her to the grocery store or to run errands on the weekends. She never got any time to herself.”
Melodie understood. Until Zoe started school, taking a shower was the only time she’d had to herself. And she had one kid. Four had to be a handful. She couldn’t imagine what it was like when they all got sick. “I should’ve offered to babysit more.”
“No, it’s not your fault. It was my responsibility to pay closer attention to my wife. Instead, I worked and goofed off with the kids. Next time around, I’m going to look into my wife’s eyes on a regular basis and make sure everything’s okay.”
“Awww, you’re so sweet.” She playfully shoved his shoulder. “So you might get married again. Wow. I didn’t see that coming.”
“What about you? When are you going to move on?”
What about her? Would she ever walk down the aisle again? She couldn’t even imagine wanting to kiss another man—let alone trust him enough to join their lives. “I don’t think so. Paul was so great, I don’t think anyone could compare.”
“Then don’t compare them. You said yourself you wish you had someone by your side. Keep your heart open.”
She rolled her eyes. “You sound like a jewelry commercial.”
“That or a Viagra commercial.”
“Ewwww!”
CHAPTER SIX
While Willow was at physical therapy, Bethany stopped by the church where her parents worked—hoping to see one and avoid the other. As she climbed down the stairs to the basement, she heard the organist practicing The Old Rugged Cross and she hummed along. Hymns always did that to her. Made her forget all the bad parts of growing up there and remember only the good.
Quick, determined footsteps came toward her and soon she came face-to-face with her father. “Uh, hi.”
His rectangular glasses were perched on top of his gray hair and his expression remained neutral. “Your mother tells me you’ve been taking Willow to the church on Anthony Street. I’m glad to know your upbringing wasn’t a total loss.”
She crossed her arms and took a breath. Willow needed so much and Beth was determined to provide it. She suspected organized religion brought comfort to the little girl who’d had a chaotic life. “Sometimes children need to believe in a higher power. They like to feel that God will protect them.”
“Oh, so religion is only for children?”
She let out a sigh. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that as we grow up, we realize that God isn’t always going to save us. We have to live with our own mistakes.”
He cocked his head at her. “You admit it’s your fault your life turned out the way it did?”
Her blood started to boil. “Let’s not get into it today, Dad. I came to see Mom.”
He swooshed his open hand toward the basement. “Don’t let me stop you.”
She pushed her 5’4” body against the wall to get past him, careful not to touch. As she continued on her way, she let her father’s judgment tumble through her brain. She’d gotten pregnant in college, placed the baby for adoption without telling her parents and apparently, her dad would never get over it. Well, Hannah was seventeen now and Beth no longer considered her a mistake. Having her before Beth was prepared to take care of her was certainly not ideal, but she couldn’t regret that she’d been born. Hannah was smart and creative and wonderful.
Soon she found herself outside of the classroom where her mother volunteered teaching immigrants English. Fortunately, her mom sat at a desk preparing lessons in an empty room. Beth walked inside.
Her mother’s silver bob swung as she stood to give Beth a hug. “What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?”
Beth pulled the folded envelope from her purse and handed it to her. “For the first time Willow’s mother wrote her a letter.” Beth had been caring for Willow for five months and before that, the girl had been living in a group home. The people there had said Willow hadn’t had contact with either of her parents, who were both in jail.
They took seats across from one another. A crease formed between her mom’s salt-and-pepper eyebrows as she read the letter. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you think she’s reaching out now?”
Beth shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if I should give it to Willow or not.”
“Does she ever talk about her mother?”
“Not to me. The counselor she sees says her mother is the reason she doesn’t trust people. She’s the reason she hoards food. From what I’ve been told, her mother was more focused on drinking and guys than she was on taking care of her children.”
Her mom shook her head and made a pitying sound. “It’s been my experience with children who’ve been neglected or abused, some part of them still loves their parents. A part of them craves their approval. Especially at Willow’s age.”
“You think I should give her the letter.”
“I think she might be comforted to know that her mother remembers her.”
“But I don’t want to take her to prison for a visit.” Beth shivered. All she knew about pr
ison was what she’d seen in the movies and on TV, but figured it wasn’t much better in real life. The little girl might not even be allowed to hug her mother. Wouldn’t that be torture?
“Can Willow read cursive?”
The synapses started firing in Beth’s brain. “Not much. So I could read the letter to her and edit out some of the selfish lines. Maybe add in some more maternal words of concern.”
“I’m not usually one to endorse stretching the truth, but in this case, it might be for the best.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Beth leaned forward and gave her a hug. “You always have the answers.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. And you know I’m always here for you, but it’s going to have to be via long distance for a while.”
“Why?”
“I need go to Arkansas to stay with Aunt Hilda. She fell and broke her hip and she needs someone to help her around the house.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“Several weeks. Maybe months. As long as it takes an eighty-year-old woman’s bones to heal.”
“But Willow and I will miss you.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I’ll miss you, too, but it’s not only the Christian thing to do, it’s what family does for each other.”
Beth nodded. “How soon do you leave?”
“Next week. I have some things to finish up first.”
“Can you still babysit on Wednesday?” She had a date that she didn’t want to miss.
“Yes, in exchange for a favor.” Her mom reached for the tiny gold cross hanging on a chain around her neck and pulled it side to side. “Will you bring Willow by to see your father while I’m gone? He’s going to be a bit lonely and he just adores her.”
Panic gripped Beth’s chest. “Willow likes him, too, but I don’t think he’ll want to see me. We need you there as our buffer.”
“Your father doesn’t like to admit it, but he misses you. You two used to be so close.”
“Yeah, when I was ten.” They’d hung out in the basement watching Star Trek and eating ice cream. It was one of her fondest childhood memories.
A Mother's Conviction (Secrets Series Book 3) Page 5
